Floater's diary

I skipped the pool today because ´ll have more time for it tomorrow, and I wanted to get some food prep done. I made baked, marinated tofu, two portions of soba noodles with garlic, chili, and roasted sesame oil, and two veggie, tuna and cream cheese frittatas, one of which is my breakfast. Still feeling physically and emotionally exhausted but not in a bad way. I just need to wrap my head around the fact that this is happening, I have flown over the first hurdle, I can clear the rest too!
 
I timed all my bills and rent for the next month. Feels good, as always, to be ahead of the game. I´ll have a small bowl of mango for a snack.
 
Weightloss plan for spring 2022 (20.2. - 31.5):

1) Prioritize aqua jogging workouts, and increase individual workouts from 90 mins to 120 mins whenever possible. Gym, for now, is for maintenance and to prevent loss of metabolically active muscle mass. I´ll have time to bulk up once on T, now the focus is to get on that T.

2) Prioritize home cooking. It´s not realistic to never eat anything but home meals, but it should be the focus.

3) Be mindful of fats in my diet. I love hearty dishes and cheese, but I need to cut.

4) Keep going to SMART and put these plans into words and action. Practice, patience, persistence.

Gauge effectiveness by hopping on the scales - but max weekly. By mid May, check your progress and make any necessary changes.
 
Sounds like a solid plan. Also: food can absolutely be hearty without having a lot of fat! Low-fat soups and stews can work really well.
 
Llama said:
Sounds like a solid plan. Also: food can absolutely be hearty without having a lot of fat! Low-fat soups and stews can work really well.
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Of course but I´ll need to be mindful with my nduja and roasted sesame oil :/

Dinner was 200g of cottage cheese. Took out pineapple to thaw and I´ll also have some marinated tofu and soba noodles with chopped celery before I go to sleep. I just can´t sleep without carbs so it makes sense to have carbs in the evening. And of course balance this thing so I don´t find myself in ED city, population me.

But it will be worth the hunger and initial anxiety. The endgame and reward here is HUGE.
 
Balance is key. It would be awful to get back into ED land. It's a horrible place. I trust you to be careful, Arvo. You have done so well to get to this place. I would love to lose 10 kg too. In the next year would be great.
 
Cate said:
Balance is key. It would be awful to get back into ED land. It's a horrible place. I trust you to be careful, Arvo. You have done so well to get to this place. I would love to lose 10 kg too. In the next year would be great.
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I promise I´ll keep my wits about this, forum mom. But next year is too far away, it has to be before my physical. But don´t worry, I don´t want to lose my lean mass, so I won´t go into over restriction.

Had a protein shake, tofu & soba noodles with some sauerkraut as a bedtime meal and now it´s hopefully off to Dreamland :grouphug:
 
My sleep patterns are WAY off. It's 4PM and I just woke up 🤦🏼 I guess the stress from trans clinic does it..
 
Okay the day just keeps getting better. I heated up the sauna and sitting there I noticed my right tit was bleeding. Turns out the tiny pimple I noticed a week ago wasn´t so tiny: I now have a hole in my right tit that´s roughly 1 cm deep, 0,5cm in diameter, and completely painless. I´ll call the doctor first thing in the morning.
 
Llama said:
:grouphug: Bodies are weird man. Here's hoping you get an appointment right away 🤞
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I probably will. :grouphug: Bodies are weird but this isn´t a pimple. I have a hole in my tit and I´m not leaving it up to chance to have it checked. Besides, it´s showing signs of inflammation, so I need a doctor even if the hole itself is harmless.
 
It sounds like an abscess to me, although why it wouldn't hurt I don't know. Whatever it is: of course definitely get it checked out.
 
I called the health clinic and they told me to show it to a walk-in nurse. But didn´t sound too worried. Signs of inflammation are gone now.

Took my weight with clothes on and it´s 93kg with an empty stomach. That´s good news because it means I only have 8kg of fat to lose instead of 10. I haven´t gone crazy restrictive but I have had minimal sodium and little carbs from grains, mostly from fruit & veg. (I love grains but they make me swell up.) I could probably hit 80kg safely by the end of summer but for now 85 is enough. I´m not a fan of the BMI in general but I´d rather fit the limits on my own instead of a doctor telling me to lose weight.

Still extremely tired. I´m trying to decide whether I should go aqua jogging or rest. The tithole is covered by a scab so I don´t think it would start leaking in the pool. On the off chance that that happened though, IDK. I had a nice walk last night. Maybe I should go for a walk and see how that makes me feel?
 
Breakfast: tuna, cream cheese and veggie frittata, a plate of fruit, 1dl of soy protein powder mixed with water.
 
Cleaned Heikki's cage. The hole looks clean, a scab came off in the sauna but there's no bleeding. However, the right breast is sore and my right arm feels... Off somehow.

I guess that as the walk-in nurse can't offer any insight into anything but the scab itself, I can monitor this at home and if the strange sensations don't pass, I'll just demand to see a doctor 🤷🏼

EDIT there was a woman in the sauna who had had unilateral mastectomy. Magical thinking or providence?
 
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A version of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon maybe? I think seeing a doctor would make sense because spontaneous oozing, pain, and weird sensations in your arm are not normal, and if seeing a nurse is the easiest way to get into the doctor's office that probably makes sense as a first step. Of course it's your body and your decision, but I imagine having someone inspect your chest could cause some pretty bad dysphoria and I want to make sure that isn't subconsciously influencing your decision.
 
Well done on the 2 kg lost already. That's a win :)
I would definitely get that hole checked by the nurse. Nurses see & know a lot more than most people give them credit for & would be able to work out if it needs seeing to by a doctor.
 
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