Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- Thanks Cate.
- You'll love being back LaMa!
Day 2 - Christ, You Know It Ain't Easy
Weight: 194.6 lbs - BF: 43.1% - BMI: 29.6
Food:
- oat bran, raisins, chia seeds, milk
- coffee & milk; slice of toast & butter
- cappuccino; fry's chocolate cream
- roast lamb, roast potato, potato, carrots, green beans, red cabbage, gravy
- dairy milk 95 g
- just breathe tea; 24 jaffa cakes
Exercise:
- Tennis 1 hour
Cigarettes: 5
Notes:
Today was more or less awful. I felt like I was spiralling out of control without nicotine so I just bought them. My mother was not in good form, we had a fight, I feel really guilty now. It's just incredibly upsetting and draining to see her like this. She has a good day, then she has a terrible day. I just didn't have the patience for it today.
Tomorrow, I hope to wake up and practice some yoga before work. I am playing tennis with my dad after work. I am not enthusiastic about how my life is right now.
- You'll love being back LaMa!
Day 2 - Christ, You Know It Ain't Easy
Weight: 194.6 lbs - BF: 43.1% - BMI: 29.6
Food:
- oat bran, raisins, chia seeds, milk
- coffee & milk; slice of toast & butter
- cappuccino; fry's chocolate cream
- roast lamb, roast potato, potato, carrots, green beans, red cabbage, gravy
- dairy milk 95 g
- just breathe tea; 24 jaffa cakes
Exercise:
- Tennis 1 hour
Cigarettes: 5
Notes:
Today was more or less awful. I felt like I was spiralling out of control without nicotine so I just bought them. My mother was not in good form, we had a fight, I feel really guilty now. It's just incredibly upsetting and draining to see her like this. She has a good day, then she has a terrible day. I just didn't have the patience for it today.
Tomorrow, I hope to wake up and practice some yoga before work. I am playing tennis with my dad after work. I am not enthusiastic about how my life is right now.
Cate
Long term member
But that changes often, Em. One bad day does not a shitty life mean. I looked at that last sentence & thought it looked like a bad Yoda quote but decided to leave it there anyway. Tomorrow is another day etc.....
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey it has been a while, no post since Sunday. I hope your life is feeling better.
Have you tried patches or even vaping to help with the nicotine thing?
I know folks who have taken up snuff or chewing to satisfy the nicotine thing, maybe marginally better than cigarettes, but I don't see you going that way. I did some work on Guam years ago and the favorite amongst the natives there was to chew (really just hold in the mouth) leaf tobacco wrapped around a beetle nut. Made their teeth black. Tobacco is evil stuff...
Have you tried patches or even vaping to help with the nicotine thing?
I know folks who have taken up snuff or chewing to satisfy the nicotine thing, maybe marginally better than cigarettes, but I don't see you going that way. I did some work on Guam years ago and the favorite amongst the natives there was to chew (really just hold in the mouth) leaf tobacco wrapped around a beetle nut. Made their teeth black. Tobacco is evil stuff...
- Hi Cate. You are so right, I got over that bad patch. My week improved a lot after that. More on the rest below.
- Hugs always appreciated. You are very sweet, thanks LaMa.
- Hi Rob, thank you. I haven’t figured out a strategy for the abject misery that trying to quit smoking brings yet - but I will figure this puzzle out!
Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been hectic enough between settling into the new place, buying bits and pieces I need, watching The Boys (what a show!), visiting my parents and playing tennis 5 days a week.
I also got hacked today, so that was fun. Not. I really felt violated. They got into a food delivery app and tried to order 50 quid worth of booze and the whole thing just rattled me. I have the Metropolitan Police on the case! I’m not expecting much out of it but I just think the culprit needs to get some kind of wake-up call. I’m picturing a teenage hoodlum who got lucky. I don’t want him jailed, I just want a police officer to knock on his door and set him on a new path. Sigh.
New house is good, I played guitar with the new housemate on Friday. He’s around my age, very sound, spends a lot of time in the house, but maybe I am an anomaly at this stage for the amount of time I spend away from home. I almost feel guilty already for not chatting to him enough, but the thing is that I have had a full day talking to people and all I wanted to do when I got home this evening was chill out in my room and decompress.
I have a real problem with feeling the need to be ‘on’ all the time.
Weight has started to come down a little. Could be the feel-good factor of being out of that horrible environment finally. I’m also playing a lot of tennis, as I mentioned. I played poorly yesterday but the rest of the week was very encouraging.
