Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Thanks LaMa, I will definitely attempt it at some point.
I had a fantastic sleep Cate, thank you.
Day 7 - Friday 22nd February 2019
Weight - 175.6 lbs
Body fat - 40.3%
BMI - 26.7
Food:
- 2 weetabix, granola, cornflakes, milk; orange juice
- protein bar; cappuccino
- spinach wrap with chicken, sun dried tomatoes, spinach, goat's cheese; cheese and onion crisps; yogi tea
- 4 galaxy caramel squares; carrot and walnut cake; coffee and milk
- cod with tomato and olive sauce and rice; revitalise tea
- 1 1/5 bottles of white wine
Exercise:
13,061 steps
Cigs: 8
I caved and bought wine. And I was doing so well! I'm not even feeling that unhappy, I don't know why I have cravings for it every Friday without fail! Still, I am happy with 6 alcohol-free days this week and 1 cigarette-free day. Overall, the week was meh though, food needs to be a lot better. But I stuck to my exercise goals. I am especially proud of this evening, when all I wanted to do after work was go home, but I forced myself to go for an hour-long walk. I am going to get into a sustainable groove, I know it. I'm making progress.
I had a fantastic sleep Cate, thank you.
Day 7 - Friday 22nd February 2019
Weight - 175.6 lbs
Body fat - 40.3%
BMI - 26.7
Food:
- 2 weetabix, granola, cornflakes, milk; orange juice
- protein bar; cappuccino
- spinach wrap with chicken, sun dried tomatoes, spinach, goat's cheese; cheese and onion crisps; yogi tea
- 4 galaxy caramel squares; carrot and walnut cake; coffee and milk
- cod with tomato and olive sauce and rice; revitalise tea
- 1 1/5 bottles of white wine
Exercise:
13,061 steps
Cigs: 8
I caved and bought wine. And I was doing so well! I'm not even feeling that unhappy, I don't know why I have cravings for it every Friday without fail! Still, I am happy with 6 alcohol-free days this week and 1 cigarette-free day. Overall, the week was meh though, food needs to be a lot better. But I stuck to my exercise goals. I am especially proud of this evening, when all I wanted to do after work was go home, but I forced myself to go for an hour-long walk. I am going to get into a sustainable groove, I know it. I'm making progress.
Great job on the walking! Maybe it would help to plan for wine on Friday from the outset, but a smaller amount? That craving is probably just habit. There´s nothing wrong with having two glasses on a Friday and planning for it would make it feel like a treat instead of a failure.
Sunflower_
Well-known member
Hi Cate, let me kick your butt for you. 
Haha, joking, but get moving!! 
Hi Petal, I'm allowing myself to have loads of treats because I don't want to binge. Just trying to keep everything stable.
Hi LaMa, I've booked in a wine tasting for next Friday. It will probably still end up in me drinking a lot, but at least I'm being sociable and I might learn something in the process.
Hey Sunflower. I loved the first half of it, but I think it loses its way as time goes on. I still enjoyed it though. If you like kind of quirky, mind-bending stuff, I'd recommend it.
Day 8 - Saturday 23rd February 2019
Weight - 173.3 lbs
Body fat - 40.2%
BMI - 26.4
Food:
- porridge, chia seeds, pomegranate seeds, milk; orange juice
- scone with jam, cream & butter; 3 pieces chocolate biscuit cake; orange juice
- ham, cheese and tomato panini with coleslaw and side salad; coffee and milk
- carrot and orange juice; 1 slice Madeira cake; latte
- lasagne, wedges, salad, coleslaw, ketchup
- apple tart and cream; coffee and milk
- 1 mint; 1 cheese and grape skewer; handful Pringles; small glass red wine
Exercise:
10,923 steps
You can just see the detrimental effect of the wine on my diet yesterday. It's like my stomach becomes a bottomless pit. Will have to pull back a lot today. Had a good sleep though, so I should be back to normal for the week ahead.
Have to clean my room today, will probably go for a walk with my parents and get my steps in, and might do a bit of cooking this evening. There's a soup recipe I want to try. Nothing too exciting but that's okay too.
Haha, joking, but get moving!! Hi Petal, I'm allowing myself to have loads of treats because I don't want to binge. Just trying to keep everything stable.
Hi LaMa, I've booked in a wine tasting for next Friday. It will probably still end up in me drinking a lot, but at least I'm being sociable and I might learn something in the process.
