Emily Rose: The Reboot

Thanks for the positive vibes guys.

I got my laptop and car back with no trouble. Thank God!

Rest of the week has been great, so happy at the moment. Work is going fantastic and I am liking being back home for the most part. It's Friday night and I would love to have a few glasses of wine but I am better off without them.

Have yoga booked in for Saturday and Sunday morning and a fun cinema meetup and probably my meditation group on Sunday afternoon/evening. So a nice, relaxing weekend ahead.

Jenni, I will resume my workbook stuff tomorrow, it just takes a bit of time each evening and I don't feel like it tonight. But I know that it is very worthwhile.

Right. Going to chill out now, watch The Walking Dead and get an early night. Have a good weekend all!
 
Your weekend sounds full of awesome. Happy to read you are doing good stuff for yourself! I used to be a WD fan too, but after they killed off Carl, I just couldn't do it anymore!!!
 
Hey Jenni, I'm on the second episode of season 3, still really enjoying it. Rick has gone off the deep end.

I'm in a funny mood. Singing to myself, deep in fantasy land... Really motivated to shed the weight again, as I am crazy about someone I see most days. I've learned though that even if you think someone is 'perfect' for you, there will be somebody else along again that will also fit the bill. I don't think I believe in the concept of soulmates. I've definitely met so many guys that I think I could have been very happy with. If I could ever allow myself to be happy that is!

But anyway, I feel like I'm getting my mojo back, it's been asleep for too long. There's a 23-year-old in the cinema group who texted me after the last meetup to say he would like to meet again. I was flattered but I think 9 years is too much of a gap. Still, it would be amazing if there was someone there today that I really clicked with. I need some love!
 
Yay for reappearing mojo! I´d say 23 y/os and 32 y/os are just about on each other´s creep boundaries. It could just about work but unless the chemistry´s bloody amazing right away it´s probably not worth the effort.
 
9 years is a big gap, there is a 7 year gap between myself and my husband and while we are very compatible there are age related differences. I think Maria is right.
 
Thanks for the feedback guys, he didn't go anyway, so it's all good.

Right, going to start tracking again.

SW: 178.3 GW1: 168
BF: 40.6%
BMI: 26.7

Food:
1. granola, cornflakes, 1 weetabix, milk; revitalise herbal tea
2. 1 chocolate shortbread biscuit; coffee & milk
3. potatoes, roast potatoes, carrots, broccoli, roast lamb, gravy; coffee & milk
4. apple crumble, viennetta & cream; coffee with milk, cream & cinnamon
5. 2 chewing gums; chamomile tea

Exercise:
50 x 20 m laps in the pool

Cigarettes: 3

Mood:
Very despondent tonight, don't know what's wrong with me. I hate having such a high body fat percentage and BMI. Pissed off.
 
Ignore the numbers, Em & keep on making small changes to your lifestyle. I love that you are swimming. 50 laps? Good for you! xoxo
 
Thanks Cate.

I think the Universe heard my frustration because after many weeks, the scales finally moved.

CW: 175.7 (-2.6) GW1: 168
BF: 40.3% (-0.3)
BMI: 26.3 (-0.4)

It's amazing how much closer to goal weight 1 I look already.

Food:
1. 2 weetabix, cornflakes, blueberries, milk; glass of orange juice
2. fruit scone with jam, cream & butter; 2 x coffee & milk
3. sea food chowder, 4 pieces of brown bread & butter; 3 arancini balls with sauce; coffee & hot milk
4. 11 sour cream & onion pringles; tea & milk
5. 1/2 shop-bought egg salad sandwich; peppermint tea

I had a work meeting and lunch, hence the scone and arancini balls. I wouldn't go for them again actually.

Exercise:
HIIT class. Killer.

Cigarettes: 7. Double killer.

Mood:
A bit sore after the workout. My day was pretty good. I am so ready for sleep now, it's unbelievable. Since I moved home, I am able to switch off so much faster. It's great.
 
Thanks LaMa.

So, I was driving home in the car this evening from work, and the idea popped into my head that I should write down 20 things I want to do in 2019. Even if those things seem too expensive/impossible right now. Then at the end of the year, I can look back on my list and see how many of them I ticked off and if the exercise was a success.

I'm not going to think too hard on this one, just the first 20 that pop into my mind. Then I can check in throughout the year and maybe start planning how I can make them happen.

