bluehats diary

Had my phone appt. And he's happy I seem to be doing well.
I get sad after tho.
Because I wish he would prescribe me the insulin that I don't get so many side effects from. None in fact.
And it requires 2 same dose injections a day.
I find that all the figuring with these newer insulin does not help my food obsession.
Because with the one you take with your food it always changes always needs figured out always needs planned. Especially for a person who isn't able to eat the same foods or similar so the dose can be the same. I have to eat according to sales so it makes my doses always different. Plus i have 2 tips so i have to reuse them which hurts and with the 2x a day insulin that also works out better.

But he doesn't have time to hear all that explained.
How the other insulin is so much easier for me. For my life situation.
But there isn't anyone to see. Millions of ppl are without Dr's so I'm very lucky I have him even being nearly a days car drive away.
So it's just another sad thing in my life.
 
Too discouraging trying and trying and getting no where.
Time to quit beating my head against the wall.
I want more to do than think about food. For nothing.
 
Still here. Just needed a break.
Working on some issues of acceptance.
Meaning that I have to accept certain things.
Like not being able to eat healthy or exercise.
Not being able to be medication free.
Not ever Not feeling hungry always.
Not ever knowing what it's like to be reasonably thin.

So at this time I'm doing a non diet, accept where my body goes kind of thing.
Only this time instead of just eating how much I want I'm choosing 1500 calories and hoping to maintain my recent weight loss.
So far-- the weight is creeping up.
So far failing.
As usual.
But it's a hard choice--
Eat alot less to maintain or eat fairly. Still hungry either way so?
Idk.
In 1 week I do my weight again see if I have to try something else.
Today's weight--
252 lbs
 
The idea of accepting your weight where it goes when eating healthy and a certain amount of calories -a healthy amount -
Was from my b/p counseling when I was in my 30s. But the calorie amount suggested was 1600 and I was walking every day and doing farm work and chasing a toddler around.
I wonder if now at nearly 59 no exercise whatsoever if 1500 is too much and that's why the weight going up?
 
bluehat said:
The idea of accepting your weight where it goes when eating healthy and a certain amount of calories -a healthy amount -
Was from my b/p counseling when I was in my 30s. But the calorie amount suggested was 1600 and I was walking every day and doing farm work and chasing a toddler around.
I wonder if now at nearly 59 no exercise whatsoever if 1500 is too much and that's why the weight going up?
Click to expand...
And weirdly enough not 1 pound ever came off with all this activity.
 
Very sad cause I know how I should eat for my health issues.
But my situation doesn't allow me to.
One of my close family members has food issues that cause vomiting and the runs so much so that she can never know what's safe to eat. She's sought medical help but they can't do anything. She's concluded that it's better to be hungry than sick.
I sort of feel that way too only in a different way. Like it's better to be hungry than know that I'm doing harm to my medical issues. Such as high salt foods - soups and other processed foods- being bad for blood pressure. And cheap pasta meals (canned beefaroni/lasagna- which I can swallow straight so no pain-)
being bad for blood sugar.
The foods better for my conditions are out of my reach.
Sometimes I'd rather cry than eat.
 
Not sure what's going on now.
My food is somehow hurting my mouth and causing bleeding.
So no more fish sticks or cheddar. There goes my protein sources.
Still looking like the only thing that doesn't hurt is liquids.
But idk how to do a liquid diet with any semblance of being healthy.
And there's no help out there. Even tho I can see a dietitian. They keep suggesting foods can't eat because it's too expensive or bad for my health conditions.
I guess just drink water and what?
Fruit juice is not recommended. Vegetable juice is real salty and lower salt versions are many dollars higher. The nutritional drinks put my blood sugar up way higher than recommended.
What's left?
 
Blue, if a nutritionist can't come up with any ideas I don't think I can either. I have tried. I think I would see a nutritionist again & ask yet again.
 
Since I can No longer tolerate the meds.side effects i need to do my own thing to help my t2.
Not like I wasn't already but I can retry a strategy I did before.
And that is restricted carbs.
I used to do 50 grams a day. I can't recall now if I did well with that but I think I did. That should also keep my weight down as for me to do 50 grams with the food I'm able to buy it will automatically reduce the calories.
I will try to post some meals and results.
I hope this post gets thru. I've tried 3x to post it.
 
Cate said:
Blue, if a nutritionist can't come up with any ideas I don't think I can either. I have tried. I think I would see a nutritionist again & ask yet again.
Click to expand...
If I can come up with $6.40 extra I can try that.
And thank you for trying to come up with ideas for me.
 
Today's results--
No weight taken (as it seems I'm not allowed this control).
Food--
Family homemade puree leftovers. Made with:
Raw frozen green peppers.
Raw onions.
Various spices. Canned tomatoes. Canned tomato soup. Canned pasta sauce.
Ground beef.
I don't know the carbs. in all that as I don't know the amount I had. Going by my fullness it would seem between 2 and 3 cups worth.
No other foods.

Better luck tomorrow on knowing the carb. amount.
 
Yeah I was going to suggest puréed butternut squash or eggplant. Both are delicious to eat.

Maybe turkey with gravy.
 
Another unexpected 80 dollar hit this month. That's 20 days of food gone.
I need to somehow space those days out of no food.
Maybe eat every other day.
At least til the end of the month when paid next.

Why do I try?
 
vic32 said:
Yeah I was going to suggest puréed butternut squash or eggplant. Both are delicious to eat.

Maybe turkey with gravy.
Click to expand...
Sounds very good. And I can eat fowl with no issues so far.
 
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