Emily Rose: The Reboot

I am also completely skint! The paiiiiin. Does mean no ciggies for me either and none of my beloved wine :( food plan looks good my lovely - good luck for the week!
 
Thanks Cate.

Thanks Tri, I really hope so.

Hi Sunflower, yeah, the no money thing has lost its charm bigtime.

30 Days to Go:

1. How did today go?
Shitty, shitty day. Well actually, the first half of the day went great, I went for a little walk, the sun was shining. Decided to go home for dinner, had really unpleasant conversations with my parents, really stressed out and worried now. Came home and my housemate is also in foul humour, the day took a nosedive pretty quickly. It's hard to stay strong when you're swimming against the tide, that's how I feel today.

2. How was your food and exercise?
Didn't do any proper exercise today.

Food started out okay, ended up eating my feelings, 29 days left to stamp out this stupid habit!

- apple; coffee and milk
- lemon yoghurt whey protein powder with banana, raspberries, spinach and milk
- baked salmon with tomato relish, baked tomatoes, courgette, asparagus, fine beans and potatoes with oregano, boiled carrots
- coffee and milk
- wagon wheel; digestive biscuit; shortcake biscuit
- 100g bar of Milka (the feeling-sorry-for-myself chocolate)
- tea and milk

Cigs were 11. Yep, found money so spent it on them. Sigh. I'm more interested in getting my diet sorted first, then we will tackle them.

Weight: 11 stone 4 3/4 pounds
Body fat: 26.7%. I'm actually pretty happy with my body fat. Not too bad, well within 'acceptable'. Goal is to get it into the fitness range, which is roughly 21-25%.

3. Are you any closer to reaching your goals?
Well, have the interview tomorrow. Apparently, the people in there are absolutely lovely, it's out in the countryside as well, I don't know, I think it could be really cool.

Back to the drawing board with the diet again. Also, need to get the exercise train a-tooting.
 
Day was far better Cate, thanks.

May 2nd amendments: 13 cigs in total. Cup of manuka honey, chamomile and lemon tea.

29 Days to Go: Challenge Accepted

1. How did today go?
Well, I had a great day overall. The sun was shining and things have started moving in a really positive direction again. My uncle called for tea this evening, I haven't seen him in a while, so it was really nice to catch up. He said I was looking great, I never get tired of hearing that! :D

2. How was your food and exercise?
Between the interview and visiting home, I didn't make time for exercise today. Need to seriously get on it.

Food wasn't fantastic, but it is what it is today.

- porridge, raspberries, flaxseed, milk; coffee and milk
- whey protein banana powder, milk, spinach
- toasted sandwich with butter, ham, rocket, relish, goat's cheese, tomatoes; 5 oven chips
- tea and milk x 2; coffee and milk; wagon wheel
- slice of white bread with butter and a banana
- 2 slices of apple tart and cream
- white tea

Weight: 11 stone 4 1/2 pounds
BF: 26.8%

3. Are you any closer to reaching your goals?
I went for the interview and I realised that the job isn't for me. For one thing, location, for the other, 45 hour weeks for low pay. It wouldn't be worth it, I wouldn't even have time for exercise really. So, I rang the recruitment agency lady and told her all this, and she said there is another job opportunity that I might be suitable for as a marketing administrator. Marketing is one area I've always had an interest in because it's very creative, so I am so excited about this. I really hope it works out. I have hope again though, that's the main thing. And my parents and I are back on great terms, it's super. So, overall, a very successful day.
 
cate said:
I'm pleased about that hon xo
Click to expand...

Oh, so am I.

May 3rd update: 13 cigs. Bad, bad Emily. Tea and milk.

28 Days to Go: Data Overload

1. How did today go?
Well, I woke up at 9, which was the time I was meant to be at work! I live close to the place thank God, but what a terrible start to the day.

Later on, I found out I failed the tests for the potential job I want. I am raging because she sent me on the tests in the first place with all the answers already filled in. I had spent the weekend puzzling over them because I couldn't see what needed to be done. Then when I told her she'd sent me on the answers, she didn't even bother apologising or anything. Then she sent me on new tests, with some of the old tests thrown into the mix, and a harder, more technical test in there as well. So I feel completely hard done by now with the fact that I didn't pass them.

I actually can't understand what happened, as I did so much research into the bloody website and help pages because of the mix-up that I thought I'd done really well. So frustrated. I've asked her for feedback. If she doesn't come back to me tomorrow, I'm complaining to her manager. (If I had failed the tests first day, the right tests, I would be able to accept it, but the fact that the whole thing was a shitshow from start to finish, I want answers. And someone's head on a platter.)

2. How was your food and exercise?
Going playing tennis now in 10 minutes, so at least I'll have done something this week.

Food was all over the shop because I woke up too late for breakfast.

- coffee and milk x 2
- fig roll
- scrambled eggs
- bowl of fruit and fibre with milk
- tea and milk
- happy hippo; Reese's nut bar
- grilled salmon with salad of tomatoes, mixed seeds, courgette, peppers, spinach, feta cheese

Will try not to eat too much more today. Probably have some tea in a while.

