Emily Rose: The Reboot

[alligatorob]

Apparently you were posting as the same time as I.

Just one comment, you are of course an attractive woman. I guess I don't know much about your appearance, but I am sure its delightful. I would certainly be delighted to meet you in person. What I do know is that you are smart and articulate. You have a very attractive mind, and in the end that's longer lasting and more important than anything else. Don't sell yourself short lady!

 

[Cate]

Oh, Em. I'm so sorry that this work colleague has hurt your feelings once again. Work "relationships" can be so tense & exciting at the same time. It's like an alternate universe. I know there have been many times when you thought that he had strong feelings for you & I know that you did for him too. He has this other life. Just let it & him go. Work may be better without the sexual tension. Try not to be hurt, Em. Be yourself & keep moving forward.

 

[Llama]

It's disappointing to be in stagnation.

Tell me about it...

I would love if we could meet up in real life at some point. It would be so cool.

It may be a while before I make it to Tasmania (why do fun things have to cost money?) but Ireland has been on my bucket list forever. Planned to go and was obstructed 5 times

I think I am attractive at some level.

I'm 100% sure you are, even if you don't like posting pics. You have that spark.

 

[Milanica]

Hi Emily! I read your initial post and wanted to ask you have you achieved your goals? As far as I can see you found a job How about hot body? Although I agree with what someone said that all sizes can be attractive. Sorry if I'm to direct, want to get to know you and follow your journey.

 

[Emilyrose]

- Thank you so much Rob. Not really started in on the house hunt too much yet, I'm waiting till I get paid next week so I have the money to hand.
- Thanks Cate. I did tell him I was hurt today and we had a team meeting after where he revealed himself to be a bit of an asshole, so it's all good. I'm moving on.
- Thanks LaMa. I would love to meet you if you make it over.
- Hi Milanica! Well, I have a job that's probably a lot more suitable for me, I probably still wouldn't describe it as "hot". Hot body and hot man still nowhere to be found. But we live in hope, right?

Had a quite interesting day today. Very emotionally draining, but it was positive overall.

I told Work Colleague that he had hurt my feelings by not telling me he was leaving before the 'official' announcement. He said he'd been asked not to say anything and told the team as early as possible. Which is fine. We had another meeting today where he made some really mad comments - not just directed at me - but I guess the scales have been lifted from my eyes, and he's not really worth giving another thought about. Easier said than done of course. I get extremely emotionally invested in people, but that's something I have to learn to not do anymore, when I'm not getting that same emotion back. Anyway, bygones.

I said the day was positive overall - that's actually not entirely true. My mother rang me at lunchtime, and really upset me. She's not getting better and she wants to check herself into a psychiatric hospital. I told her I would support her in any decision she makes, but I was real with her. I told her as someone with a sleep disorder that sharing a room with someone that could have any affliction at all might not be great. The food won't be to her liking the way it is at home. I mean, even before she became ill in the head in the way she is now, she is a light sleeper and would complain about doors closing and movements up the hallway all the time. So to share with someone and live in a space where everyone is depressed and suicidal and has all sorts of horrible things going on in their lives might not be a good thing for her. I really don't know.

With Covid, we wouldn't really be able to visit her. I would be very worried about her. I think she should look for a new psychiatrist and see if they understand her a bit better. Her current person seems to be absolutely crap. She doesn't come away from talking with her even marginally better. We'll see, I guess.

The landlord texted me earlier to ask to meet on Wednesday. I don't know what kind of way to be with him. I'm going to be honest and say that I feel completely mistreated - after only just moving in, to be asked to leave again. Especially in this climate. Let's see... if I could stay, it would be amazing. I really don't want to have to look for another house again.

I have my first tournament match on Friday, looking forward to that! At least I have some fun stuff ahead too.

 

[Cate]

Yay for tennis, fingers crossed for staying in the flat, re your Mum & to your soon to be ex-colleague. Onwards & upwards, Em xo

 

[Llama]

This isn't the first time ex-colleagie has hurt your feelings either if I remember correctly. I'm glad you're done with him. I'm joining Cate in the finger-crossing for your mom!

 

[Cate]

Em, thank you so much for suggesting that I soak my feet in Epsom Salts. I spent most of today walking around our local “city” & I swear my feet were crying! After soaking them tonight they are currently sighing. Ahhhh…

 

[alligatorob]

Hey Emily, good luck with your mother, it must be hard on you and your father. A psychiatric hospital doesn't sound good to me, but my knowledge and experience is based only on TV and movies, don't suppose they are really much like what you see in One Flew Over the Coocoo's nest or Hannibal... Still figure out how to keep her home sounds better to me.

he's not really worth giving another thought about

That is right, people like that are a waste of our time and energy, the sooner forgotten the better. And if you really think about it there is no reason to value his opinions, none at all.

