I keep getting stood up by chicks.. wtf am I doing wrong?!

RWS.....always remember:

Go shopping for groceries on a full stomach

Evaluate your relationship with a woman 5 minutes after you shoot your wad, 5 seconds if your Tom.

Remember what I told you in PM, it can save your life one day! :D
 
Now that's good advice ;)
 
oiy, I feel like **** about all this stuff. I have gotten to know her pretty well now and I really don't want to hurt her.

I like being with her, I like her kids, they like me, I would be happier with her in my life right now.... but, I don't want to just be with her knowing that in the end I will probably end up hurting her, I can't bear to see her get hurt, she's already been through way too much. :(

Most guys would look at her and think "yeah, she's pretty vulnerable right now... I am just gonna take advantage of this", not me though, uuuuuuugh
 
Why? Are you ready for the responsibility of kids now :p

I think I missed something here. Things were good and now you don't want to hurt her? You've been together for a week. You barely know each other. If you're not ready to be responsible for kids that aren't your own, just say so.

She'll be bummed out if she likes you, but it's better to nip it in the bud than prolong the inevitable.
 
BikeSwimLaugh said:
.......and soon enough you'll be posting about how you wanna break-up with your girlfriend and don't know how. :)
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Typhon said:
:yelrotflmao:
True; if it's not one problem it's another with women
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realworksuks said:
oiy, I feel like **** about all this stuff. I have gotten to know her pretty well now and I really don't want to hurt her.
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OUTSTANDING PROGRESS!!!!!

First of all, don't ya be throwin' the Yiddish lessed you've got the cirucumcision to back it up! Fairly warned be thee! :D

So all things considered, youv'e discovered a conscious and you don't want to shop-life the putty, even for the sake of burying length and draining fluid (did I phrase that right Tom?;))

Kudo's to you for not being just another neanderthal pounding sheep (not that there's anything wrong with that)...but seriously, considering others is a big plus and in the end, it'll go a long way to you one day having a relationship that will work & last.

I say....spend time and enjoy the friendship, soon enough she'll call the ball and ask where things are headed...at that point you need to be honest with her...AND yourself. Just as some guys can be interested in satisfying thier sexual needs, so too can some divorced w/kids people also be gunning for a replacement partner even if "love" has nothing to do with it...so I'm just saying insincere gestures can go both ways when entering into complicated relationships....much as I said earlier; your traversing delicate waters when dealing with a divorced woman w/kids. Hey, they deserve to be happy & fulfilled...but so do you.

If it were easy, it wouldn't be LIFE...in the end, I think the idea is to explore, learn, mature & grow...without leaving a wake of spiteful people behind ya. But what would I know? I'm just a guy who thinks the entry doors to buffets should be limited to 16-inches wide in an effort to moderate consumption by morbidly obese people.

Btw....in 3 pages of this thread you'll be posting "How do I get rid of my stalking ex-girlfriend?".......
 
LeiYunFat said:
Wise BSL is wise
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Thanks Bro....there is a method to my madness, not The Crystal Method, but a System of a Down.

tonymcclellan said:
maybe she just wants a friend under the sheets??
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No Tony....people who just had their boat sank don't want another Martini, they want a life raft or another boat to pick them up. Hey, hate the game, not the player. ;)

-OR-

Ya know the women at the gym who have the fake boobs, wear outfits 2 sizes too small and are scantly clad....do you REALLY think they're there just for the exercise and truly despise the attention they get while trying to earnestly workout?

-OR-

Tony. someone has hacked your screen name! :sad3:
 
Abandon Ship... All hands on deck...

Know what though, if you established that its all sex and that's all you want... The break-up sex might be pretty damn good. All inhibitions are off and she is not playing the nice girl role and let loose and so can you. Grab hold of the handle bar and enjoy the plunge, which will probably followed by a few nights out with the guys to get wasted.
 
i_love_muscle said:
Why? Are you ready for the responsibility of kids now :p

I think I missed something here. Things were good and now you don't want to hurt her? You've been together for a week. You barely know each other. If you're not ready to be responsible for kids that aren't your own, just say so.