No time for the weigh-in this morning so don't know how I'm doing today.

3. Are you any closer to reaching your goals?
No word back on the marketing job either. I'm panicking slightly. I am working tomorrow (unexpectedly) so that's good. At least I'll have a little bit of pay next week. But right now, I need a job. So annoyed about the writing tests, just so fucking annoyed.
 
Abandoning set format for today - just want to give a brief update.

I am starting my new job on Monday! It is at least for a few weeks, if I do well, it could lead to a permanent position! Thrilled!

Had a lovely day hanging out with a friend I used to work with a couple of years ago. It was so nice to see her and catch up.

Food/exercise are non-events for the weekend, but new job, new start! Onwards and upwards. :cheers2: :D
 
Thanks Tru.

Smoke-free day today, very happy with that. I am super tired. I feel like a new chapter of my life could be beginning tomorrow, it's quite exciting.

Exercise plan for the week:
Monday - 5k before starting new job
Tuesday - Morning gym (kettlebells and Rip 60)
Wednesday - Yoga after work
Thursday - 5k
Friday - Morning gym (accumulator)
Saturday - Morning yoga; 3 friends visiting
Sunday - 5k

I think it's realistic and doable.
My cigs goal for the week is no smoking until Saturday. I have no money now until Tuesday, so it's going to be 2 days anyway. Which is a start.

Diet plan for tomorrow:
- porridge, milk, dried fruit, flaxseed
- banana
- chicken and avocado salad
- natural yoghurt
- salmon, potatoes, broccoli
- 1 coffee, 1 tea, the rest herbal

Let's see how far I can take this.
 
Thanks hon. Switching around has been great training.

1. How did today go?
So exhausted now. Learning new things is very tiring. It wasn't a bad start really - the hours couldn't be better and the girls in the office seem nice. It won't be as hectic as my last job, but maybe this is just what I need for now.

2. How was your food and exercise?
Got up this morning and did a 5k run. Hadn't gone running in a while, it was relatively easy so very happy with that.

Food has been great, but I've been hungry, so I snuck in some chocolate and things. My goal with food this week is to eat all the healthy stuff I've planned, but not panic too much if I have some extras.

- porridge, flaxseed, cinnamon, milk
- chicken salad with lentils, tomatoes, courgette, spinach, feta cheese, peppers
- banana
- natural greek style yoghurt
- cooking grilled salmon, broccoli and potatoes now for my dinner

1/2 juice of lime and water, 1 coffee, 1 tea, 1 green tea with lemon, 1 lemon and ginger tea

Extras: Drifter bar, maoam sweet

Will update tomorrow if there's any more.

3. Are you any closer to reaching your goals?
- Back on exercise train and cooked all my main meals today.
- Not one man where I work so that could be a setback.
- Job security still uncertain but I hope it works out.
 
Feeling a bit sad today. I went home and just started crying to my mum. She met a friend of hers today who was asking about me, and the woman said it sounded like I'd been through a really tough time (there's a bit more to it than what I post here) but that she feels like good things are going to happen for me. When my mum told me that story, the tears just started flowing. Someone understands!

I'm not really sad about anything, I think it was just tears of relief. It's been a rollercoaster of a time, there's finally a chance now of some breathing space, but I just feel a little bit spent.

I really want to get healthy, I really do, but I'm still making poor eating decisions every day. It's disappointing.

On the plus side, I went to the dentist today, no work needed and my teeth are shiny and clean and white. :D
 
Aw, thanks Sunflower. You get it! :)

Today is extremely boring, had a manic day in work but it went a lot better than yesterday. I think the girls in the office will turn out to be sound. I feel like if I get to stay, my job might be pretty demanding, but I'm ready for that.

It's 17:40 and I've nothing to do for the evening. Food has been ok today but I feel really bloated and heavy. I hate this feeling.

I might walk to yoga later, not sure.
 
Hello.

I think I've settled into work - so, the lowdown is as follows:

I am on a rolling temp contract for the time being. The girl I am replacing just started in the job 2 months ago, but then she made loads of mistakes on something and the next day she rang in sick and she hasn't been back since. So basically, if she doesn't come back, I get her job.

The girl that she was working with is so lovely, she is someone I would probably be working with if I get on ok in the next few weeks, and I would love to work with her and learn about a completely different sector with different goals and all the rest. I know I can do the job; at the moment I am struggling way more than I thought I would with routine tasks. I think it's because I've always had soooo much time to work on different things, and now I'm suddenly under time pressure. It makes the day fly by though, which I love, and if I get in early enough, I can be home before half 4 every day. That is insane.

When I think of marketing people, I think of them as super-glam, high-maintenance kind of people and not particularly warm. I am none of those things.

On another note, years ago, I went for an interview for a receptionist job. I was 28 at the time. The woman told me she 'didn't see me as a receptionist.' I took that as an insult and I feel I have proved her wrong! I think you can be whatever you want to be. Maybe I wanted to be a receptionist as a result of that meeting, I don't know. (Different train of thought to the marketing thing.)

