Cate's Diary

Oh, and I looked at the link to a "standard" drink you posted. It was interesting, I can tell you my "standard" drink was a whole lot more, I never got more than 3 or 4 glasses of wine out of a 750 ml bottle, hard to imagine 7 1/2. Now I drink rarely enough that it doesn't matter too much, but when I do it is more than one of those standard drinks.

Good to hear that you have turned the corner on the drinking thing, I am sure you will feel better for it!
 
Cate said:
So many people don't prefer their husband's company, LaMa.
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That's a fact, Cate. Not all marriages are made in heaven. Probably most, but that's just my jaded output :)
 
alligatorob said:
Liza, that is interesting, I may be a bit the opposite. I often enjoy talking with people who think differently, it seems to lead to more interesting conversation.
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That's a good point Rob--I think when I say like-minded I think i mean more like open and receptive...I don't mind different viewpoints and actually do enjoy hearing different perspectives, but don't enjoy hearing/being around harmful ideas that aren't open to hearing a different side themselves.
I was raised in a pretty narrow minded town where people who were different than the "norm" had to hide their identity for fear they would be beat up...I can't stand to be around that sort of environment. I love to be around open-minded, curious people.

@Cate yes i think you are so lucky to be able to have such a long-term loving relationship as you do! I would imagine very few have that!
 
Rob- I grew up in a small town in rural Victoria where most people had very narrow-minded views & racism & bigotry were the norm. I just can't or don't want to tolerate it any more. I can understand narrow-mindedness when people have never had much contact with people who they think are not like them, but I don't have to agree with them. By the same token, I don't expect them to think like me either. I'll still disagree when I need to speak up though.
I think it's interesting how many men view their friends & possibly most don't analyse it. I love philosophy & just can't seem to help it. My mother & my older sister were really into philosophy and influenced my thinking & my education. I question things a lot or ponder over them.
My younger brother committed suicide too a long time ago & I remember well my SIL telling me that no-one knew what to say to her. I invited her down to stay with us for a while to get away from it all. At the time I had my younger sister & her young baby staying with us because her BF had dumped her & gone to NZ & we had just had our first. Poor G. He would come home from work to a house full of women & 3 babies.
Standard drinks are by no means anyone I know's standard drinks, but that's the marker & the recommendation of 10 standard drinks a week max for women is an eye-opener. I think I have ignored it until now really.
Hi, Jack, I do know I'm lucky to have a happy marriage. We have had our ups & downs over the years, but I have never wanted to leave G. Ever.
liza said:
That's a good point Rob--I think when I say like-minded I think i mean more like open and receptive...I don't mind different viewpoints and actually do enjoy hearing different perspectives, but don't enjoy hearing/being around harmful ideas that aren't open to hearing a different side themselves.
I was raised in a pretty narrow minded town where people who were different than the "norm" had to hide their identity for fear they would be beat up...I can't stand to be around that sort of environment. I love to be around open-minded, curious people.
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Snap! :iagree: with all of the above.
liza said:
@Cate yes i think you are so lucky to be able to have such a long-term loving relationship as you do! I would imagine very few have that!
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Sadly, I think that's true for most.
Edit: I have decided to learn Italian again, rather than Dutch as I love the sound of it more. I am going to do at least one lesson a day for August & see how I go.
 
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Cate said:
I have decided to learn Italian again, rather than Dutch as I love the sound of it more. I am going to do at least one lesson a day for August & see how I go.
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Fun! I think it's great to continue learning things whatever our interests are. So many great resources on-line now--we can learn just about anything we want! How are you going about learning your Italian--something on line, or a book and cd or something?
 
Cate said:
I grew up in a small town in rural Victoria where most people had very narrow-minded views & racism & bigotry were the norm.
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It is not just rural Victoria, Rural NSW where I grew up is still very racist, and rural Queensland where I am now is terrible.
 
Liza- I'm just using Duolingo as it's a nice easy way to start & it's fun. I don't care if it is aimed at kids. I love Italian!
LaMa- all alcohol drinks here list how many standard drinks are in them, but I have chosen to ignore them when I'm not driving.
Tru- I know. It abounds here too, mostly in rural areas :(

G & I had a good time with the kids & took them home this morning. Our 14 yr old GD is suffering from anxiety & dreads going to school. She wants to go to a different school next year, but I fear the other one is just as bad. There is a lot of bullying & violence at her school. Poor kids. C starts high school next year. I wish we could afford to pay for private school for them, but we can't. We don't have much savings at all & all our assets are tied up in our home.
 
Cate said:
I grew up in a small town in rural Victoria where most people had very narrow-minded views & racism & bigotry were the norm. I just can't or don't want to tolerate it any more. I can understand narrow-mindedness when people have never had much contact with people who they think are not like them, but I don't have to agree with them. By the same token, I don't expect them to think like me either. I'll still disagree when I need to speak up though.
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That is interesting, I guess smaller towns are the same everywhere. And I suppose you are right it's the limited exposure thing. I am careful around people like that I find that speaking disapproval or even sometimes disagreement can be counterproductive. I try to lead by example instead. That often doesn't work either, but its what I do. Hard to change people's minds. When I was a kid my father worked with an Engineer who was on temporary assignment from somewhere in the Middle East, they were Muslim, the first I had ever met. He had a son my age and so we got put together. They were nice people and I found I liked both father and son. However I still remember thinking that it was too bad these nice people were not Christian and so would be condemned to hell for all time. Like I have said I was raised in the bible belt, my thinking has of course changed a lot since then, but I suspect some of my friends and relatives have not.
Cate said:
I think it's interesting how many men view their friends & possibly most don't analyse it. I love philosophy & just can't seem to help it. My mother & my older sister were really into philosophy and influenced my thinking & my education.
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That is interesting, so what do you think about e-friends? Like us here at the forum? Are we friends or something else? We share many intimate details of our lives that even physical friends may not, so there is that depth. But never having actually met is very different. And I am sure there are lots of things we don't know about each other that physical friends do. As I said I just consider y'all friends, but I know its different.

