Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- Yeah, a great relief, to be honest LaMa. I have to think of a new name for the housemate I had the trouble with, because if I keep labelling her 'grumpy', that's what she'll be. She just said hi to me so that's a start.
- I know Cate. I've scrapped that idea. I hate being hungry.
- As long as I can play tennis again Petal, I'll be happy enough. I've decided that I'm going to visit home whenever I want to no matter what level we're at. The vaccine is definitely giving me hope.
I just ordered pizza - so hungry!!! It is my last hurrah before the start of a ''new plan''.
I did go for a 5k run this evening, which I'm really happy about. I intended to go yesterday evening, but I ended up giving up under 2km in because my ankles were hurting me. That's because of my stupid chair being too low when I'm working from home. Maybe I should rob one of the work chairs at this stage.
Anyway, the fact that I gave up really depressed me, so I decided to give it another shot this evening. There was one mini-disaster when I was taking off my hoodie and I dropped my phone, so I had to stop running completely, which I hate doing. I almost convinced myself that the 5k was ''ruined'' at that stage and gave up, but luckily, I ignored that thought and pressed on. Very happy with myself!
I've decided to give myself a year to reach my goal and I'm going to start tomorrow. I also have something in my head that I would like to have achieved in a year's time. I will keep it to myself for the time being, but I'm going to act 'as if' this is 100% guaranteed and has been promised to me already, and all I'm doing is preparing for it from now until this time next year. I don't know, it's kind of silly, but I think it might help me.
My basic 'rules' for reaching my goal are daily yoga, 500 calorie burn through walking, running, tennis, swimming, gym, etc. 3 healthy meals and 2 optional snacks per day. 1 coffee and 1 tea max per day. 2 slices bread max per day. 1 treat per week if I reach my goal.
This won't be easy, but I feel good about it. The run tonight has kind of encouraged me and helped put me back on the right track. Friday is a good day to start cos work is a bit easier as well.
In other news, OBSESSED with this song by Shawn Mendes. I know he's only 22 but he's so gorgeous. What a song. I had it on when I was running earlier and I felt so empowered. I love the kind of tribal/rainforest sound. Very nice work.
- I know Cate. I've scrapped that idea. I hate being hungry.
- As long as I can play tennis again Petal, I'll be happy enough. I've decided that I'm going to visit home whenever I want to no matter what level we're at. The vaccine is definitely giving me hope.
I just ordered pizza - so hungry!!! It is my last hurrah before the start of a ''new plan''.
I did go for a 5k run this evening, which I'm really happy about. I intended to go yesterday evening, but I ended up giving up under 2km in because my ankles were hurting me. That's because of my stupid chair being too low when I'm working from home. Maybe I should rob one of the work chairs at this stage.
Anyway, the fact that I gave up really depressed me, so I decided to give it another shot this evening. There was one mini-disaster when I was taking off my hoodie and I dropped my phone, so I had to stop running completely, which I hate doing. I almost convinced myself that the 5k was ''ruined'' at that stage and gave up, but luckily, I ignored that thought and pressed on. Very happy with myself!
I've decided to give myself a year to reach my goal and I'm going to start tomorrow. I also have something in my head that I would like to have achieved in a year's time. I will keep it to myself for the time being, but I'm going to act 'as if' this is 100% guaranteed and has been promised to me already, and all I'm doing is preparing for it from now until this time next year. I don't know, it's kind of silly, but I think it might help me.
My basic 'rules' for reaching my goal are daily yoga, 500 calorie burn through walking, running, tennis, swimming, gym, etc. 3 healthy meals and 2 optional snacks per day. 1 coffee and 1 tea max per day. 2 slices bread max per day. 1 treat per week if I reach my goal.
This won't be easy, but I feel good about it. The run tonight has kind of encouraged me and helped put me back on the right track. Friday is a good day to start cos work is a bit easier as well.
In other news, OBSESSED with this song by Shawn Mendes. I know he's only 22 but he's so gorgeous. What a song. I had it on when I was running earlier and I felt so empowered. I love the kind of tribal/rainforest sound. Very nice work.
You should be, great work! A good start to your new plan.
Thanks everyone.
