Jaclyn's diary

I'll definitely have to look into some control top something or other. I liked that dress, but I can't stand looking bulgy.

I wish someone would set me up Jennifer! My best friend refuses to because she doesn't want to be responsible for any bad breakups or anything. To be fair, I haven't really made myself available since my ex and I stopped seeing each other, but I think I'm ready now. It's just a matter of meeting someone. I'm pretty busy and I don't put myself in situations where people are looking. Where do I go? School, work, the grocery store, the library, the gym...yep, I'm pretty boring.

So I drove down south and it poured the whole time. I could barely, see where I was going for most of the drive, but I got here safely, which is all that matters. Then my mom and I went shopping and she bought me foods I could eat while I'm here. We did go out to dinner with my brother, and I was pretty good.

Snack:
Nectarine (40)

Snack:
Yoplait Light Fat Free Apple Yogurt (100)

No lunch!!! I know, I know! It won't happen again.

Dinner:
Outback with Mom and brother. I did pretty good considering. My brother ordered the Bloomin Onion, which is a cut vidalia onion dep fried and served with sauce and I didn't have one bite. He also got french fries which I would normally pick from, but I didn't touch them. And no dessert.
I had:
Dinner salad which had lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber, and 3 really good crutons :rolleyes: with fork dips of honey mustard (250?)
Slice of brown bread with a dab of butter (100)
Cup of sauteed mushrooms (Yum! 100?)
Baked potato with tbsp butter and a tbsp sour cream (400?)

I have no idea about the calorie count of my dinner. Hopefully I'm overestimating. It's hard to know when you can't read the packages. I think I'm just going to be lazy for the rest of the night. I'll see my friends tomorrow.
 
The best way to meet great guys to date is through friends...but ya have to be smart....you dont do it like "i want you to meet this guy".."I want you to meet this girl"...you have dinner parties/picnics/bbq's/baseball game where they get to sit together, or be on the same team that kinda thing...sometimes they dont even know you played cupid...well I kinda clue my girlfriends in...or they may say they like a certain friend of my husbands...i just make opportunity for them to meet...and they have to do the rest.
 
I wish someone would play cupid for me. Or that cupid would just find me his damn self. :)

So a great thing happened. I saw my brother's girlfriend today, who I haven't seen since right before I started my diet and later on my brother told me that she mentioned to him that I looked like I had lost weight. I was really happy, because she's a completely objective observer, and she had no idea I was dieting, which means she wasn't expecting me to look different. So that was really great.

Dessert:
Cup of blueberries and raspberries with 2 tbsp Cool Whip (100)
 
It's alwqays nice to be at home. I'm still super excited about my brother's girlfriend noticing my weight loss. And I stepped on my friend's scale today and it said I'm down another 2 or 3 pounds.

Breakfast:
Egg Beaters (70)
2 Slices Veggie Bacon (60)
Orange juice (50)

For lunch I went out to Fridays with a friend.
Lunch:
"Strawberry Fields" Salad, which had romaine, balsamic marinated strawberries, pecans, and parmesan cheese, with balsamic vinegarette, which I had on the side. It was okay, I have no idea what the calorie count was. She got a brownie with ice cream for dessert and I ignored it.

For dinner my mom and I are ordering from the pizza restaurant my brother works at. He'll be making my pizza, so hopefully he'll go easy on the olive oil. I'll post exactly how much of it I eat after I get it. It's tough to be good when you're not at home, but I think I'm doing good. Another friend noticed my weight loss (after I said something about being on a diet.) But it was still cool.
 
Dinner:
3 small pieces of veggie pizza, which had tomatoes, eggplant, and broccoli, made by my little brother. It was very good. I'm sure it was loaded with fat and calories. I'm doing my best in this out of the norm setting.