Good luck with your GD, that has to be stressful for you. Most people are able to overcome the problems they have at 14 with good parental and grandparental attention and love. I am sure your GD gets that. I am not sure private schools are always best. People I know who graduated from private school seem no better people or adapted than public schools. I think the experience of going to a public school with its diversity of people is mostly good. Figuring out how to live with them is a good thing for most kids, though a struggle at times.
 
Cate said:
Our 14 yr old GD is suffering from anxiety & dreads going to school.
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:( So sad. School was one of the worst places for me. I had terrible anxiety throughout school without much bullying or violence around me. I think I would have done better with home-schooling. I think it's a hard system for a lot of sensitive kids to deal with. As I got into older grades I ended up just skipping a lot of school. Still to this day I'm so thankful I don't have to go to school now! haha
 
12-15 were tough years for me even though I was in an excellent school. Counseling would probably made a big difference but changing schools would not have helped me. It's different for different people though!
 
alligatorob said:
Oh, and I looked at the link to a "standard" drink you posted. It was interesting, I can tell you my "standard" drink was a whole lot more, I never got more than 3 or 4 glasses of wine out of a 750 ml bottle, hard to imagine 7 1/2.
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7 1/2 glasses from a bottle of wine! Lol, madness.

Have fun learning the Italian Cate.
 
Rob- My forum friends are my friends. I share more of my feelings with you than I do most of the people I interact with physically. I agree with you that private schools don't produce better people & diversity is better. Learning resilience is what is needed.
Liza- My school days were reasonably happy days luckily. I can only just keep providing moral support to our GK's.
LaMa- maybe counselling would help her. I might find a book on resilience targeted at her age. A Might Girl has some great resources. I'll have a look shortly.
Em- I know! 7.5 standard drinks from one bottle- 1/2 a bottle even 5 days a week is still almost twice the recommended level for women.
I just love the sound of the Italian language & was in heaven when we were there. I would love to be able to speak it fluently. I think that would be the only way I got to travel out of the country again one day. Italy....*sigh* :beating:
G & I are off to "the big smoke" today & I am getting a haircut. I haven't had one since G cut my hair in April & I feel like a shaggy dog. We're taking Arch & he has a play date with G's brother & SILs little pup. We'll do some shopping, have lunch and then visit an older friend who's birthday is tomorrow at 3, when a few other friends are also surprising him with a visit.
 
Cate said:
I just love the sound of the Italian language & was in heaven when we were there. I would love to be able to speak it fluently. I think that would be the only way I got to travel out of the country again one day. Italy....*sigh* :beating:
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I spent a lot of time working in Italy, probably been there 30 times. Of the European countries I have visited it was my favorite, I learned a few words and phrases, but never got fluent, or even close. I also think Dutch is an interesting language, all the long words. The difference is Dutch is not as widely spoken and when I have been in the Netherlands it seems to me everyone speaks relatively good English. In contrast more people speak Italian, and once you get off the beaten path in Italy a lot of people don't speak much English. I think Italian would be more useful. Anyway good for you learning any new language is a good thing!
 
Rob- I wanted to learn Dutch mainly because our YS's GF is Dutch, but I was not enjoying the sound of it or my attempts at the sound of it. Italian is more mellifluous & I already know so many Italian words.
Em- I'm not so sure Archie enjoyed his play date as the puppy was very pesky(cute though) but he behaved himself very well under extreme provocation :willy_nilly::cool:

We had a lovely day yesterday and it was very sociable, without being too much. We got everything on our list but also G got a couple of pairs of trousers, we ended up having a light lunch at G's brother's house & I really loved my haircut. The hairdressers I go to you just walk in & don't need an appointment, but you don't get to choose. I told the hairdresser that I hadn't been in for 6 months as I had been concerned for them. For some reason, the government decided that hairdressers needed to stay open. We had a good talk about it & she said she was so nervous that she would get Covid & it was a big relief when their boss closed for a couple of months. That also coincided with schools turning to remote learning. I got some lovely compliments on my hair for the rest of the day & that was nice. My SIL loved my haircut. I decided to keep some of the curls & body instead of going super short.
We picked up a delivery of pop tabs (teeth cleaning tablets for minimal waste) from a woman who bulk orders stuff & I left her a small gift of our home blended Muscat in her metre box. She organises the bulk orders for no profit. She loved it.
After we had finished our shopping etc we then called in to see A & M, with Archie & he won another couple of hearts. He is such a well behaved little dog. The 4 of us then went along and surprised a friend for his birthday. 3 others visited too & we had a lovely social time, with Archie sitting at my feet just being perfect. He wins hearts everywhere we go.
We got home at 5.30, after leaving at 9.30 & I wasn't over-tired & didn't get affected by perfume or antiseptic handwash. I only went into one store. Archie & I got lots of walking in & we all slept well.
Today is a day at home & tomorrow I am playing golf. I am definitely going even if it's raining.
 
Sounds like a really great day Cate! Glad you love the haircut and felt comfortable there. So sweet about little Archie winning everyone over!! So cute!
 
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