She'll be bummed out if she likes you, but it's better to nip it in the bud than prolong the inevitable.
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That's a very good point; don't get involved unless you're prepared to be a daddy as they come as a package deal and you need to work out if you're prepared for that before you're introduced.
 
this girl definitely is looking for a long term relationship. She has hinted at it many times.. and about how she is liking me as a prospect.

"I don't want to force my kids on you or anything... but, I can't believe how good you are with them. And it's so great to have you there to hold one of them while I take care of the other"

Things like that.

I definitely know what her intentions are... and I don't want to get her hopes up, so I have been honest with her. Saying things like:

"I don't know what we are right now, all I know is that I like being here with you...but I don't know if I can take on all this responsibility right now"

etc. etc.


Argh.. it's hard. Yesterday the baby who is 1 years old was crying like crazy. She went to pick him up and was trying to shhhh him by rocking him etc... he kept crying. Then I put my hand on his head and said "shhh, it's ok" and just felt his face in a loving way. He quit crying and just laid on his mom's shoulder staring at me with his big blue eyes. Some pink floyd was playing on her CD player in the background and it was just intoxicating.
 
She's on you like white on rice. That's WAY too fast. She should be taking a lot longer to assess her children's step-daddy. If she is dropping hints like that already after a week or two, she's either desperate, psycho, or both.

RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

That's my $0.02. But I'd be running if a guy was doing what she's doing. It's just too much too soon. It's not sane.
 
i_love_muscle said:
She's on you like white on rice. That's WAY too fast. She should be taking a lot longer to assess her children's step-daddy. If she is dropping hints like that already after a week or two, she's either desperate, psycho, or both.

RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

That's my $0.02. But I'd be running if a guy was doing what she's doing. It's just too much too soon. It's not sane.
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It didn't even feel wrong to me though. I mean, we just feel very comfortable around eachother and don't hold anything back. Just speak our minds.
 
I understand what you're saying, but just because it doesn't feel wrong doesn't make it right.

I don't know either of you, so the bottom line here is you know best ;)
 
realworksuks said:
Some pink floyd was playing on her CD player in the background and it was just intoxicating.
Click to expand...

It was "Comfortably Numb"....wasn't it?

Look man....kids are great and there's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable with that situation. Many guys marry into a package-deal and are quite happy. Just be aware that if this gal did not have kids and an ex, her behavior would LIKELY be quite a bit different.

You have to understand something...ugly as it may be, many guys will shy-away from a woman who was married and has kids....that leaves these woman in a rather "unique" situation. Nobody wants to say it and we all feel evil "going there". From what you're describing, she's trying to prompt & close the deal a bit too quickly. In all honesty RWS...if this gal didn't have kids, do you think she'd be closing as fast & hard as she is??? Her behavior and needs are being altered by a set of circumstances. Fact is, she made HER decisions and while the ex may have been a jerk, she still has her life to live and if it's going to compromise yours, it'll just be something that goes sour later.

I say it's way too early to be discussing all this stuff. Give it 4-6 months and then touch on it. If she tries to crunch you for an answer sooner, I'd be inclined to concur with ILM and put your running shoes on. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you only get ONE life to live.
 
Damn; you’ve met the kids already?

In that case it’s decision time; you stay or go. If you go now it’ll hurt her but the kids should be OK, but if you allow the kids to get close to you and then you break up you’ll be breaking the kids hearts too and that’s a thousand times worse than just hers.

I'm not saying you should end things, but you need to decide whether she is ‘the one’ pretty damn quick. Either that or tell her you should only meet away from her children.

I agree with ILM and BSL, this woman is pushing things way too fast. It’s the first rule of dating when you have kids; never let your kids meet the person you’re dating unless it’s definitely a long term deal
 
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