I wish my family took better care of themselves. My friends too. Even before my diet I still ate a more wholesome diet than anyone I know. I overate majorly, had too much regular soda, and I snacked too frequently, which is why I got fat, but I still avoided white bread as much as possible and I've always loaded up on fruits and vegetables. I used to get made fun of in high school because I always brought apples and little bags of Cheerios. When I was growing up my mom would cook dinners with veggies and she always had lots of fruit around. She never bought regular soda or sugary juices. But now all my mom and brother eat is junk-cookies, chips, candy, fried food. Since my brother works at the Italian restaurant my mom gets take out from there a lot. She's put on a lot of weight the past few years. It's really weird. My friends also don't take care of themselves the way they should. They smoke and drink too much and they don't eat right. Of course I have no right to criticize anyone and I don't. I haven't said anything at all to anyone, but I am making a lot of observations. It's my mom's health I'm most worried about. Physical and mental. It seems to me she's just given up on everything. After I moved out she and my brother moved to this tiny little apartment and it's a complete disgusting mess. I can't believe my mother actually lets her home be like this. They both smoke inside, so it reeks. She never cooks anymore. It's really weird for me. I like coming home because I love my family and all of my old friends and I love spending time with them, but it seems like everyone is in this awful depressive slump.

I was also talking to one of my friends who spent time with my best friend/roommate earlier in the week and I mentioned something about not knowing where I would live after I graduate college and she said that my best friend said something to her about getting a place with her boyfriend. Which would mean I'd be on my own. It's okay with me...her boyfriend lives with us now, which I'm not crazy about, but it's tolerable. I wouldn't want to get another place with both of them though, since he doesn't pay us rent or anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting cheated, but she'd be even more miserable than she already is without him, and if he didn't live with us he would have to move back to Fort Lauderdale. But it's really weird for me to think about living all by myself. I'm alone a lot anyway. I wish I wasn't, but all of my friends live down south and I never really made new friends in Orlando because I'm busy a lot. I work, I go to school, ect. I'm also kind of a homebody. I don't like to go out and party or go to clubs. So as a result I'm single and I don't have a social life. But I still feel weird about actually living alone. My best friend and I have a really good time together. But things have changed since her boyfriend moved in. I feel really alone sometimes when I see them together. I would definitely rather get my own place and live alone than get another place with both of them. Granted I get the cat. That's a whole other story. I don't know how we'll decide who gets him, but I'll die if I have to live alone and I can't even have the cat that I found for us and I sleep with every night. The whole thing is really weird to think about.

I'm sorry, I know this is a diet/food diary, but sometimes I need to use it as a regular diary too. Ugh, I do feel really weird right now.

And all of my friends are crazy. They really are. I can't believe out of everyone I know I'm the only one who really has it together. It's depressing and satisfying at the same time.

Blah.
 
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Ugh, I woke up early to buy my Black Crowes ticket online. Of course I got charged all of the extra fees for buying it online, but whatever.

Breakfast:
Cup of plain Team Cheerios (my brother drank all the milk...now I remember why I moved out!...110)
Orange Juice (50)

Snack:
1/2 cup raspberries (30)
 
I need to go back to Orlando and get back into my exercise and immaculate eating routine.

I went out to lunch with a friend. I didn't do too bad-I skipped the delicious smelling rolls they put on the table and I got fruit instead of fries as my side, but...

Lunch:
Grilled Veggie Melt, which had broccoli, mushrooms, tomatoes, and zucchini on top of a pita, covered in melted cheddar and mozzerella.

A billion calories?

Who knows...it was the cheese that made it bad-I didn't think there would be so much! I should have known. I pushed off a lot of it, but it was pretty good. I didn't have fries, I didn't have bread...water for my drink. Oy vey. The cheese!

Everyone wants to go out to eat-it's so hard at restaurants to be good. Everything is so big and packed with calories. My clothes are feeling very loose though. And I also resisted drinking with the girls last night and I resisted a plate of fries offered to me by my friend. I'm not even a big drinker, but I like an Amaretto Sour once in awhile. Not now though. Luckily my friend decided not to drink either-she got a BLT with fries instead and kept accidentally offering me fries and then feeling bad. I keep telling my friends and my mom not to feel bad though, because I have willpower and I'm in this for the long haul, so if they keep feeling bad they're just going to wear themselevs out.
 