The landlord texted me earlier to ask to meet on Wednesday. I don't know what kind of way to be with him. I'm going to be honest and say that I feel completely mistreated - after only just moving in, to be asked to leave again. Especially in this climate. Let's see... if I could stay, it would be amazing. I really don't want to have to look for another house again.

I hope it is to let you stay on, it could be. The way I deal with meetings like this one is to act in my own self interest, and that usually involves being nice no matter what. Burning bridges is never helpful, and telling people off does you no real good, except perhaps short term. I reserve "standing up" to people for times I have something I want from them. Hope the meeting goes well for you!

Thanks LaMa. I would love to meet you if you make it over.

I also plan a one day bucket list trip to Ireland, never been but close, I have been to the UK and France many times. All for business, and never had business in Ireland. As I have told you my ancestry is partly Irish and I know more about the who and where of my Irish ancestors than any others, plus I think you have a beautiful and interesting county. If and when I do get there I plan to try and look you up, but if that wouldn't feel safe to you I would understand. Not that its in the near or even certain future.

 

[Emilyrose]

- Ah, that's lovely to hear Cate. Thanks for your well wishes.
- Thanks LaMa. She was a bit better the last few days. It's a rollercoaster.
- Thanks Rob. My dad used to work in a psychiatric hospital - while not 'movie' bad, they are still pretty grim. You are moving into an overwhelmingly negative environment, while she has every comfort and freedom at home. We'll see...

Well, I met the landlords today. They are really old, and I didn't have the heart to give them a hard time about everything. But... plot twist! My current housemate knew all along that they had their house for sale and were planning on moving here when they got a buyer. They just said the sale went through all of a sudden, which is often the way with these things.

So, I am currently outraged, because he's been making out to me that the whole thing was a huge surprise for him as well, even casting doubt in my mind that they really were moving back in here. What a spineless worm. In a way, I'm glad I won't be sharing a house with him anymore. I can't stand people who are not upfront with me. He's not here this evening, but I am 100% going to say it to him. He's made the whole situation so much worse than it needed to be. I just... I am so done with people. Everywhere I turn, there seems to be a new evasion or outright lie I have to deal with. Or just volatile behaviour towards me in general. Sigh.......................

My dad said I should just channel my energy into winning our first tournament game on Friday. I have a lot of heads I can imagine when I am whacking that ball, let me tell you.

Other than that hiccup, day went okay. Well, actually, my boss was incredibly rude to me when I tried to help someone on the team, as their report was inaccurate, and she said she doesn't care, as long as the results show the team in a good light. That to me is just beyond stupid. We have a meeting tomorrow that I have to do a load of prep for in the morning. It's probably the only thing that's stopped me burying my emotions in alcohol, to be honest. I also have to keep the game on Friday in mind. But yeah, I don't like feeling like this.

Anyway, going to bed early - things should feel better after a good night's sleep. Which I badly need. Jack Johnson says it best for me right now:

 

[Milanica]

I wish you a great night's sleep. Hope you will be refreshed tomorrow!

 

[Cate]

Your current house(not a )mate is a spineless little twerp.
Things can only get better xoxo

 

[Llama]

Your current housemate actively lied to you in order to avoid having to pay all the rent himself. Who would've moved in at full price if he'd told them the truth? That's not just spineless, it's deceitful.

 

[Emilyrose]

- I actually did sleep well, thanks Milanica.
- Thanks Cate. Today was worse. Haha.
- Yeah, I will get into it below, thanks LaMa.

The Confrontation
I had been stewing on this thing all day, which is not a good thing, so I was so relieved that my housemate was home when I got back from work, because if he wasn't, the explosion could have been far, far worse. I told him that our landlady had said that he was fully aware that they were trying to sell their house in order to move into this apartment once they got a buyer. He denied it, saying the landlord had 'mentioned in passing' that they were trying to sell their home, but he never made the connection that this meant they were moving in here. I asked him why would our landlady say that if it wasn't true. He said it might be to try to 'ease the blow.' His body language was incredibly defensive and I even called him out on having his arms folded across his chest. He said he had nothing to be defensive about and quickly dropped them. I was really in 'take no prisoners' mode. I think I have just had enough of other people's bullshit.

The Phone Call
So, I said, 'You'll be fine so, if I ring A and ask her about this.' He said, 'Yeah, go ahead, ring her.' I rang her. She said she was very disappointed in Housemate, as she had made it perfectly clear to him when every contract was being signed that this was on the cards. I asked her if she wanted to speak to Housemate. She said okay. Housemate denied on the phone to her ever knowing about it. He only knew they were selling their house. When he put the phone back on to me, she reiterated that she was telling me the truth and that Housemate had always known they were planning on moving back in.