Hey Sunflower. I loved the first half of it, but I think it loses its way as time goes on. I still enjoyed it though. If you like kind of quirky, mind-bending stuff, I'd recommend it.
Day 8 - Saturday 23rd February 2019
Weight - 173.3 lbs
Body fat - 40.2%
BMI - 26.4
Food:
- porridge, chia seeds, pomegranate seeds, milk; orange juice
- scone with jam, cream & butter; 3 pieces chocolate biscuit cake; orange juice
- ham, cheese and tomato panini with coleslaw and side salad; coffee and milk
- carrot and orange juice; 1 slice Madeira cake; latte
- lasagne, wedges, salad, coleslaw, ketchup
- apple tart and cream; coffee and milk
- 1 mint; 1 cheese and grape skewer; handful Pringles; small glass red wine
Exercise:
10,923 steps
You can just see the detrimental effect of the wine on my diet yesterday. It's like my stomach becomes a bottomless pit. Will have to pull back a lot today. Had a good sleep though, so I should be back to normal for the week ahead.
Have to clean my room today, will probably go for a walk with my parents and get my steps in, and might do a bit of cooking this evening. There's a soup recipe I want to try. Nothing too exciting but that's okay too.
Petal001
New member
That sounds very acceptable and like good planning to me .
Good going on loss so far and also on the exercise.
Thanks Petal.
Day 9 - Sunday 24th February 2019
Weight - 176.5 lbs
Body fat - 40%
BMI - 26.8
Food:
- carrot bircher muesli; 1 piece chocolate biscuit cake; coffee and milk
- slice of bread with butter and marmalade
- creme egg; giant buttons 40 g; caramello bar
- half scone jam and almond butter; coffee and milk
- roast chicken, stuffing, gravy, roasted potatoes, parsnips and carrots, boiled potato, broccoli
- apple tart and salted caramel ice cream
- creme egg; kit kat chunky; peppermint tea; fennel tea
Exercise:
12,920 steps
Cigs: 5
Day 10 - Monday 25th February 2019
Weight - 176.2 lbs
Body fat - 40.2%
BMI - 26.8
Food:
- 1 weetabix, granola, cornflakes, milk; orange juice
- cappuccino, 3 raspberries, banana
- chicken salad with pomegranate, cucumber, spinach, peppers, tomato, celery; 1 slice bread and butter
- coffee cake; 2 coffees and milk
- 2 x reese's pieces 42 g bars; 4 squares galaxy caramel; approx. 180 g kettle chips salt and vinegar
- bottle of red wine 13% (or probably, I'm only on glass 1)
Cigs: 9
Exercise:
10,046 steps
So obviously, things have gone down the toilet a bit. I have managed to do my steps both today and yesterday, despite not feeling like it one bit, but that is the only positive that can be taken at this moment in time.
Well, actually, maybe another positive - when I was younger, I don't think I realised why my eating was so out of control. A lot of times, there were triggers for it, but I wasn't in tune enough with myself to know that I was eating doughnuts in the toilet because I felt like a lot of people in my circle didn't like me, to use an example. Today, I know exactly why I am binge eating again and drinking wine. I know I should not turn to drugs to help me process what has happened. I should be brave and strong and face those uncomfortable feelings head on. I'm just not ready to do that yet. I feel so, so low, and I just don't want to feel like this.
I'm not going to get into what happened exactly, but someone I met last night made an insinuating remark about me, and I just felt so hurt and saddened and kind of angry about it really. I have always hated the idea of people gossiping about me and making assumptions, and the thing that was said made it clear that I have been talked about behind my back, and it has just really thrown me.
For the last few weeks, I have felt like I'm living in a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' story that has gone horribly wrong some way along the way. I'm nowhere near the person I want to be or living in the type of situation I want to be living in, with the kind of money and career I want, or personal relationships. You know those circle wheels you have to fill in to have a visual aid of the areas in your life that are lacking? I feel I am lacking in most areas. And I can't see a way to turn around and go back, I seem to be so far down the wrong road. I feel like I've wasted so much of my time. I feel like everything I want is so far away and maybe even impossible. I don't want to be this sad and lonely person anymore. I want to be able to say, 'You know what? That know-it-all can say or think what they want about me, it doesn't bother me either way', and go about my business without giving it a second thought. But I am finding it so hard to get to the place where I do that!
