Whisper's Diary

[whispers65]

Hey Tom, you have found some interesting things... but be careful not to put too much stock in the DNA analysis. The low cost consumer DNA analysis we can get is notoriously only semi-accurate. I took the 23 and me test, and so did some of my relatives. Our relationships were not always consistent. For example I have a first cousin who shows up as a brother, but he it too old for that to be possible, born when my parents were just kids. And a first cousin who shows up as a second. So be careful about jumping to too many conclusions. I think the tests are generally accurate, but not very precise, ie if you show up as mostly Irish you are not likely Chinese, but exact family relationships are not as good. See Curious 23andMe twin results show why you should take DNA testing with a grain of salt

Sorry just saw this. I don't think DNA is 100% and have gone into with that in mind. I did a lot of research (I worked 34 years researching so that's my first inclination). I've also backed up with results with known relatives and so forth. So I do try and take everything with a grain of salt. https://techcrunch.com/2019/01/18/d...hould-take-dna-analysis-with-a-grain-of-salt/

Relationship errors like that happen, don't think the test is definitive. It could tell you if your sister was genetically unrelated to someone, but errors in exact relationships are not unusual.

Yeah, if they say 1st cousin or 2nd cousin or whatever and if I don't know, I put it on the back burner until I can prove otherwise. I always like multiple sources of backup to prove anything. Kinda the way I am.

How close are your unknown and known relatives? 23 and me gives the option of contacting people named as your relatives, it is anonymous so only works if the person responds. I contacted one such person, he showed up as a second cousin but was no one I had ever heard of, and his last name was not familiar. Turned out we were third cousins, and there are lots of those I don't know, so nothing earth shattering...

Actually, the new family (new to me anyway) contacted me and I replied back about a year ago and now we are contacting each other again in light of new information. It's funny this family has lived in the same places as my family (mother's and dad's side). It's uncanny. And according to Ancestry there have been cross overs a couple of times some 6 or 7 cousins back. It's interesting but that's it for right now. My parents slept around on each other a LOT, but I'm not interested in all of that. I could care less about the dirt on anyone. I'm more interested on where people lived, what jobs they had, education, etc. Everyone has some skeletons I'm sure.

Do you have a DNA test for him? That should tell you, trying to figure it out without his DNA may not be possible given the accuracy of the tests we get. More elaborate DNA testing could help, but its not availably to most consumers, and would cost a lot.

We do not have DNA on him, but we've thought about the possibilities. My sister is going to reach out to a 1st cousin. So will provide some information that we are looking for.

My father lived in the Philippines in the 80s, at that time you could hire a maid for $1 or $2 a day. The Filipinos were very poor people, all Americans I met had maid and other servants. It was really a necessity to lower the risk of being robbed.

That matters more than genetic relationships. No matter what the DNA says you are a good person, and so is anyone who loves you. I do however understand the curiosity and desire to know.

Thanks for the info on the Philippines. I've always felt a connection there although I was just born there with no real ties.

Bottom line to me, I just want to know who my real father is. I'm not into blame or anything like that. I know a lot of the history of our family and there were many interesting situations. I'm looking for from a factual perspective rather than an emotional one.

 

[whispers65]

New Year's Resolutions -----

I fell asleep really early last night and then about 8:30pm I woke with a start. I couldn't breathe. It was like my throat area was having spasms. Really bad feeling. I felt like I was going to die. Anyway, about the time I was able to sit up and try to get my sister (I couldn't move much, but her dog in her room heard me and alerted her to come and check - she wears headphones), it went away and I felt fine after that, although there was much anxiety with the thought of going back to sleep.

I've woken up before with choking and sinuses or where it feels like my throat closes up, but not the noise and spasm feeling.

With the holidays, I ate horrible the last two days - pizza, beef, ice cream, chocolate, etc. I had also used some nose drops to open my nose up and did my ears with peroxide to open my ears up. Then immediately after all of this, I went to sleep. I know already when I lie down I get acid up into my mouth on occasion. It hasn't been as bad lately. In retrospect, this was the worst cocktail that I could have had. All of the foods are my triggers.

