The BS Thread!
- Thread starter Hoss
- Start date
So is the female orgasm! 
Angelkae said:
And in my experience the male O is not. lol
You quoted me in your sig, wow. Thanks
Angelkae said:
Ouch...thats a low blow
Did you get my PM? Whos the avatar?
Jokes for men
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
Men approve of premarital sex... until daughters are born.
If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two, He'll be back to his usual self.
Bigamy is having one husband too many. Isn't that the same as monogamy?
If a man suggests that you take a break from vacuuming the living room and relax, what it means is he can't hear the TV.
If you think he's listening to you, you're wrong. He's trying to convert what you just said into something with a sexual connotation.
If a man had a thought in his head, it would get lonely!
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Men are like roller coasters: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.
If he asks you if you're faking it- tell him no, you're just practicing.
Scientist have finally discovered the chemical formula for Viagra.
1% Sodium
1% Iron
1% Phosphate
97% Fix-a-Flat
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.
Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men: a woman.
If God had wanted men to be perfect, he'd have given them brains.
Men are proof that even God makes mistakes.
Saying men read Playboy for the articles is like saying women go to malls for the music.
Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win...they lose.
Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.
Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming way too high.
It was love at first sight. He walked by and I saw the twinkle in his eye.
I never knew that someone could be so in love with his own reflection in the mirror.
Women are indeed silly, we sleep with men, who if they were women, we wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two, He'll be back to his usual self.
Bigamy is having one husband too many. Isn't that the same as monogamy?
If a man suggests that you take a break from vacuuming the living room and relax, what it means is he can't hear the TV.
If you think he's listening to you, you're wrong. He's trying to convert what you just said into something with a sexual connotation.
If a man had a thought in his head, it would get lonely!
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Men are like roller coasters: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.
If he asks you if you're faking it- tell him no, you're just practicing.
Scientist have finally discovered the chemical formula for Viagra.
1% Sodium
1% Iron
1% Phosphate
97% Fix-a-Flat
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.
Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men: a woman.
If God had wanted men to be perfect, he'd have given them brains.
Men are proof that even God makes mistakes.
Saying men read Playboy for the articles is like saying women go to malls for the music.
Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win...they lose.
Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.
Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming way too high.
It was love at first sight. He walked by and I saw the twinkle in his eye.
I never knew that someone could be so in love with his own reflection in the mirror.
Women are indeed silly, we sleep with men, who if they were women, we wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
aevans410 said:
John Cena is WAAYYY OVER? whats that mean? and what are "trips?"
Personally, I think John Cena is gonna win, and HBK is gonna win. Why? Every past match they've been getting the **** kicked out of em UNFAIRLY (interference, one on 3, all that). But this builds up the momentum for them to WIN the match at mania. ya know what i mean? It makes the victory even sweeter.
man that would be great if Bret Hart ran out during the HBK McMahon match or something.
People love John Cena and HHH. Its gona be a hard one to call.
These wrestlers must have taken so many steroids. They are so massive these days. In the old days they used to look more natural. They also could do a lot more moves...
Angelkae said:OMG, men and wrestling... I soooo don't get that.
BTW,
Wrestling is fake!
Omg, so true. These guys I once knew from school loved to wrestle (the fake kind), so they set up this WWF or w/e it's called thing where they all fought with eachother. Quite lame, and I told all of them they needed to get gfs, but they can't keep them... Anyways, they asked me to be a 'diva', which meant I apparently had to watch the matches.It was SO sad. The first 'round' was just a b**** slap contest, until one threw a garbage can at the other, and then it became MOST entertaining. And, omg, they had this wrestling XBOX game, which I tried playing (not too successfully) and we were choosing characters and what do I see? This scantily clad female wrestler with MY name that they made.
Boys will be boys.By the way, my friend (female) has a HUGE crush on that John Cena guy.
HoneyBee said:...and what do I see? This scantily clad female wrestler with MY name that they made.
OMG, that is so funny. My husband used to play xbox wrestling at his friends house, and they actually made one of me (and the other guy's gf). So pathetic... That was a couple of years ago... needless to say I have shamed him into not playing the game anymore, LOL!
Hoss
1
Geez, you Canadians..HoneyBee said:Omg, so true. These guys I once knew from school loved to wrestle (the fake kind), so they set up this WWF or w/e it's called thing where they all fought with eachother. Quite lame, and I told all of them they needed to get gfs, but they can't keep them... Anyways, they asked me to be a 'diva', which meant I apparently had to watch the matches.It was SO sad. The first 'round' was just a b**** slap contest, until one threw a garbage can at the other, and then it became MOST entertaining. And, omg, they had this wrestling XBOX game, which I tried playing (not too successfully) and we were choosing characters and what do I see? This scantily clad female wrestler with MY name that they made.
By the way, my friend (female) has a HUGE crush on that John Cena guy.
Angelkae said:OMG, men and wrestling... I soooo don't get that.
BTW,
Wrestling is fake!
Wrestling is NOT fake... its scripted, theres a difference. 90 percent of the time, professional wrestlers do not get hurt, the other 10 percent they do. I've never said this on this board, but I have participated in a promotion when I was younger. I can assure you, that if you think wrestling is "fake", get into a ring and get thrown around a little bit, it will change your mind.
Read my post, did I say once that I think that any wrestler would "beat" any other wrestler. No I did not. That right there should tip you off that I know its scripted, so why make a comment that I think the contrary.
I like wrestling because I know how the business works, I was in it. I have friends who are in it, I have other friends who have what it takes to make it to the big time, even though the WWE promotion sucks the way it is now. I'm more interested in the politics of it, who's over with the fans, who's getting pushed to popularity, who is being held back, who is overrated and should be stomped on.
The fact of the matter is Vince McMahon dispelled the myth back in the 90s that wrestling was real, he claimed it was entertainment and wasn't going to insult the intelligence of people anymore by claiming otherwise. Although some people (Namely Lou Albano) still maintain to this day it was real.
So some men like wrestling, I don't see anyone on here knocking on something you like...