Whisper's Diary
- Thread starter whispers65
- Start date
whispers65
(Tom)
Well I panicked this morning. I really hate that. I am hate going to doctors and I called to get a prescription renewed (very long story) and it was, but just the thought of it drove me into a panic. I've always been terrified of having my blood pressure taken, which of course makes it worse. I really don't care about anything else, it's just that. If I can just relax. I've been this way since I was a kid.
The one thing that would help if it were high is to lose weight, which I am trying but not being very successful at. I'm down a whopping 10 lbs, which they say even benefits blood pressure. If makes me anxious even typing the words "blood pressure".
I did the refill online even. Didn't have to talk to anyone this time. But I was so stressed out, even though I'm sicker than a dog still, that I went for a walk to ease the stress.
There's just so much going on. Today, we have an enhanced risk of severe storms. A little bit more of a chance than normal. I'm still fairly sick but better. My headache is better. My sinuses are slightly better. I'm really congested. I'm taking meds for it. I had a pretty bad optical migraine this morning. But, honestly compared to how I've been feeling, I do feel better.
No word on the father front. I've given up and moving on.
We won some more money so I'm kinda proud of the fact that not only have I had a little money coming in, that I've provided my sister with a little bit also. It doesn't help all of the major things, but gives us a little hope.
My sister has been following my weight loss advice and she went from 270's down to 220's now. I'm doing the same thing, but not going anywhere fast. I am older by 6 years and more decrepit so there is that.
Today, starts Camp Nanowrimo where I attempt to write a novel or at least work on one. I'm going to revisit my cyberpunk novel which I never seem to complete. But at least I know why I am writing it. I've always written about sons and fathers where the father is mainly absent and things don't go well for the son. I have several of these types of novels that I'd like to complete. But lately, I'm like even if the boy is in this bad predicament, what if someone came along and helped him to where everything works out in the end. That's what I'm working on. So at least, I know why I'm writing this kind of material because it is my subconscious working out my own life. It's like I knew my dad wasn't my father all along. But, I didn't know. I just felt it.
anyway, I'm going to work on writing, try to get my sinuses and cough better and headache and congestion, blah blah. I'm trying a variety of things like halls cough drops, vicks vaporub, flonase, tylenol, zinc lozenges, saline solution, gargling with warm salt water, getting rest went I can get it and trying to drink more water.
And the lady my sister works with went to the doctor and it is a viral thing so he sent her home with nothing lol. She wanted antibiotics which they aren't supposed to work on viral infections. he told her to ride it out. So that's what we are doing also. I just hate the gift that keeps giving. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that I've got sick from my sister bringing stuff home from work.
The one thing that would help if it were high is to lose weight, which I am trying but not being very successful at. I'm down a whopping 10 lbs, which they say even benefits blood pressure. If makes me anxious even typing the words "blood pressure".
I did the refill online even. Didn't have to talk to anyone this time. But I was so stressed out, even though I'm sicker than a dog still, that I went for a walk to ease the stress.
There's just so much going on. Today, we have an enhanced risk of severe storms. A little bit more of a chance than normal. I'm still fairly sick but better. My headache is better. My sinuses are slightly better. I'm really congested. I'm taking meds for it. I had a pretty bad optical migraine this morning. But, honestly compared to how I've been feeling, I do feel better.
No word on the father front. I've given up and moving on.
We won some more money so I'm kinda proud of the fact that not only have I had a little money coming in, that I've provided my sister with a little bit also. It doesn't help all of the major things, but gives us a little hope.
My sister has been following my weight loss advice and she went from 270's down to 220's now. I'm doing the same thing, but not going anywhere fast. I am older by 6 years and more decrepit so there is that.