I also think what makes things harder is that I keep getting glimpses of things or people that I would love to have in my life all the time, and for one reason or another, it never transpires. It's just dangling outside of my reach, which is nearly worse. I can't seem to break free and grab it! And the thing about my life situation right now is that I'm always someone who wanted to go off and travel a lot, meet loads of different people from different backgrounds and with different nationalities, have loads of romances, and I actually may as well be married with a mortgage and two kids for all the adventures I'm having. I never wanted to be here at this stage of my life, I never wanted to be stuck, and that's exactly what's happened.
It's making me upset and angry and incredibly frustrated and I'm worn out from it all. I need something good to happen and I need it to happen fast. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Day 9 - Sunday 24th February 2019
Weight - 176.5 lbs
Body fat - 40%
BMI - 26.8
Food:
- carrot bircher muesli; 1 piece chocolate biscuit cake; coffee and milk
- slice of bread with butter and marmalade
- creme egg; giant buttons 40 g; caramello bar
- half scone jam and almond butter; coffee and milk
- roast chicken, stuffing, gravy, roasted potatoes, parsnips and carrots, boiled potato, broccoli
- apple tart and salted caramel ice cream
- creme egg; kit kat chunky; peppermint tea; fennel tea
Exercise:
12,920 steps
Cigs: 5
Day 10 - Monday 25th February 2019
Weight - 176.2 lbs
Body fat - 40.2%
BMI - 26.8
Food:
- 1 weetabix, granola, cornflakes, milk; orange juice
- cappuccino, 3 raspberries, banana
- chicken salad with pomegranate, cucumber, spinach, peppers, tomato, celery; 1 slice bread and butter
- coffee cake; 2 coffees and milk
- 2 x reese's pieces 42 g bars; 4 squares galaxy caramel; approx. 180 g kettle chips salt and vinegar
- bottle of red wine 13% (or probably, I'm only on glass 1)
Cigs: 9
Exercise:
10,046 steps
So obviously, things have gone down the toilet a bit. I have managed to do my steps both today and yesterday, despite not feeling like it one bit, but that is the only positive that can be taken at this moment in time.
Well, actually, maybe another positive - when I was younger, I don't think I realised why my eating was so out of control. A lot of times, there were triggers for it, but I wasn't in tune enough with myself to know that I was eating doughnuts in the toilet because I felt like a lot of people in my circle didn't like me, to use an example. Today, I know exactly why I am binge eating again and drinking wine. I know I should not turn to drugs to help me process what has happened. I should be brave and strong and face those uncomfortable feelings head on. I'm just not ready to do that yet. I feel so, so low, and I just don't want to feel like this.
I'm not going to get into what happened exactly, but someone I met last night made an insinuating remark about me, and I just felt so hurt and saddened and kind of angry about it really. I have always hated the idea of people gossiping about me and making assumptions, and the thing that was said made it clear that I have been talked about behind my back, and it has just really thrown me.
For the last few weeks, I have felt like I'm living in a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' story that has gone horribly wrong some way along the way. I'm nowhere near the person I want to be or living in the type of situation I want to be living in, with the kind of money and career I want, or personal relationships. You know those circle wheels you have to fill in to have a visual aid of the areas in your life that are lacking? I feel I am lacking in most areas. And I can't see a way to turn around and go back, I seem to be so far down the wrong road. I feel like I've wasted so much of my time. I feel like everything I want is so far away and maybe even impossible. I don't want to be this sad and lonely person anymore. I want to be able to say, 'You know what? That know-it-all can say or think what they want about me, it doesn't bother me either way', and go about my business without giving it a second thought. But I am finding it so hard to get to the place where I do that!
I also think what makes things harder is that I keep getting glimpses of things or people that I would love to have in my life all the time, and for one reason or another, it never transpires. It's just dangling outside of my reach, which is nearly worse. I can't seem to break free and grab it! And the thing about my life situation right now is that I'm always someone who wanted to go off and travel a lot, meet loads of different people from different backgrounds and with different nationalities, have loads of romances, and I actually may as well be married with a mortgage and two kids for all the adventures I'm having. I never wanted to be here at this stage of my life, I never wanted to be stuck, and that's exactly what's happened.