Dinner yesterday:
Lean Cuisine Ravioli (250)

Breakfast this morning:
Egg Beaters (60)
Veggie Bacon (60)
Orange Juice (50)
 
Well, I'm back in Orlando. Time to get back on the ball. Food today:

Salad, which had lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and onion, with fork dips of honey mustard. (200)

Veggie Pita, which had sauteed mushrooms, onions, and eggplant, in my mom's tomato sauce, in half a pita pocket. (250?)

Veggie Burger with tbsp of ketchup and a salad with lettuce, carrots, and tomatoes, with 2 tbsp of Lite Sweet Vidalia dressing. (210)

Dessert:
WW Cookie Ice Cream bar (120)
 
Sounds like you got to the grocery store when you pulled back into town!
Glad you had a nice time.
I'm amazed at your will power. I know this is for the long haul, but I allow myself a bit more freedom than you. I would have had the fries and maybe one drink. (I've never had an ameretto sour. I might have to give that a try the next time a bar presents itself! ;)) Afterall, it isn't everyday that you head out with this group of friends.
I'm just so impressed with all the changes you have made and continue to make!
Totallyscrappy
 
Thanks Totallyscrappy, it means a lot to me when my efforts are recognized. I know I could allow myself more freedom, but I'm afraid if I do it once I'll let it happen too often, and I'll eventually fall into my old habits. But I think that if you can cheat a little more often, but stick to it much more after your cheat then power to you! Oh, and Amaretto Sours are my favorites-I'm telling you, liquid candy. Yum.

Breakfast:
Bowl of Team Cheerios with reduced fat milk (150)
Orange Juice (50)

I woke up early this morning to go to the gym. It better be open!
 
Went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes.

Lunch:
Veggie Burger with a little ketchup and mustard (120)
Orange (80)
 
I completely understand wanting/needing to use this as a place to vent about stuff unrelated to your food and exercise. Sometimes all of that other stuff impacts how we feel about ourselves more than we think and it's good to just let it out. I also have been frustrated by the unhealthy eating habits of my family. I just spent two weeks with them, and it was so hard to eat healthy b/c they kept trying to shove food down my throat. We have always been a family of big eaters, and now that i'm trying to eat smaller healthier portions, my dad is freaking out. I wish there was a way I could try to get them to change their ways, but unfortunately, that will only happen if they are willing to do it. The best that both of us can do is to be role models, and hope that they will start to take better care of themselves.
 
Diet is so much about routine and structure isnt it...yes the free spirit in me...finds that as a bit of a challenge. Perhaps why anal A type personalities are thin...but man life must be stressful and boring!!!!!!!
 
amomono: I completely agree. Hopefully someday our families will notice how big of a difference our eating habits make and will take our efforts as an example.

And Jenn, my best friend is super anal, and also very thin. She's stressed out all the time! I'm glad I'm able to relax sometimes and take things in stride. On one hand the routine and structure is a little tough to get used to, but at the same time I really like the control I have over myself now. I know that I can do anything if I really want to.

Well, I had to go out and buy a belt. My pants are at the point where they just won't stay up, no matter what. I've hit my 25 pound mark-I'm super happy about it, and going strong. I can't thank all of you guys enough for being there for me and helping me along the way. I couldn't have gotten this far without you.

Dinner:
Lean Cuisine Angel Hair Pasta in Tomato Sauce (260)
Apple (70)
Fat free pudding (100)

I feel funny in a belt...I've never worn one before.
 
Woo Hoo is right! And a girl at work commented on how good I look. :) :) :)

Snack:
Yoplait Light Fat Free Berries and Cream Yogurt (100)

Snack:
Slim Fast Crispy Peanut Caramel Snack Bar (120)
 
congrats fuunky....25lbs way to go!!!!!!!!
 
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