After the episode, I felt really acidic - mouth dry, stomach sour, and belching acid. Not the first time, but I felt like I had turned into a dragon for a short while.

Fortunately, unfortunately, my nephew has this same problem and I didn't know about it. So he was able to talk me down from the ceiling. He described exactly what I went through. I also watched some youtube videos and it was like what I experienced.

Soooooooo......

What I eat needs to get better. We get what we can afford and that's not that great sometimes. I need to eat less. I'm not gaining weight, but I want to lose. So....watch anything to do with chicken and cow. And if I eat ice cream it needs to be my ice cream made of almond milk, cashew milk, or something like that. I also had some ferrero rochers last night. Thankfully, I only eat those around christmas lol.

So I think it wasn't anything in particular, but the combination of everything.

So New Year's Resolutions:

1) Lose weight! LOL.
2) Continue to work out. Add some posture exercises and split the day work out into 2
3) Find out who my dad is.
4) Yoga and stretching. I hate both, but I get a lot of benefits from both.

Even still with all of the stresses, I am rather proud of myself. I've worked out for 11 weeks now. Even though I haven't lost weight, I am down 6 inches from last month. I am noticeably slimmer and feel more muscular so I know what I am doing is working.

And I may have a little money coming my way.

And in light of the DNA results, I feel different. I look at things different. It's actually freeing. I'm letting go of some of that dungeon programming. Just because someone in the family says something about me doesn't mean it's true, nor do I have to bow down to that abuse any longer.

 

[Cate]

I fell asleep really early last night and then about 8:30pm I woke with a start. I couldn't breathe. It was like my throat area was having spasms. Really bad feeling. I felt like I was going to die.

Oh, Tom. That sounds very scary!
I have had a few coughing fits lately, after having had Covid last month & my Asthma has been much worse. I had an asthma attack this morning which frightened me. My NY resolution is to look after my health as best I can. I would love to feel fit & healthy.
It's Christmas morning here in Aus so I'm wishing you & your sister & nephew a Merry Christmas. I hope you have a lovely day xo

 

[whispers65]

Oh, Tom. That sounds very scary!
I have had a few coughing fits lately, after having had Covid last month & my Asthma has been much worse. I had an asthma attack this morning which frightened me. My NY resolution is to look after my health as best I can. I would love to feel fit & healthy.
It's Christmas morning here in Aus so I'm wishing you & your sister & nephew a Merry Christmas. I hope you have a lovely day xo

I can't imagine having asthma. I feel for you there. I would love to feel fit & healthy too. Here's to a great year where we both feel better. Thank you. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas. Since you live in the future, you already have a the jump on me lol.

 

[whispers65]

Brrrrrr...it is freezing. Our kitchen pipes are frozen and we're trying to figure out how to get them unthawed. It won't get above freezing until Wednesday. So fun stuffies.

Trying to make some money. A lot of these problems can go away then. But easier said than done.

On the unknown father front, I've enlisted the help of DNAngels and another lady. The goal is to find out a name. I have no interest in disrupting anyone's life or anything like that. I just want to know who my dad was and what he was like. In all likelihood he is deceased so I'll never get to know him anyway. AS far as the rest of the family, one member has reached out to me already and wanted to know who I am. They reached out to me first. This was all unexpected. I thought she was just one of my mom's relatives that I'd had never met until she pointed out that there was more to it then that. I had no idea.

So my world is kind topsy turvy again along with all of the previous probs lol. I'm taking it all in stride. DNAngels does have resources for counseling and I've reached out to my previous counselor that I had a long time ago. It was good hearing from her and I do have the option of virtual sessions.

all in all trying to stay in good spirits. My birthday is in a couple of days. I'm still working out and trying to lose weight, although most important component I'm working on is exercise.

It's been a year, 2 days ago, that my died passed away. Unbelievable year that is has been.

 

[Cate]

Are your frozen pipes accessible, Tom? I'm glad it doesn't get that cold here! Brrr! Is your birthday on the 16th? I'll be able to wish you Happy Birthday first
You seem to be doing well & I love how much more active you are. I think trying to stay in good spirits helps.

