Floater's diary

Cate said:
Other than being awake until 4 am, it sounds like a good day :)
Click to expand...
It was a great day! Except that when I let Heikki out for a run, he decided to pleasure himself against the wool sock I was wearing, and as soon as I understood what was going on and moved him away, he proceeded to blow himself. I know he´s just doing chinchilla things and he´s a young male and hormonal, but I could have lived happier without this experience...

Having oats + protein powder + PB + blueberries.
 
Floater said:
It was a great day! Except that when I let Heikki out for a run, he decided to pleasure himself against the wool sock I was wearing, and as soon as I understood what was going on and moved him away, he proceeded to blow himself. I know he´s just doing chinchilla things and he´s a young male and hormonal, but I could have lived happier without this experience...
Click to expand...
That made me laugh!
As much as I adore Archie sometimes the doggie things he does almost make me throw up. I swear he had a piece of grass well over a foot long hanging out his rear end this morning. Euww!
Floater said:
Having oats + protein powder + PB + blueberries.
Click to expand...
Snap! That was my breakfast, too, but with hemp seeds, not PB.
 
@Cate oh poor Archie :D I love your profile pic BTW - "Eating well is a form of self-respect" are words to live by!

@Llama lol, "in the wilderness, nothing goes to waste"

Breakfast: lamb sausage, chickpea and veggie soup with a dollop of smetana, rye bread, a huge mug of fennel tea, and coffee :)
 
After getting my sides buzzed I did some grocery shopping (veggies, truffle-infused olive oil, chicken, gravlax) and had a nice brisk walk home in the crispy weather. While I was walking, I was planning how to DIY my old tea table into something a bit nicer. I had always thought it was made out of solid wood, but as Heikki took a bite out of it, turns out it was glulam all along. (Explains why, despite my meticulous work in giving it a new finish a few years back, the paint dried uneven!) It occurred to me that I could lightly sand the surface of the table, buy mosaic tiles, maybe smash those up a bit so I don´t have to settle for a "pixelated" end result (depending on the design of course, and the size of the tiles), get a glue gun, and go to town! If the table were massive wood, that kind of an approach would ruin it, but who gives a fuck about glulam? I could turn a mediocre piece of furniture into a proper work of art.

Anyway: time for lunch. Rice, two marinated eggs, portobello mushrooms, fresh tomato, corn.

EDIT: also four pralines.

Decided to do food prep and roast the kilo of beets I bought while waiting for my meeting to start in 1,5 hrs. They´ll be done just in time for me to snack on them with some hummus before the meeting. Oh and I bought a new pair of college pants, my old ones are starting to come apart at the inseam thanks to my thunder thighs.
 
Last edited:
Dinner: roasted beets with hummus, a couple of crackers, and a bowl of the same soup I had for breakfast with a dollop of smetana.
 
Floater said:
It occurred to me that I could lightly sand the surface of the table, buy mosaic tiles, maybe smash those up a bit so I don´t have to settle for a "pixelated" end result (depending on the design of course, and the size of the tiles), get a glue gun, and go to town!
Click to expand...
That sounds like a fun project!
 
Llama said:
That sounds like a fun project!
Click to expand...
Yeah! I´m not going to start right away, but it would be a perfect summer months project, as I´ll have a lot of time to kill indoors during the high UV hours from 10-17. And of course I need to plan it well, I don´t want to destroy the table for a sub-par end result (as after the gluing etc. it will be unsalvageable).

Bedtime snack: two slices of rye bread with hummus, a small bowl of cherries, 200g of cottage cheese, a small bowl of rice with falafels.
 
Feeling slightly restless. If I have trouble falling asleep, I´ll have crackers and blue cheese, but I´ll meditate and shower now and try to fall asleep.
 
I really liked my profile pic when I saw it. I had it saved & had forgotten about it. That mosaic project sounds like fun. I can't use glues or anything smelly or I would have a crack at mosaic. It would be fun!
Hope you can get to sleep easily.
 
