bluehats diary

So what do you plan to do instead of binging? Having something solid planned gives you a better chance than hope and fear. Can you go out, see or call someone nicer than that family member after meeting them? Writing or even ranting on here about it may feel weird but getting those negative feelings out and needing to specify what exactly makes you feel bad can be helpful in dealing with those feelings. Maybe while they're there remind yourself regularly in your head that what they say is cruel/untrue/unnecessary/just their opinion. Or try to observe which kind of remarks touch you most of all and why. Either exercise might help to keep you in an observer's role, which to me feels a little less vulnerable. Best of luck!
 
10 minutes on bike yay again

going to have to
hold it to the 10
for longer than i want.
beginning to get the
pain back
outside of the cycling times .
but very happy so far
at my consistency
 
LaMaria said:
So what do you plan to do instead of binging? Having something solid planned gives you a better chance than hope and fear. Can you go out, see or call someone nicer than that family member after meeting them? Writing or even ranting on here about it may feel weird but getting those negative feelings out and needing to specify what exactly makes you feel bad can be helpful in dealing with those feelings. Maybe while they're there remind yourself regularly in your head that what they say is cruel/untrue/unnecessary/just their opinion. Or try to observe which kind of remarks touch you most of all and why. Either exercise might help to keep you in an observer's role, which to me feels a little less vulnerable. Best of luck!
Click to expand...

i dont have any plans yet
i tried to make some awhile back
but havent come up anything

i did binge last night but on salads
so probably didnt do any weight gain
damages anyway
just a painful stomach and the usual
shame and self hate and feeling of
loss of control

at least i still have the higher calorie foods
left to eat for a few days
i can be grateful for that
and that i didnt get overwhelmed enough
to throw it out
so there is some positive this time to
the whole thing

there isnt any way to go see a nicer person
because that nicer person lives with the meaner
person and doesnt understand the situation
(despite my explaining it)
and to see the nicer person i have to see the
meaner one
its hard to explain
its just always been set up that way
and i have had no choice to see the
nicer person without the meaner person involved
it happens sometimes but its rare
(that i get to see the nicer one without
the mean one)

im not really able to say alot more detail
as i dont know if the mean one reads diet
groups online

so im hoping supper goes well very shortly
and i can eat a proper amount and not all the food here
 
bluehat said:
i did binge last night but on salads
so probably didnt do any weight gain
damages anyway
just a painful stomach and the usual
shame and self hate and feeling of
loss of control
Click to expand...
You didn't lose control though, did you? Not really. You were strong and resisted the urge to eat all the high-calorie stuff, even though you were feeling bad. So what if you ate a lot of salad? The pain in your stomach sucks, of course, but it'll pass. Great work!
I am very sorry your social life is so difficult for you. I would like to repeat my recommendation to read some of the archived posts about family at Captain Awkward. She has some great insights into how human relationships work and how we might learn to deal with them more easily.
 
pc acting up :rolleyes:
yesterday had
1 cup ground beef 500
1 cup tomatoes it was cooked in 70
1 can ham 210
 
That's excellent because most people gain weight every year. Even more so just after they stop purging. So congratulations!

I agree that sticking to those 10 minutes is probably a good idea for now. Let your muscles adjust before you go higher.
 
4 slices peameal (family made-dont know the weight so dont know the calories)
2 cups cauliflower "mashed potatoes" (family made, dont know any calories or what was in it)
4 date squares 880
 
Average size fat bombs tend to be 150-200 cal a piece so if you didn´t eat more than 6 or so you´re probably fine. And even if you ate ten you´re still not breaking the bank unless that cauli mash or duck had a ton of butter. Another good day!
 
yesterday
10 minutes bike
2 dq cheeseburgers 800
1 chocolate sundae 570

today
12 meatballs 1200
1 cup leftover cauliflower "mashed potatoes"
 
10 minutes bike
chips 1040
 
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