 

[Llama]

It must have been a weird one-year remembrance given the generally strained relationship plus all the dna stuff. Yikes on the pipes!

 

[whispers65]

Are your frozen pipes accessible, Tom? I'm glad it doesn't get that cold here! Brrr! Is your birthday on the 16th? I'll be able to wish you Happy Birthday first
You seem to be doing well & I love how much more active you are. I think trying to stay in good spirits helps.

The pipes are accessible. We went outside and patched and covered everything the best we could (we are no carpenters and our brothers who claimed to say they are, but did not fix their mistakes). Inside, we try and covered everything and used 2 space heaters to try and thaw the pipes. However, these space heaters are only good for the 2-3 inches right in front of the space heater it seems. The entire house is sub freezing. I slept with wool socks plus another pair of socks, fleece blanket covered by comforter covered by fleece blanket covered by comforter, but still couldn't stay warm. My feet and hands are freezing. It snowed last night and temps are about 10 degrees which is extremely cold for us. It'd be different if our house was warm.

My birthday is on the 17th. thanks for the early!

All and all I'd say I'm doing pretty well and upbeat despite the avalanche of stuff. I'd still like to win the lottery and pay my bills off so I wouldn't have to worry about them and get my sister out of her job;. She has to go in this morning. I told her just to take it really slow. Her job is so mean to her and she continually has to deal with sexual harassment.

 

[whispers65]

It must have been a weird one-year remembrance given the generally strained relationship plus all the dna stuff. Yikes on the pipes!

Thanks. It's extremely weird. Sometimes, I don't know which way is up any more. I just gotta keep moving along.

 

[Llama]

 

[Cate]

Oh, that is SO cold! -12C Brrrr!!!!
We used to live in a building that had lots of exposed pipes & they froze once & a few burst when the temp got down to -6C.
I love that you think of your sister & making her life better, Tom. You're a good person. I won't wish you a happy birthday until the day (here).

 

[overlandflyer]

We used to live in a building that had lots of exposed pipes & they froze once & a few burst when the temp got down to -6C.

of all the substances on earth that are liquid at room temperature, water is that only one that expands when it freezes. all the rest contract. we're pretty fortunate that it does. that's why ice floats. if ice sank, the oceans would be frozen solid and there would be no life.

 

[Cate]

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday,
dear Tom,
Happy Birthday to you!!!
​

 

[vic32]

Happy Birthday!!!

 

[Llama]

Congratulations, Tom, and all the best for the upcoming year.

 

[whispers65]

It's been a while update:

Pipes - Still working on pipes, but we have had water for a while now. There's only a tiny leak at this point, not enough to effect the water bill much at all. We replaced part of one pipe. There's still a leak under the kitchen sink. My sister bought new fixtures that she liked and we are going to replace that part. We are planning on replacing the pipe underneath the sink also, as well as trying to insulate what we have so we don't keep having this problem over and over and over again. We are also going to replace the washers in the bathtub to cut out that leak also. A lot of little things, but it makes us feel better.

Father - Still don't know who my father is. I know the last name and several candidates, but haven't heard back from anyone. I bought a new genealogy program. And I've decided to move forward on both families. On my dad's side, people keep asking for stories and so forth. And on the "new family" side, I'd like to know more about them for myself. Normally, when I have a problem of this magnitude, I'm basically frozen until the problem is solved. In this case, realistically, I may never find out who my father is so I need to move on. The new software is old, but it has a lot of features that I really like. I got it last night, so I need to try and delve into it more today. The good news is that our 1st cousin took his DNA test and hopefully we will hear something by next week. It'll be the 4th week. So we should find out about my sister for sure. Information is King.

