Cate's Diary

Glad you had a really good golfing day! Dreams about cars can be about psychological drives, and it's interesting you were in too big of a hurry to talk with someone with a shopping cart (less drive or motivation), but C helped you find your car again. I wonder if the buggy acting up could have contributed to that dream? I love playing with different meanings dreams could have. Please excuse me!
 
Thanks, Liza, Llama & Marsia. :grouphug:
Marsia, you can play with my dreams any time you like. I think that's why I tried remembering them. Each time I woke I tried really hard to remember the dream. Analyse away. I find it fun! I love psychology. I also want to remember this quote that I have taken from another diary entry-
Marsia said:
(My motto about these things is taken from Buddhist psychology - I try to remember to only believe the thoughts that are both true and helpful.)
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I am going to write this down.
liza3 said:
Good idea! Stay focused on that positive mindset after talking to the professionals!
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& don't google anything about this surgery!
Thanks, everyone xoxo
 
Thanks, Em. It is a great quote. I might add it to my signature & then I will see it every day. Competitive exercise is good for me & female company, especially when I get to choose the women.
 
Thanks Cate and Em! I tell myself that quote all the time, and K gets it a lot from me, too. It's from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which is part Buddhist therapy, part cognitive behavioral therapy. I did a part of a workbook with a friend on it to help us with social anxiety. We really loved it. Dreams are so amazing because they are like poems that the psyche speaks in, and you can interpret them in so many diverse ways. It's fun and sometimes really revealing, too.
 
I've heard a variation of that quote (though I can't remember the exact wording or where I came across it) about saying what you think. Something about asking yourself whether it's kind, helpful, and true, and only saying it if it's at least two of the three. Expanding that to what I tell myself would probably be a good idea, so thank you Marsia.
 
Marsia said:
Thanks Cate and Em! I tell myself that quote all the time, and K gets it a lot from me, too. It's from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which is part Buddhist therapy, part cognitive behavioral therapy. I did a part of a workbook with a friend on it to help us with social anxiety. We really loved it. Dreams are so amazing because they are like poems that the psyche speaks in, and you can interpret them in so many diverse ways. It's fun and sometimes really revealing, too.
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I ordered the book from the library, M. I joined G up a while ago as I always have so many books on hold & there's a limit of 15. "G" just ordered that one. The librarians are going to think he has very diverse tastes. :ROFLMAO: After my op, I need to have LOTS of books handy. I might buy some from the op shop too I think. I'll keep telling you about my dreams if I remember them!
Llama said:
I've heard a variation of that quote (though I can't remember the exact wording or where I came across it) about saying what you think. Something about asking yourself whether it's kind, helpful, and true, and only saying it if it's at least two of the three. Expanding that to what I tell myself would probably be a good idea, so thank you Marsia.
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That's a good idea, Llama before any of us say anything, either to ourselves or to anyone else xoxo
 
I hope "G" gets a lot out of his book! :) Some of those ACT books are rather dry, though the info in them is so good because it's all been researched and proven effective. I hope you got a beginner friendly ACT book and can really enjoy it. With dreams, your personal interpretations are the most important. There are common symbols and themes in dreams, but your personal associations and what they evoke in you are most important because dreams are not just universal themes. They are also about you trying to work out personal things from your waking life. So it's good to think about why you dreamed a dream at that particular time in your life.

Llama, I love your quote, too, and I hope it can help us all be kinder, more helpful, and true to ourselves. I am beginning to feel that sense of life being too short not to be good to myself so I can be good to others from a strong base in my life, and these sayings really epitomize that sentiment, I think.
 
I've also found ACT super helpful and like the idea of remembering to say what is true and helpful both to ourselves and others...course sometimes it's hard to discern what fits those, but a good idea to aim for that.
 
Thanks, Llama, Marsia, Liza & Em.
I read all of our library books first & then either put them in the section for G to read if I think he'll enjoy them or send them back to the library. Occasionally I'm not sure & they are usually the ones he abandons early. I have 3 books ready to pick up now & might go in to get them today or tomorrow. Mostly I read detective books, biographies & the occasional romance (but nothing schmaltzy). I don't go for big saga books, science fiction or horror.