Mum is still up and down, but we got over our fight and I watched the Eurovision with her and Dad on Saturday. She was in great form. I can see her coming back from this. I really can.
It’s Bob Dylan’s 80th birthday today. My favourite Bob Dylan song is probably this one:
Happy birthday Bob.
- Hugs always appreciated. You are very sweet, thanks LaMa.
- Hi Rob, thank you. I haven’t figured out a strategy for the abject misery that trying to quit smoking brings yet - but I will figure this puzzle out!
Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been hectic enough between settling into the new place, buying bits and pieces I need, watching The Boys (what a show!), visiting my parents and playing tennis 5 days a week.
I also got hacked today, so that was fun. Not. I really felt violated. They got into a food delivery app and tried to order 50 quid worth of booze and the whole thing just rattled me. I have the Metropolitan Police on the case! I’m not expecting much out of it but I just think the culprit needs to get some kind of wake-up call. I’m picturing a teenage hoodlum who got lucky. I don’t want him jailed, I just want a police officer to knock on his door and set him on a new path. Sigh.
New house is good, I played guitar with the new housemate on Friday. He’s around my age, very sound, spends a lot of time in the house, but maybe I am an anomaly at this stage for the amount of time I spend away from home. I almost feel guilty already for not chatting to him enough, but the thing is that I have had a full day talking to people and all I wanted to do when I got home this evening was chill out in my room and decompress.
I have a real problem with feeling the need to be ‘on’ all the time.
Weight has started to come down a little. Could be the feel-good factor of being out of that horrible environment finally. I’m also playing a lot of tennis, as I mentioned. I played poorly yesterday but the rest of the week was very encouraging.
Mum is still up and down, but we got over our fight and I watched the Eurovision with her and Dad on Saturday. She was in great form. I can see her coming back from this. I really can.
It’s Bob Dylan’s 80th birthday today. My favourite Bob Dylan song is probably this one:
Happy birthday Bob.
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They got lucky or the app has bad security. Either way I can see that it would rattle you!
Sounds like you're doing better with having stuff to do, things to work on, even if it means you need time to decompress after. If you're very lucky with your new housemate he might end up being someone you can decompress with. I've only met a handful of people like that in my life but they're worth their weight in perfect diamonds.
Sounds like you're doing better with having stuff to do, things to work on, even if it means you need time to decompress after. If you're very lucky with your new housemate he might end up being someone you can decompress with. I've only met a handful of people like that in my life but they're worth their weight in perfect diamonds.
Thanks LaMa. He is nice but I still very much like downtime without having to talk to anyone. I guess I’ve just got used to it.
The week has been improving. The weather was fantastic today and I went for a run after work for the first time in a while. It wasn’t too bad. I did have a pain in my head for the first kilometre or so, which I always imagine is a bad neural pathway being severed with the endorphins that running brings, so it’s all good.
I have a pain in my knee for the very first time, which is not good. I only get it when I bend down to tie my shoelaces or something but it’s something to watch. It didn’t affect my run, thank God. But it’s a reminder that I need to start losing the excess weight I’m carrying. It’s not getting me down per se, but I guess it’s a constant frustration that I am not able to shift it, despite being incredibly active and in a much healthier home environment. I will keep trying!
I was reading earlier that at one stage, Stephen King was over 230 pounds and it inspired him to write the novel Thinner. So there you go!
The week has been improving. The weather was fantastic today and I went for a run after work for the first time in a while. It wasn’t too bad. I did have a pain in my head for the first kilometre or so, which I always imagine is a bad neural pathway being severed with the endorphins that running brings, so it’s all good.
I have a pain in my knee for the very first time, which is not good. I only get it when I bend down to tie my shoelaces or something but it’s something to watch. It didn’t affect my run, thank God. But it’s a reminder that I need to start losing the excess weight I’m carrying. It’s not getting me down per se, but I guess it’s a constant frustration that I am not able to shift it, despite being incredibly active and in a much healthier home environment. I will keep trying!
I was reading earlier that at one stage, Stephen King was over 230 pounds and it inspired him to write the novel Thinner. So there you go!
I like that framing! And I'm going to try and follow your example of running after work today.
Did you go for your run LaMa?
Rainy day here, too wet to play tennis for me. It was annoying to skip club night but tennis is pretty miserable in the rain. The balls get really heavy and it’s hard to play. I played guitar and sang for a bit, then did some more unpacking (still two boxes to go!). I am loving the new place though, it feels like a real home. When we get our internet back next week, it will be even better.
