bluehats diary

It all sounds very controlling. Do you have your own income support, blue?Are you able to get help from anyone else?
 
Cate said:
It all sounds very controlling. Do you have your own income support, blue?Are you able to get help from anyone else?
Click to expand...

yes thankfully i have my own small income

its hard to get help without giving up
all privacy in a persons life
and with getting ripped into so much
by the family
i have trouble dealing with others because
i feel as though i cant guage their meaning
their intentions in interactions
im not sure if i said that right
i guess another way to say that would be
i dont have any trust of others
i dont really know what to say to other ppl
for fear of being ripped into
or hurt
yes its very controlling with the family
 
I understood what you meant. If you have had a backstory of being taken advantage of by people you have trusted, especially family, it would be hard to have faith in others. Becoming more independent and more capable of looking after yourself would be a very good thing. I feel for you, blue :grouphug:
 
todays food-
a store bought half price sandwich
choc almond milk

i found the almond milk on sale so got alot of it
it gets in nearly 4 cups of my advised 12 cups
even tho its probably supposed to be just water
i cant drink that much so thats better than just
the amount of water i do get in

its not true either--
that you wont gain weight
or that you will lose weight when
stopping binging
mine still goes up
despite less food
i guess the meds play a huge part
i asked a dr once why the meds
can make you gain weight despite
being careful how much you eat
he said that the meds alter your
metabolism
so you can be careful and still gain
i sincerely believe him too
so ive stopped fighting it
ive tried to not use the meds but
the conditions get worse
theres no answer
but 1 that i can think of
and that 1 is too late for me
and that is to NEVER let
yourself get fat
because its forever
 
still here
fighting the heat
and staying inside
but searching for shoes
that will go over the swelling
my very large shoes that are even
several sizes too large wont go on now
 
when will i be able to exercise again?
i swear my bodies out to get me lol
last summer a surgeon said no exercise
for 6 months i think it was(ending in sept)
then the ice came for 6 months
now the heats here and its the
swelling
with all the attempts between being leg pain
teeth infections
all i can think of now is maybe
the happy walk
as much of the 15 mins as i can
it will take a few days to figure out how
to do it where the fan is tho
idk
anyway hoping everyone is still safe and well
 
the heats real bad here
it takes nearly everything
to get offa chair to get
a drink or use the bathroom
im not even cooking
my feet look like balloons
i still havent found any shoes
but ive only had 2 chances to look
its kind of a struggle to breath too
my place has no windows
or id sacrifice to get ac
the thing is that
i have a cooler place to go
but they will scrape me off the
floor before i go there and be emotionally abused
just to be able to breath better
 
Cate said:
Is it possible for you to move somewhere more comfortable?
Click to expand...

ive been looking for another apt for several months
but i have only 497 cad for rent
with rents being in the 800s and up
this one is a rare priced one
at nearly 650
but has no windows
little hot water
mould
 
so i finally get 3 teeth out on monday
gonna be hard but needs done
i was lucky to get in so soon
last year it was 6 plus months
to get in
this time maybe a total of 4 months
 
saw a nice camera dr a few days ago
he wants me to lose weight
ok a perfectly good request
here comes the but
the food plan he suggests
also to help the diabetes with too
only water to drink
fruits vegetables protein
low carb
only eat for 8 hours
fast the rest of the time
i like it i really do
but can anyone see the issues id have with this?
there are 2 main ones
finances and few teeth
so i have alot of trying to figure how to do all this
but i have to have the teeth out first
then see my new chewing abilty
finances? idk

i really wanna a nice day
please?
 
I hope you got your nice day. Doesn't Canada offer rent support? That sounds like a lot of money for a terrible apartment if I'm honest. About the teeth: pureeing fruit and veg may not make the texture more appealing but it does help if you don't have good teeth.
 
Casseroles, soups & lightly stewed fruit might be the go for a while. Stewed apples are good, with a little yoghurt. It does not seem right that your rent is so high. As LaMa asked, is their no rent assistance in Canada. I thought Canada had a reasonable attitude to welfare. I am really glad your teeth are going to be attended to soon. That is a relief.
 
ive been on the list for affordable housing for 6 plus years
and due to some recent policy changes the list grows longer
because units are being withdrawn
i was told 6 months would be the wait time
when i applied at first
 
well theres the teeth done at last
2 of the 4 they wanted to remove
i refused the other 2 based on that they
dont bother me
now id rather just forget i ever went
 
so been researching on ways
to make veggies soft
now with 4 bottom teeth left
spaced from each other so they
cant help each other break food down
plus i need to figure how to eat veggies
protein and fruit only as the dr said
on 5 dollars a day
with 5 carrots at 3 bucks
1 tomato at 2 bucks
4 onions at 2.50
unprocessed fresh meats at 5 bucks a pound cheapest
4 peppers at 5 bucks
12 eggs 3.50
i havent checked turnip or squash prices yet

pretty wicked prices
i will have 1 store 1 x a week
so no sales unless they are there that day
where i am shopping
one thing that will help is that
i already cut fruit out mostly so no figuring those in
i havnt made a meal plan from these yet
but its looking roughly something like this
3 eggs a day for protein
2 or 3 pieces of veggies
not sure maybe a little more
i have not figured it out yet
 
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