Emily Rose: The Reboot

Yeah, it's desk-based, but you're interacting with people all day, which usually energises me.

I didn't find a friend on Wednesday but I did last night.

Depressed that Peter never texted me. I guess I just have to accept it but it's really disappointing. I hate checking my phone every 5 minutes. I want to just not care.

Going out with some of the girls tonight to see my favourite local band, so that should be fun. Another really good friend that I used to work with and haven't seen in a few years is going to make a day trip down to see me in a few weeks, really chuffed at that and looking forward to it. And 3 more old friends are staying the following Saturday. So life is pretty good in terms of reconnections.

Can't wait for work to be over. Been a disastrous week in terms of exercise - not having a car has been a disaster. Need to start all over again on Sunday.
 
It's great that you are reconnecting with friends Emily. Hope you had a fun night seeing your favourite local band. I love going to hear live music. It's energising. Enjoy your weekend xo
 
Hi Cate. Yeah, I had fun. Unfortunately for this poor woman, the room was roasting hot and she fainted and bashed her head on the ground. She was carted off in the ambulance. The band said she was okay though. Very dramatic stuff.

The two girls I was out with last night are two very pretty, lovely women and the three of us are all in the situation where there's some man only half interested texting us when it suits. It's so annoying! Why are men such losers sometimes? It's so unfair to only text someone sporadically. Don't they have hearts? :( The dating game is a fucking minefield. But when I was hanging out with Ciara and Jess last night, I was wondering why the hell we have this need to cling on. I mean, I think I'm still a bit of a mess, but the two girls are emotionally stable, gorgeous women and these lads are just messing with their heads. Anyhoo. Like, I was kind of thrilled about this because I love compliments, but the barman last night told me he would serve me a drink last night after last call because I was hot. What am I going to do when I'm old and men aren't nice to me just because they like the look of me? Worrying.

Going to watch a rugby match later with friends. And try to get an early night. Must start doing a proper food journal again. I want to get fit!!!
 
Hello. I've had a day of self-reflection. I went for a really long walk. It felt great to be outside and just try to get my head together. When I came home, I cleaned up the kitchen and made a healthy lunch for tomorrow. I lit some candles and put some tunes on and danced around the living room for a while.

Anyway, I'm thinking about how to get to the next stage of my life. I'm still trapped in negative thought patterns that are leading to continued negative habits such as smoking, drinking, eating crap and not exercising, when all of those things are preventing me from getting what I want in life, which at the moment really is a boyfriend.

With all the chopping and changing of jobs I've had over the last few months, I've realised that a good career is not something I really give a crap about. As long as I have enough money to pay for the rent, my car, fun activities and the gym, that's all I want and need. Earning 100k a year is just not on my priority list anymore. I didn't like the career path I was on, so I'm just going to go with the flow with this and take the next job that will provide me with the money I need, but it doesn't need to be necessarily leading anywhere. I'm smart and get on well with people, I should always be able to get a job. But I'm not going to have this as my main focus ever again.

So that leaves the hot body and hot boyfriend. And the two are intertwined really. The kind of guy I want will not want me as I am now. Cos I'm just not treating myself right. I know I'm attractive and I could lower my standards and have a perfectly nice boyfriend easily enough. But I want a great guy who is smart, funny, handsome, interesting - and these guys have loads of women after them who are happy with themselves already.

I can't be happy with someone until I get to a place where I have dropped the bad habits and eating well just comes naturally to me. It just won't work.

So, I guess I have a choice. I don't know what's holding me back. There is nothing wrong in my life right now! I have a good base level of fitness, I'm young, the extra weight would be really easy to shift cos it's only 1 to 2 stone instead of the 4 extra stone it once was. I just guess I am avoiding the pain that change brings. And I can't avoid it forever.
 
Today was a pretty good day. I'm working away in the yoga place now, waiting for the next class to begin. The hot yoga guy is giving a class in my temp place of work tomorrow. Yoga is definitely following me around. Clearly, I need it.

Food was great and then I bought a packet of biscuits and ate them all. Just why?

My time in the place I'm working now is finished on Friday I found out today, so despite saying on here yesterday I wasn't going to focus on a job anymore, now I kind of have to. I guess it's more I'm dropping the 'hot' part of the job. Oh semantics.