I’m trying to adjust to the new housemate - I’m looking forward to when we just know each other and we’re over the awkward, polite stage. If he’s around tomorrow, I’ll be cooking a proper dinner and might have a few beers with him. Not too many, as I’m playing tennis at 10am on Saturday. Still working to get my drinking under control but I can see it getting better and easier in this house not to indulge in mid-week wine. What an insane habit to get into.
I got a response from my acting job application today! She said that they will let me know as soon as a suitable role comes up! Sounds promising, maybe? Good to get a reply anyway! I’m going to send good vibes and energy towards it. See the outcome you want and all that. If I even had a month off work to do an acting job, I would be beside myself.
Friday tomorrow, weather meant to be good for the weekend. I was in a relatively happy place today. Let’s keep it going!
Rainy day here, too wet to play tennis for me. It was annoying to skip club night but tennis is pretty miserable in the rain. The balls get really heavy and it’s hard to play. I played guitar and sang for a bit, then did some more unpacking (still two boxes to go!). I am loving the new place though, it feels like a real home. When we get our internet back next week, it will be even better.
I’m trying to adjust to the new housemate - I’m looking forward to when we just know each other and we’re over the awkward, polite stage. If he’s around tomorrow, I’ll be cooking a proper dinner and might have a few beers with him. Not too many, as I’m playing tennis at 10am on Saturday. Still working to get my drinking under control but I can see it getting better and easier in this house not to indulge in mid-week wine. What an insane habit to get into.
I got a response from my acting job application today! She said that they will let me know as soon as a suitable role comes up! Sounds promising, maybe? Good to get a reply anyway! I’m going to send good vibes and energy towards it. See the outcome you want and all that. If I even had a month off work to do an acting job, I would be beside myself.
Friday tomorrow, weather meant to be good for the weekend. I was in a relatively happy place today. Let’s keep it going!
Cate
Long term member
Your new place sounds like a really good fit for you, Em. I think you said you even have your own bathroom. That would be so much better. I hope something comes from the acting job application. Getting a reply should not be so surprising, but sadly is. It's nice to hear you are in a "relatively happy place". Me too today. Let's keep it going xo
Thanks LaMa. I think it’s important to put out there what I want to get back, even if a lot of the time, it seems like wistful dreaming.
I think ultimately, I would like to make my money from acting, writing and music. They are my three passions. Also tennis, haha, but that one is even more unlikely!
But, I am honestly delighted with how well I am playing. I played really well this weekend, won 2 out of 3 of my matches, and those 2 always won against me before. And this is me at a terrible stage of health!
Because yes, when I weighed this morning, I was obese. I’m upset about that. Being over 30 in BMI is crushing. Especially when I know my fitness levels are so good. I drank a lot this weekend, ate a lot, slept a lot, and played two hours of tennis in the hot sun and did a lot of walking with not a bother on me. I am burning every candle possible. Physically, I look fat but I have so much stamina. I feel strong, yet incredibly weak. It’s weird.
I also had a friend from the drama gang last night that I have had many a bottle of wine binge and cigarette smoking night out with who is also a fitness trainer and only a year older than me text me last night to say she got cancer last year. She is on the mend - but it really scared me. I have to make some changes.
I wanted to go to the gym tonight and I had no motivation. What is my problem? Obesity and the threat of cancer should be setting me into high gear. What will it take?!!
I think ultimately, I would like to make my money from acting, writing and music. They are my three passions. Also tennis, haha, but that one is even more unlikely!
But, I am honestly delighted with how well I am playing. I played really well this weekend, won 2 out of 3 of my matches, and those 2 always won against me before. And this is me at a terrible stage of health!Because yes, when I weighed this morning, I was obese. I’m upset about that. Being over 30 in BMI is crushing. Especially when I know my fitness levels are so good. I drank a lot this weekend, ate a lot, slept a lot, and played two hours of tennis in the hot sun and did a lot of walking with not a bother on me. I am burning every candle possible. Physically, I look fat but I have so much stamina. I feel strong, yet incredibly weak. It’s weird.
I also had a friend from the drama gang last night that I have had many a bottle of wine binge and cigarette smoking night out with who is also a fitness trainer and only a year older than me text me last night to say she got cancer last year. She is on the mend - but it really scared me. I have to make some changes.
I wanted to go to the gym tonight and I had no motivation. What is my problem? Obesity and the threat of cancer should be setting me into high gear. What will it take?!!
