Cohen's Lifestyle Life's Good's journy to life being even better!!!

Prefix for Cohen's Lifestyle
Cate - Thank you for you post. Sometimes I think I just need to hear from others than those in my immediate, physical life to help me put things into perspective! Pregnant... ha ha... yeah no not funny! ha ha... I really do think it is hormonal though because that's all been out of wack since I've been on the program timing wise (it starts exactly 1 week later than 28 days each time) but then at the same time they have been much more what I would class as what 'normal' should be... not that I've ever known! And then I tried that new contraceptive but that slowed my loss down considerably and then this should have been the first one since then but still hasn't shown! hmmm... that's what happens when you play around with nature huh! (sorry if that's too much info for some - all part of the changes!!!) I know I'm getting close to my goal because I'm starting to get to the borderline of where I what to be phyical-looking wise. I have a very heavy bone structure and in the last week or so my ribs at the top of my chest are starting to show. My boobs are starting to look fake, like they've just been placed there because of it. I have no aspiration to look like a annorexic celebrity just to get to a particular number! I know I am already in my healthy weight range (official weigh in and ticker update tonight!) but I am so very cautious of going too far. For me it's now about how I look and feel rather than what the scales say. For the first time in my life its not just about a number to me! My hip bones stick out when wearing jeans and my below bust rib cage is more than noticable when wearing a fitted top etc! I'm just taking it week by week at the moment. So I would still like to get to the goal I set for myself from Day 1 which is 72 but not sure, as I have never been, about going for the 64-67. I know within myself that I would not be disappointed to reach and stabilise at 72kg. Well just see...

Genie - I feel much better today but still cant seem to just focus on and complete a task. I had a big sook when I got home last night but I felt terrible sitting there crying about feeling all confused and 'lost' and my ever so lovely LB cuddling me telling me it's fine and just part of the process etc etc as it was his 30th Birthday and it should have all been about him and all happy celebrations! Your words really meant a lot though, it's good to know that there are others out there who are REALLY getting what you are saying. Not just appreciating or understanding what you are saying when you talk about your expereinces but really get it!

I'm feeling much better today so far but it still is only 9.00am! I still feel cloudy and confused but as soon as I got in this morning I structured my to do list a bit more so that I only have to focus on the one thing at a time and I've told myself NO EXCEPTIONS! I have been taking double vitamins etc anyway but also had some before bed last night too and woke up really well this morning so maybe for this end part I need to take them with each main meal!

As I said above, and I have said all along, that I would reassess where I wanted to finish as I got closer. I talked a lot to LB about it last night and I still tend to think around the 72 mark is good for me. That's in the middle of my health weight range BMI-wise but also where in the past I have felt most comfortable with myself. Also I need to take into account what my training and exercise schedule is going to do weight and body shape wise. As soon as I start my swimming I will shrink in size more but also expect to put on about 3kg in muscle, although it might not be that much because I haven't lost much of my muscle density. I would like to be at 72kg with my muscle gain but I also am very conscience of looking like a bag of bones. As I said further up my chest ribs are already noticable, my hip bones poke out very obviously when wearing jeans and cargos etc and when wearing a fitted top my rib cage is nearly more of a feature than my bust. I am a swimming from way back so I have really broad shoulders and I LOVE, and I mean LOVE, my curves!!! I, and my personality, is all about being a woman and still having great curves. I have an hourglass figure and it's very important to me to keep that. More important that a specific number. So at the moment I think I will just take it one week at a time. Because of my build and structure I am very aware and have no aspiration to look like Nicole Richie or Posh Spice (although she was my inspiration for my hair cut!!!). My sister on the other hand has a very fine frame and can get away with being a lower weight and still looking healthy.

I guess what I am trying to say is this program has been all about health to me and I dont want to keep plunging away to get to a particular number in mind to only end up look unhealthy or like I am being treated for a terminal illness. As I said yesterday I'm not feeling particularly hungry yet so I will still wait till that happens with consistancy as when I am feeling hungry it's just between breakfast and lunch!

Oh I had to do the yoghurt thing yesterday because I didn't realise I used all the eggs in the house in my weekend bake-fest and had to get myself a tub on the way to work... YUM YUM YUM... I never really had a problem with most yoghurts but I think in that first week when I bought the particular one I did it just put me off for this long... cant wait to start whipping up some berry smoothies for breakfast!!!

I will pop back in once I've been to my appointment to share what my consultant has said out my brain function and what it all means with where I'm at and when I will look at ordering my refeed etc...

SO SO CLOSE... it's exciting!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

L x
 
Lauren-I'm so glad I made you laugh! I do think it will be hormones. I do not miss them! I absolutely love my yoghurt now & couldn't live without it. I love the Tamar Valley yoghurt. I too, felt your pain with that dress. I was totally gobsmacked & didn't know what to say! You'll be right Lauren whatever number you decide to finish at. I am happy being my current weight. I actually like my little belly(not the muffin top-I'll have to work at that!) We are women after all & I have had 2 kids. Like you I too like my curves. I do not miss the fat a.... & thunder thighs though. Look forward to hearing what your consultant says, xo Cate.
 
Been sick!

