Floater's diary
- Thread starter Floater
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Floater
Well-known member
FUCK YES! The newest doctor's statement just came in the post and I took pics of it and sent it to the the proper authorities, and I'm so relieved I could cry. No appetite though so I need to force myself to eat something because I have plans with my ex tonight. (Oh my god my life sounds so sad lol.)
Now basically today would be aqua jogging day but I wonder if I should go tomorrow instead? On the other hand, I've packed my stuff already so it wouldn't be such and effort to go anyway. And I could take it easy, just for an hour or so.
I've clearly been bitten by a DIY fly because I just turned an old T-shirt my arms can't fit into anymore into a distressed top. Not my usual style at all, but I liked the shirt too much to give it away and it was just way too small around my shoulders to wear. I look like a delinquent from an 80s movie in it, but I think I can find some occasion to wear it haha.
Also found yet another source of dysphoria: tit crinkles. Despite how religiously I apply sunscreen, I tend to get a red decolleté in the summer time due to years of cumulative sun damage. (I'm translucently white so staying indoors and wearing sunscreen helps, but...) Now, as my milkers are huge, and I sleep on my side, the skin gets crinkly overnight and as sun dries it out, it's more visible in the summer. I hate it with passion. But then again it's probably one of those things that's most likely just visible to me. LOL
Now basically today would be aqua jogging day but I wonder if I should go tomorrow instead? On the other hand, I've packed my stuff already so it wouldn't be such and effort to go anyway. And I could take it easy, just for an hour or so.
I've clearly been bitten by a DIY fly because I just turned an old T-shirt my arms can't fit into anymore into a distressed top. Not my usual style at all, but I liked the shirt too much to give it away and it was just way too small around my shoulders to wear. I look like a delinquent from an 80s movie in it, but I think I can find some occasion to wear it haha.
Also found yet another source of dysphoria: tit crinkles. Despite how religiously I apply sunscreen, I tend to get a red decolleté in the summer time due to years of cumulative sun damage. (I'm translucently white so staying indoors and wearing sunscreen helps, but...) Now, as my milkers are huge, and I sleep on my side, the skin gets crinkly overnight and as sun dries it out, it's more visible in the summer. I hate it with passion. But then again it's probably one of those things that's most likely just visible to me. LOL
FUCK YES! indeed! 
Mostly sounds like you're planning to drink 
Better a delinquent than a detective: nobody looks good in white/pastel suits and no socks in closed shoes...
I hate it so much. A friend of mine wears a night bra to reduce it but I don't think it actually helps.
Floater
Well-known member
Guilty!
*shivers* the blisters!!!
Years ago there used to be this foam material stick you could buy and shove in your bra to keep the breasts separated and apparently reduce crinkling, but I doubt it actually worked and the whole idea was just, well, misogynistic IMHO in the sense that it further pathologized the idea that "aging woman´s body/ female-typical body equals bad". I do find it interesting that smooth and supple skin isn't a beauty standard in men - while it's pretty much unobtainable for anyone over 25 anyway. People have pores and veins regardless of gender. I'm particularly dysphoric about my stretch marks but a lot of gym bros have those. Hm.
God damn it's almost 4PM and I haven't eaten yet. One of those days I guess... But I'm not feeling bad, just so relieved about the disability stuff finally being in order that I'm a bit scatterbrained!
Floater
Well-known member
Thanks Llama <3
I finally got around to eating - I'm having the bento box I made yesterday - and I also prepped some tamagoyaki style omelette for later. I'll cool it and keep it in the fridge, should be tasty on rice or with some bread or salad
Floater
Well-known member
Got home, I'm heating up green lentil stew with pollock, bought gnocchi, sausages, heavy cream, and ham on my way home. I'll eat the overnight oats I prepped yesterday later today and will do some kind of food prep for tomorrow morning even if it's just putting rice to soak.
Floater
Well-known member
I'm hungry so I'll have the overnight oats now and maybe the omelettes too. I'm just glad I have an appetite, in fact I seem to be way more into food than beer right now which is very positive. Haven't heard from my ex, he's at his little brother's band gig so we'll see what happens.
EDIT: put rice to soak and prepped more overnight oats for tomorrow. Didn't eat the omelettes yet but will do so soon.
EDIT: put rice to soak and prepped more overnight oats for tomorrow. Didn't eat the omelettes yet but will do so soon.
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Floater
Well-known member
I ended up having two beers and a walk with my ex. Huge success. I have beer in the fridge but I just don't want anymore. I'm having two rye sandwiches with cheese and ham. THIS is how I always want to use alcohol. Who would have thought that eating in between makes such a difference! I know the rough draft of what hormonal etc explanations there are to that, but now it really clicked!
Floater
Well-known member
EXACTLY!
I woke up at 06.15 and couldn't fall asleep again, so I just slapped on some sunscreen (not that there's UVs yet) and decided to go for a walk. I dreamt about Nera. If/as I take a chinchilla I won't have any reason or possibility to go on walkies with my pet. But I can walk by myself. And I don't think I would be ready to go on walkies with a dog that isn't Nera. We truly had a bond unlike anything I've felt before.