It's interesting, you have a degree, and people look down on you if you don't use it. Or maybe they feel you're wasting your time. I don't know. But what I've learned is that you have a much easier life if you have further education, unless you are trained up in a particular trade, where you can make amazing money and don't necessarily have to be book-smart. I mean plumbers, carpenters, builders - they all can have a great, comfortable income. (What do women do? I think it's realistic to say that the majority of women do not want to be builders. And the trades for women are beauty, fitness, etc. And I have seen their financial gains, and it's very hard to earn a living in it.)

But I know that there are people that are trapped in entry-level jobs and retail forever. If you are clever, you will always thrive, but there are people that just aren't going to push on. I don't even believe in pushing on, but I guess I've realised that if you are handed an easy wage and you can do it, your work environment is comfortable and you are able for the job, why spit on the hand that feeds you? And yet I feel guilty in some way.

I don't know, I guess I see how banal the whole thing is, and yet I have bills that even if I'm not actively doing anything I HAVE to pay, and that kind of pressure makes you see things as they really are.

Anyway, work going fine. One thing potentially off the list. Also very cute guy in the office today which helps.
 
New job sounds great! My first degree was in English Lit and I couldn't do anything with it apart from teach.. lots of regrets about wishing I'd done my social work degree first. I could have been qualified 5 years ago and on a decent salary/doing the job I love. Glad the job is going well for you - long may it continue! xx
 
Thanks Sunflower. Yeah, I think it will be good. I guess sometimes you have to do the wrong thing first to find the right thing. And the fact that your hubby is a writer probably puts that degree to some use!

Had a massive crisis in work today when a wrong letter was sent to a client who missed their appointment because of it. Finger was pointed at me as I've started sending out the letters this week (and they are confusing and overly complicated to send). Anyway, I did some detective work and the mistake was made before I started there, so big sigh of relief. I tried to explain that the girl who used to send the letters hadn't really made an error because that was the data she was sent but the woman on the phone wasn't really having any of it.

Seems like the type of environment where you get in major shit for mistakes, really don't like that, but at the same time, I'm ready to take them on. Ha. It's only a job.

I have a friend visiting tomorrow, the other 2 cancelled which is really annoying but it should be fun anyway. We'll probably watch Eurovision and have some drinks in the house, then head out for a while. I wouldn't mind if the whole thing was cancelled in a way, feeling a bit blue this week. It happens. I think it's just mental exhaustion from all the new things.

Wondering why I didn't try harder to move away. I think if dream job came knocking again, I would take it. I don't know, just feeling lonely.
 
So, this post will be about Goal no. 2 'Hot Boyfriend':

So, I downloaded plentyoffish today, I just thought it was time. Got a good few messages, then a friend of my friend's brother who I have met a few times and was out last night sent me a message. Not sure what to do. He's very handsome (Italian!) but I also know he's a playboy, so not sure. At the same time, maybe I should just go for it? Hmm. Kind of flattered that he contacted me actually. He was in the bar last night and I thought he was checking me out - guess I was right. Agh! Plentyoffish is supposed to be fun and I'm already stressed out. Lol. If it was a really cute guy who wasn't already kind of in my circle, maybe it would be easier? Hmm, not sure about this one. Any advice good people of the forum?

In other news, because of this message, I decided that I had to know for sure if the guy I went on the superdate with still had any interest, so going against all my own advice, I texted him. The good news is that he rang me back straight away. The bad news is that he said he's not interested in getting into a relationship because he had a really bad breakup not too long ago, etc. That's true, he did, and I could tell that even when we were together. But I just really like the guy! I'm very disappointed. Anyway, we have a lot of mutual friends, so he said he'll probably be in town in the next few weeks and we should all meet up as friends. I would find that a bit tricky, but at the same time, if it actually happens, I would love to meet him again, as I just really find him so much fun to be around, and all those great things you look for in someone. Hmm.

Anyway, I am going to use this potential meeting as a real motivator to get my shit together for the next few weeks. I want to get fitter, I want to start eating better, and I WANT TO QUIT SMOKING.

I did 2 days last week of no smoking - I'm going to aim for 4 this week and even if I cave on Friday, that's ok. I have such a bad cough, it's really annoying and I've so much gunk in my lungs. I don't like feeling this way. So this is really becoming a top priority (finally).

I know I should want to be fit and healthy for me and not to make some man change his mind about dating me (which probably won't happen anyway). And it is for me really. But I guess this is just the extra carrot I need to finally implement the plan.

Sad that things have panned out this way but I actually have a lot of hope for goal number 2 at the same time. Maybe not by the end of May, but stranger things have happened.
 
Very upset after my phone call yesterday. Upset with my friends again. Also, it's raining. Pathetic fallacy in action.
 
Such a shame about that guy, flower. I'm sorry. He sounded like he was really nice.. Is it that phonecall that's upset you? What have friends done? Meeting up as friends will be difficult.. I wish men would be a bit more transparent from the get go.. having a snog/overnight visit when you've not really been clear about what you want just leads to a lot of confusion..
 
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