Hi All

Well I haven't fallen into a black hole or detoured off into deviation-ville... After my appointment last Tuesday night, at which I was just completely irrational, irratic and so-not-me (sorry Bronwyn again if you do read this!) I was in such a manic rush because I had forgotten a number of things and had 6 people arriving within the hour for LBs 30th Birthday dinner with my family etc. Still had to pick up cake, get a few bits and pieces from the shops and order and pick up Chinese and LB had just called to say he was held up at work... oh yeah I also wanted to do a quick run over with the vacuum because K & P (nieces) would be at the house also and it's bad enough that my place is just soooo not kids orientated or friendly in the sense of things to keep them occupied with and furniture etc. So I didn't end up being able to get online to post what advice Bronwyn had given. She agreed with just boosting my vitamins but had never really heard of these affects before. So I arrived there in a mad panic, irratic, irrational etc and then left there feeling all that plus more confused, worried and frustrated because 'WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!'. Put on a happy face for when the guests arrived and basically just fell into an exhausted heap when they all left!
I haven't written since because of the following: -

Wednesday - Woke up at 4am with a worst than I have ever felt and had in my life headache that was 25% sinus (has been coming and going since weekend up in Clare with cats again) and 75% whole left side of head and EXTREME. Took a couple of over the counter strong codeine painkiller and went back to bed. Woke up at 6am and it was still there, still extreme and also making me feel quesy. Tried to get up, reached the couch and didn't move anymore. Told LB I wasn't going to work and went back to bed. He and my mum both very worried because I have been having these other brain function difficulties booked me into drs and I made it up there in the afternoon. He did a couple of tests and said that it wasn't a tumour or meningitis (sic) but I was right about sinus and until I can get in for a CT scan we will start to treat that. He also gave me some panadeine forte which then left me in la la land for the rest of the day. Slept, slept and slept some more. Struggled to make it to the toilet let alone post on computer. Dr also signed me off for the rest of the week.

Thursday - Woke up, moved matress into lounge as it's darker during the day in there than in the bedroom and slept, slept some more, then slept some more. Was high as a kite the entire day with the fortes. I really dont like taking medication that strong but I was barely even making it through the last hour before I could take some more the pain was the extreme so I didn't have much choice. Set my alarm and coped with my food etc for the day but hardly drank a thing. I kept trying to get it down as it would only help and with all the medication I needed to flush it through but I just couldn't stomach it. Every mouthful had me running to the bathroom as I thought it wasn't going to stay down.

Friday - Felt better. Had to go back to the doctors so couldn't take the strong stuff as I had to drive and I actually managed well just on the over the counter. When I got to the doctors he said that on Wednesday he would have liked me to go and get some blood tests but because of the state I was in he decided to wait to see how I was then. He said that he thinks I might be anemic. He said with everything I was saying about the fuzziness and confusion and then the tests he ran with my pulse and looking at me (eye lids, nail beds, bruising etc) I have all the symptoms and it would make sense. So After my appointment I went to the building next door to have blood taken and the lady stuffed it up which because I was unwell and then how much pain she was causing I ended up fainting and was also left with bruises in each arm which made me look like I had been shooting up drugs all bloody week! NOT HAPPY JAN. Went back home and packed the bag for our night in the city. LB and I had decided that we would wait to see how I was feeling as to whether I would attend my snazzy function or not but regardless we would still go and stay in the hotel we had booked and if I didn't feel up to the dinner we would just spend the night having a bit of R&R where there were no dishes to do, washing to be folded etc as the new WONDER WOMAN me is also probably a little run down on top of it all. LB cam home at 1.30 to get me to go to the CT Scan and then we did a quick dash around to Medicare and home, for me to rest on couch while he did a quick tidy and pack of his stuff, as his brother and brothers girlfriend we staying at our place the night. Then headed into our hotel room and just relaxed for a couple of hours before I got ready to go to my dinner. I was feeling much better and since I was just going to sit at the table and such a fuss was made over my food I felt I had to make an appearance, plus I was so excited about getting dressed up etc as 'ME' (you know - the real one!!!). LB walked me down to the dinner and I had a lovely evening. Bumped into many people I haven't seen for a long time, had photo taken for SA Life Magazine, was on a great table of people and my meal.... OMG - the portion sizes were so close also and they did such a great job. I had a chargrilled piece of beef with steamed bok choy and asparagus. I actually really enjoyed it! Over drank on the soda water but hey it could have been worse and I could have cleaned up a couple of bottles of wine (although even if I could drink I dont think I would have - my head was hurting and that was without the assistance of alcohol). At about 10.30pm I called LB to come and get me. He picked me up quite piddled and I was knackered so we just headed back to the room. Had a wonderful, luxurious sleep in the crisp sheets of the hotel bed and woke up feeling much much better, headache still present but now very mild.
Had breakfast (I took a tub of yogurt with me) and read the paper on the couch while it was LBs turn to wake up with a throbbing head, except his was self-inflicted!

Saturday - went for a walk through the markets, LB wanted to go to the zoo so we went there for 2 hours and then we headed home as LBs brother was there by himself and I was buggered and needed a nap and it was nearly my lunch time. Stopped at the shop for a BBQ chicken (the one food I still constantly yern for... what I would do for the juicy tenderness of a drumstick) and some rolls. Got home, made the boys chicken, cheese, salami, lettuce and mayo rolls with all the lovely fresh produce we bought at the markets, made myself a chicken salad (not with the delicious smelling BBQ of course!) and then I kicked the boys out of the house to the golf driving range and I went to bed. 5 hours later the came home as did Robs (brothers girlfriend) and I crawled out of bed feeling almost like a human again. We had dinner, watched a movie (well I got through half before heading back to bed) and a nice chilled out evening.

