Cate's Diary

[Cate]

Here you can always get a Soda Zitrone, which is just sparkling water with lemon juice. It's refreshing, not "just" water, and nobody thinks you're weird for having it. The current wave of hipster drinks is pretty hit and miss but some of them are genuinely nice and relatively low-calorie/not overly sweet.

In the rural places we go (mainly golf clubs) you wouldn’t even see a lemon, LaMa. I would happily drink any hipster drink

That's impressive Cate. Hope it continues to go well. I think you giving up alcohol would be like me giving up chocolate.

Thanks, Liza. Yesterday was the first time that I actually felt like a wine, but I had no trouble saying no, after telling G that, when he offered me a glass of red wine. I went & got a no sugar diet tonic with a slice of lemon instead & enjoyed it. Chocolate to me is always disappointing.

Cate I think that's great and it's such a shame other people might struggle with it . I would just order a sparkling water with a slice of lemon or lime or a Diet Coke maybe. Hope it shows on the scales but you will feel wonderful one way or the other . Sometimes it's only a little tweak that is needed.

Thanks, Petal. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with me not drinking. G just suggested I take some lemon wedges with me next time & I will do that. I really dislike Diet Coke. I do feel better already. Today is day 9.

I have also been tracking my calories & have kept under 1550 each day. Mostly I am having 3 “proper” meals, with a fruit platter after lunch or dinner.
BF this morning was 2 eggs & 1/2 an avo on rye bread with a little home-made spicy tomato sauce.
Lunch will be corned beef & veggies, dinner a cold meat salad.
Last night after dinner we had a small fruit platter(1/2 a purple pear, 1/2 orange & 10 grapes) with 6 squares of chocolate, 1 small gf biscuit & 1/2 stick of molasses licorice. Sunday night is “treats” night. Still within my 1550. That’s what not drinking wine means
Decided to stay at home again today. There was rain last night at bed-time & Arch gets frightened. When I got him settled, G was snoring *sigh*. I feel very clear-headed & good though, with about 6 hours max of sleep.

 

[Eskim0]

In the rural places we go (mainly golf clubs) you wouldn’t even see a lemon, LaMa. I would happily drink any hipster drink

Thanks, Liza. Yesterday was the first time that I actually felt like a wine, but I had no trouble saying no, after telling G that, when he offered me a glass of red wine. I went & got a no sugar diet tonic with a slice of lemon instead & enjoyed it. Chocolate to me is always disappointing.
Thanks, Petal. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with me not drinking. G just suggested I take some lemon wedges with me next time & I will do that. I really dislike Diet Coke. I do feel better already. Today is day 9.

I have also been tracking my calories & have kept under 1550 each day. Mostly I am having 3 “proper” meals, with a fruit platter after lunch or dinner.
BF this morning was 2 eggs & 1/2 an avo on rye bread with a little home-made spicy tomato sauce.
Lunch will be corned beef & veggies, dinner a cold meat salad.
Last night after dinner we had a small fruit platter(1/2 a purple pear, 1/2 orange & 10 grapes) with 6 squares of chocolate, 1 small gf biscuit & 1/2 stick of molasses licorice. Sunday night is “treats” night. Still within my 1550. That’s what not drinking wine means
Decided to stay at home again today. There was rain last night at bed-time & Arch gets frightened. When I got him settled, G was snoring *sigh*. I feel very clear-headed & good though, with about 6 hours max of sleep.

Hi Cate, just catching up with your diary and was sorry to read about your recent struggles. I have been supporting some family members who are going through something similar and I'm sure that it is no coincidence that these down spells are occurring alongside a global pandemic. Glad that you have and trust your own coping strategies so you know that this too shall pass. X

 

[Cate]

Thanks, R. I don’t think I know anyone who has not felt anxious or worried during this global pandemic. It doesn’t help but is perfectly understandable.
I have to try not to direct my energy in an unhelpful direction. Our younger son, who has BP2, thinks he can manage his health without medication. Somehow I have to learn to stop worrying so much about him, step back but still be here for him if & when he needs me. Being a parent is tough. Self-care is so important & I need to protect myself too. Thanks for your support xo

 

[Eskim0]