Today, starts Camp Nanowrimo where I attempt to write a novel or at least work on one. I'm going to revisit my cyberpunk novel which I never seem to complete. But at least I know why I am writing it. I've always written about sons and fathers where the father is mainly absent and things don't go well for the son. I have several of these types of novels that I'd like to complete. But lately, I'm like even if the boy is in this bad predicament, what if someone came along and helped him to where everything works out in the end. That's what I'm working on. So at least, I know why I'm writing this kind of material because it is my subconscious working out my own life. It's like I knew my dad wasn't my father all along. But, I didn't know. I just felt it.
anyway, I'm going to work on writing, try to get my sinuses and cough better and headache and congestion, blah blah. I'm trying a variety of things like halls cough drops, vicks vaporub, flonase, tylenol, zinc lozenges, saline solution, gargling with warm salt water, getting rest went I can get it and trying to drink more water.
And the lady my sister works with went to the doctor and it is a viral thing so he sent her home with nothing lol. She wanted antibiotics which they aren't supposed to work on viral infections. he told her to ride it out. So that's what we are doing also. I just hate the gift that keeps giving. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that I've got sick from my sister bringing stuff home from work.
The stories I wrote when I was younger always ended with the death of the main character. Just because that was the only happy ending I could imagine at the time. At some point my sister challenged me to come up with a live ending and it was so hard to make it feel both realistic and hopeful. It required so many changes throughout the whole storyline! But it was a excellent brain exercise and I think it helped me change my mindset irl.
whispers65
(Tom)
yeah I think it will be a good exercise for me mentally because in both cases the boy gets friends that comes along beside him and helps him through the difficult part and in the end he gets what he wants. The thing I'm going to do different this time is try and enlist the help of AI. I have the entire storyline for both novels laid out and I know what i want to happen and I've done world building and so on, but getting the help to come up with chapter summaries would be a plus.
Cate
Long term member
I love the idea of your book. You could re-write your life.
This did make me laugh, Tom but it sucks that you keep getting sick. I hope you have turned the corner.
whispers65
(Tom)
Yeah, humor is a survival technique lol. Gotta keep laughing and going.
whispers65
(Tom)
As the Half Brothers rage, so are the days of my life....
"And here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind. I ain't wasting no more time. I'm just another heart in need of rescue. Waiting on love's sweet charity. And I'm gonna hold on For the rest of my days, 'Cause I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams." Here I Go Again by Whitesnake.
It sucks! In trying to figure out how to lose weight, a lot of this has to be stress. My younger half bro called tonight and was cussing us out all over again. He said he was just trying to be nice and is threatening to take us to court, etc.
I told him do not harass my sister. She is not a liar. Everything about this house and the one that they lost for my dad is on file with the county. My dad (not really now) did everything through a lawyer and it's all public record and has been for over 20 years.
I told him to send us his lawyers information and we will correspond through them. He is not welcome here and if he shows up we will call the police and press charges. Getting a little tired of all of his harassment.
It's been over 40 years, how long does my sister have to suffer. It's not right.
"And here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind. I ain't wasting no more time. I'm just another heart in need of rescue. Waiting on love's sweet charity. And I'm gonna hold on For the rest of my days, 'Cause I know what it means To walk along the lonely street of dreams." Here I Go Again by Whitesnake.
It sucks! In trying to figure out how to lose weight, a lot of this has to be stress. My younger half bro called tonight and was cussing us out all over again. He said he was just trying to be nice and is threatening to take us to court, etc.
I told him do not harass my sister. She is not a liar. Everything about this house and the one that they lost for my dad is on file with the county. My dad (not really now) did everything through a lawyer and it's all public record and has been for over 20 years.
I told him to send us his lawyers information and we will correspond through them. He is not welcome here and if he shows up we will call the police and press charges. Getting a little tired of all of his harassment.
It's been over 40 years, how long does my sister have to suffer. It's not right.
whispers65
(Tom)
I shouldn't be in this position. But in the meantime, I'm gathering all of the proper papers and preparing.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Some people are best avoided or ignored, he sounds like one of those. I think you handled it all quite well.