Sunday - Got up and had breakfast. Vegged on couch until everyone else awoke some 3+ hours later. Made them all breakfast, did some washing and hung it out, made myself lunch and then we headed out to some hardware stores, garden places and stuff like that. Then again last night it was an early one...

So all in all I am feeling much more human. I am still waiting for all my results back which should be today, that's just reminded me so I will call them in a sec, but if that is the case it would explain why I have been the way I have. I have already started on the iron tablets as a precautionary anyway (like I need MORE constipation - sorry) as I did add up my iron intake on a general Cohen's day and as much as I met the RDI I found on a website re: anemia what things can stop your body from absorbing iron from food into the bloodstream - they are:
1. Coffee - I have 1 cup every 2 days
2. Tea - I have 5-8 cups of green tea a day plus 2-3 cups of herbal tea a day
3. Chewing gum - I have at least 5 pieces a day (yes sometimes I go over but try and cut them in half so I get 10 servings in a day - I cant handle the bad breathe and the taste it gives in your mouth)
4. Artificial sweetner - I have 5 tabs a day.

So as much as I am meeting my recommended amounts I have been probably inhibiting most of that from being absorbed. So I have cut down my tea (I have actually only had my camomile and lavendar since reading it as I presume they are talking about tea from the camellia sinensis) and only 1 before bed each night and so therefore I also haven't had any sweetners. Still having my gum but hope cutting down the rest in the interim will help until I go back to the quack.

So I apologise if any of you have been waiting to find out what my consultant said re: what's been going on but until today I just haven't been up to sitting at a computer.

I've written more than enough for the moment so I hope everyone has been well. I will go and read some diaries now to get myself up to date!

Take care all.

Lauren
 
Getting Dressed Up

P.S. I really did feel amazing on Friday night all dressed up... I was beeming with pride and confidence... I sooooooo want to post the pictures LB took before I left but I dont want to ruin my Before and After showing off!!! I might just post a before and during for the moment... hmmmm... will have to think about it!
 
Omg - Check Out My Ticker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi All

Well has the last 5-6 days been ever so hectic for me!!!! Thursday I had an incident occur at the end of the day which held me up to no end. I spent the whole of Friday at Tafe, got home had no internet..., Saturday and Sunday full days at a gardening and garden design course and still having trouble with the computer and then yesterday I was in the city all day at the launch of Safe Work 2007! I have not had a minute to breathe and have actually had many a thing to say, well pen, in here but just not the opportunity!

Well as you can see I am only 4-odd KGs away from my goal and tonight I had an official weigh in!!! To my surprise I actually had a 3.78kg loss this fortnight which I guess makes up for the 1.8 and 1.2 of previous fortnights! I was starting to think that I was going to have to go through the holiday period on the program still and WHAM I pulled a big one! I am so so so excited because my consultant said that I need to go and have my last blood test tomorrow and she will order my refeed so that it is here and we can discuss it at my next fortnight's appointment!!!! HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH!!!! The JOY I cannot explain. Especially because I have actually reached refeed because I have reached my refeed weight not because I got discouraged and gave up at the last moment or ordered it because I was fed up with the process which is where I was concerned my thought process was heading a couple weeks back when I was all fuzzy etc! So my consultant said that she will order it for my next appointment and then depending on what I lose this fortnight I will be able to start straight away or wait until I hit the 70! I am so elated as I am again feeling wonderful and like 'ME' again!

So here is to the strictest 2 weeks of my journey, even though as far as I have realised I have been 100% for 98% (unintentional deviations of powdered form of sweetner instead of tablet etc). My strictness (is that even a word???) when feeling crap about it all and while questioning my abilities really rewarded me this fortnight... It's the home stretch now missy moo.... Actually realising refeed is so close now though has already installed fear into me just from hearing about others and the constant changes but I have taken it in my stride up until now so why shouldn't that be any different! If I need to get up 30mins earlier to ensure I'm prepared for the day then that's just what I'll have to do!

Also, tomorrow is my 6 month anniversary (as in 26 weeks not calendar months) so that makes it all the more exciting because he said 6 months and It's going to be closer than what I predicted! YAAAAA HOOOOOOO!

My next two weeks are so manic it's not funny! I have Safe Work 2007 seminars and training sessions, my FINAL day of my Diploma is on Friday (but I still have two assignments to complete before then), our garden and preparation is starting this Saturday, I have Nationals from work in the office for the next 3 weeks and I have already started my to do list of things I want to get finished, done, started before Christmas!

WOW - What a huge year it has been... Cohens, my grandparents both passing, my career going from strength to strength, completion of my hard earned qualifications, more home renos, LB starting a new career and taking on study part time, coming to terms with many demons... And I've never felt more on top of the world...

Well I will leave it there, dont need another novel!

I hope everyone else is doing famously and is on track and celebrating in their success of doing something so amazing for themselves!!!

WILL write more tomorrow...

L x

P.S. Found out what's had me ill - I've become anemic! My body is getting enough iron through the diet and vitamins but it just hasn't been absorbing it! Getting sorted but feeling myself again already...

P.P.S TTOM came today... Told ya Cate - ha ha ha ha ha... just teasing because of our previous joke shared! ha

Take Care...
 
