bluehats diary

Cate said:
Once that happens you could try rationing it. It would be a good feeling to regain control of your food.
How did the dentist visit go?
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i got referred to a dental surgeon for a consult
which is a month wait
then it usually takes 3 or 4 months after that
to get the work done
very disheartening
with the pain level
i already have
knowing its that much longer
with the pain
i dont understand why so long for a
5 minute job
 
I'm sorry you have to wait that long in pain. There's something very wrong with a system that would allow that. :grouphug:
 
i went and ate with the family
and i just cant suck it up anymore
i only end up hurting myself-
with a binge or tossing out my food
so i cant binge
im fighting tossing it out right now
i would go somewhere outside but
its not safe alone

i really just want a nice day
 
i didnt binge or throw it away
but today was worse
and im trying to think of things i can do with
the overwhelming emotions
(i just endured 4 hours of anger ridicule fault finding
from the nice person and the mean person)
because i made a legally required report to my income ppl
which lost me 65 a month
i knew i would lose it but i no longer qualify for it
but they are angry at me and made it clear that i was
wrong to make the report and lose that money
so i dont know what to do with my feelings now
throwing away food or binging are negative things
id like better ones
having a bath or going outside arent options
and ive seen many lists of coping skills
but so far havent been able to find a satisfactory
one that helps those overwhelming emotions
especially that the nice person turned on me
and agreed with the mean one
thats a betrayal
so was i really wrong to report a legally required
report?
it was about my income not theirs so thats not an issue
in case someone wondered
 
You were right to do the legally required thing. You can get into legal trouble ignoring that kind of stuff! And I´m so sorry your nice person sided with the mean person. What I do when I´m angry/sad/frustrated and I can´t go out or vent at people who´ll understand is turn on music that fits my mood and sing along loudly.
 
what i ended up doing was
watching a few sad war movies on
the free tubi i have
its cool and i dont seem to get as
many ads as other ppl say they get
 
Sounds like a similar thing. Sometimes making yourself feel more sad is what helps you feel better afterwards. I´m glad you found something that worked :grouphug:
 
LaMaria said:
That´s not a lot. But at least you seem to be eating. How are you holding up with the food storage?
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the storage thing didnt go well at first
so i put 3 or 4 heavy bins on top of the 2
food bins
its going to take some work getting to it
so that shud deter me
we hope anyway
 
the prices are gone-
due to covid i guess-
way out of my league
so its just frozen veggies
and meat if some comes on sale
theres nothing cheap right now
maybe next week
or a family leftover
 
I had heard that people were hoarding again in the US. If you do get a chance buy some canned soups or stews & work out how you can ration them out. Can you order from a supermarket & get it delivered?
 
Cate said:
I had heard that people were hoarding again in the US. If you do get a chance buy some canned soups or stews & work out how you can ration them out. Can you order from a supermarket & get it delivered?
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i may be able to
im terrified now of asking my family
or the previously known as nice person
after the day they ganged up on me
about doing the legally required report
but if i get caught ordering that way
i will be in trouble too
i think my family is a little messed up
and takes it out on me
not sure whats going to happen
at this point
 
bluehat said:
todays food--
im not sure of any
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i just got brought about 1 cup of leftovers
so its food
anyway
 
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