Jack's Diary

Cate said:
I thought I would get that answer :)
One day you will think "That's it. I'm done." & you will know that it's time. Work on your terms, Jack.
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Words of wisdom, Cate.

Sucks that Van Morrisson gave a bad show. Leaves a bad taste. Sometimes you have to separate the individual from the music, I guess?
 
Interesting day yesterday. I had to get a PC out to a site, but it wasn't so straightforward because I had to wait for our reps to answer a couple of questions, and it got late, although I finally got it shipped. The rep for the account kept saying he was going to nominate me for an all-star, several times, but I just finally said thanks, but it wasn't me, it was a lot of people helping. Which is true, everyone always lends a helping hand - for the most part.
 
Since Thursday, there was a field-rep in FLA who couldn't get the software to work. I was busy, but P wasn't helping him out, and the reps were complaining. I finally send some questions and a doc, then the boss chipped in asking the rep to send the configuration files.

Then I looked at the config files and it looked like they were wrong and I sent a suggested fix. Then P finally chipped in with a fix on top of mine.

But the guy still has problems, and P got stuck with another customer and asked me to help. I said I still had an hour to get the PC shipped, then I would help.

Anyway, long story short, it was a combination of an old product I didn't know much about and a rat's nest of an IP configuration. P came to help, but when the config file wouldn't load on an XML parsing error, he bailed and never came back - something I've never done to him. He usually helps, but you can't rely on him to stick around sometimes I guess.
 
I did get images partially working, but the rat's nest of an IP setup meant the guy couldn't even ping the other stuff he was supposed to add in, and at 6 pm he bailed for his flight.

I sent out an email detailing the problems. I stopped in my boss's office when I left.

He mentioned about, yeah it's cool to be an all-star, but we shouldn't be sending out PC's in the first place. I said I didn't care about that stuff.

The I asked him if he had signed off on my invoice, which was now two week late. He said he signed it last night. So he was sitting on it.

I said was it too many hours, and he was like we have to watch out, they like the contractors to stay near 40 hours. Well, ok, then why are you giving me so much work (I thought).

But the bottom line is he's been happily sitting on my paycheck for two weeks. That's scary and I don't like it.

And now my travel expenses (on my personal card) are going to have to go through him, too.
 
So, I didn't have a good feeling. P asked me earlier in the day if I was going to be available for the first week in Jan, and I said my contract didn't go that far. So he said, if it did, would you be? And I said yes. So he answered that guy that I would be available. Which I'm sure I will be (there goes the 12/31 retirement).

But I could be a hardo in the negotiations like they were to me last time. Like, invoice payable on receipt, for one thing. I don't trust my boss after he sat on my invoice like that.

Company phone for another thing.

Increase my rate. They took ALL of the difference between me and the temp agency, saving them $40 / hour and I don't earn a penny more. Less in fact, by 25 cents an hour. Not to mention 5 days off.

Of course, they could offer me a job. But I'm think I don't want it - not with the hours they are likely to grind out of me.
 
I think you would be wise not to commit to someone who is prepared to sit on your receipts for 2 weeks & who bails on you. It says something about him. You deserve respect & appropriate remuneration for your skills, dedication & commitment, Jack. Don't let them take advantage of you.
 
jackbenimble said:
They took ALL of the difference between me and the temp agency, saving them $40 / hour and I don't earn a penny more. Less in fact, by 25 cents an hour. Not to mention 5 days off.
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Hang that for a game of soldiers, as they say. Let alone that cutesy business about asking "if the contract allowed, would you be available?" and then telling the other person you were available, and sitting on your pay for two weeks. They definitely deserve to be dumped.
 
Yup. Either renegotiate something iron-clad or go enjoy your free time! Having choices can help you negotiate from a much stronger position.
 
Jack I agree with the other comments . It all sounds really stressful for you . You actually sound like you have the upper hand so if you want to stay on with them negotiate for everything you want . You don't really need the work from what you say .
 
Petal, LaMa, Aiminglow, Cate -

Wow, you guys are so supportive. You are such good people to support a random guy on the internet who doesn't really contribute much to the blog. I just want you to know I very much appreciate it.
 
Well, I still like P, although he bailed on me the other night. He's generally been very, very helpful. My boss is ok, but he doesn't give a consistent message and made me chase him to get my invoice signed. He's cannot talk about P without complaining about him. So, you know he's going to be complaining about me at some point as well.