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Hi Lauren

You are so strong to keep going through all those tumultuos days. I am so glad you have been diagnosed and their is something you can do to get better. It must have been draining on you managing all these issues and still following Cohens. Well done.

And a big CONGRAT'S on nearly reaching refeed. You must be looking wonderful and feeling jubilient. I am glad you and your sister worked things out and I am glad you had a nice night out wearing your new dress. (Photo's would be great) when you're ready of course.

Your hubby sounds so supportive thank your lucky starts you have such a kind and caring partner in your life they are hard to come by. I appreciate mine, I don't think their is many who would put up with me but his stuck it out for 17 years.

Keep well lauren.

Sam:)
 
Hi Sam

Thanks for you post!!!

Just a quick stop by again - I'm hoping next week will start to slow down for me a bit so I can regroup my schedule! It seems to be all over the place right now!

I'm so excited to be within reach of my refeed although I have just been informed I have to go on a interstate business trip in November and if I start refeed when currently assumed (which of course may change!) then it will be slap bang in the middle of it which will prove to be a bit of fun!!! I'm hoping it will only be 1 night though so I should be able to keep myself organised with it all!

Anyway - got to run... just about to have 12 guys rock up for Saturday morning training!

L x
 
Confused!!!

Well when I got into work on Saturday I had an email stating that I have to go to Sydney for work... I'm very excited about it but it was going to fall right in the middle of when I am theoretically going to be on refeed... I asked if I could push it back a couple of weeks to which they ever so kindly obliged to but at the same time couldn't go any further because of the time of year. So if I was to start my refeed within days of receiving it that will give me a 5-6 day buffer but what if now I'm not ready to start straight away. Now that I'm here I'm thinking I might want to push it further just because I can even though at the same time I've been looking at myself the last couple of days and am starting to get a bit bonier (in the upper chest and back) than what I'm actually comfortable with myself looking like. I actually find, especially my chest, quite unattractive and it makes me feel and have thoughts that I"m unhealthy... I still have over a week to mull over it and I will just pan it out as it comes! Also, I'm not hungry hungry yet. Well I was some 5kg back but that's gone away and I'm not sure if it's because I am busier and busier by the day and actually haven't had the time to think about it at all (have even been passing my lunch and dinner times without realising) but also because since being hungry last time I have my fruit and crackers so spread out that I dont think I'm giving my stomach a chance to get the message to my brain!

I'm starting to feel very excited but also very nervous about refeed... I just want to get it right so much that I think that's where the nerves are coming from... their not bad or negative nerves! I have been reading some other posts about refeed etc on both this forum and the other one and found that to be quite interesting... some people have written that they have been stocking up on all their favourite 'old' foods like biscuits and cakes and basically everything that put them in the position to have to do Cohen's in the first place. I dont get that, I really dont. Cohen's has had so many other benefits for me than just weight loss and although a lot of the small bits and pieces and processes I have known for a long time now it has made me really realise the impacts and qualify and quantify them. I have had many revallations and am making many decisions to stay like this for the rest of my life. At the end of the day, even though I have no desire at present, I may want to have chocolate etc once finished I anticipate chosing not too... I truely believe we are what we eat and not eating chocolate or the like for me isn't about the fat content or the potential weight gain aspect it's about the chocolate as a package. It is a processed food, it contains sugar, preservatives, additives etc etc etc, and maybe I'm lucky because through the program I have had my other benefits like because I've cut out the processed foods I no longer pull my hair out at the roots etc, but it's just a simple analogy now... That doesn't read right... But I need it to be there like it is because it's how my head is saying it!

LB and I were walking through a mall on the weekend and I said to him I look forward to our special retreat weekend away that we have every year where we go and purchase some expensive and delectable truffles to enjoy on one of the evenings with a special bottle of wine but other than that time in my mind chocolate just doesn't appeal to me in the normal everyday form anymore. I stand there looking at the confectionary isle in the supermarket at all the bars and blocks and I feel nothing for them. I used to want to hug and kiss everyone of them for saving me in my moments of despair or desire but I get nothing. And I actually believe it's because I'm telling myself that's how I feel so that is how I plan to continue to manage it. I must believe in myself and what my body mind and soul tell me. That's what's gotten me through this program 38kg less that what I started it.

The life and lifestyle I yern for, the goals I wish to achieve, the reasons I have those goals mean I must be healthy. I feel empowered by choosing healthy food. When I see healthy food I see a happy and fulfilled life.

At the end of the day I have to not allow myself to fear the potential of thinking like that because it will be the fear that I give in to. I must allow myself to feel those false desires and wants and work through them as the come to find what the real problem is and fix that instead. I by no means what to deny these feelings otherwise they will never go away but I think after the year I have had of the highest of highs and some of my most devestating lows ever I have it in me to work through my food addiction this way. I think being burtally honest with myself about these feelings will help me succeed. I am already empowered by how I got through some of the lows without turning to food and instead giving food the power to get me through the lows. By eating healthily and well my body and mind coped so much better with the stress and sadness.

Anyway... Just had to post my thoughts while they were so strong in my mind.

My week has been fantastic and 100% in preparation! Did forget to get my blood test still though so I will get that done first thing tomorrow as a matter of priority! My consultant said anytime because it's not actually a scheduled one but must get it done to allow enough time for refeed to be prepared!