In other news, how great is Lorde's new song?


I love the video as well.
 
Is he a "hot yoga" guy or a HOT, yoga guy? Yoga does seem to follow you around, doesn't it?
Keep reflecting Emily & keep moving forward. Hopefully, one day you will be less reliant on what others think & more loving about your self-worth. I can see you getting stronger. I'm glad you have realised that having a job that will bring you lots of money is not as important as a job you enjoy. That's a biggie xoC
 
Emilyrose said:
Food was great and then I bought a packet of biscuits and ate them all.
Click to expand...

That's on my bucket list to do, weirdly. I've never brought a whole pack and eaten in one sitting! I'm not a huge biscuit fan but want to get a pint of milk and just go through a whole pack of delish ones! What sort did ya get?

Hope today has been good :)
 
cate said:
Is he a "hot yoga" guy or a HOT, yoga guy? Yoga does seem to follow you around, doesn't it?
Click to expand...

It certainly does. Yeah, he's a HOT yoga guy. The class this morning was great.

Hi Sunflower, 8 chocolate covered cookie ones. If you are going to do it, don't eat much that day so you don't feel too sick afterwards. I actually didn't feel that ill afterward.

Today was fine but I've hit a slump this evening. My friend was asking me about the date (she's been away so I didn't get to chat to her about it) and then when I was talking about how great it was and how much I like the guy, I got really down, remembering that he hasn't contacted me at all and that being happy about it is just a waste of time. There's still a teeny tiny chance that he will get on to me when he comes back from holiday that I'm holding on to, but the whole thing is just really sad and upsetting me. Fuck.

On a brighter note, I am completely broke so I can't afford to buy cigarettes for the next 2 days. Or packs of chocolate biscuits or anything really. Yay. And I'm not going to borrow it this time.

Just remembered it's my dad's birthday today, I'd better give him a call. Back tomorrow.
 
cate said:
Happy Birthday Emily's dad! Hope you feel better after the call hon xo
Click to expand...

Ha, aw, that's cute. He was very grumpy on the phone, so the call wasn't great, haha.

Right! I've decided I need a short term goal to give me one final push as I am nearing the last month of my challenge. Month 5 was a month of serious progress - a job interview, a job offer, 3 weeks work, a date!, stable weight, but now it has all stalled again, so I'm going to give myself a new focus for the next 2 weeks and see where that takes me.

There is a 6-mile road race on in a couple of weeks that I really want to train for. I haven't ran that distance before (it's over 9k, my max has been 8) but I think if I knuckle down for the next few weeks, I will be well able for it. I think it will give me the exercise boost I need and really help me with my nutrition. The owner of the yoga centre asked me lately have I gone a lot since I started there - I really haven't, so I'm going to take advantage of the free classes and kill it with yoga also. This will also help to alleviate any possible injuries from the running.

I bought some tuna chunks in the shop there, going to make a super healthy lunch for tomorrow in work and really get on top of this thing. My diet is pretty much stable in that I have roughly 2 good meals a day and then the last meal is either chocolate or some other kind of rubbish. So, I'm going to go with the recommended 3 healthy meals and 2 snacks per day and do everything in my power to stick to it. I printed off a lot of nutrition stuff today - I know about it already, but sometimes just reading again what you should and shouldn't be eating makes your resolve stronger.

Alcohol/smoking are not going to be tackled, but if I'm training more, these will both probably be consumed less. It's just too much to include everything.

I'm also bringing back 3 questions but leaving out the daily weigh-ins. I will weigh in on Race Day. It would be great to be under 11 stone by that time and very possible if I stick to the food plan. I weighed in this morning at 11 stone 2 1/4 pounds, love makes me less hungry, so the date was good for that if nothing else. :) But yeah, a very encouraging number.

So yeah, this is my goal for the next 2 weeks and it should also help distract from the disappointments I've incurred lately.

Let's do it!
 