Cate said:
I really liked my profile pic when I saw it. I had it saved & had forgotten about it. That mosaic project sounds like fun. I can't use glues or anything smelly or I would have a crack at mosaic. It would be fun!
Hope you can get to sleep easily.
Click to expand...
I fell asleep reasonably quickly, thanks :) Hot glue (the kind you apply with a "gun") has no scent. I used it as a kid in technical workshops :)
 
Breakfast: last portion of the sausage + chickpea + veggie soup, two slices of rye bread, a small bowl of mango. I was planning to go aqua jogging in the morning but I have assistance visit at 13:30, so I think I´ll rather go after that so I don´t need to hurry/rush. I´ll do some food prep now instead, and wash the floors and clean Heikki´s cage.
 
After cleaning up I prepped 6 portions of green curry with chicken, black peas, aubergine, cherry tomatoes, carrots, sweet red pepper, onions, garlic, ginger, coconut milk, green curry paste, and soy + hot sauce. Also prepped marinated eggs.

Lunch was two boiled eggs and one portion of curry with rice, and two pralines.

Aqua jogged for 90 mins and had my locker room porridge and a stick of red licorice. Now having dinner: curry, two slices of rye bread, two roasted beets, hummus, and sauerkraut.
 
I slept 10,5 hours, must have needed it. Weird dreams but woke up rested.

Stuff about climate change in the newspaper again. Fear and sadness for the loss of countless species of animals cuts my heart like a knife. I know it's not my fault as an individual. I know my lifestyle is far from excessive or damaging to the planet. But the animals don't know that despite their best efforts they will first suffer hunger and then one by one pass away to the point of extinction.

What a way to start a Monday.
 
On the other hand the animals won't spare a thought for you when you go hungry and cold for their sake either. It sucks but you are doing what can reasonably be expected of you and you further reducing your consumption of resources to the point of barely being alive won't make nearly as much difference as one of the big spenders cutting back one percent.
 
Llama said:
you are doing what can reasonably be expected of you and you further reducing your consumption of resources to the point of barely being alive won't make nearly as much difference as one of the big spenders cutting back one percent.
Click to expand...
Thank you for this.

I have had an incredibly slow morning to the point that I decided to take a short effect ADHD med. I have lower back pain and stomach pain, as I often do when I go back to aqua jogging after a long break. It will pass, and if it doesn´t alleviate after stretching, I think ibuprofen is a reasonable choice.

Breakfast: a small bowl of chicken and black bean curry. I prepped two portions of rice for later and took out cherries and pineapple to thaw. I´ve decided to start cooking 2dl of rice + 3dl of water in one go instead of the former 1dl rice + 1,5dl of water, as the latter makes too little rice for two portions and a bit too much for one.
 
Lunch: three roasted beets with smetana, a small bowl of cherries & pineapple, a marinated egg.

I was supposed to paint today, but feel completely overcome by sadness. The weather outside reminds me of Nera´s last weeks. I keep having regrets about not having been sober when she was alive. Except that I _was_ sober for good portions of it and I know perfectly well that I never compromised her care or took her for granted when I wasn´t. I can´t fall into the trap of black and white thinking: it´s not like I was zoinked off my gourd. I just wish I could have had more time with her or that I could go back, that there was some magical gate I could step through to find her and realize that it´s this life that is the dream and the next one that´s real. Which is a fairytale of course. But there are times when I feel like I only need to reach out and my hand will meet her silky fur and the warmth of her breath.

Oh well. I´m probably emotional because even though it doesn´t feel like that when I´m in the pool, 90 mins of aqua jogging IS a proper workout. I need to remind myself that I´ve been doing super well lately, and this Thursday I will have been sober for a month, yay! While it´s far from unheard of for me to abstain for that long, this time the end goal is different of course, so each milestone feels more meaningful.

Note to self: I have noticed lately that when I feel sad or anxious, it´s almost always hunger in disguise. My stomach doesn´t really register the hunger so to me hunger = shaky hands and legs feeling weak, which of course is pretty extreme and by that point I should have eaten long ago...! So I guess I just need to teach myself to eat by the clock until my hunger cues return, if they indeed ever will. I know it´s common for autistic people to not feel hunger "normally" (or in some cases, to never feel satiated). It kind of bums me out because it feels stupid to have to practice something that should come naturally but here we are and that´s all there is to it :/
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top