Lauren x
 
Lauren- I can so relate to how you feel...about food, about life, about looking at food differently. We do people think they can go back to eating as they used to? Why would you want to go back there.I had already sent you an email earlier today before looking at the forum(as I couldn't!) I am incredibly proud of your attitude! You will succeed in changing you life because you are honest with yourself & are strong & smart. Well done! I will have a longer, better think about your post, regarding re-feed. It is quite compicated & requires your careful attention. I wish I had waited just another 3 kilos to give myself a little more lee-way. Exercise will change your appearance as well. Just a thought. Cheers for now, forum buddy, Cate.
 
Hello hunger...

Well I think I jinxed myself yesterday in my post when I said I haven't been hungry... I woke up this morning ravenous... had breakfast at 5.30am in fact! And then all day I have been stretching my food out to regain some normality with my eating times! ha ha... fun fun!

I think every time today I have bitten into a salada square I have been thankful I dont have a box anywhere near me because I would consume the lot! I made some apple and cinnamon scrolls on the weekend and kept poking them this morning... I dont want to eat it but all of a sudden other food, good or bad, is consuming my headspace and interest. I dont care what it is I just want to look at it and think about it! Very very weird!

I'm still undecided on what I discussed yesterday and thank you Cate for giving it some thought for me. At the end of the day I know I will do what I choose to on the day I choose to do it but opinions and thoughts of others are always welcome! I have been thinking that I would like to see how much effect the exercise I want to do will have and even just giving it 12 weeks to see how I feel does make sense to me. If my muscle gains dont impact the scales too much and I still want to go down a bit further or even to the bottom end of my goal then I can always do Cohen's again after and that doesn't bother me because I know I will be able to refocus plus it would only be for a few more kilos so wouldn't take as long I would hope but I must admit I have far surpassed my own personal goal which was to be a healthy size 12 and I am already a healthy size 10 and not at the tight end of 10 either! I think the word for how I am feeling right now about my size and weight is 'happily content'. I wouldn't want to be any heavier but I'm not fussed to be any lighter, if I am that's fine but if I'm not, as long as I dont go in the bigger direction I am happy with myself, the way my body looks and feels, the way clothes hug my now appealing curves!

I have lost 151cm to date combined off of my bust, waist, hips, thighs and arms... Boy I wish I also measured my calfs at the beginning just for interest sake...

Broken down that is

Bust was 115cm now 91cm - Total loss of 24cm (Wow - that's where they went!!!)
Waist was 104cm now 70.5cm - Total loss of 33.5cm (OMG - this is the first time I have actually broken them down individually so the shock is geniune!)Hips was 119cm now 94cm - Total loss of 25cm
Left Thigh was 71cm now 46.5cm - Total loss of 24.5cm (I thought that number was impressive off a whole part of my body but that's only 1 leg!!!)
Right Thigh was 73cm now 48cm - Total loss of 25cm (have had operations on left so it's always been smaller)Arms - Total loss 10 cm each... (OMG again)

Well that has just made my day that little bit more!!! How exciting!

On the old scale my now measurements are 36 28 38... WOW...

Anyway - just realised the time... got to run have a garden designer coming to the house at 4.30 and it will take me half hour to get home!

I hope every has had a great day...

Lauren x
 
This is the first time in nearly 3 days I've been able to get into the forum from either work or home so I dont know what's been going on but it seems to be fine now - I hope! I will keep it short just in case!

The last few days have been good program wise. I have been following 100% and look forward to being rewarded by it next Wednesday when I go in to pick up my refeed. I've still not decided what I am going to do regarding starting the program but when I have it in front of me I will weigh up the pros and cons of starting asap or when I'm at a certain number - which of course there is still the possibility that I will acutally be at the number when I weigh in. I have no way to tell which reminds me I have to go and buy new scales for refeed!

Work has been so busy this last week and it's been really good as well because I have really rekindled my spark for what I do and have been much more motivated to go above and beyond and push myself and get everything done sooner to leave time to do some newer projects I would like to develop further...

Well other than that I dont have much else going on... it's just been work work work!

I hope every has a wonderful weekend!

Happy healthy thoughts!

Lauren x
 
Well well - I need a break and this is where I'm taking it. This last few weeks I have been finding it harder and harder to come in her and write properly. I had half a post written yesterday before being called to a major accident which then held me up till - well it still is and will be for a while yet but that's why I thought I would take this opportunity to write in here and treat it as a break from my ever growing report for senior management and the directors etc...

On my program and weight loss side of things I am very very excited. My consultant called me yesterday to say that my refeed hadn't come in yet as I was supposed to go and pick it up and meet with her about it last night. I said I would still come for my weigh in etc but then as it turned out I was held up in town at the site of the accident till well after 6pm and had to call her to say I was unable to come. Anyway she called me this morning to say it was in so I will be going to get it on my way home tonight... I'm so excited. I have spent the last week or so going back and forth between excited and scared but yesterday on the way to work I was having a little 'sane' conversation with myself along the journey and had some more of these wonderful revellations and since then I have been so cool, calm and actually looking forward to it. I bought my new scales which are perfect!!! This morning on them I was 70kg so it looks like I dont have the delima I thought I was going to have with starting too early on it. I am planning to plan today and tomorrow and then have my 1st day of refeed on Saturday... I might even be in the 60's (OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) by then.... I feel amazing... Amazing... AMAZING!!!!

I would really like to write more and I am going to make a special effort to do just that when I get home about some of these revellations etc but I really must finish this report as I have National and Corporate Group people calling me for it... The breather has been just what I needed though to allow me to regroup as I was starting to get frazzelled!

