Cate's Diary

You generally play 18 holes, right? Maybe you could play 9 for a while if it leaves you incapacitated for a day afterwards?
Cate said:
G & I both feel that we are being taken advantage of, but fear estrangement by him if we speak up. His partner seems very needy & demanding & I know he defers to her in almost everything. She has already turned him against me once for some perceived snub, which still hurts a bit.
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That sounds so hard and I´m sorry you´re having to deal with it :grouphug: It must be confidence-destroying for the kids too, to get dropped off with their grandparents (loving and wonderful though they are) every time their dad "has" them.
 
Cate, you need a ‘Be firm with my son’ switch. I think you really should refuse to take the grandkids if it’s a similar last minute thing or two weekends in a row again. You are enabling his partner’s demanding behaviour. I know it’s hard, and obviously easy for me to say, but communication is the only way out of this I’m afraid. Say it early before it becomes a huge thing.

Well done on your alcohol-free 28 days. I would just say that running a switch board is harder than turning on just one, so don’t overwhelm yourself with too much all together. Rooting for you.
 
Cate, I love that picture of Archie in the bush! What a great little dog! :)
And you have a new thumbnail - is it a Tasmanian history painting? I like its vivacity.
I haven't caught up with your diary, just dipped in to the last couple of pages, but wanted to say a quick hello - no waving emoji, because you don't enjoy the moving ones, but consider me as waving to you!
 
Thanks, Liza. I did need to choose to be even healthier. Habits can be changed. I will definitely introduce some new limits from now on when it comes to drinking.
LaMa- I think playing 9 holes until the weather is better would be a better idea. I may just do that tomorrow. My back is aching again today. I'm not sure why I am having back trouble but I do know I feel particularly tired again today.
I just don't seem to be able to broach the subject with D, He & G are playing snooker now. He seems to really enjoy coming up here & I know he thinks the kids do too & I feel like I'm being a grump.

Em- It really isn't easy or straightforward. I doubt your parents really tell you what they think about the things you do or don't do. It's second nature to provide support & encouragement & so hard to say no when it also involves the grandkids. I don't want them thinking we don't want them. You are right about not running a switchboard. I'll work out my limits with alcohol and how many days I will not have any each week. I also thought I might make it a weekly limit of x number of standard drinks. I'll give it some more thought & decide before Wednesday. I think I'll skip having a drink after women's golf & have one glass when I get home if I feel like it.

Amy- so nice to have you back :) Archie is just a gorgeous little dog. He is the best thing for me to come from 2020. The thumbnail is a Michael Leunig pic. I love it too. I have blocked animations on my Chrome now, so they won't bother me any more. I must remember to ask my GP about it & also the optometrist when I have my next appointment.

I really have felt very tired in the last few days. I might take a book with me tomorrow so that if I do finish after 9 holes I can sit & read. I'm looking forward to a couple of days at home doing nothing much.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I’ll have to make sure the world gives me a rest.
I had a talk with D & have had the situation explained a little but not in great detail. There has been some conflict with the 2 girls, both of them having some mental issues & it blew up about a month ago. He hadn’t wanted to stress me any more as it all happened when we were stressed out over R being off his meds & being manic again.
I’m glad we had the conversation. I’m not clear about it all but he knows that we need to be kept informed & be given notice. He thinks it will be temporary.
 
Cate I feel your pain a bit with lacking in your personal space . I had a bit of a meltdown last night . Felt so claustrophobic and cabin feverish and I am so Incredibly tired I had a little cry . ( I’m ok now ) Glad you told D a few things and that you found out there was a few problems . It will sort and I think it’s lovely your such a great mum and grandmother. I love you have stayed off the alcohol . I’m trying to remember that when I feel like something sugary and I will think of your determination.
Good Archie is keeping you walking . Lovely dog he is .
 
Thanks, Petal, LaMa, Liza & Amy. It has taken me ages to get through all of the forum posts and I will come back later to report on my day I think. I feel really good, after the second game of golf in one week, also with a bit of rain & a very sociable day, with a few of the golfers coming back here afterwards & our son calling in again for a game of snooker with them. I slept very well last night. I also played much better golf. The sun is shining here, right now & I will take Arch for a nice big walk up to the lemon trees. I can't be without lemons.
 
Lemon trees! We may have peaches, but not citrus here. I miss the lemon, orange, grapefruit, and tangerine trees we had in Florida.

I am happy to see you had a positive day!
 
Thanks, Petal. Sometimes life can just wear you down, but a good day can get you bouncing back up. Walking is so good for me :grouphug:
Thanks, Rob. Our far neighbours are happy for me to raid their lemon trees. They are quite shy, but chatty with me, so that’s nice. I give them a small bottle of muscat every now & then. I don't think they would care either way, but I do like to repay generosity if I can. I enjoy chatting with them whenever we catch up.
Thanks, Em. I'm glad I talked to D too. It went quite well & rather than leave me thinking it's a problem with his partner & his kids, I now think it may be a teenage clash thing. He'll explain it to me further I'm sure now I have had a talk. I think he felt I had enough to worry about, but not informing me what is going on made it worse. Communication is so important.

It's very foggy & drizzly here today & I decided to have another home day. We don't need to shop really. I'll take Archie for a couple of shorter walks even if I need to wear a raincoat. My back is hurting a bit still. I have a doctor's appointment next week. I had better make a list.

It is meant to rain heavier tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll go out to golf or not.
Today is a month without any alcohol. I am quite proud of that & am glad I have broken the everyday habit of a couple of glasses. Now I can formulate a plan of moderation. I'm in no rush to have any. I know I am going to have many days of no alcohol at all each week & a maximum limit of standard drinks each week. I won't make strict rules as I am more liable to break even self-imposed rules. What I have decided is that my default will be not drinking, ahead of "of course, I'll have a wine."
 
Cate said:
Today is a month without any alcohol. I am quite proud of that & am glad
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Good for you! This year your dry July came a couple of weeks late, but better late than never. I know I have told you before, but it was your dry July challenge last year that changed my drinking, a lot. I still have a drink once in a while, but not often, hopefully you will find a way to do something similar. It will really help the diet, it did mine. Moderation is the key, I am sure you will find it!

No need for a raincoat here today!
 
Staying in is so nice. Sorry to hear about your back and I hope it is something minor. I had back problems for some years and after the last two procedures I haven't had any pain. Good luck at the doctor and congrats on the month of being alcohol free!
 
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