I actually started today, as Friday I gave in and bought wine. BUT - I got a surprise text from SG yesterday and he wants us to go away for a night together in a couple of weeks, and by God, has that kickstarted the plan quickstep! I'm so excited about it, I just can't believe he suggested it. So I'm on a new 20 day plan to try to be looking and feeling as good as I possibly can for that night away.
I also realised that the lack of anything to look forward to has made me super-depressed, and this has cheered me up so much! So I need to start planning little goals or rewards every couple of weeks to help with my motivation.
Anyway, going to start tracking here every day. I would like to lose 20 pounds in 20 days. Hahaha. Let's see how we get on.
Day 1/20 - She's going the distance, she's going for speed...
Sleep: 10 hr 24 min - Sleep Score: 82
RHR: 61 - Cardio Fitness: 32-36 (average)
Weight: 193.6 - BF: 42.7% - BMI: 29.5
Today's exercise:
6km run (38:16) - 20 min walk - yoga online
Yes, I did a 6km run today, even at such a high body weight! It helps that the weather was beautiful. I was really proud.
Today's food:
- walnuts, blueberries and natural yoghurt
- ground coffee with milk; lemon cream slice
- beef bone broth; half vegetable quiche
- tomato and basil soup; slice of toast and butter; salad of pesto pasta, tomatoes, spinach, peppers and cucumber
- cacao and almond oat bar; tea and milk
I'm happy with my food day. Bone broth on its own is disgusting though - never again. I'll make it into a soup the next time. I would like to eat more now - I am not hungry but definitely could eat more sugar. I won't though. It's only 20 days.
I'm worried about tomorrow and the cigarette factor but the plan is to stay off them for the next 20 days. Let's see how I go. I'm not going to put crazy pressure on myself.
I think my adrenal glands are exhausted, I really need to start looking after myself properly. I had to take a nap after lunch today, hence why my sleep time is so high. I felt like I did nearly everything right today, but I also realise that Rome wasn't built in a day.
Anyway, I had a good day today, so let's celebrate that.
I actually started today, as Friday I gave in and bought wine. BUT - I got a surprise text from SG yesterday and he wants us to go away for a night together in a couple of weeks, and by God, has that kickstarted the plan quickstep! I'm so excited about it, I just can't believe he suggested it. So I'm on a new 20 day plan to try to be looking and feeling as good as I possibly can for that night away.
I also realised that the lack of anything to look forward to has made me super-depressed, and this has cheered me up so much! So I need to start planning little goals or rewards every couple of weeks to help with my motivation.
Anyway, going to start tracking here every day. I would like to lose 20 pounds in 20 days. Hahaha. Let's see how we get on.
Day 1/20 - She's going the distance, she's going for speed...
Sleep: 10 hr 24 min - Sleep Score: 82
RHR: 61 - Cardio Fitness: 32-36 (average)
Weight: 193.6 - BF: 42.7% - BMI: 29.5
Today's exercise:
6km run (38:16) - 20 min walk - yoga online
Yes, I did a 6km run today, even at such a high body weight! It helps that the weather was beautiful. I was really proud.
Today's food:
- walnuts, blueberries and natural yoghurt
- ground coffee with milk; lemon cream slice
- beef bone broth; half vegetable quiche
- tomato and basil soup; slice of toast and butter; salad of pesto pasta, tomatoes, spinach, peppers and cucumber
- cacao and almond oat bar; tea and milk
I'm happy with my food day. Bone broth on its own is disgusting though - never again. I'll make it into a soup the next time. I would like to eat more now - I am not hungry but definitely could eat more sugar. I won't though. It's only 20 days.
I'm worried about tomorrow and the cigarette factor but the plan is to stay off them for the next 20 days. Let's see how I go. I'm not going to put crazy pressure on myself.
I think my adrenal glands are exhausted, I really need to start looking after myself properly. I had to take a nap after lunch today, hence why my sleep time is so high. I felt like I did nearly everything right today, but I also realise that Rome wasn't built in a day.
Anyway, I had a good day today, so let's celebrate that.
Cate
Long term member
I read that first & thought "I can't imagine Em going to a rodeo" & then went up the pageGood luck with the rodeo prep
You had better get that whip cracking, Em Haha, thanks guys.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I just woke up today and everything was blah again. Maybe I should forget about trying to earn money and go get a job in a coffee shop or something. Oh right, those are all closed. I just hate everything at the moment. I just can't seem to accept life as it is, and put the head down and get things done, and all the other stuff you're meant to do.