Will be back later tonight...

Lauren x
 
DAY 1 REFEED - PLUS IN THE 60's!!!! FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER SEEN A '6' AT THE START!!!

Well so I didn’t get back to the computer last night even though I did make special efforts to – it just didn’t happen! Anyway I picked up my refeed and was able to go through it with my consultant. It ended up being very sad as she also advised me that she is leaving Cohen’s to be closer to home and for family commitments and she’s found ajob just around the corner from where she lives rather then the hike she has to currently make. It was sad because this was the last time I was going to see her and she’s been there for my whole journey… and I only have three weeks to go but I was very happy for her at the same time.

My refeed is 16 days so I actually decided to start it today rather than tomorrow as it would therefore mean that my last day on refeed, should everything go to plan and I not have to repeat any days, would be when we are next heading up to Clare and therefore would mean I just have to take my dinner with me as apposed to my dinner for that night and my breakfast and lunch the next day. So my first day flying solo will be interesting since I wont be in my comfort zone of my home, my fridge / food choices etc but I have complete confidence that I will choose my breakfast and lunch for what my body now wants and needs – healthy, nutritious, wholesome food!

So my running refeed information is as follows:
Day: 1
Weight: 69.8Changes / Additions: Add 30g Protein, Add 40g Vegetables,
Add 1 ‘Good Fruit’, Have 1 slice of bread,
2 Crispbreads
Breakfast: 175g Yoghurt with 100g Blueberries
Snack: ½ Orange and 1 crispbread
Lunch: Chicken Salad (added 15g extra chicken) with normal amount of vegetables for chicken option.
Snack: 1 x ½ orange and 1 x ½ orange and 1 crispbread
Dinner: Beef stirfry / goulash (add 15g extra beef) and an extra 40g vegetables on top of normal vegetable amount.
Snack: ½ orange
Water Intake: Am still keeping it between 3 and 3.5 litres as it’s out of habit now.
How I’m feeling so far: Well I’ve only had my breakfast and 1st snack so far but just with having the yogurt with fruit this morning already made me feel much fuller plus the new fruit gave me a different feeling really. 100g blueberries is actually quite a lot so I blitzed half of them into my yogurt in my magic bullet and had the rest on the side. I felt really quite satisfied and excited by the flavour etc however I did feel fuller than when I just have had the yoghurt in the past because I never mixed or ate anything else with it as I didn’t like the thought of any of the program fruits mixed with yogurt by themselves. So feeling fuller. I actually had my snack because it was time to not because I actually felt I needed it but I think once I re-settle after a few days with the extra I will be able to re-establish that equilibrium with myself and the moment I just want to make sure I fit everything in because even just with the 1 extra fruit I was struggling to think where to fit it in. I’m in such a routine!
I’m looking forward to the extra veggies in my dinner tonight and thought I would just add them to my dinner meal instead of splitting it just to see how I go. The last few weeks I have been wanting just a little bit more shredded cabbage etc for my dinner meal and that’s really why and because my lunch meal size is just perfect for what I want for lunch. It’s not too much or too little. Protein I will certainly increase for lunch but salad / veg wise it’s just perfect.

I have left me options open to have my piece of bread with dinner but am still deciding if I am going to take the plunge or not – I may chicken out since it’s only day 1 and just have my cracker but thought if there was one meal I would like it with it would be dinner. At the end of the day I am going out tonight to an intimo lingerie party so if I decide against it I will have 1 cracker when I eat dinner and then take the other 2 to have while I’m at the party and everyone else is induldging in cheese platters.

So today I feel I have everything planned so that I can still have options and flexibility and I feel confident and not so scared anymore. Last night when trying on a few different items of clothes that before not only would have looked hiddeous but I also just wouldn’t have been seen dead in and then actually feeling wonderful and confident in helped. I think last night when we got home and I put everything on again and I move around the house I really started to feel comfortable in my new look. Since buying some of the new work clothes I have in the last few weeks as much as when I look at myself in the mirror I have thought I looked good and professional and how I wanted to portray myself but I have still had a niggling thought in my head saying ‘can I really carry this look off or do I look silly’. Last night I looked at myself and felt confident, amazing and said to myself ‘this is your look, this is you and what your about.’ I really do feel comfortable in my new skin.

Well I cant wait to post some photos once I have finished my refeed… I’m excited about how I feel, look, see myself and how I am now the person inside and out that I am portraying to people that I am… NO MORE HIDING!!!

Well best go for now…

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week and is going well on their journey… EVERY LITTLE BIT IS SO SO SO WORTH IT!!!!!!!!

L x

:party:
 
Lauren, I have been feeling miserable & crabby for a few days & I just read your diary & I must tell you you just cheered me up. I am excited & thrilled for you!! I will read your diary every day. I got over the nervousness of re-feed quickly & just enjoyed the food. I lost a further 1.5kg on my 19 day re-feed. I didn't bother with bread much. Some of the things I thought I would enjoy I didn't, like milk & have given up permanently. Bread bloats me so only rarely have it. It's fun to test the reactions! All the best with it. Cheers, Cate.
 