Weight Loss - It's really slow. My sister and I are trying to figure out how I can lose weight. I just finished up my 19th week of weight lifting workouts. I walk about 6000 steps a day. So I'm spending like 90 minutes a day on exercise. Calories are lower than what they recommend. I'm just not losing very fast. I am excited to take measurements at the end of the month. The workouts are paying off somehow. I can look down and see all the way to the floor. I'm generally big all over, so I've never had a huge belly or anything, but still. I feel a lot thinner even though that big mean old scale refuses to admit it. My sister is doing great. She was around 280 and now down to 233 this morning. I'm trying to do what she does, but I'm 6 years older and it doesn't quite work the same on me so far.

$$$ - I didn't win the lottery, but I did win about 5K. I put 25% back on taxes. I gave my sister 1k, plus a hundred or so to her and my nephew. It doesn't fix any big problem like bills, car, house, hernia, teeth, etc, but it allowed us to feel a little better about our situation, give us renewed hope, and give us a few quality of life changes. I needed new shoes, especially walking shoes since I do walk quite a bit. I didn't buy new shoes, but I did buy some heel pads to repair that part so my heel won't rub anymore. And I ordered an insole replacement to help, so hopefully my feet won't hurt as much. The insole is supposed to be for support, shock absorbent, etc.

So all in all really good......the lies ended Dec 31, 2023.

 

[Cate]

Oh, Tom. Thanks for the update. It's great to hear some good news, especially that you can make some everyday quality-of-life changes for the better. Your sister is doing very well with her weight-loss. It should start happening with you too soon with all of your good work.

 

[whispers65]

Throwback Thursday....

A few years back in 1983, I was a senior in high school. Upon graduation, I received a total $80, a shirt, and a fishing pole from relatives congratulating me. That summer I made a few extra dollars and bought my first computer. It was a Commodore Vic-20. It cost $87. It didn't have a way to save programs. I would type programs in for hours from a magazine and then try to run it. If it hung up the machine, then I'd have to turn if off and start all over again.

Then a little while later, I upgraded and bought a Commodore 64. I bought a dataset (cassette recorder) to save programs and eventually bought a floppy drive. Then, I could type in the programs and save them. It also opened up the world of buying games.

Those were the days....I loved it and really enjoyed that part of my life.

Fast forward to yesterday. I don't need it, but I wanted it. I could have downloaded emulators off the Internet, but still. My Commodore 64 mini arrived via Amazon. I also purchased a couple of books and a retro t-shirt. I plan on doing an unboxing today.

Life is funny. In the book I received, "Commodore 64 Sketch and Design - Design sprites, custom characters, screens, and music on the C64" written by Tony Lavoie, he writes an introduction. In 1983, he was a senior in high school and got his first computer. It was a commodore Vic-20. He then months later he received a Commodore 64. The same as me.

Well, if nothing else, I have at least one nerdy soulmate.

 

[Cate]

Well, if nothing else, I have at least one nerdy soulmate.

I love it! I'm sure you have a lot more nerdy soulmates, Tom.

 

[whispers65]

Update:

Stomach Virus - I just assumed that once I threw up and felt better, I was good to go. I forget that was mainly upper stomach and it may take the intestines a day or two to get back to normal. I worry a lot lol.

Projects - All of my projects have been put on hold due to the stomach virus. I literally only felt like hanging my head while sitting in a chair. I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I still want to do some retro game programming, do something artsy even it is putting together a puzzle, and learn a language. I watched a lot of piano vids on youtube last night.

Dreams - Lately, lots of dreams about school and work. Work is the worst. People talk down to me and make me feel like crud and say everything is my fault. While in reality they did treat me that way, but I did do a good job and worked there 34 years and I documented everything I did. I don't miss it. I just wish I could get the dreams out of my head. For school, there is something in those dreams, that's why when I do things like exercise or programming, I consider it as P.E. and an elective lol. School isn't a bad thing. It was one of the things that really helped me through a difficult life.

Ankle - I woke up with what feels like a sprained ankle. Ridiculous. I'm hobbling around using a walking stick. I was fine yesterday. I did sit with my leg underneath me for a while. That's a no no really. My hip usually hurts after that. I just get tired of "sitting in the correct position". With being sick an all, sitting got old, but I didn't feel like doing anything else. It wasn't comfortable. Then last night in bed, I had a calf cramp. Those are fun. Probably, lack of fluids or moving fluids around. I did get my drinking up to 50-60 oz yesterday. I focused on replacing electrolytes. For my ankle, I put some icy hot on it and going to try and maybe ice it down when my sister gets up. Normally, I get up before they do and do a list of things, but today I'll need some help accomplishing the little things.