Hi Emily! It's a while ago! Good to read that you seem to be doing well! :)

Ha, it's confusing to have 3 measurement systems, but from what I get is that you lost about 5 pounds or 2 kg since starting this thread, right? That's great! And you first were a bit heavier right, 12 stone something I remember correctly. Btw I like to calculate my weight loss from my heaviest point; it's very motivating to think that I am 21+ kg lighter than that now (3 stone 4 1/4 pounds)). So for you that would mean that you (almost) lost a stone from your heaviest point, very nice!

Nice that you had a date! Sorry it didn't work out, but it's still pretty exciting, isn't it? :) I can relate to losing appetite due to love/anxiety due to dating... it's pretty effective. In fact it was a date that I had in December that got me losing weight again. It's nice to know that even if a date doesn't work out, that you can somehow use the experience to improve your chances next time. And (perhaps more importantly) to take better care of yourself and pursue your goals.
 
Hey Tri, glad to see you're back. My heaviest point was actually 14 stone, but that was a good couple of years ago now. I'd really have to get under 11 stone to feel like I'm actually losing weight. And yeah, the date was exciting, but the aftermath has left me blue.

Eric Sean, I am not very brave, but I'm trying to be.

1. How did today go?
It was okay.

2. How was your food and exercise?
Did a yoga class tonight so that was good.

Food was ok - had my usual porridge, raspberries, flaxseed and milk for breakfast. Tuna salad for lunch with 2 slices of toast and butter. Orange for a snack. Then I ran out of steam and had 2 bars of chocolate for dinner and half a sugar doughnut and piece of cookie at work. Had maybe two cups of instant coffee and milk, 2 cups tea and milk. Meh.

3. Are you any closer to reaching your goals?
I feel in bad form tonight. I'm finding my evenings really boring at the moment and I've completely lost interest in tv/movies/reading. Hmm. Guess I'll just go to bed early and attempt a run in the morning.
 
Thanks Cate. :grouphug: Right back at ya!

Very low key day today. I made a very healthy dinner of grilled salmon, potatoes and broccoli there, I needed a healthy meal big time! Very simple but tasty. I love salmon. I had scrambled eggs on a slice of toast earlier - also pretty good - but then had assorted sweets and cake throughout the day. Still, I'm always happy when I make a nutritious dinner.

Watched some hockey earlier with my housemate and his friend. His friend was so smiley and lovely, I really enjoyed chilling out with them. I'm feeling pretty good now.

Going for dinner with my parents, aunts and uncles tomorrow. It will be nice to see everyone again. My parents are collecting me so it's zero effort on my part really. I also have an interview for a receptionist job on Wednesday. My dad thinks it's a waste of my degree just doing receptionist work, but I'm really enjoying it for the time being and I need to take the next job I get offered. I figure I can peg away at it for the time being anyway, pay off my debts, then see what else I want.

I need another date soon! Weekend too boring without them. :)
 
Food and booze marathon with the extended family today. I can see where I get all my issues from. My uncle had a smoke after dinner and I really wanted to join him. Ah, it was great to see them all.

Last month starts tomorrow. Have no money and the fridge stocked with healthy food. I can do this.
 
Thank you so much Cate. You're so lovely.

Right. Let's plan out the week. Have absolutely no money till Friday, can't even afford cigs so this could be at least a 3 day streak without them. Then maybe I won't want any on Friday.

Also have no money for junk food but have a fully stocked fridge and more or less all my meals planned out for the week.

My main schedule will be:

Tues - Run 5k; Pilates
Wed - Run 5k; Kick ass at job interview; Yoga
Thu - Work; Gym either before or after
Fri - Running club or 5k run; Yoga
Sat - Run 5k; Friend visiting for day
Sun - Gym; Yoga
Mon - Hopefully start my new job!; Gym

This week is going to go great, I just know it.

Food tomorrow:

- porridge, raspberries, flaxseed, milk; coffee and milk
- 3 oatcakes and peanut butter
- lentil, broccoli and courgette soup
- protein powder, avocado, spinach, banana shake
- potatoes, grilled salmon, broccoli
- herbal tea

Let's see how we go.
 
Your food tomorrow sounds great Emily! Well done hon on having a well-stocked fridge & planning your week. I hope it goes really well for you. All the best with your job interview xoxo
 
I hope that you will reach a weight under 11 stone soon then! Your plan looks good, it should help you get there! :)
 
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