The Deposit
I decided it was time to ask her when I would be getting my deposit back. She asked me how much of a deposit I had paid. I said I'd paid the former tenant 700. She said, 'Oh, well, the rent did go up, but the deposit never did. The deposit you'll be getting back is 1300 between the two of you." I told her I paid 700, that was the amount I expected to get back. She said I'd have to sort that out with Housemate, did he show me the contracts? Housemate all of a sudden brandished the contracts I'd never been shown. She repeated that the deposit being given back was 1300 between us. I reiterated that I want all of the money I have paid back. She said again that Housemate and I would have to sort it out.

The Asshole That Is My Housemate
When I hung up the phone, I explained what A had said about the money. I said that I wanted my full deposit back. He said he didn't like my sarcastic tone. He said I was jumping from one thing to the next - now I'm giving out about the deposit. I asked him how much of a deposit he paid. He said 655. I asked him where did the extra fiver come out of. He argued that now I was complaining about a 5 euro difference. I asked him why I paid more on my deposit. He said that the deposit was always a month's rent (more than the deposit A claimed she asked for). I asked him where did the surplus go? He said that the landlords never complained about getting the extra money. I don't know if that's true or if Housemate was just siphoning off the extra for himself. I reiterated that I want my full deposit back and they can sort it out between them.

Where I Am Now
I think it's clear that I am the injured party here and I sure as hell don't want to lose 50 euro to either my housemate or the landlords. I guess I was really shocked at Housemate's attitude once the deposit issue was brought up. He really changed. I don't think I should be left out of pocket from this mess. I'm at a loss as to what I should do next. Would it have been better to let the whole thing go and not mention what the landlady had said at all about him always knowing their plans? No, I don't think so. The deposit issue would have been a nice little stinker right at the end. At least that is now out in the open. I am so disappointed in Housemate. I really don't know who is lying about what, but they're all as bad as each other as far as I am concerned.

I can't believe I've gone from one nightmare scenario into another one. But, I think I am proud that I stood up for myself. It might not make any difference, but at least I've given Housemate some food for thought. If he is telling the truth, he was still a complete prick for being so militant about the money, when it is his decision to move out that is the instigator of this whole mess. If the shoe was on the other foot, I know in my heart of hearts that I would tell the other person that I'd sort the deposit side out with the landlords and not to worry.

The whole thing stinks! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Any budding Poirot's in the forum? Who should I believe?

(In my other life, tennis tournament tomorrow! Club night tonight, it was the saving grace from the cesspool that was my evening. I really hope we win! I need a win, goddamnit!)

 

[Llama]

Oof.

He said that the deposit was always a month's rent (more than the deposit A claimed she asked for). I asked him where did the surplus go? He said that the landlords never complained about getting the extra money.

Unless everything was paid in cash both between you and him and between landlady and him the money has a paper trail. And even if it was in cash I hope receipts exist (unless the whole situation was under the table, in which case you're screwed). But for what it's worth I'd remember my landlord casually mentioning they're selling their home and I'd wonder if that might impact my living situation.

 

[Emilyrose]

Thanks LaMa. I've decided that I will just keep the peace for the next couple of weeks but in the meantime, I will ring the tenancy board just to find out what's the best way of trying to get my full deposit back. I think maybe they could send a letter for me. No harm. I know the kind of people I'm dealing with now, but they will be a distant memory in only a month's time, so not going to get het up about it anymore.

Well! I played my first tournament this evening. We lost and I have a long way to go before I'm going to start winning matches, but it was really fun. We chatted with a few people afterwards and I really loved just being immersed in the tennis world and hearing about all the different people. One of the ladies who was volunteering there said she's a grade 3 but it took her 10 years to get there! That would be a good goal to have. That's the beauty of tennis - you can play well into your 70s and 80s if you're lucky. I intend to be lucky.

I didn't play that well today, but considering the week I've had, that's fine. I missed a lot of shots that I would usually get. But rather than be disheartened by it, it's really motivated me. I want to get good! I finally have some kind of direction in my life. Haha.

I also had a colleague come into the office today that I haven't seen in a while and it was just what I needed. I told her my whole saga, she told me her whole saga about sharing a house with her friend, and how the last few months before they went their separate ways were so tough. She was told she was 'really difficult' to live with, and her friend seemed to just be in a bad place and taking it out on her. I know this is terrible, but it kind of cheered me up. Not that she had to go through that, but that I'm not alone in these things happening. And it's actually common enough.

