Floater's diary

Llama said:
I wish you joy, love, contentment, wonder, support, and happiness for upcoming tour around the sun. Have a lovely day, my friend.
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Thanks, LaMa for expressing that so well.
Oh, Floater. I have had the miseries today & I can't come up with any logic for mine. You have had a tough time in the last few months & life must, must, must get better for you. I really have no reason to feel down. It's just in my chemistry.
Sending you much love from Tasmania :grouphug:
 
Thanks, @Llama 🥰
 
Cate said:
Thanks, LaMa for expressing that so well.
Oh, Floater. I have had the miseries today & I can't come up with any logic for mine. You have had a tough time in the last few months & life must, must, must get better for you. I really have no reason to feel down. It's just in my chemistry.
Sending you much love from Tasmania :grouphug:
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Thank you, @Cate ! Take care 🥰 I'm sorry you have had a tough time today.
 
Some good news at least: I think the cyst was just an acne cyst/ingrown hair based on how it looks, I will explain it to the nurse when they call me back of course, but I don't think there's reason to worry unless it gets inflamed :)

EDIT: Breakfast: super spicy Shin Ramyun brand instant noodles with sauerkraut, scallions, and cheese.
 
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I took my ADHD med after breakfast and got into the mood of tending to my plants. I have a beautiful velvet leaf hanging from my bed frame, but she's clearly getting rootbound and lanky. I took a lot of cuttings from the healthiest parts of it, and I think I'll retire the old plant and plant the cuttings in it's place once they have grown strong enough roots. It always feels a bit sad, but from the perspective of the plant itself, it's a service to it. It gets to grow young and strong again. *Insert mandatory Christian symbolism right here lol*

Luckily, I still have the epipremnum hanging from the bedframe as well, and she seems to be thriving. They are usually happy staying in the same pot for several years and like being in small pots, so I can just spread her vines to the places the velvet leaf used to occupy.

BTW if you are wondering why I seem to make a lot of typos lately, my keyboard is getting old and tired and sometimes the keys don't register touch, or get stuck. I really wish my old trusty laptop will stick with me for a couple of more years... I've had it since 2016 and I wrote my thesis on it and I've gotten very attached to it :D

Oh and a GP nurse just called me and said I shouldn't worry about the cyst/zit thing unless it gets inflamed or I get a fever. I have had a mastitis once and those SUCK. It's also sad how women's and female-typical bodies almost come with this expectation that living in them is supposed to hurt. The nurse was nice and all, just a thought in general.
 
Lunch: two Reuben hot dogs (hot dog buns, marg, mustard, hot sauce, cheese, salted beef, and sauerkraut)
 
Floater said:
The nurse was nice and all, just a thought in general.
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A nice change of pace.
It's almost funny how often men are utterly unable to deal with age-related chabges to their bodies while for women they're often just another nuisance to deal with as best they can.
 
It's +7 degrees out and it's getting way too warm for my winter jacket. And because I've been making gains at the gym, I can't fit my arms and shoulders comfortably into my old leather jacket. I think I'll try to find a seamstress who could turn it into a vest, but in the meanwhile I'll need a spring/autumn jacket of some sort. I ordered a men's black military style jacket to try, it's 100% cotton which I like. I prefer getting drizzled by the rain to sweating from the inside out in a gore tex or rain jacket.
 
100% cotton for fair weather jackets is 100% the way to go. Pic of the jacket you ordered? It sounds awesome.
 
Llama said:
100% cotton for fair weather jackets is 100% the way to go. Pic of the jacket you ordered? It sounds awesome.
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Won't look as sleek with me inside it, but I find that having details in the upper chest area helps camouflage my tits a bit, and I have very broad shoulders going on for me, so the cut should work quite well. I also like that it has tight (but stretchable) cuffs, because without those, men's sleeves tend to be way too long for my hobbit arms. And it only costs 50 euros so it's perfect for my budget!

I would prefer if it had a hood, but I have a really fun, industrial goth-style cotton hood thing that stays on with loose straps across the chest. So if I need sun or rain protection, I can wear it underneath the jacket if it's too hot for hoodies :)
 
Looks good! I can't stand tight cuffs though: I hate pressure on my wrists and ankles. Isn't as bad with men's cuts as with women's but then with men's cuts my hips don't fit. I wish I enjoyed sewing...
 
Llama said:
Looks good! I can't stand tight cuffs though: I hate pressure on my wrists and ankles. Isn't as bad with men's cuts as with women's but then with men's cuts my hips don't fit. I wish I enjoyed sewing...
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I wish I enjoyed sewing, too. My wrists and ankles are so small that cuffs aren't an issue even in women's clothing. (I have referred to my hands as "raccoon hands" for a reason: the proportions to my body are similar lol.) But my badonkadonk is so huge and my torso is so short that women's jackets never fit me either. Men's jackets sit above my ass and make a baggy outline, sort of like bomber jackets do, but it's fine by me because I like the extra space and freedom of movement, as well as how the baggy outline hides my curves.

I just had a lovely walk and picked up a bottle of prosecco to celebrate my birthday. I think I'll have polenta with spinach, celery, feta cheese and olives for dinner, and prosecco and snack salami for dessert. Odd pairing for sure, but it's my birthday, I can do what I want!

EDIT: I realized I've been low on protein today so I opted out of feta and used beans instead. Beans in polenta are great, I will definitely do this again! Cheap as dirt but doesn't taste at all like a struggle meal!
 
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I can't remember who said "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap" but for food it's often the other way around: simplicity can look quite fancy and really work.
 
Haha, the polenta was great and I was so hungry but now after eating I'm just sooo tired that I don't think I can stay up long enough to open the prosecco. Party will be moved to tomorrow, then! I put the leftovers in an oven-safe dish and will heat them up tomorrow with some extra protein added. Frozen peas, maybe? Soups and porridges are clearly my besties. There's something so comforting about them. Good night!
 
Thanks @Cate and @Llama ! I had to watch Luxeria's newest YT video but now it's off to dreamland with a peaceful soul and a full belly. I hope this year of my life will bring growth and peace of mind to me!

Thank you Nera for having celebrated 11 of my birthdays with me. I'll remember you for as long as I live.
 
Breakfast/brunch: yesterdays's bean polenta with edamame added for extra protein, and two frozen, breaded fish fillets. Those fish fillets are my treat food, not the healthiest, but they remind me of school lunches. As my home life was so stressful, I actually really liked school lunches lol :D
 
Llama said:
I can't remember who said "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap" but for food it's often the other way around: simplicity can look quite fancy and really work.
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It was Dolly Parton! I love her.

I just had a video call with a trans nonprofit org worker. He told me that he has heard complaints about Terrifying Sex Nurse before, and that made me feel a lot better. We went over the best strategy to do damage control when I get the call from my doctor on 31.3: I should go through the timeline of my three meetings with the nurse, explain how we went through a major trauma in our second meeting and then she ended the interviews abruptly on the third, and that I have still been able to stay functional and use the techniques I've learned in therapy, and that I'm very willing to keep working towards my transition with a new person. I feel hopeful.

Snack: two flatbreads with marg and salt beef, Brazil nuts and pumpkin seeds.
 
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