Thanks, R. I don’t think I know anyone who has not felt anxious or worried during this global pandemic. It doesn’t help but is perfectly understandable.
I have to try not to direct my energy in an unhelpful direction. Our younger son, who has BP2, thinks he can manage his health without medication. Somehow I have to learn to stop worrying so much about him, step back but still be here for him if & when he needs me. Being a parent is tough. Self-care is so important & I need to protect myself too. Thanks for your support xo

I can totally relate, I have a parent with the same condition and struggled with guilt after moving out and focusing on my own mental health. Still working toward finding a way to support and maintain a relationship with him without draining my own battery. Counselling has really helped, particularly with the feelings of guilt.

 

[Llama]

Chocolate to me is always disappointing.

It has been more and more so for me over the past years. I wish I could internalize that and stop stuffing my face with it regardless. Somehow my brain doesn´t want to give up on the memory of chocolate bliss and still thinks it can recreate that.

G just suggested I take some lemon wedges with me next time & I will do that. I really dislike Diet Coke.

Excellent idea, yay G!

I feel very clear-headed & good though, with about 6 hours max of sleep.

That´s great to hear. Long may it last.

 

[Petal001]

Glad you hear you are feeling better Cate and eating healthy . Alcohol is a real waste of calories imo lol . My thing is Ice cream . It’s been sneaking in on occasions so I think I will too Give it up totally for a while . Hope you have a great week

 

[liza]

I have also been tracking my calories & have kept under 1550 each day. Mostly I am having 3 “proper” meals, with a fruit platter after lunch or dinner.

You sound like you're doing so well with your new plan Cate! way to go!

Chocolate to me is always disappointing.

I'm afraid to say chocolate never seems to disappoint me! It seems t deliver every time exactly what I was hoping for lol!
I did bring a bottle of wine home the other day though in case the chocolate doesn't cut it as my quick anxiety remedy...so far the bottle remains unopened...

 

[Cate]

Hi, R. Supporting a loved one with BP is bloody hard. My battery feels well & truly drained right now. I feel the need for a break. I’m mentally tired.
I’m trying to do the forum on my phone with Arch on my lap. He claims this spot every morning before I get a chance to get on my laptop. It’s too hard to go back up & read everyone’s posts & address them properly.
LaMa, Petal & Liza I’ll be back xo

 

[Cate]

LaMa- I haven't really enjoyed chocolate for years. I would actually love to have some delicious dark chocolate just for Sunday nights, but am yet to find one. I think not drinking any wine is helping me with my allergies as wine has so much metabisulfite added to it usually. I seem to sleep sounder & when I wake I am well & truly awake. G's idea of taking lemon with me is a good one.
Liza- I think the wine helped me relax at the end of the day & I just need to switch my brain to accept something else. Last night I had a diet dry ginger. The night before it was diet tonic with a squeeze of lemon. I drink lots of herbal tea during the day & in the evening in Winter. I might go look up non-alcoholic mixes to make drinks more interesting. It's just a mental thing. I don't want to drink non-alcoholic wine because it's too sweet, high in calories & is not nice. I just looked up some cocktails & will experiment a bit.

I took Arch for a good walk while G cleaned windows. He's working his way around the house, doing inside & out & the timber Venetians. Great job, G. We are all a bit tired & taking a break.
Day 10 of no alcohol & <1550 cals & getting my steps in. I am not going to go in any challenges or contests as they make me feel inadequate. I'm quite happy with how I'm going so far.....

 

[liza]

I'm quite happy with how I'm going so far.....

And so you should be! Sounds like you're doing great!

 

[Llama]

archie blocking the laptop from your lap is clearly trying to keep you from being online too much

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Liza
LaMa- definitely wanting all of my attention!

 

[DietAccountability101]

Well done on day 10 without booze. I totally agree with your point on the challenges - you know in yourself whether you're doing something that's an improvement, and that should be all that matters.

 

[Cate]

Thanks, 101. I do feel better both mentally & physically doing what I’m doing. I decided to wait until 2 weeks is up before weighing myself & making any changes. I don’t do well with pressure.
I am not going to golf today again as I really prefer to spend the day with Arch. I may or may not go to town but I will take him for a couple of walks regardless.

