Cate's Diary

Well done with the Alcohol free streak, I understand it can be a hard change to make, but I can never truly understand how it feels having never been a regular drinker.

Take care of yourself.
 
Thanks, Tru. I sometimes think genes play a role in your tendency to drink alcohol, plus I have been surrounded by it for decades, including 18 years running a pub. It's a habit & one I can break. I realised my consumption had crept up with the anxiety of the pandemic & I needed to nip it in the bud.
I feel like I am taking much better care of myself.
 
Cate said:
I have decided to wait until the month is up to weigh. That feels like being gentle & kind to myself.

Mental health is often taken for granted, but I am aware when mine needs special care & now is the time.

Thanks, Rob. You're right. I didn't get far with my dry July challenge last year & am so glad you did. I am going to change my habit of relying on alcohol to unwind at the end of the day. It's a lifelong habit, therefore harder to change, but I'm on day 12 today & feeling quite happy about that. I want to have an occasional drink, rather than an almost everyday drink. It needs to be put back into its rightful place, just like chocolate & ice cream, cakes & candies.

Day 12 of no alcohol & <1550 cals & 2 walks a day. Next Monday I will tweak my plan a little more. I think I'll add squats again, but just a minimum of 10 each day to start off with as they do hurt my knees a bit. Maybe I won't try to squat so low & might add my barbie weights instead.
G managed to maneuver Arch onto his lap this morning so that I could use the laptop. Thank you, G.
I took Arch into town yesterday & we walked & walked. He loves socialising with other dogs & smelling all the smells & seeing on every post.
A dog actually attacked him up the street, which shook me up so badly I had to sit on a bench until I stopped shaking. It really frightened me. He wasn't hurt & was not shaken up by it all. The dog was on a lead & the owner seemed really nice & was embarrassed, but I should have read the cues. I'll know better next time & hold him back so that other dogs can't quite reach him to pounce. This dog I think was an unneutered boy dog, asserting his dominance. Seeing as Arch came from a home where he was bullied by a larger dog I am so relieved that he didn't seem bothered by it all. I realise that my emotions are super sensitive at the moment so it's maybe time to have some therapy. My heart just started pounding typing about the attack. It wasn't even that vicious. It just affected me a lot.
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Congratulations on 12 days of no alcohol.
 
Well done on 12 days already. And I hope you've recovered from the dog incident by now. I used to be terrified of unknown dogs (grew up with a lot of chained-up guard dogs in the neighborhood which does not make for friendly pups, poor things) so I can feel the shock from here.
 
I think the wine, or chocolate, or whatever your ‘thing’ is really are just habits. Your brain begins to convince you that you ‘need’ them somehow, yet thrown into a different scenario where you don’t have access to them, you realise you don’t need them at all.

I am a fellow wine drinker but I know even if I have only 2 drinks an evening, it definitely affects my energy levels. I hope you enjoy this break Cate and I would definitely expect a movement down in the scales. Well done.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I have recovered from the dog incident & I will be more open to cues from now on. I will trust my instincts from now on.
Thanks, Em. You’re right. Ingrained habits are just that. I am enjoying the break & I’m sure my body is thanking me. I am sleeping sounder, but for fewer hours. When I wake I am more wide awake.
G rang our neighbour & had a chat about the trail/dirt bikes. I’m sure he had no idea how loud it is in our house. He was very understanding. I really want to get along with him & don’t want to spoil the kids fun. I think I will let him know if we’re going to be away for a day, especially in the school holidays. They do have more land than we do & lots of room to ride away from our house. It has had me thinking of moving because we live here for the peace & quiet. I don’t want to move.
 
Cate said:
They do have more land than we do & lots of room to ride away from our house. It has had me thinking of moving because we live here for the peace & quiet. I don’t want to move.
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That would be awful. Glad to hear he's sensible about it!
 
It’s such a relief, LaMa. It has been stressing me out. I’m so grateful G rang him. He was going to go over to see him, but decided to ring instead.
 