It's making me upset and angry and incredibly frustrated and I'm worn out from it all. I need something good to happen and I need it to happen fast. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Cate
Long term member
Hi, Em. I am struggling to find the right words but will try. So much of what you feel & say could have been me at various stages in my life. I don't have the answers I'm afraid. I have always thought I wasn't good enough or smart enough or whatever enough & I am & so are you. I am really sensitive to other people's opinions & criticisms & I get really hurt quite easily. That's really what I want you to know. You are good enough. You are not stuck. You can still change your life around. You can still travel & make new friends & have romances. 
That made me laugh though. I would not swap the married with 2 kids for anything. Glad I don't have a mortgage any more though.
The universe doesn´t care, I´m afraid. I do and I´m sorry you´re struggling.
Petal001
New member
Em
Sorry I’m only reading and replying now.
It’s funny last week I felt kind of in the same boat that here I am stuck at 50 thinking my life would be easier by now and not full of daily stresses and struggles.
Fact of life people gossip about others and I know for a fact I am gossiped about . But you know that that’s their business .
You know your own core value and you need to live by them and don’t care what other people think or how they view you . We cannot control or influence way others think of us . Some might like us some might not . Our business is to like ourselves . ( sorry I was reading tiny Buddha and some of this came up and I liked it )
Regarding your life dreams you can do anything you want . Go travel and meet new people . You did it in January so go book another trip. You have your job and health and your a lovely friendly chatty person . Have you looked up anything on meet-ups website ? Some great things there.
Anyway hope you are feeling better and more positive today . I know what it’s like to get low . Big hugs to you x
Sorry I’m only reading and replying now.
It’s funny last week I felt kind of in the same boat that here I am stuck at 50 thinking my life would be easier by now and not full of daily stresses and struggles.
Fact of life people gossip about others and I know for a fact I am gossiped about . But you know that that’s their business .
You know your own core value and you need to live by them and don’t care what other people think or how they view you . We cannot control or influence way others think of us . Some might like us some might not . Our business is to like ourselves . ( sorry I was reading tiny Buddha and some of this came up and I liked it )
Regarding your life dreams you can do anything you want . Go travel and meet new people . You did it in January so go book another trip. You have your job and health and your a lovely friendly chatty person . Have you looked up anything on meet-ups website ? Some great things there.
Anyway hope you are feeling better and more positive today . I know what it’s like to get low . Big hugs to you x
Oh Cate, I didn't mean that the house and kids isn't a great thing also - I just meant I have the freedom that comes with not having it and I feel like I need to be doing more with my time.
Thanks LaMa.
Thanks Petal, I really appreciated your thoughtful post.
I am mostly over the hump. I had a really sick stomach yesterday coming home from work, maybe some residual stress. I feel better in general though. Week in work was good overall. Meeting a friend now for yummy dinner and going to musical bingo after. Will have a few drinks but at least it will be in a sociable way.
Thanks LaMa.
Thanks Petal, I really appreciated your thoughtful post.
I am mostly over the hump. I had a really sick stomach yesterday coming home from work, maybe some residual stress. I feel better in general though. Week in work was good overall. Meeting a friend now for yummy dinner and going to musical bingo after. Will have a few drinks but at least it will be in a sociable way.
Hi guys. In musical bingo, instead of numbers, you have the name of the artist and song on your card and you mark them when the song plays. It was quite fun, I won a voucher for a free cider and chicken wings.
Feeling a bit blah, so I've decided the only thing that will make me feel better is to tidy my room. I've been putting it off and off and the weather is absolutely dreadful, so it's time. Went to a meetup for a couple of hours earlier, it was only okay, but it was good to get out of the house. Not much else to report.
Feeling a bit blah, so I've decided the only thing that will make me feel better is to tidy my room. I've been putting it off and off and the weather is absolutely dreadful, so it's time. Went to a meetup for a couple of hours earlier, it was only okay, but it was good to get out of the house. Not much else to report.
Hi guys. The tidying was done but I felt completely out of sorts yesterday, sort of like an animal in a trap, so I took off yesterday evening and went to the cinema.
Got to work today and I got absolutely fantastic news, really put a spring in my step. So things are looking up once again. Slowly, slowly things are improving for me. Now I just have to find a boyfriend.
Got to work today and I got absolutely fantastic news, really put a spring in my step. So things are looking up once again. Slowly, slowly things are improving for me. Now I just have to find a boyfriend.