bluehats diary

I really hope you're surgery goes well!
 
dear diary
totally dont want friday to come
a few days ago i tried to think of
ways to stop it
like maybe if i didnt eat they would
find my electrolites low like last time
but that didnt work the hungers too
relentless
maybe make my blood sugar too high?
um maybe pray for an earthquake?

food--
the store made bbq chicken breast
likely not getting the 12 cups water in but
will try

very much pain the last few days
alot but nothing i can do
still have household jobs to do
 
Please don't damage your health to postpone necessary surgery! Best to get it over with, even though I understand it's not something you look forward to.
 
22 store made chicken strips
200 grams ketchup chips
200 grams dill pickle chips
500 grams chocolate coconut fudge cookies
12 cups water
(all spread out over 11 hours)
 
dear diary
i am in a situation again
where i must make a decision
that will hurt someone--(emotionally)
no matter what way i decide
i have to choose between 2 people again
either will be hurt
who do i choose?
and im very sad having to make that choice

how this relates to food--
if i hadnt have already ate
i would be throwing it all out
for whatever the reason is
somehow throwing out my food
seems to help
but i already ate it

ive sort of already made my choice
so now being sad i hate myself because
i know the person is hurt
and i dont what to do
there is nothing i can do
and i truly know i did nothing
wrong even if the person hurts
because i was forced to make my decision
but its sad

anyway maybe better days ahead
 
dear diary
well im up and
absolutely starving
and so thirsty
but theres still 3 hours
plus a few after before
i can drink and eat
hopefully i can come back
and post again
as my body doesnt react
well to surgeries and has nearly
killed me in 2 surgeries
 
just alot of pain for now i hope
and i kept asking if the dr got
it all but none of the nurses seemed
to know anything but that i do a
followup appt in 2 weeks
earlier i was told it would be
1 week later but i guess they
could'nt get me in until 2 weeks
so more waiting for exercise
and more getting fatter

been trying to eat just soft liquidy
foods as for some reason its hard to drink
and theres no physical reason for any trouble
to drink
 
I hope the pain gets less very soon. Pain sucks. Maybe being miserable is making drinking water hard? Our brains do lots of weird things. For now I´m just glad you got through surgery ok.
 
dear diary
i had to resort to sweetener sweetened
things to drink as i still dont feel up to it
so i got diet iced tea and sugar free juices
for a few days
not getting the 12 cups in though

the soft liquidy food- food choices
are not agreeing with my blood sugar
wow
so as soon as i eat all the yogurts
and kd's its back to low carb maybe keto
again
its feels so gross with all the insulin i have to
use to support the soft food foods
in a few days hopefully
 
dear diary

todays food--
3 cups pea soup
yogurt 650 grams
( i threw out the can and carton before
i noted the calories)
diet iced tea

if im hungry later--
3 cups pea soup maybe
 
I'm glad you at least have something to eat. I'm surprised pea soup should spike your blood sugar levels but then packaged food is often weird.
 
dear diary

food today--
3 store made meatballs (approx. 1/2 pound)
3 cups pea soup
2 store made sausages
water i dont know
 
cant do the weight "things" anymore
too much other pressure about other things
right now and alot of pain and stress and
no exercise and hard to drink
i cant do the weight "things" on a good day
let alone under my current circumstances
i might still post my food but its likely not
going to be any good right now
 
Don't worry. If you don't feel like posting about food, you don't have to. But you are still welcome to post. We still want to hear from you! I truly hope that things settle down for you soon.
 
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