I had a very weird dream last night. I was in this big building which was a cross between my high school and an old workplace. I had gone in to collect some of my things & I was off on sick leave. I had lots of jewellery on top of a cabinet & it had been damaged & no one seemed to care. I asked a team leader about it (who I used to like) & he shrugged. Archie was there & he was running amok (he never does) & someone was complaining that dogs shouldn't be inside & said they let him outside. I went looking for him in a panic & a truck went past & dropped a whole lot of white stuff which covered me totally & I put a basket over my head quickly( which I just happened to be carrying) & cursed our local council. A man was walking alongside me & he was covered too. I said it was super-phosphate. I said to this stranger that I would kill myself if my dog was dead. Eventually, I found him curled up fast asleep in one of those octagonal concrete pipes. Then I woke. Once again I tried hard to remember the details.

I think I can work out most of this dream. I had just been to where I used to work & the woman on check-in was familiar-looking. She worked in the same area as me back then & said there was hardly anyone left working there. You didn't have time to have much to do with the others and we were only vaguely familiar to one another. I have been worried about R as he is particularly down again & the dog that he has will be able to get out of almost any yard as he is a border collie. R is so restricted by where he can go & who he can leave his dog with. He leaves him at the kennels when he stays with C as he chews her furniture when left alone & she won't let the dog in her bedroom at all. His messages last night were so sad & I will ring him today. I have felt that if he loses one more dog it may tip him right over the edge. I wish he had got a little dog & not a puppy. The super-phosphate was because of getting white hands playing golf from something they paint in the holes & I woke short of breath with Asthma. Phew!

I alternate between stressing about the foot op & saying no to it & then I try to be logical & think how it will be better in the long term. If I had private health I would definitely delay it.
Edited at 1.45 pm to say I rang R this morning & he sounded a bit better. I suggested he come up for 2-3 nights next week. He works Tue, Wed & Thursday, he could pick his doggo up on Thursday & come straight up. He liked the sound of that. I felt much better about him after our chat & I think he did too as he messaged me a few times to tell me a few things he managed to do.
 
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A friend of a friend used to run ultra marathons and had a hyper energetic dog who'd train with her. Then she got a desk job and while they still ran 10-20km every day the dog just went ballistic due to lack of exercise so she bought him a dog treadmill to run on while she worked. Maybe R's dog needs more activity as well? Collies are such energetic, eager, intelligent dogs they really suffer when they're bored.
 
Cate said:
I had a very weird dream last night. I was in this big building which was a cross between my high school and an old workplace. I had gone in to collect some of my things & I was off on sick leave. I had lots of jewellery on top of a cabinet & it had been damaged & no one seemed to care. I asked a team leader about it (who I used to like) & he shrugged. Archie was there & he was running amok (he never does) & someone was complaining that dogs shouldn't be inside & said they let him outside. I went looking for him in a panic & a truck went past & dropped a whole lot of white stuff which covered me totally & I put a basket over my head quickly( which I just happened to be carrying) & cursed our local council. A man was walking alongside me & he was covered too. I said it was super-phosphate. I said to this stranger that I would kill myself if my dog was dead. Eventually, I found him curled up fast asleep in one of those octagonal concrete pipes. Then I woke. Once again I tried hard to remember the details.