I'm tired of feeling 'lucky' to have a job, to have been born in a European country, to have no problems as such really, that aren't of my own making. I don't know. I just feel like nothing will ever make me happy. Nothing is ever enough.
I absolutely loathe being confined to my shitty bedroom for 8 hours a day to make money. It is horrendous. I actually feel sorry for writers and people in that kind of job who go to coffee shops to work for a few hours, because it must be absolutely horrendous to have no options when it comes to that anymore.
I've been listening to a lot of Radiohead today, maybe that is the cause of my low mood. It's not even low really, I'm just incredibly frustrated and disappointed in the way things are. And the thing is, if someone said, 'Hey, I have a time machine, where would you like to travel back to and make different choices?', I wouldn't do it, because I believe I've made the only choice available to me at the time, that would propel me to the next choice. I wouldn't do things differently because I COULDN'T. That's what I believe anyway.
Wherever you go, there you are. I'm not sure quitting my job or moving house would help me. I just feel all is futility right now. I am finding it so hard to motivate myself. I think I can just see glimmers of a potential life I want to live, but it's the other 15 hours a day that I am suffering through that are making things impossible. I don't know, I guess I am just losing hope that there's something brighter coming my way.
I know this is a kind of strange post - the fact that I am even trying to justify myself is annoying me. I feel completely tense and hemmed in with the life I'm living and the people I have surrounded myself with. I just find a lot of people lacking. I know that sounds horrible. I like people on a kind of shallow, chitchat level. I don't feel they have much to offer me beyond that, or at least they don't reveal that side to me. Maybe because I feel like I'm lacking, I find them lacking too. When I feel good, I enjoy other people a lot more. But all the same... it's all just taking too much energy. I don't feel like smiling anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I just woke up today and everything was blah again. Maybe I should forget about trying to earn money and go get a job in a coffee shop or something. Oh right, those are all closed. I just hate everything at the moment. I just can't seem to accept life as it is, and put the head down and get things done, and all the other stuff you're meant to do.
I'm tired of feeling 'lucky' to have a job, to have been born in a European country, to have no problems as such really, that aren't of my own making. I don't know. I just feel like nothing will ever make me happy. Nothing is ever enough.
I absolutely loathe being confined to my shitty bedroom for 8 hours a day to make money. It is horrendous. I actually feel sorry for writers and people in that kind of job who go to coffee shops to work for a few hours, because it must be absolutely horrendous to have no options when it comes to that anymore.
I've been listening to a lot of Radiohead today, maybe that is the cause of my low mood. It's not even low really, I'm just incredibly frustrated and disappointed in the way things are. And the thing is, if someone said, 'Hey, I have a time machine, where would you like to travel back to and make different choices?', I wouldn't do it, because I believe I've made the only choice available to me at the time, that would propel me to the next choice. I wouldn't do things differently because I COULDN'T. That's what I believe anyway.
Wherever you go, there you are. I'm not sure quitting my job or moving house would help me. I just feel all is futility right now. I am finding it so hard to motivate myself. I think I can just see glimmers of a potential life I want to live, but it's the other 15 hours a day that I am suffering through that are making things impossible. I don't know, I guess I am just losing hope that there's something brighter coming my way.
I know this is a kind of strange post - the fact that I am even trying to justify myself is annoying me. I feel completely tense and hemmed in with the life I'm living and the people I have surrounded myself with. I just find a lot of people lacking. I know that sounds horrible. I like people on a kind of shallow, chitchat level. I don't feel they have much to offer me beyond that, or at least they don't reveal that side to me. Maybe because I feel like I'm lacking, I find them lacking too. When I feel good, I enjoy other people a lot more. But all the same... it's all just taking too much energy. I don't feel like smiling anymore.
That sounds like low-grade depression to me. Please take care of yourself and if these low moods persist try talking to your doctor about, ok?
Cate
Long term member
That sounds like low-grade depression to me. Please take care of yourself and if these low moods persist try talking to your doctor about, ok?
with LaMa, Em Thanks guys. I'm okay, I swear.