In my experience 99+% of threats to take you to court are meaningless bluffs. I suspect this one is.
No, you should not be. But that is a good strategy, you are not likely to need the papers but even if you don't it will give you and your sister some peace of mind.
Of course it's not right, but I suspect the only way for her to end the suffering is to cut him off as best she can. Doesn't sound like the kind of person worthy of paying attention to.
whispers65
(Tom)
I get that. But, he's the one that keeps coming after us. We don't call him or have anything to do with him because he is unhinged. He keeps saying that he is documenting all our text messages. He's ridiculous. They can easily get to our phone records. We never call him or never have initiated any text to him. It all comes from his end and we can prove that through phone records.
whispers65
(Tom)
Well it is hot, but mainly humid with the humidity up around 70% so it's really sticky and my sister and I sweat so very easy. Gotta try and find a way to cool down. I didn't feel so good yesterday. We are making sure that we are getting a good amount of electrolytes.
I'm thinking of changing up my walking although I don't really want to. They say with the weather that your body can get stressed in as little as 20 minutes. Right now, I normally go walking for 20 minutes and do that 2-3 times a day. Although, lately I've cut back to 2 times a day. I'm thinking of breaking it up into 4 times and not walk as long. I don't know if that will help with the sweating or just keep it at 2.
I've been looking into other things also for the heat. A hat to wear even if I look ridiculous. I had a cooling t-shirt, but it was made of polyester and I got the worst rashes than I've ever had in my life and it took months to go away so can't do that unless it is made of something else. Also, before there were some moist towels or something that you could wear around your neck. I also need some new shorts. I have some, but they had cheap buttons and broke. When I mow I need to wear long pants. The bugs are crazy bad right now from all of the rain. Walking when the sun goes down is a nightmare with all of the mosquitos. I keep telling my sister we need to find something that we can spray on the yard for bugs and that is dog friendly also. It's miserable. My air conditioning isn't working due to the electrical socket in my room. With all of the rain, it shorted out so there is some bare wire in the wall somewhere so we have the electricity turned off to that part. It's a pain. There are heating pads. I was wondering if there was an economical cooling pad. It's 1am or 2am in the morning before it gets cool enough to sleep. Lots of things. Nothing that a couple of million dollars couldn't solve easily.
Other than that, same as usual - the pressure of my little brother, everyone thinks that he is mentally ill at this point. I have a counseling appointment in less than a week - plan on asking if she has notes from where we counseled before. I'm looking for one document that my mom wrote about our lives. It may or may not give a clue to whether she was pregnant with me or not before going over seas. It's been a long time since I've counseled with my counselor. She works with offenders now also. I'm going to see what can be done about my two brothers. I have no intention of living the rest of this life like this.
Tree trimming time is almost here again. We missed last time due to all of the rain. It rained for two weeks. We've surpassed the rain total for all of last year now. There is one tree in particular that needs to be cut back bad. But, it has intertwined poison ivy in it and last time, I got poison ivy all over my body - face, arms, legs, and a body part that proved particularly challenging. I have no desire for a repeat performance. It cost too much to have it cut for us. But, I saw a disposable body suit type thing (like almost a hazmat suit) fairly cheap. I've almost convinced myself to buy one and cut the limbs while being very careful. If there was someway to see where all the oil has spread it'd be easier, but since it's clear, can't tell. At any rate, gotta get it done before the city comes out.
Plugging away, hoping for things to get better.
I'm thinking of changing up my walking although I don't really want to. They say with the weather that your body can get stressed in as little as 20 minutes. Right now, I normally go walking for 20 minutes and do that 2-3 times a day. Although, lately I've cut back to 2 times a day. I'm thinking of breaking it up into 4 times and not walk as long. I don't know if that will help with the sweating or just keep it at 2.