20 Things I Want to Experience in 2019:
1. Act in a play.
2. Act in a film.
3. Buy a new car.
4. Have a relationship with an amazing guy.
5. Go to see Ray LaMontagne live in concert.
6. Go on a holiday to a romantic and sunny place.
7. Live life as a non-smoker.
8. Be my perfect weight and in fantastic health.
9. Write a book.
10. Find the perfect house for me to live in.
11. Spend more quality time with friends.
12. Learn 5 new pieces for the piano.
13. Join a tennis club and get back into playing tennis regularly.
14. Try surfing again.
15. Get into the habit of doing a cleanup of my room/home every week.
16. Meditate and attend yoga classes regularly.
17. Go on loads of dates.
18. Fall in love.
19. Have a bath/beauty regime evening once a week.
20. Be kind and loving to the great people in my life.

Okay, so this is the first 20 things that came to mind. Some of them kind of overlap, some I'm not sure are even possible. I didn't include the things I have finally got sorted - visiting the dentist regularly being one. Haha, maybe that's the only one. But still, it's a start. ;)

There probably could be some stuff about volunteering in there and I do want to get involved in some kind of environmental group at some point, but maybe those are things that I will get into in the future. I don't want to overwhelm myself.

I'm not sure how possible a lot of this stuff is - if I do it all, I will have a very busy year! But it's fun to put it all down anyway.

Ended up staying for an hour late in work talking to handsome, lovely work colleague - sigh. He's making it very hard for me to not like him. What's a girl to do? But anyway, it's the weekend, happy to be home now and chilling out for the evening. Going Secret Santa shopping tomorrow and then hopefully meeting up with the gang of friends tomorrow night for some Christmas brandies. Very exciting. Okay, that's it for now. Have a nice weekend all.
 
I'm exhausted just reading that list, Em.
Have fun with your gang of friends on Sat (today here) & beware of said handsome lovely work colleague who I think already has a girlfriend. Whoops- Nana Cate again!
Enjoy your weekend, Em xo
 
What I like about spontaneous lists like yours is that they give you a pretty good idea of what areas in your life are important for you right now - I think that's more important than the exact wording. Kudos for your openness, that takes courage.
 
Thanks LaMa.

Had a really annoying incident last night. I was out with my friend Claire, her boyfriend Rob and his group of friends. Rob is normally really loud and boisterous and I just thought he was a lot more muted than usual. I said it to him later on and he said he was getting into loads of trouble with things he was saying to people and went into that for a bit. Then out of nowhere, he said, 'Anyway, let's go back in, you're making me talking about things I don't want to talk about.'

I was kind of miffed, to be honest. I don't want anyone to feel like I'm 'making them' talk about anything. If he'd said he was fine and there was nothing up, I would have accepted that. Anyway, I decided the night was over at that point and went home. It's only minor in the grand scheme of things but I wish the night had ended on a better note.

I have to go into work today because I forgot to do something Friday (so annoying) and then I might do a quick look around for a diary for myself for next year. TK Maxx generally have the best ones.

I did my Secret Santa shopping yesterday. I'm making up a hamper for the girl I got, it's actually so cool. Mum is going to help me wrap it. She's a really nice girl and she helped me out a lot during the year so I'm glad that I can do something nice for her. At least my work friendships are going well!! I don't know how I'd cope otherwise.

I will also go for a swim and do some bedroom cleaning. But for now, one more snooze.
 
It's me again! I don't know if I have much to discuss this evening in the way of weight loss. I mean, it is still an interest of mine, but it is not really my focus right now. I have all sorts of notions about what the new year will bring. I know what needs to be done, I am just after getting ridiculously lazy and am doing zilch.

BUT... I will talk about some other stuff.

Did you know that Roald Dahl also wrote stuff for adults? I had a vague idea that he had one adult book, but it turns out that he was a prolific short story writer. I went to Waterstones this evening to look for a particular short story book by him, not realising it was one of several!

Anyway, I ended up spending a massive 18 euro on a short story collection of his covering the years 1954 - 1988 because the short story I was looking for was in it. The story is called The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar. There's a lot in there about yoga and meditation, it's well worth a read. Roald Dahl is a fantastic writer. I absolutely loved his books as a kid. I honestly thought I could be Matilda at one point and make objects move with my mind. He has a lot of stuff about the power of the mind in his books, that thought has only just occurred to me. Ahead of his time I think.