 

[JuliePulie]

Thanks, 101. I do feel better both mentally & physically doing what I’m doing. I decided to wait until 2 weeks is up before weighing myself & making any changes. I don’t do well with pressure.
I am not going to golf today again as I really prefer to spend the day with Arch. I may or may not go to town but I will take him for a couple of walks regardless.

I don't understand people who weigh themselves daily. Crazy folks

 

[Cate]

Hi, Julie. I don’t care how often or seldom other people weigh themselves but I know I don’t want to risk my determination to go a month without any alcohol at all by weighing myself, being possibly disappointed & then abandoning the plan. This way is safer & gentler & kinder to my mental wellbeing which has been fragile this year.

 

[liza]

This way is safer & gentler & kinder to my mental wellbeing which has been fragile this year.

A gentle and kind approach sounds so perfect Cate.
And, yes, the scale going up and down can sure throw one off--my scale just went up when I really feel it should have gone down. That is one thing about weighing myself all the time--i'm used to the variations by now!

 

[LittleMinx]

This way is safer & gentler & kinder to my mental wellbeing which has been fragile this year.

Wellbeing is so important to take care of, and it's easy to lose track of that. Good for you for having an approach that takes care of your emotional/mental health!

 

[alligatorob]

Hey Cate, your mental health and alcohol consumption are a whole lot more important than weighing. Do what works best for Cate!

Do you recall your Dry July challenge last year? It was what helped me to greatly reduce my drinking. Made me aware both of how useless those calories are and that I really didn't need to drink much. I have not given up drinking but probably consume less than 10% of what I used to, your Dry July was a kind of turning point for me. Best of luck controlling it, I know you can and will.

 

[Cate]

A gentle and kind approach sounds so perfect Cate.
And, yes, the scale going up and down can sure throw one off--my scale just went up when I really feel it should have gone down. That is one thing about weighing myself all the time--i'm used to the variations by now!

I have decided to wait until the month is up to weigh. That feels like being gentle & kind to myself.

Wellbeing is so important to take care of, and it's easy to lose track of that. Good for you for having an approach that takes care of your emotional/mental health!

Mental health is often taken for granted, but I am aware when mine needs special care & now is the time.

Hey Cate, your mental health and alcohol consumption are a whole lot more important than weighing. Do what works best for Cate!
Do you recall your Dry July challenge last year? It was what helped me to greatly reduce my drinking. Made me aware both of how useless those calories are and that I really didn't need to drink much. I have not given up drinking but probably consume less than 10% of what I used to, your Dry July was a kind of turning point for me. Best of luck controlling it, I know you can and will.

Thanks, Rob. You're right. I didn't get far with my dry July challenge last year & am so glad you did. I am going to change my habit of relying on alcohol to unwind at the end of the day. It's a lifelong habit, therefore harder to change, but I'm on day 12 today & feeling quite happy about that. I want to have an occasional drink, rather than an almost everyday drink. It needs to be put back into its rightful place, just like chocolate & ice cream, cakes & candies.

Day 12 of no alcohol & <1550 cals & 2 walks a day. Next Monday I will tweak my plan a little more. I think I'll add squats again, but just a minimum of 10 each day to start off with as they do hurt my knees a bit. Maybe I won't try to squat so low & might add my barbie weights instead.
G managed to maneuver Arch onto his lap this morning so that I could use the laptop. Thank you, G.
I took Arch into town yesterday & we walked & walked. He loves socialising with other dogs & smelling all the smells & seeing on every post.
A dog actually attacked him up the street, which shook me up so badly I had to sit on a bench until I stopped shaking. It really frightened me. He wasn't hurt & was not shaken up by it all. The dog was on a lead & the owner seemed really nice & was embarrassed, but I should have read the cues. I'll know better next time & hold him back so that other dogs can't quite reach him to pounce. This dog I think was an unneutered boy dog, asserting his dominance. Seeing as Arch came from a home where he was bullied by a larger dog I am so relieved that he didn't seem bothered by it all. I realise that my emotions are super sensitive at the moment so it's maybe time to have some therapy. My heart just started pounding typing about the attack. It wasn't even that vicious. It just affected me a lot.