I wanted them to bring up the negotiation, but probably 3rd week in Nov. I will let them know I don't plan to continue the contract. I will just say I want to go in a different direction. Say all nice things about them.

They will immediately figure out I don't have a plan. At that point, if I were them, I would say extend for say 3 months while we find another guy. I will say ok, but how about a pay bump. Hopefully, it will end up at 15%, although I should get more. Also, change the terms to payable on receipt.

Then that will be the end of it. So realistically we're looking at 5 more months. Ugh. At least the job is easier now. It gives me some time to figure it if I really want to continue.

Unless I really hold the line. That's the decision I have to make.
 
Some bullet points:
1. My weight is up to a hard 169 or 170 since I've been eating at night.
2. I will improve my slumpy posture. That's the #1 goal.
3. I've been listening to the Eckhart Tolle audio book. The more I listen, the more I get out of it. He gives me the whole picture - life, death, the cause of suffering (non-acceptance of reality), the difference between happiness (fleeting) and inner peace (long-term), the cyclical, impermanent nature of things. How the true self is not what you think, not what you identify as (ego), but rather a formless source being/presence/God from which we all are made, and which is our true self. One of his best quotes is from Buddha - the conception of "self" is the core error.

It's so different than the usual achievement-oriented/chase-your-dream/get better at stuff/achieve your goals/pursue happiness we are fed by a lot of the self-help gurus.

4. That said, I have to get better a defining and achieving my goals and spending my time more wisely.
 
One thing about the "resist nothing" approach is it helps with being married. There are certain aspects of my wife that I wish were different, and certainly, the reverse is true as well. But if I keep the focus on accepting her as she is ("as if you chose the situation yourself" as Eckhardt would say) instead of wishing it were otherwise, things definitely ease up. I already was doing that, but it's nice to be reminded of it. Don't fight reality, it's just going to make your life miserable.
 
So the trip was pretty interesting. But, I gained weight and am trucking at around 169-170 right. That's too heavy for me. My jeans feel snug. The trip this week isn't going to help. I need to learn the word's "I'll have a salad".

I feel like I could use a break. My boss has resisted opportunities to broach the subject of the contract upgrade and so have I. Previously, they would just come through the temp agency at the last minute and say "do you want to extend", and I would. I won't be talking to my boss this week either because we're both traveling. Next week, I think I will just say, I'm not planning to renew - I'm going to upgrade my skills or take a vacation or whatever.

I finally played a little bit of guitar today. I didn't go to C's to play guitar, because I was helping my sister move an old TV. Plus he might be playing out because the weather was good today.

Cr. called yesterday and asked if I wanted to catch the Celtics game. So we went to a local bar and the waitress/bartender was a knockout. I made a couple of attempts to flirt with her, but I'm probably like 40 years older than her. It was fun anyway.

I'm stressing about my so-called retirement. This is against the rules of Eckhardt Tolle and Dale Carnegie. Unless you come to a frickin' decision, it's just worry and worry kills. I have to think in terms of concrete actions and decisions.

I'm not feeling that great. Maybe something I ate. I hope it doesn't screw up my trip.
 
I rail against rules. Try not to think too much about your "retirement" right now, especially as you're not feeling that great. Do what you have to do, Jack as best you can.
 
Hi Jack I hope you are feeling better soon . Think a few of us on here have been a bit iffy recently .agree with Cate don’t think about retirement for a bit . Can I ask what age you are ? If you don’t mind saying
 
Hi Cate, Aiminglow & Petal -

Thanks for the well-wishes. Whatever I was feeling was going by Monday. I spent Tues-Friday in Atlanta, got back last night.

It wasn't bad - I went with J who is a cracker-jack developer, so I didn't have to stress out too much. The kid can fix anything. I was basically there to learn and to help with the just getting stuff configured. So, a fine trip. We ate well, and I was afraid to weigh myself this morning. But I waited till after I did my pushups and crunch, so I came in at 167.5, which was a relief.

These trips are a nice distraction from the usual routine, but really it's just work, eating out and hanging around in the hotel watching tv and answering emails. Pretty boring actually.

Today I need to send in my expenses plus my invoice for the last couple of weeks. I think I can bill for travel time, so it should be a good chunk. I don't want to be all day on it, so I'm going to try to keep my focus.

Petal - to answer your question, I'm 62.
 
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