Anyway, aside from the Roald Dahl stuff, life has been up and down. This week has been hectic at work, had a fight at lunchtime today over a chair!, really delighted that the holidays are nearly upon us. I need a good long break. I feel like I've contributed a lot because we have a new system and I have single-handedly found loads of problems with it. I don't know if that is going to be recognised or acknowledged at some point, but I think it should be. Sometimes I think other people are half asleep. That's not me trying to make myself out to be amazing but I just don't understand the lack of engagement when things just got interesting. I really do get a kick out of working when I feel I can contribute. I like where I am right now.

I hate the fact that I always need to apologise for anything I say that I think people will take umbrage with or won't like. It's exhausting. I guess sometimes I read back on my notes and I sound really arrogant and I am maybe a little bit arrogant at times, but I would like to think that I have a bit more to me than just a big ego. (Edited to add: Which is exactly what somebody with a big ego would say! I'm doing it again!)

I also had my final meditation class this evening. I didn't want to go but it was so worthwhile. The teacher told us a little bit about why he got into it and it really struck a chord with me. He said he wanted to teach it because it helped him so much with the stuff he was going through. He's a really wonderful man. He asked me how I was and I started complaining about work. What is wrong with me, just smile and look pretty! How hard can that be!

I do think this yoga and meditation business is the way to go. Not in the kind of crazy way that some people get into it. They see it as another thing to be good at, which entirely defeats the purpose of yoga. I have been to some (in my mind) really bad yoga teachers who actually make you feel like shit when you can't do a pose. While other teachers always talk about taking it in your own time, rest if you need, but encourage you to drive on at the same time, because all that stretching and deep breathing is so good for you!!

I know that I am not a 'perfect' person. I never will be. But what I am really happy about is the fact that I am doing my best to have an interesting and informed life, and really sample all that it has to offer. It can be a lonely and sad road, but I think it will all work out in the end.
 
It seems to me that you are in a really good place at the moment, Em. I feel the same way. I still get revved up & over-excited, but that's me. Never apologise for being your authentic self. December hugs- xoxo :grouphug:
 
Okay, since I am nearly on holidays, I wanted to make out a Christmas gym schedule. I find hitting the gym daily is the best way to start shifting the pounds fast. I also really miss being in a good routine with it.

The Emily Rose Christmas Gym Challenge - Proposed Schedule
D1 - SAT 15TH - Spin and Abs (Wax/Meet friends)
D2 - SUN 16TH - Spin and Abs (Run/Meditation group)
D3 - MON 17TH - Abs and Spin (Work/Swim)
D4 - TUES 18TH - Combo and Spin (Hair/Christmas party)
D5 - WED 19TH - Legs, Bum + Core and Pilates (Reception/Yoga)
D6 - THU 20TH - Rest day (Training all day - if I can fit something in, I will)
D7 - FRI 21ST - Spin and Abs (Run/Swim)
D8 - SAT 22ND - Spin and Abs (Run/Swim)
D9 - SUN 23RD - Spin and Abs (Run/Friend's pre-Christmas gathering)
D10 - MON 24TH - Run/Swim
D11 - TUE 25TH - Run/Swim? (Not sure when pool closes)
D12 - WED 26TH - Run/Swim
D13 - THU 27TH - Gym/run/swim
D14 - FRI 28TH - Gym/run/swim
D15 - SAT 29TH - Gym/run/swim
D16 - SUN 30TH - Gym/run/swim
D17 - MON 31ST - Run/Swim
D18 - TUE 1ST JAN - Yoga (if on)/run/swim

And then I'm back to work. All of this is subject to change, especially over the Christmas. I will probably have more on than what I have here. But this is the basic plan. It's nice to write things down. Makes them feel more possible.
 
Okay, time for update on the challenge so far.

D1 - SAT 15TH - Spin and Abs (Wax/Meet friends)
Success with all of the above. I really enjoyed my gym class. The wax wasn't too bad because the girl that does it for me is so nice. I love chatting to her, so it makes the whole experience somewhat bearable. I met friends, met a guy (!), it was a good night.

D2 - SUN 16TH - Spin and Abs (Run/Meditation group)
Nothing was achieved because of the night out. The man I met is texting me though, so that's cool. He was nice, his main passion in life is mountain climbing. I don't know if anything will come of it, finally learning to lower my expectations. I'm happy with whatever happens really. Just going with the flow over here. I'm finally learning.

D3 - MON 17TH - Abs and Spin (Work/Swim)
I went to a yoga class this evening instead, my stomach is a bit funny so I didn't feel like the gym. I have my Christmas party tomorrow night, really looking forward to it. Things are very good right now.
 
Em, going with the flow.....I like it :) xoxo
 
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