I've been looking into other things also for the heat. A hat to wear even if I look ridiculous. I had a cooling t-shirt, but it was made of polyester and I got the worst rashes than I've ever had in my life and it took months to go away so can't do that unless it is made of something else. Also, before there were some moist towels or something that you could wear around your neck. I also need some new shorts. I have some, but they had cheap buttons and broke. When I mow I need to wear long pants. The bugs are crazy bad right now from all of the rain. Walking when the sun goes down is a nightmare with all of the mosquitos. I keep telling my sister we need to find something that we can spray on the yard for bugs and that is dog friendly also. It's miserable. My air conditioning isn't working due to the electrical socket in my room. With all of the rain, it shorted out so there is some bare wire in the wall somewhere so we have the electricity turned off to that part. It's a pain. There are heating pads. I was wondering if there was an economical cooling pad. It's 1am or 2am in the morning before it gets cool enough to sleep. Lots of things. Nothing that a couple of million dollars couldn't solve easily.
Other than that, same as usual - the pressure of my little brother, everyone thinks that he is mentally ill at this point. I have a counseling appointment in less than a week - plan on asking if she has notes from where we counseled before. I'm looking for one document that my mom wrote about our lives. It may or may not give a clue to whether she was pregnant with me or not before going over seas. It's been a long time since I've counseled with my counselor. She works with offenders now also. I'm going to see what can be done about my two brothers. I have no intention of living the rest of this life like this.
Tree trimming time is almost here again. We missed last time due to all of the rain. It rained for two weeks. We've surpassed the rain total for all of last year now. There is one tree in particular that needs to be cut back bad. But, it has intertwined poison ivy in it and last time, I got poison ivy all over my body - face, arms, legs, and a body part that proved particularly challenging. I have no desire for a repeat performance. It cost too much to have it cut for us. But, I saw a disposable body suit type thing (like almost a hazmat suit) fairly cheap. I've almost convinced myself to buy one and cut the limbs while being very careful. If there was someway to see where all the oil has spread it'd be easier, but since it's clear, can't tell. At any rate, gotta get it done before the city comes out.
Plugging away, hoping for things to get better.
Cate
Long term member
Hi, Tom. I wear a hat whenever I am going outside for any length of time. This is similar to the one I wear for most of the year.
If it makes me look ridiculous I couldn't care less. It's much better than getting skin cancer and/or being super hot. The cool towels you wear around your neck are super cheap & work well. I'm not too fond of the ones filled with gel.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you regarding the million dollars. Good luck with the poison ivy!
If it makes me look ridiculous I couldn't care less. It's much better than getting skin cancer and/or being super hot. The cool towels you wear around your neck are super cheap & work well. I'm not too fond of the ones filled with gel.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you regarding the million dollars. Good luck with the poison ivy!
whispers65
(Tom)
you know. I may actually have a hat like that. I'm going to check tomorrow. The cool towels that we had, I really wasn't impressed with at all. They didn't seem to work for me. Got any suggestions? Maybe, it was the brand or type.Hi, Tom. I wear a hat whenever I am going outside for any length of time. This is similar to the one I wear for most of the year.
View attachment 56644
If it makes me look ridiculous I couldn't care less. It's much better than getting skin cancer and/or being super hot. The cool towels you wear around your neck are super cheap & work well. I'm not too fond of the ones filled with gel.
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you regarding the million dollars. Good luck with the poison ivy!
alligatorob
Respected Member
When I lived in Florida I used to soak myself with the hose sometimes. Particularly when mowing the lawn on a very hot day, almost every time I passed the hose I'd soak down. At 70% humidity you would get some evaporative cooling, but the water out of the hose is always cooler than the air, it feels good.
whispers65
(Tom)
unfortunately no hose outside. Used to do that as a kid though all the time. I do dunk my head under the faucet and have a spray bottle, then sit under a fan. There hasn't been much wind. That would help at least a little.
alligatorob
Respected Member
That's a good idea, when fishing on hot days I will put an old hand towel in the ice water in the cooler and periodically take it out and put it on my neck. It helps.