Thanks for your comments Cate. I’m glad I could cheer you up a bit! This week has just been so horrible and flat out for me I am really looking forward to the weekend. I must admit my little adventure last night really cheered me up because Wednesday and yesterday were particularily bad days. The incident I referred to that occurred was particularly nasty but I guess somewhat expected with working in the transport industry. A cyclist was using one of our trucks for a free cruise down one of our city streets and therefore didn’t realise the truck was indicating to turn and ended up being run over. There is still no news other than critical on the cyclist and it doesn’t look good for him long term either way and our driver is obviously very traumatised also. This is the most major incident I have had to deal with in my experience and career so far so I have certainly been feeling overwhelmed by it all. One Wednesday night I said to LB – it’s a glass of wine night tonight… so I’ve rainchecked it! Ha

I still haven’t finished your ‘surprise’ but hope to get to it over the weekend. I will also respond to your email – it’s just been so manic and I’ve been struggling to even get to the home computer to turn it on with how busy I’ve been!

Thanks again and keep your chin up!

L x
 
Hi Lauren

Well done on reaching refeed and being in the 60's. Sorry to hear about your days at work. Life throws you curve balls that's for sure. Keep up the positive work, I like Cate really enjoyed reading your diary it made me happy to see you reach your goals.

I also look forward to seeing some photo's post refeed of you. Maybe you could wear that evening dress you bought from Target......or is that too BIG now hehehe!!!!!.

Have you any plans once you finish refeed?

Have a great weekend and will catch up again next week.

Sam:)
 
So my running refeed information is as follows:
Day: 2
Weight: 69.6kg
Changes / Additions: Add 60g Protein, Add 40g Vegetables,
Add 1 ‘Good Fruit’, Have 1 slice of bread and 2 Crispbreads (Had 5 crisp breads instead of the bread)
Breakfast: Mushroom and asprargus omlette with sliced tomato on 2 crispbread.
Snack: 1 Peach
Lunch: Chicken Salad with normal amount of vegetables for chicken option.
Snack: ½ orange and 1 crispbread
Dinner: Meatloaf with mushroom and asparagus spears through the middle with salad and cabbage with reduced balsamic dressing.
Snack: 150g rockmelon and 1/2 orange fruit salad
Water Intake: Am catching up as this morning was poor but that's just because we were out and about.
How I’m feeling so far: Wonderful after day 1. The scales still went down which was great but my day has been out of whack timing wise. I was up at 6.30am and had breakfast and then did some stuff around the house before we had to go and get our eyes tested and new glasses. While we were at the shops we decided to do a little wardrobe staples shopping for me (as if Thursday night wasn't enough) and then a few bits and pieces to get organised for Christmas before I realised it was already 1pm... WHERE DID THE DAY GO! I hadn't had my snacks, nearly as much water as I normally would have by this time and I was 2 hours over due for my lunch... and I wasn't the slightest bit hungry. We still had a few things to do while out including some grocery shopping for my added items required. I bought myself a peach so I could at least have something and that tided my over till we got home at 3.30pm when I made and scoffed my lunch. We had already decided that we would go to the drive ins tonight as it's such gorgeous weather so it's not a big deal to have a later dinner and has actually probably worked out better because the 1st movie doesn't start till 8.30pm with daylight savings. I got both our dinners and snacks ready and then put my Christmas tree... well it's entangled willow with some glass boubles I made... it looks modern and I like it... up and now am being rushed out the door.

I just wanted to make sure I got my post in!

Will write more and better tomorrow!

L x
 
Just wanted to say

CONGRATULATIONS on reaching refeed!!

Thanks so much for your detailed account of how how you are finding it! It is really useful!

Blessya
Kanndew
:party:
 
So my running refeed information is as follows:
Day: 3
Weight: 69.8kg
Changes / Additions: Add 60g Protein, Add 80g Vegetables,
Add 1 ‘Good Fruit’, Have 1 slice of bread and 2 Crispbreads
Breakfast: Yoghurt and blueberries
Snack: 3/4 Orange
Lunch: Chicken Salad (added 30g protein and 40g vegetables) and 1 slice of wholemeal bread.
Snack: 3/4 Orange
Dinner: Crumbed (salada crumbs) prawns and calamari with salad, mayo and 1/4 lemon.
Snack: 1/4 orange.
Water Intake: 4 litres.
How I’m feeling so far: Well today I had my structure back which felt great. Yesterday just seemed to get away from me and it was so out of wack that it threw everything out. I actually put the extra 200g down to that since I ate so late, didn't have my water properly (consumed most of it at the end of the day in a glut) and also severely slipped with the salt at the drive-ins due to the dark but even if I didn't have such realistic things to put it onto I wouldn't be too worried about 200g anyway!
I was a bit disappointed after having the bread on Day 1 because I didn't have a bad side effect which I so desperately wanted as another reason to keep it out of my diet long term. Bread has always been one of my major downfalls but I think that will be enough for me anyway. Again, it's all about moderation. With how I feel about my life, myself and my body now (not just relating to being slim but also the other benefits I have had health and mentality wise) I have all confidence in myself to stay this way. I was hoping the gluten would play havoc with me since we have quite a bit of gluten intolerance in the family but after having today's slice it looks like I now have my extra motivation - the yeast... Dont want to get too in depth here but I think you will be able to get where I'm coming from. After eating it also with the increased protein and veg amounts I was feeling very full and slightly uncomfortable. Yesterday I only added my refeed additions to my dinner meal which made last night just shocking and it was purely because of the planning side of things and I'm determined for that not to be the case again so today I split the protein and veg extras equally between lunch and dinner. As I go along the days and they increase more and more I will try to still add just a slight bit more to dinner since that is generally my biggest meal so where my body needs to take that into account but will keep it pretty even i.e. Add 80g protein make it 50g dinner and 30g lunch but I will just take that with each day at a time.
I am already taking so much longer to eat, it's amazing how much of a difference an extra 30g protein / veg etc can make. I think back to when I started and I looked at 115g veg and thought is that is and now with 145g veg I think wow where is it going to fit. Tonight because I had seafood before it used to be my highest volume food and I would struggle getting it all on the plate but with an extra 30g protein and 40g veg tonight I really struggled. It was going everywhere when I was trying to cut things etc. In just 3 days oh how things have changed!

