Marsia's Diary

We have some nice natural scenery such as the Qu'Appelle valley and some small lakes. Mostly farmland around these here parts. Canola fields and flax fields everywhere.
 
Northern_Dreamer said:
We have some nice natural scenery such as the Qu'Appelle valley and some small lakes. Mostly farmland around these here parts. Canola fields and flax fields everywhere.
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Do you hike or go out in nature much? Are your kids ok doing that with you or do they all run off in different directions? Mine loves water, so I take her hiking by the ocean or down trails where there are streams.
 
Marsia said:
Lost a couple of pounds this week, so new low of 198.2. Lost 21 pounds so far and feel a lot less frumpy! I'll post it to the challenge page in a few days if it sticks.

Went for a beautiful walk on Point Lobos to Bird Island. The ocean around it is turquoise, and it's one of my favorite state parks. Didn't get a lot of exercise because I took my 80 year old mom who walks very slowly, but it was just a lovely walk and my daughter, mom, and I sketched by the ocean a few hours and did some nice sketches of waves crashing around rocky islands. Met a nice artist doing an oil painting there, too.
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Marsia what an absolute fantastic day and you lost 2lbs . How wonderful is that .
 
Thanks Petal!!!

Today we went to the Apple (computer) Store and took a Garage Band course together as a family. The teacher was this extremely enthusiastic happy guy who loves making music. I actually made a whole song, starting with a drum beat I have been practicing on my new drum set, so I was very proud and happy. Everyone loved the class, and we went out for Chinese food afterward.

I have been feeling so much more content with life being more healthy and I think it's also gotten me more into my passions for art and psychology. I have been reading about my hero Carl Jung and really getting into art lately. It's great to be feeling more myself and getting back into my hobbies again!
 
Congrats on getting to the under 200 club! I'm almost there. My last 4 weigh-ins were:

Jul 11 - 206 lbs
Jul 18 - 209 lbs
July 25 - 203 lbs
Aug 1 - 205lbs

I haven't been under 200 since 2009.
 
Northern_Dreamer said:
Congrats on getting to the under 200 club! I'm almost there.
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Wow, so wonderful!!!

It just feels so good to feel like I have a waist curve! I was walking around noticing that this morning and feeling happy. I dawned on me I am a third of the way to my goal weight, so this isn't as bad as I thought. It's doable! And it sticks with me what you said that we may not be able to go back to eating like we used to, and that's finally ok with me. Even if I have to count calories forever and/or do fast days like Cate, that's fine. Health is so much better than going unconscious and stuffing my feelings with food. Thanks for all your support!!!
 
And remember what many people have said, the longer you stick with a certain way of eating, the more of a habit it becomes for us and more natural. However, food still remains an addiction. It's not like alcohal or drugs though because we still need food to eat. Our way of eating and how we think of food is an addiction. There are so many people who do the extreme work of losing a ton of weight only to put it all back. We will NOT do that. Healthy and happy for life!
 
It is wonderful to see you re-shaping your life (& your body) & I love that you did a Garage Band course together as a family. What fun!
Back in 2007, while I was losing lots of weight I analysed almost everything, especially myself & really got into psychology & explored new hobbies. It's like we are giving ourselves a chance to improve in many more ways than just the body & to find our true selves xo
 
Dreamer, yes, let's stay healthy and happy as much as possible! It feels really good for me to think this way, as I neglected taking care of myself for quite a while there!! It really is a choice to see that I can either engage head on with life or numb myself out with food and negative thinking and all that stressful stuff.

Cate, I agree totally - I think finding out what is true and good for us is revolutionary in a way. There is so much pressure to act and think in a herd and to go along with the people who dub themselves experts but who may not have our best interests in mind even remotely. It's really nice getting older and seeing that generally the louder someone proclaims themselves as the expert, the more the inverse seems to be the case. It's really great to take stock again and see what I really want to do next in life and to see what I want my relationship to things to be. I haven't done this in quite a while, and it feels very freeing!!!
 
Marsia
I am sitting in cinema before the movies starts . It’s like reading about myself reading your thoughts and ideas and how you feel about yourself now . Think as we get older we really care more about ourselves .
Well done on the garage band and the Apple store and finding time to get out and enjoy life
 
Thanks Petal!! I think you are doing fantastic in taking better care of yourself, too, and so glad we are doing it together!!!
 
Ate a yummy breakfast of one gluten free matcha green tea pancake with cacao sauce and a huge melon slice. I ate chocolate and actually stopped at a reasonable amount!! And liked the melon as much as the sauce which had my prior downfall (honey) in it!! Weighed in at 197.8 this morning. Another morning like that and I will post my weight to the challenge page.

I have been pondering why it is so hard to put myself first, to take care of my health and emotional life before taking care of my family's. I realize I still have this programming stuck in my head that I need to be this certain kind of person that I am not - successful, outgoing, stereotypically beautiful, funny and charming all the time, and all that. Because of believing this, I push myself to do what I need to do for others first almost like I can push myself into being what I am not and ignore who I really am. I meditated yesterday and this morning and just let a lot of that perfectionism go. Feels a lot lighter! I think I like the real, imperfect me a lot better than my perfectionistic image of who I am "supposed to" be!
 
Marsia said:
I still have this programming stuck in my head that I need to be this certain kind of person that I am not - successful, outgoing, stereotypically beautiful, funny and charming all the time, and all that. Because of believing this, I push myself to do what I need to do for others first almost like I can push myself into being what I am not and ignore who I really am. I meditated yesterday and this morning and just let a lot of that perfectionism go.
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Most of us suffer from that ridiculous notion. Great to hear you´re aware and beating it!
 
Marsia I think it's easier to live with yourself once we accept we are not perfect , we are not going to reclaim the bodies of a 20 year old, thst we are beautiful as we are , we are kind and caring , have families who care about us . Accept there is only so much we can do in a day and be kinder to ourselves .
 
Petal and LaMa, I agree completely! It's just shocking to see I still fall for this rotten perfectionistic stereotype. It's a sneaky one!!
 
Petal001 said:
Marsia I think it's easier to live with yourself once we accept we are not perfect , we are not going to reclaim the bodies of a 20 year old, thst we are beautiful as we are , we are kind and caring , have families who care about us . Accept there is only so much we can do in a day and be kinder to ourselves .
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Marsia- Petal said it for me. It's time we all did this xoxo
 
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