I think lockdown is just really getting me down. The walls were closing in a bit yesterday. I actually thought I was a person that loved chillaxing and sitting on my bum - I don't think I'm that person anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still beyond lazy when it comes to housework. But I have this real drive in me to make the most of my life that I didn't have when I was younger. I think I was actually suffering from depression or some form of it at that point.
Anyway, had a good day today. SG booked our room, so that's definitely happening. He also wants to do some of the nice touristy things around the place, which is really cool. I wasn't sure he'd be up for that. So that's all great.
I also had a chat with a friend tonight and we're going to meet up soon. I donated some money to save a local theatre, which is in danger of closing down because of Covid. We had great feedback from the drama meetup last night. I wished another friend a happy birthday. Lots of good things really.
The best is that I only have one more week of this crappy lockdown to suffer through. I can do one more week, right?
I think lockdown is just really getting me down. The walls were closing in a bit yesterday. I actually thought I was a person that loved chillaxing and sitting on my bum - I don't think I'm that person anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still beyond lazy when it comes to housework. But I have this real drive in me to make the most of my life that I didn't have when I was younger. I think I was actually suffering from depression or some form of it at that point.
Anyway, had a good day today. SG booked our room, so that's definitely happening. He also wants to do some of the nice touristy things around the place, which is really cool. I wasn't sure he'd be up for that. So that's all great.
I also had a chat with a friend tonight and we're going to meet up soon. I donated some money to save a local theatre, which is in danger of closing down because of Covid. We had great feedback from the drama meetup last night. I wished another friend a happy birthday. Lots of good things really.
The best is that I only have one more week of this crappy lockdown to suffer through. I can do one more week, right?
- Definitely Cate.
- Oh LaMa, I need it to end!
- 4 more days Petal! 4!
Well, today was extremely upsetting. My mum rang me in the afternoon to tell me she's been feeling unwell for the last couple of weeks, had some scans on Monday, and thought she might have to go into A&E this evening. She sounded really scared on the phone. I dropped everything and drove home. She seems okay again now. The doctor said she has to be vomiting before they'll admit her to the hospital. Seriously, you need to be half dead already before they'll admit you at this stage. But she was a lot brighter when I left and hopefully, she'll be okay. She has more scans next week to see what the hell is wrong with her bowel. I'm trying not to panic but it was a really scary afternoon. And now I'm so behind in my work and I just can't see a light at the end of the tunnel with regards to it. But it's fine, I don't really give a shit anymore.
I also donated blood this evening, so that was good. I'm going home for the weekend and just trying to get lots of rest before next week when tennis and the swimming pool are back in my life. I also sent a kind of dramatic email to the team today, which I'm half regretting, but I'm trying to get back into the office for as many days as I can, which is tricky when some people only want to be in there with one other person max. Anyway, we had a team meeting today, where we said we'd be honest with each other, so that's kind of what I wanted to do. Then the thing with my mum happened.
It's been an upsetting day all round. I can't take another thing.
- Oh LaMa, I need it to end!
- 4 more days Petal! 4!
Well, today was extremely upsetting. My mum rang me in the afternoon to tell me she's been feeling unwell for the last couple of weeks, had some scans on Monday, and thought she might have to go into A&E this evening. She sounded really scared on the phone. I dropped everything and drove home. She seems okay again now. The doctor said she has to be vomiting before they'll admit her to the hospital. Seriously, you need to be half dead already before they'll admit you at this stage. But she was a lot brighter when I left and hopefully, she'll be okay. She has more scans next week to see what the hell is wrong with her bowel. I'm trying not to panic but it was a really scary afternoon. And now I'm so behind in my work and I just can't see a light at the end of the tunnel with regards to it. But it's fine, I don't really give a shit anymore.
I also donated blood this evening, so that was good. I'm going home for the weekend and just trying to get lots of rest before next week when tennis and the swimming pool are back in my life. I also sent a kind of dramatic email to the team today, which I'm half regretting, but I'm trying to get back into the office for as many days as I can, which is tricky when some people only want to be in there with one other person max. Anyway, we had a team meeting today, where we said we'd be honest with each other, so that's kind of what I wanted to do. Then the thing with my mum happened.
It's been an upsetting day all round. I can't take another thing.
