Floater's diary
- Thread starter Floater
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Floater
Well-known member
I have to say. I´m so proud. I´ve lost 5kg without under-eating or over-exercising. I like what I see in the mirror. Of course the gender dysphoria is still there. But the combination of sobriety and good work ethics really does make a huge difference and I´m so happy & grateful for that :3
Floater
Well-known member
Snack: a bowl of cherries. Took out four slices of rye bread to thaw. Will have them with gouda cheese as a bedtime snack. If I feel hungry for protein as well, I can have 200g of cottage cheese or two fried eggs as well. Meatloaf is also an option but we´ll see what I end up deciding to have. Carbs before bed are a must for me though, hence the rye bread.
EDIT: yeah the bread & gouda with a few drops of roasted sesame oil left me hungry, so I´m also having 200g of cottage cheese. Then, hopefully, I´ll fall asleep easy because I slept very badly last night
EDIT: yeah the bread & gouda with a few drops of roasted sesame oil left me hungry, so I´m also having 200g of cottage cheese. Then, hopefully, I´ll fall asleep easy because I slept very badly last night
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Floater
Well-known member
A trans artist is making a gallery exhibit about trans men/ trans mascs in different stages of transitioning. The concept of my photo was suggested by me: "Not Confused", and it´s supposed to communicate the unjust treatment autistic trans people face in the Finnish trabs clinic system. The artist suggested I´ll be standing in front of a white wall and he´ll use two projectors to project one text about autistics and another about trans people on my face and body. I´d like my pose to communicate tenacity and swagger in the face of systemic misrepresentation, infantilization, and medical transphobia.
I could feel during my 120 mins of aqua jogging that I´m sleep deprived. God damn sleep issues. Had my locker room protein shake. Some teenagers were in the locker room with their phones out and I politely asked them to put them away because some middle aged woman didn´t dare take her towel off and get dressed. The use of cell phones is actually prohibited in the dressing rooms because some sick fucks take pics of others and put those on p0rn sites. Of course the teenagers had no nefarious motives, they were just being teenagers, but it´s still not polite of them.
At home. Having meatloaf with corn & avocado. I feel like I´m gonna pass out, I´m so tired. I think I´ll go lay down for a minute after I´ve eaten.
EDIT: didn´t go lie down because I´d just take a nap and then not be able to sleep properly. Eating made me feel a bit better and I realized I was still hungry, so I´m also having a rye bread sandwich with gouda and roasted sesame oil, and two chocolate pralines I found in the cupboard
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Sounds good. I hope the project will be a resounding success.
Poor locker room lady, feeling so uncomfortable in what should be a safe space. It's hard to be a teen and think about other people's needs sometimes. And locker rooms just suck in general.
Floater
Well-known member
I hope so too! The artist seems super nice. The photoshoot will take place in Suomenlinna, a historical fort just off the coast of Helsinki. We´ll see how that will affect me, because I used to actually work there for my mother for a while, when she still had her renovation company and I was desperate for scraping a livelihood somehow. But of course this time I´ll return a victor and get some bad ass photos taken and I can look forward to the future and the changes my body will eventually undergo.
Kidding here, but I´m hoping for a fairytale scenario where the photo will end up so good that some rich artsy type will be touched by my situation and pay for my diagnosis and treatments in the private sector.
Yeah, I felt super bad for her. I didn´t mind the teens being teens when I was getting dressed but the lady was so uncomfortable so I felt like I needed to say something.
Good news: I´m tired. I´ll make spaghetti with portobello mushroom, garlic, and two fried eggs on the side. Heikki will need to be content with just a short run tonight, because I don´t want the tiredness to pass, I just need a hearty meal and hit the hay!
EDIT OK the damn portobello was mouldy so I´ll just make tuna and scallion pasta instead. So annoying when this happens :/ Portobellos are so damn expensive too and they weren´t past the best before date so not my fault.
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Floater
Well-known member
After food prep, I had four ice cream mochi as a snack, two tangy fruit ones and two caramel ones. The caramel ones were heavenly, I liked the fruit ones too but they were a bit too tart for my sweet tooth. Then I let Heikki out for his run and he was absolutely adorable as he always is.
Before bed, I´ll have 200g of cottage cheese for protein and spaghetti with gouda cheese, a couple of chopped Brazil nuts for a nice texture, chopped mild chili, scallions, pistachio oil, a squeeze of lemon juice (EDIT: no I won´t use that, the lemon was totally moldy), and white pepper for some much needed carbs for a good night´s sleep. After I´ve eaten, I´ll run the dishwasher.
Plan for tomorrow: return to post a pair of boots that looked very nice but had a noisy zipper that would drive me nuts. Clean Heikki´s cage, vacuum, and maybe give the floors a quick wipe with a damp mop. Rest, rest, rest. I need that now. Migraine is kind of lurking in the background.
Before bed, I´ll have 200g of cottage cheese for protein and spaghetti with gouda cheese, a couple of chopped Brazil nuts for a nice texture, chopped mild chili, scallions, pistachio oil, a squeeze of lemon juice (EDIT: no I won´t use that, the lemon was totally moldy), and white pepper for some much needed carbs for a good night´s sleep. After I´ve eaten, I´ll run the dishwasher.
Plan for tomorrow: return to post a pair of boots that looked very nice but had a noisy zipper that would drive me nuts. Clean Heikki´s cage, vacuum, and maybe give the floors a quick wipe with a damp mop. Rest, rest, rest. I need that now. Migraine is kind of lurking in the background.