House-sharing is difficult. That is my closing argument.

 

[Llama]

House-sharing is difficult. That is my closing argument.

Absolutely. And it's good to have someone to talk to who has to deal with similar shit.

That's the beauty of tennis - you can play well into your 70s and 80s if you're lucky. I intend to be lucky.

Lucky but also careful with their body. I see a lot of older people who (used to) play tennis and there are definitely things you can do to increase your odds. Tennis is hard on the knees so stability work and quad strength are good, although less necessary if you start very young, always keep doing it, and don't suddenly increase intensity at some point. (Also, I hate to say it: weight management is big for knees.) It's hard on the shoulders even with perfect technique and coordination so relaxation plays a role if you want to keep doing it for 40+ years. Bad technique can absolutely kill your elbows (tendinitis) and make it hard to return to the sport even after the pain seems gone. I hate being a downer but it's kind of my job sometimes...

 

[Emilyrose]

I had a really good post written and it's gone. So annoying.

Thanks LaMa, I will take that on board.

Entered my first singles tournament today. So energised by the tennis, it's making me feel so good about myself. Had a really nice tennis match this morning with a woman I play with every Saturday. I really like her because she's so upfront and there's no bullshit about her. For example, at club night during the week, she gave me a scolding about my fear of the ball when I'm at the net. I really appreciated that. I liked that she wasn't afraid to say that to me. I need her to shake me out of it a bit. She won the first set very easily but I woke up a bit in the next one.

My lost post had a huge thing about my psychological development from playing tennis. Maybe it's better that it's gone. Haha. I think my main point was that people in my club probably think I am insane for signing up for all these tournaments when I am nowhere near the level you need to be at to win, and I'm like, 'Yeah, I'm doing it.' You have to put yourself through the fire to make the steel. I love the challenge of it all, I'm really buzzing.

I also know if I was sleeping properly, eating better and not smoking or drinking alcohol, my game would improve immensely. So I still have that card up my sleeve. If only they knew the half of the madness, haha!!

Anyway, I feel good about myself. I feel like the latest challenge with my latest challenging housemate has made me reassess other stuff from the past, and helped me find peace with it. Current Housemate described me as Hermione Granger. I'm okay with that. I have a strong sense of right and wrong and am a bit of a know-it-all. Haha. But I think I am doing what I can to be kind and a good person. But I'm also not going to be treated like shit and lied to and stolen from and let that slide. No fucking way.

 

[Llama]

Hermione got treated like shit by her peers (until they suddenly noticed how pretty she was) and still almost single-handedly saved the world while Harry and Ron were faffing about. There are worse role models to have...
I like that you're signing up for the tournaments! None of you are pros so who cares that you can't win yet; you're there to have fun.

 

[Emilyrose]

Thanks LaMa. I know what you're saying but tournaments are a different vibe to 'fun'. The games I play in my own club weekly are fun. There's a very different atmosphere when you've paid money to enter a competition. There's a very Irish (human?) thing of not wanting to disgrace yourself. But let's see how we go...

Things have resolved fantastically well and Housemate is going to take the 50 euro hit, and we are back on good terms for our final week together. So that's great. I hate being in conflict with people. That's why the last house was such a bummer.

Work is also going really well. We had a meeting with the MD earlier in the week, and he was kind of complaining that we're not showing him the figures he needs on a number of things, and set the tone for a quite difficult call. But I presented my part and he was laughing and very encouraging, and I don't know, it's just all going great! Helps that the figures are quite good, I guess. But I didn't get rattled really, even when there were a few tough questions, and I was delighted. Both of the other women on the call reached out to me afterwards and offloaded about different aspects of it (everyone is always so hard on themselves - FACT!), and I was happy to listen and give a bit of support and perhaps perspective. When did I become such a wise old owl, haha! But, I like that. I like that people feel they can trust me to listen and understand. And I was also proud of myself that I had not one single misgiving about that meeting myself. I know I'm doing the work, I put all my faith and confidence in that. I also don't really feel like I've anything to prove, in a way. And I also think because I have so many other balls I'm juggling, it helps not to get too invested in any one thing.

I have to start moving this weekend, which is annoying. I'm probably back home for a short spurt - between tennis and drama and work, I just can't give the time I need to looking for somewhere. I also have my car in the garage this week, rebooked the NCT on Friday and hoping to pass this time. So that's going to be a big enough expense for this month, besides trying to find a deposit and rent from this paycheck as well.

Weight is still chronic, but food hasn't been bad the last few days. I'm trying not to give myself too hard a time. I will get there, and doing better in the tournaments is a huge motivator. It might just take some time.