Well I'm looking for an early night tonight since I have only had about 5.5-6 hours each night for the last two and I have been tired and grumpy all day. I need to get my full 8 hours tonight because it's going to be a shocker of a week this week with my boss back from 5 weeks holiday and briefing and working through everything that has happened plus the major incident etc. Plus being super organised on my refeed of course...

Thanks Kannadew for your post. I remember when Cate gave detailed accounts and it helped me so much because it's just such an unknown and I certainly think it's helped me deal with the lead up and also the planning much more because it gave a bit of understanding of what to expect. I hope it can help you too.

I hope everyone has had a great weekend.

Take care.

L x




L x
 
Day 4

So my running refeed information for today:
Day: 4
Weight: 70.0kg
Changes / Additions: Add 60g Protein, Add 80g Vegetables,
Add 2 ‘Good Fruit’, Have 1 slice of bread and 2 Crispbreads (keeping just to the crispbreads so 0 bread and 5 crispbreads)
Breakfast: Soft boiled egg with aspsragus and tomato and 2 crispbreads.
Snack: Peach and crispbread
Lunch: Chicken Salad (added 30g protein and 40g vegetables), Mayo and 150g rockmelon.
Snack: Peach and crispbread
Dinner: Beef and veg in some form (added 30g protein and 40g vegetables).
Snack: 150g Rockmelon
Water Intake: 3-4 litres.
How I’m feeling: This morning when I woke up I was feeling quite heavy and bloated in the bowel region and have been wishing for a BM. Then when I got on the scale and saw I was back on 70.0kg I felt somewhat disappointed but wasn't surprised. I did feel a sense of relief in the way that I know it's the bread etc so actually having the knowledge now on how to deal with it straight away did somewhat empower me also. I'm actually glad it's had an effect as I posted yesterday. If we go out somewhere nice / special and they have lovely hot fresh baked dinner rolls served I may have one but it was something I didn't really want to get back into the habit of having every day or even every week so it's good to have the additional motivation to not go there. I took some powder to help the BM along as I was actually hoping one of the bread benefits would be that but no so I am hoping that I will restabilsed once I have erradicated it from my system! Sorry if that was all a bit too much info for anyone!

Today I have been feeling quite hungry which I guess is good in the sense that I am doing refeed at the right time but sitting here now just having finished my lunch and rockmelon I am feeling overly full again. I'm glad my protein and veg dont go up again for till Wednesday. I need another day to get used to this addition. I still feel all out of wack just sleep wise and therefore body clock wise from Friday and Saturday nights and was so happy that it was Monday again so that I can get that back into check. I have my meeting at the Institute of Fitness at 5pm tonight which I am really excited about. Hopefully I can start my certificate in personal training early in the new year. I am really looking forward to it, mainly from a personal perspective as I have always loved being fit it's just been the food I have struggled with. I am in two minds about starting to exercise already. I am quite active moving around a lot during the day and as much as I am itching to get back into the pool and running I just want to get my refeed over without any extra. But then I think now that I'm eating that bit more should I add in a 20-30 minute walk while on refeed and is that the reason the scale has gone up. But then I think what if that makes my scale go up muscle mass wise and I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking. I think I have just decided to chill out and take this part of the process in without the extra. I know they say you can start to do more etc but for me I just want it all to be consistant.

I know it's only 400g at this stage so it's not any time to panic yet - I just hope I wont have to go back and repeat, but if I do then that's what I have to do! OMG - I am not makeing any sense... just rambling!!! Cate - I now get why you said you wish you just waited 1-2 more kilos before starting refeed... As much as you know it's all ok seeing that 6 first is a nice feeling and even at 70.0 I though... oh... I would have been happier to have 69 as I upper limit etc etc etc. But in saying that also with starting to train the amount I plan to for triathlons etc I expect to go up 3-5kg in weight but lose a number of cms still. Where I am body and clothes wise is where I want to stay and I will just have to see where my exercise takes me. At the end of the day it's nice to know that I can drop a couple of kilo's if need be back on the program etc (obviously not over 2 weeks though) but as I have said the whole way along I will follow the pricipals and guidelines and start training and after 12 weeks I will assess where I am, where I want to go and what other changes I may need to make. I need to keep myself in line to make sure I dont go rushing into any of the directions and base what I do on how my training and eating affects me.

Another thing I have confirmed were my thoughts and feelings on the processed foods. Just having bread on those 2 occasions I have found myself to be picking at my hair again... BIG NO NO AND NOT WORTH IT!!! Now with my hair all chopped off again I cant afford any bald patches and after just a few months of not pulling it has improved so so much. Processed food - BAD FOR LAUREN!!!

Anyway - go to run. May come back tonight and see what activity is about!

L x
 
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