Floater's diary

Great job on the aquajogging!
Thanks! It felt really nice today - having a big breakfast definitely helped keep me warm and fueled! My skin feels a bit itchy and my face looks red, but I'm prone to that anyway. I agree about the mirrors... Mirrors and Photoshop are both hellspawn.

I had 2dl of thawed mango for an appetizer and am now having bean and veggie soup. This time I added a spoonful of PB to thicken it up and give it some variety, and also scallions and pomegranate seeds because I liked that so much last time. I still have three uses on my pool card and after that I need to buy more. It's always motivating to realize that hey, once again I've been to the pool for 10 times!
 
I had to order a new pair of hiking boots - the pair I got in June is starting to fall apart. Not really a big surprise, as I walk a lot. I don't think I've ever had a pair of shoes that would have lasted me more than 10 months :cautious:
 
I know the problem... I try to alternate my shoes so they don't wear out as quickly, but they still rarely last over a year. Hmpf.
 
Went grocery shopping: onion, Turkish yogurt, two boxes of sauerkraut, and frozen fried fish. I'm making edamame braised with stir-fried onions, plenty of spices, tomato and tamarind paste, and sauerkraut, and because I'm making it in the last clean pot I have before running the dishwasher, I'll have it with couscous instead of rice. I'll have the leftovers with rice tomorrow. I find that braising edamame with acidic stuff makes the texture almost custard-like and that way it seems to be easier on my stomach too, and brings out the nutty sweetness of the beans better.

Hurrah! I've almost emptied my freezer. I wasn't originally going to order any frozen edamame, but it looks like I'll finish all I have, so I may have to modify my online grocery haul. I feel very accomplished for having eaten such balanced meals for so cheap, without it feeling boring. Of course, I'm still super bloated and gassy from switching to a fiber-rich diet, but time will help with that.

About gender stuff: the fiasco with the Terrifying Sex Nurse got me really insecure and gave me major anxiety about "what if I'm not really trans", which in retrospect is quite understandable and maybe also a way for my brain to handle the fear of maybe having fucked up my transition process in the opening scene, so to speak. But today I had that lovely feeling again of seeing my face in the mirror and seeing the man hiding just beneath the surface. (Haha, makes me sound like Jaws, but whatever.) It's very clear by now that whenever I feel good or at least neutral about myself, and move myself and eat right, I'm in this headspace. Speaks a lot I think.

EDIT: the edamame thing was great with couscous!
 
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It's very clear by now that whenever I feel good or at least neutral about myself, and move myself and eat right, I'm in this headspace. Speaks a lot I think.
Yup. You're moving in the right direction, regardless of what the clinic doctor says.
 
It's very clear by now that whenever I feel good or at least neutral about myself, and move myself and eat right, I'm in this headspace. Speaks a lot I think.
It does speak a lot.
I feel much better about who I am when I am looking after myself properly.
 
I don't think I've ever had a pair of shoes that would have lasted me more than 10 months
:eek: my current pair that I wear almost every day is getting close to 2 1/2 years old, I don't think I could afford it if my boots wore out that quickly. The only extra care I have taken with them was to spray them with an extra coat of waterproofing. I love my Mongrels
 
@Trusylver I think it's a combination of living on disability and being so poor I can only afford fairly cheap shoes to begin with, not having a car so I walk everywhere, temperature range of 40°C within a year the shoes are subjected to, mechanical wear from walking in the snow in the winter, and road salts that do my shoes in so quickly. The late Sir Terry Pratchett put it very well in his playful, but accurate "Captain Samuel Vimes' 'Boots' theory of echonomical unfairness". And yes, I do waterproof my clompers too.
 
@Trusylver I think it's a combination of living on disability and being so poor I can only afford fairly cheap shoes to begin with, not having a car so I walk everywhere, temperature range of 40°C within a year the shoes are subjected to, mechanical wear from walking in the snow in the winter, and road salts that do my shoes in so quickly. The late Sir Terry Pratchett put it very well in his playful, but accurate "Captain Samuel Vimes' 'Boots' theory of echonomical unfairness". And yes, I do waterproof my clompers too.

I agree, Sir Terry Pratchett was on point with a lot of his writing, and was also great in person. I don't have snow to deal with but the sub tropical climate I am in can be harsh on boots. Giving up on other things to get a good pair was hard but worth it. The most use I get out of a sports type shoe is about 12 months despite far less use and they cost a small fortune as well.
 
For me it's more that my feet get way too warm in leather shoes for most of the year. And I walk on asphalt a lot so some cushioning is nice. So I do normally wear sneakers or "plastic" hiking shoes. Boots last forever because I end up never wearing them (I don't go into truly treacherous terrain that often). What wears through is usually the inside and the mesh for sneakers (my little toe goes through because they're always too narrow) and the sole or the straps for sandals. Maybe that's a goal for this fall though: find shoes I actually want to wear in town that might last longer.
 
My favorite types of shoes are flip flops - my last pair of Havaianas lasted me three years despite being in regular use from April to September. Other than that, it doesn't seem to matter whether I buy leather boots, hiking boots or running shoes, they just fall apart. I would love to wear my Dr Martens but they are way too narrow for me :( So I decided to order the same hiking boot I bought in July because they are extremely comfortable while they last, and they have Vibram soles thanks for which I only slipped and fell once this winter!

I just woke up in a great mood. I'm so bloated that I look like a Shetland pony, but my body and brain are clearly enjoying my improved, veggie-rich diet. Last night just before bed I had a handful of snack salami, a bit of blue cheese, and some Ritz crackers to help me sleep and I had a wonderful night's sleep. Gym day today! I'm exited to go! I think I'll have a great workout :)
 
I hate having stuff between my toes so flipflops gross me ouuut. Only on myself though: other people can wear whatever they enjoy.
Glad to hear the extra veggies are doing you good: let's hope the bloat goes down quickly.
 
Breakfast: two flatbreads with salt beef (IDK what it is about me and salt beef right now, I know it's highly processed and not very healthy, but it just feels like a party in my mouth), the remaining four snack salami, the remaining nugget-size piece of blue cheese, and a small bowl of sauerkraut. I took out mango to thaw, I think I'll have two fried fish fillets with a side of cold couscous and yesterday's edamame-sauerkraut thing topped with scallions for lunch, that should give me plenty of fuel to crush it at the gym!

I'm out of flatbread and down to half a bag of frozen mango so if I'm not too exhausted after gym, I'll pick some on my way back home. But it's not urgent, as I have bean and veggie soup in the fridge for my post-workout meal, I'll just need to figure out what carbs to have with it.
 
Lunch: 2dl of thawed mango, two fried fish fillets, couscous with spicy edamame-sauerkraut dish from yesterday, topped with pomegranate seeds and scallions. It was delicious and very satiating, I think I'll experiment with plain frozen pollock once I have eaten the rest of the fish fillets. I'll have a short rest and hit the gym.
 
Made it to the gym, kept it short and simple: bench press, leg press + low row. The gym is packed, but I'm content with what I got done. Now I'll have my 6 pb+j Ritz crackers, four Brazil nuts, and a handful of pumpkin seeds, and walk home.
 
Well done getting to the gym! I chickened out today and blamed the time shift...
 
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