I think I can work out most of this dream. I had just been to where I used to work & the woman on check-in was familiar-looking. She worked in the same area as me back then & said there was hardly anyone left working there. You didn't have time to have much to do with the others and we were only vaguely familiar to one another. I have been worried about R as he is particularly down again & the dog that he has will be able to get out of almost any yard as he is a border collie. R is so restricted by where he can go & who he can leave his dog with. He leaves him at the kennels when he stays with C as he chews her furniture when left alone & she won't let the dog in her bedroom at all. His messages last night were so sad & I will ring him today. I have felt that if he loses one more dog it may tip him right over the edge. I wish he had got a little dog & not a puppy. The super-phosphate was because of getting white hands playing golf from something they paint in the holes & I woke short of breath with Asthma. Phew!
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I can play around with your dream a little. I get a sense of emotions in reaction to things being neglected. (I forgot to mention that the emotions in dreams are super important, too, and to especially look out for them.) There is your jewelry which is broken and left in a big, anonymous workplace (think about what that space was used for and what you did there, where the space in your dream blends high school and workplace, maybe it takes elements in common or from both) where people didn't have a chance to get to know each other IRL. Jewelry is a form of personal wealth (can be about self value) and if you are really attached to it, it can be a form of identity (ex., I have a big diamond ring and have status; My jewelry is family heirlooms and ties me to my family or heritage; ...). Then your dog is let out and you can't find him, and there is a massive feeling of not wanting to live if you can't find him. Here you might want to think about what your dog stands for emotionally to you - loyal, unconditionally loving, like a child filled with wonder at the world, ... Maybe think about what is it you don't want to live without that Archie reminds you of? Often people look at the parts of dreams as parts of themselves. So, if you try on this kind of interpretation to see if it feels right, maybe this part of you got lost because someone unthinkingly let it out and it wandered away from you, but it did find shelter in some construction pipe - (something utilitarian, and is it used for drainage ditches? If so, water often stands for emotions, so he could be in a pipe that redirects emotions if there is an overspill of them?). Also, R's dogs may get loose and get hurt, like you are saying, so this also could be empathizing with him. But here the dog is found in the end, so what would that mean? You are also mistreated by the government (ones who govern things, whoever you associate with that) who dumped fertilizer on you. Funny symbolism because fertilizer is meant to make things grow, but not on people. Maybe in this part of the dream, there is a sense of contamination? And whatever you were feeling in that part of the dream may be tied to the golf club in some way because the memory is taken from getting white powder on you from there. It's really good that you protected your head from this - head may be thoughts, intellectual capabilities, ability to think clearly, ... I wonder if when you were having problems breathing, you dreamed the white powder part of your dream and protecting your head so you could breathe? Could that be anxiety over your allergies getting triggered? Anyway, just some random thoughts off the top of my head that may or may not be helpful. You'd have to play with it more, I think, but I do get a strong sense of neglect from this dream and of you being ok in the end because you protected your head and found your dog who had the good sense to climb somewhere safe and sleep until you could find him. It would be so fun to talk this one over in person. It seems like an anxiety dream to me where there is also some reassurance that things will work out ok.

Anyway, I hope you are feeling better now from the asthma attack. That sounds awful to wake up in that way. I'm glad you can have a nice visit with R for a few days!
 
It's great that you can remember your dreams! I somehow stopped doing that and it made me sad. They can be so useful for helping to figure out things you're working on or going through.
 
Thanks, Marsia :grouphug:
Oh, Marsia. You have no idea how helpful your interpretation of my dream is. I figured most of it out but you have added some extra interpretations & they are very helpful & I am grateful for that.
.At the moment my poor brain is fighting with all of the different parts of it. I usually would not share my dreams with anyone but I wanted to get this one down so I could analyse it & it helped me with that.
Anxiety over my allergies being triggered is one of my strongest at the moment. That fear is real as I will be going into a room afterwards with other people & I have no control over what they or their visitors use fragrance-wise. I will have a few masks handy & a packet of the lozenges that stop me from reacting so strongly to fragrance. I can't have any before the op. I have avoided ringing my sister as she's inclined to catastrophise & is a bigger worrier than me. I might get it over & done with today....soon...
MsBubbles said:
It's great that you can remember your dreams! I somehow stopped doing that and it made me sad. They can be so useful for helping to figure out things you're working on or going through.
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Dreams like that can be exhausting. This one sure needed some analysis though! I suppose it's best to get it out there.
Emilyrose said:
I'm really glad you had a nice chat with R and he is coming to visit. That will definitely cheer him up.
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Thanks, Em. It will cheer me up too! I might borrow some crutches beforehand & he can give me lessons. I was able to let him know that I would love to see him (with his dog) before my op but straight afterwards would be dangerous as I'm worried about how I'll cope with Archie not tripping me up. I also let him know that I think I'll need to sleep in the spare queen bed. I hope he comes up the weekend after this & not just before the op.

I'll ring the hospital today I think & see if I can get some equipment beforehand. I wish I had rails etc next to toilets. No one wants to admit they're getting on. It's time I future-proofed us a bit to enable us to stay here for longer comfortably into our old age. I'll look for more info online before ringing them.

I'm going to golf again tomorrow. It will do me good.
 
Handrails and extra-high toilets are easy enough to install diy in most houses. Does your municipality have a department dealing with mobility issues? Else the nearest physical therapist might be able to drop by for advice. Of course "near" is relative in your area... Removing loose carpets and other tripping hazards might be a good idea as well, but only if you don't plan to add them back in after healing. (Evidence on the danger of carpets varies but everyone seems to agree that if you want to keep tripping hazards around you shouldn't change them around and confuse your brain )
 
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