12 days is a good streak. Thanks for the explanation, your regular nightly drinking was probably more regular for longer than mine. I know that makes it harder to stop. You said something about the problem being genetic, do you have family members with a drinking problem?

Sounds like you have a good neighbor, at least willing to listen to your problems. Hope that works out for you, moving would be a traumatic thing to have to do for a reason like that.
 
Rob- my Dad was a big drinker. The regular drinking has been better since we sold our hotel, but the last few months I have been relying on it more to try to relieve stress. I’m talking about 2-3 glasses a day- no more. Of course, like smoking it doesn’t help. I feel good about it & in no hurry to drink alcohol any time soon.
 
Cate I come from a family of alcoholics. It turned me the other way thankfully but my crutch was food .
dogs fighting is scary . We don’t let our dog approach other dogs at all . She is nervous .
your plan sounds really excellent. I really want to take a leaf out of your book and maybe give up low cal treats that are not good for me .
I’m sorry you have had such a hard time recently but you have Archie and G and good friends and you sound like your are really minding yourself
 
I can really relate to the neighbor stress. A few months ago I had a new neighbor move in and I was really afraid I might have to move. I was so stressed, as there really aren't options for moving around here--everything is so unaffordable and I love so much about my place. Happily things have really settled down and I find them to be excellent neighbors now. I hope the same goes for yours.
I'm glad G dealt with it.

Congrats on the continued non-drinking and lowered calorie intake!
 
Petal- my Dad also had problems with his weight & struggled with it all his life. I feel I inherited a lot of his traits as well as his build. He was such a softie with dogs especially & I could do no wrong.
I’ll just let Archie go close to other dogs I think, but not so close that they can pounce.
I am being more mindful of taking good care of myself knowing that I feel fragile.
Liza- I have felt from the start that our neighbour is a really nice bloke, but was so nervous about approaching him about this. He’s our only near neighbour & it would be awful to have a misunderstanding. G is more diplomatic & rational than me & less emotional. I was agonising over how to go about it so as not to upset them :svengo:

Day 13 of no alcohol. I had some no alcohol wine that has been in the fridge for 6 months so drank that last night while G had a red wine. It was too sweet for me. I wanted it gone from the fridge. It feels a bit liberating to be breaking this habit.
We have the GK’s for 2 nights & a day from tonight. I’m not sure what we’ll do with them. I want to stay feeling safe.
 
Hi Cate, I was just reading about your breaking the alcohol habit, 13 days in now? How cool - well done. It's great your husband was able to talk to the neighbor, I hope it works out, nobody needs that kind of noise.
 
Hi, Jack & thank you. It would be no big deal for most people in here & that embarrasses me a little. I think it will be fine with the neighbour. He might just make them a track on their big paddock. The noise, when it's in the distance is ok. I won't say I like it, but it's ok.
So was it you that recommended “Opening the Door of Your Heart” by Ajahn Brahm?
 
Hey Cate, given your family history I can see why you worry about drinking. We all inherit at least some of our parents traits, both the good and the not so good. I am sure you can find a way to manage, you are working at it.

A hotel must have been an interesting business, most businesses that you are not in look attractive! My brother once owned a bar and restaurant, he hated the bar part. He only seemed to make money the nights he stuck around to closing time and that was not what he liked doing. I did some volunteer work for him from time to time, the only pay I took was all I wanted to drink. Probably not a great deal for either of us, but I did get to see some of the workings of the business. A good business to be out of...
 
Hi, Rob. The reason I don’t usually talk about alcohol is because it then does get elevated in importance. I don’t feel that I have a drinking problem & don’t look at alcohol as being so bad, if it’s consumed in moderation. I felt it was becoming a crutch. Giving myself a month off should break the habit.
We worked in the pub from when we got up until when we packed up after the last customers. Mostly it was very hard work but often it was fun. My tolerance of drunks has diminished in the last almost 17 years since we sold up. I don’t like going to bars now.
 
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I wish everyone was as sensible about alcohol as you are: recognizing problems well before they occur is an enviable superpower.
 
Cate I bet you are feeling so much better without the alcohol. Enjoy the grandkids hope you find something fun to do .
 
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