Floater's diary

Hmph. The day refuses to get better. I've been lying in bed watching dog grooming videos and crying. Realized I'm so hungry I'm shaking, so I had the rest of my spinach couscous with beans and pomegranate seeds and added a chunk of blue cheese in it in the hopes it might give me the kick needed to hit the gym. :/
 
I'm glad to hear you're eating despite everything. Take care my dude: things will get better again.
 
I made it to the gym. Only did low row and leg press, I just didn't have it in me to do anything long & complicated. I might take a sedative at home, feels like my mind & body are just rebelling today. But I made it here and that means 6km of walking.
 
OK I deserve a medal or something. I got home, made veggie and bean stew which is now simmering on the stove, and had two flatbreads with salt beef as a snack (I had my Ritz crackers and nuts in the locker room). I'm exhausted and sad, but I have managed to eat balanced meals today despite everything. The soup should stay good for four days, so I can heat it up in portions as light meals/snacks. It's too light to be a proper meal on it's own, but if I hit one of those "I really don't want to eat" spots, it might go down relatively easily. I added four small potatoes to it to make the consistency a bit more creamy. Otherwise it's just stuff I salvaged from the fridge before spoiling, two cans of black beans, spices, and sauerkraut because my sauerkraut obsession is still going strong.

I'm extremely bloated and gassy, but that happens every time I switch to a healthier diet high in fiber. It should pass in a couple of weeks.
 
Llama said:
🏅 Here's your medal: you earned it. Great work!
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Thank you Llama! :grouphug:

I'm eating the struggle soup now, and while it's not a culinary masterpiece, it's not bad by any means. My skin is acting up, I'll have to make sure to shower before bed.
 
Thank you @Cate! Are the doggos yours? What a sweet picture!

We are having a storm here! I love windy and stormy weather. Whatever happens in my surroundings has a strong impact on my mood and how I feel my body, and even sitting inside and looking outside at the trees swaying, I feel energized and like there's a change in the air, literally and figuratively.

I feel frustrated that I don't have a work desk of any kind. My apartment was too small for the one I had, and I would like to do some watercolor works. Of course I can theoretically do that by my small bar table & bar stools, but not as comfortably. Or on the floor. But to work in uncomfortable positions requires a strong inner drive, and I just don't feel driven enough right now.

My friend was supposed to come over today to celebrate my BD, but she's a Scout leader, and their boat got flipped in the harbor due to the storm, so she has to go check and fix the damages. I need to take a rest day today so gym is not an option. Maybe I'll clean up anddo chores to pass the time.
 
Breakfast was two flatbreads with salt beef, and lunch is a bowl of bean and veg soup with scallions and pomegranate seeds. It looks colorful and pretty!
EDIT: I was feeling hungry for dairy/protein so I had 200g of plain Greek yogurt for dessert. The soup has gotten really nice and flavorful in the fridge, and pomegranate seeds complimented it really nicely!
 
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Floater said:
Of course I can theoretically do that by my small bar table & bar stools, but not as comfortably. Or on the floor. But to work in uncomfortable positions requires a strong inner drive, and I just don't feel driven enough right now.
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Would miniatures work comfortably on the tiny tables? Postcard size used to work well on my own tiny table and the artificial constraint sometimes influences creativity positively.
 
Llama said:
Would miniatures work comfortably on the tiny tables? Postcard size used to work well on my own tiny table and the artificial constraint sometimes influences creativity positively.
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It's more about the unnatural position I would be forced to be in, rather than the size of the work. My aquarel paper sheets are only A4 anyway. But you are right about the constraint point: when I was in the mental hospital, I drew and painted on the floor, in the bed, wherever. It seems like something inside me required for creative work is just frozen more solid than Walt Disney's head. (I know it's just a silly conspiracy, but the idea of the "Disney on Ice" shows existing to cover up the fact that Mr. Disney is in suspended animation in a cryogenic chamber is hilarious to me.)

Oh well, I did a hair mask and took sweet peas to thaw for snacking and to be added in noodles later. Maybe it's OK to not do that much today.
 
I hadn't heard that conspiracy theory and I kind of love it :rotflmao:
I should probably start doing creative things again as well - it's good for me - but I'm not even at the point of feeling blocked. Back when I did if I just started I'd generally produce something crappy first but while doing so I'd usually get ideas for new projects.
 
@Llama , yeah, it's amazing how often getting started is the biggest hurdle...

I was feeling peckish and had a roll of croissant dough in my fridge, as well as the remains of a bag of grated cheese, so I decided to make croissants stuffed with gochujang, peas, and emmental. Let's hope they turn out OK!

EDIT: the croissants turned out great, I had three out of the six-pack (cocktail sized), and the rest of the 200g pack of half-thawed sweet green peas plain as a snack.
 
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Interesting: I have a huge appetite, but not towards anything unhealthy or high-energy: I'm currently having a bowl of plain sauerkraut. I wonder if my body wants to reset itself after the red meat and alcohol-heavy period surrounding Nera's death? I can't see any issue in eating high volume meals and snacks of stuff low in energy and high in fiber. If it's true what they say, that the gut is our second brain, my second brain seems to be quite smart about what it wants right now, and I'm not going to keep it from having it.

I packed up my swimming gear for tomorrow. I'm a bit worried about my skin, it looks like I might be having another acne breakout, but a major change in diet can contribute to the skin doing weird stuff as well. One would think that "clean food" = clean skin, but it's a myth; even positive changes can create temporary imbalances in the natural bacteria on the skin, as well as hormonal changes, so I should keep an eye on how the condition of my skin develops.
 
Dinner is spinach-chickpea spaghetti - took me 5 minutes to make the sauce, a good reminder of how I used to cook in my vegan days. I sauteed a shallot, added 200g of frozen leaf spinach, a can of drained chickpeas, spices, and (an obviously not vegan) salad cheese mix with olives and marinated garlic. It's sitting under the lid while my spaghetti cooks and will probably make another portion for later.

I browsed the shelter's pages and there's a cat I feel drawn to. She's a young adult, they want her to be the only cat in the household, and she needs lots of attention and activation. Such a cat might make a good candidate for walking her in a leash, and while it's very different from walking a dog of course, it's still fun.

EDIT: pear for dessert. It has gotten a bit soft already so I figured it's better to eat it now rather than risk it spoiling
 
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The doggos weren’t mine, but I thought it was cute. I googled dog hugs.
My brain almost always craves healthy stuff. I’m really enjoying sauerkraut at the moment & anything pickled.
Could your skin issues come from the chlorine in the pool?
 
@Cate could be the chlorine: I had the same problem when I started going to the pool in the autumn, and it settled down after a bit.

I was too hungry to sleep, so I had the remaining 3 cocktail-size croissants and two flatbreads with salt beef. The carbs are making me sleepy, just as intended. Take care everyone!
 
Woke up 10AM, which in reality was 9AM because they messed with the timeline again lol - and I was HUNGRY. Made myself two flatbreads with marg and salt beef, and a big bowl of potatoes and yesterday's chickpea spinach thing. It was lovely! And I wanted to get well fueled for my aqua jogging session this afternoon.

I took out mango to thaw. I still have two portions of veg and bean soup in the fridge, it's going to be lovely post-workout with something carbsy on the side.
 
Aqua jogged for 2hrs. Working out felt good, seeing my naked body in the mirror not so much. But now I'm clothed and safe again and having a post workout snack of six Ritz crackers with PB and orange jam, four Brazil nuts, and a spoonful of pumpkin seeds.
 
Great job on the aquajogging! Hope your skin doesn't get upset over it. Mirrors can all go shatter in a landfill.
 
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