That must've been a shock! Motivation isn't always logical, sadly, and I've noticed before that things which ought to motivate me by threat paralyze me instead.
Yeah, I think the immediate reaction is to try to block it out.
I’m having a foot soak this evening with some Epsom salts in a basin, which I haven’t done in a while. Trying to rid myself of toxins, haha! I also bought these toxin patches online the other day that you put on your feet at nighttime - they’re probably a scam but their youtube ad caught my attention. Apparently, day 1 when you rip off the patch the next morning, the patch is black, but by day 7, the patch is clear! I’ll let you know how I get on with them. Lol.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- Oat bran, raisins, prunes, milk
- Apple, cashew nuts
- Falafel, avocado, spinach, celery, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers
- Fried hake with garlic, onions, broccoli, mangetout and pasta with pesto
- Coffee, tea, green tea, rooibos tea, mint tea
- Standard dairy milk bar
Exercise:
- Core class 30 min
- Run 5k
If I do all that, I will be back on track again.
I’m having a foot soak this evening with some Epsom salts in a basin, which I haven’t done in a while. Trying to rid myself of toxins, haha! I also bought these toxin patches online the other day that you put on your feet at nighttime - they’re probably a scam but their youtube ad caught my attention. Apparently, day 1 when you rip off the patch the next morning, the patch is black, but by day 7, the patch is clear! I’ll let you know how I get on with them. Lol.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- Oat bran, raisins, prunes, milk
- Apple, cashew nuts
- Falafel, avocado, spinach, celery, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers
- Fried hake with garlic, onions, broccoli, mangetout and pasta with pesto
- Coffee, tea, green tea, rooibos tea, mint tea
- Standard dairy milk bar
Exercise:
- Core class 30 min
- Run 5k
If I do all that, I will be back on track again.
Cate
Long term member
That does sound like an excellent plan, Em. Those foot patches caught my eye once & I almost bought them. I think we just need to stop putting those toxins into our bodies in the first place. How hard can it be? Bloody hard, as we know. I was once a smoker.
Here's to becoming healthy
(but with mint tea)
Here's to becoming healthy
(but with mint tea)
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Emily, thought it was about time I checked in on you. Your plan sounds good, did you manage it? 5 k run is certainly impressive to me. What toxins are you trying to get rid of?
Take motivation from where ever you can, as LaMa says it is a funny thing. To me just having motivation of any kind helps. My doctor has lost over 50 pounds since the first of the year, I asked him about it and he told me that he got COVID and ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. He said that he was near death and did not expect to recover. That was his motivation, and it does seem to have worked for him. Let's hope most of us don't need anything so drastic!
Bob Dylan is one of my favorites, always has been. Hard to imagine him turning 80. Here is my favorite:
Take motivation from where ever you can, as LaMa says it is a funny thing. To me just having motivation of any kind helps. My doctor has lost over 50 pounds since the first of the year, I asked him about it and he told me that he got COVID and ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. He said that he was near death and did not expect to recover. That was his motivation, and it does seem to have worked for him. Let's hope most of us don't need anything so drastic!
Bob Dylan is one of my favorites, always has been. Hard to imagine him turning 80. Here is my favorite:
Thanks to you all.
I’m playing some good tennis, it’s keeping me sane. New apartment is so fab, I’ve been looking around this week and thinking I couldn’t have imagined better.
I have a really strange tension between the fact that everything is coming up roses and I am still behaving as if I’m a drifter about to be shot every second. I had a terrifying dream this week that I was on a cruise ship stormed by assassins - I tried to navigate the buffet and bar temptations before realising I was being shot at. I managed to make it to my cabin before the realisation sunk in that they would come for me eventually...
I woke up and realised that my biggest problem is knowing that I’m going to die. That makes giving up vices so much more difficult.
‘We’re all gonna die’. Channeling Sufjan this evening.
I’m playing some good tennis, it’s keeping me sane. New apartment is so fab, I’ve been looking around this week and thinking I couldn’t have imagined better.
I have a really strange tension between the fact that everything is coming up roses and I am still behaving as if I’m a drifter about to be shot every second. I had a terrifying dream this week that I was on a cruise ship stormed by assassins - I tried to navigate the buffet and bar temptations before realising I was being shot at. I managed to make it to my cabin before the realisation sunk in that they would come for me eventually...
I woke up and realised that my biggest problem is knowing that I’m going to die. That makes giving up vices so much more difficult.
‘We’re all gonna die’. Channeling Sufjan this evening.