Floater's diary

Motherfuckerrrrrr the machine said my body fat % is 40. I would not have thought it's that high!! Luckily, my muscle mass was high so I guess I'll just add more cardio and tweak my diet.
 
Yesterday I started the new meso doing 6x6, plan is to increase cardio because I find it helpful in weight loss, and of course I need to be mindful of my eating and aim for a -200kcal deficit for now. But the thought doesn´t make me anxious. I had fun massing, built some decent muscle, and now I know I´m at a higher bodyfat percentage than I had thought, so time to cut that down to around 30%.
 
Feeling kind of happy. Seeing the InBody results and realizing I have more fat on me than I thought was a bit nasty at first but on the other hand, based on last year I know exactly what to do to lose weight and it´s going to be interesting to see how my recent gains look when I get the fat percentage lower. It´s strange that with my level of physical activity and being sober the machine still said I have over the safe amount of visceral fat (especially as I don´t really carry my fat around my midsection). Maybe my massing surplus was just too big, or maybe the store-bought protein drinks with sugar in them had something to do with it. But I guess we´ll see what a difference a week will do as I plan to get another reading next Friday.
 
So it´s nighttime and when I was massing I had such an easy time falling asleep with a full belly. No such luck tonight or for a long time for that matter... In order to go from 40% bodyfat to 30, I need to loose 25% of the fat mass I´m carrying right now. The machine, of course, told me to lose 20kg but it´s not a good goal. However, 25% of 20 kg is 5 kg, so if the machine was somewhat correct about my body comp, theoretically losing 5 kg should put me around 30% bodyfat, right? I´m ravenous and regretting that I didn´t write down everything I ate today because then I could look at the list and remind myself that it was certainly enough.

I want to have some yogurt or cottage cheese so goddamn bad. I guess I will have some, because I can´t sleep being this hungry.
 
I´m also freaking out about whether my gym program is good enough/if it will get me anywhere. And there´s no way to find out but to try it out and see. I´m terrified of losing gains if I only go 3x weekly... But summertime is risky when it comes to overtraining anyway because of the sunlight. Fuck. Fuuuuck I wish I could afford a coach so I wouldn´t have to keep trial and erroring it.
 
Feeling good today. I don´t need to starve in order to create a slight kcal deficit; all I need to do is to tweak things a bit, use less oil in cooking, have my yogurt without honey and soy flakes, cut down on store-bought protein drinks. I´ll allow myself up to one of them per day as they are my favorite treat; but most of my energy intake has to come from solids because otherwise I can´t create a safe deficit.

I wrote a blog post about my experience with the InBody machine. I´ve switched to writing in English because my stuff just reaches more readers that way. In case anyone´s interested, here´s a link. https://lahionoita.home.blog/2024/05/12/the-oracle/

I´m actually kind of excited for getting to see how the numbers will have changed by next Friday!
 
Session 2 of my homebrew 6x6 program and I loved every second. I squatted 50, 60, 60, 60, 70, 70; could have gone with even more intensity but I'm a bit overcautious sometimes. Overhead pressed 25, 25, 25, failed in the 4thset on my 4th rep and switched to 22,5 and finished the remaining sets with it. Finally, bent-over rows starting with 30, sets 4 and 5 with 35, final set with 40. Could probably have gone harder but I'll know that next week.

Then I spent 5 mins on the treadmill alternating between walking and jogging on a steep incline. Running is psychologically tough for me because of my jiggly jugs. And no, a good sports bra helps a little but doesn't erase the jiggle. I still want to get back into running and easing into it helps, as does the incline lol.

Tomorrow is psychotherapy and pool workout day.
 
Psychotherapy was good! Migraine is looming but I stay hydrated and kinda try to work around it. I´m doing foodprep (pork tenderloin, black beans, sweet potato) and after I´m done and have portioned and fridged the dish, I want to go for a walk. I have a pool workout in my calendar for today but I need to get spices as well and I feel really restless today. Maybe OCD? I feel like I need a specific spice in order for next week´s doc appointment to succeed. Magical thinking of course.
 
I had lunch, which cleared out the OCD thoughts. Oh, now that I´m here, better write down my meals so far. I may not track every single day and meal to this accuracy but here we go:

Breakfast: 300g of quark yogurt, 171 kcal, 26,4g of protein.
Snack: a 250ml protein drink with 210 kcal, 22g of protein. (Because the yogurt wasn´t enough and I was ravenous by the time I was in therapy...)
Lunch: a chicken breast with beans, tomatoes and olives, 300g of pineapple 171 kcal, 1dl of hemp protein 150 kcal, 22g of protein. Not gonna calculate the kcals and protein for the chicken dish, because I don´t have a kitchen scale. And in any case it matters more that I know the kcals and protein amounts in my store-bought prepackaged snacks because those are what make or break my cutting goals. My home cooking is healthy, low fat, high protein, high fiber generally so the choices I make about yogurts, protein drinks and such are the thing I need to pay attention to.

TBH IDK if the quark yogurt is just not enough kcals for breakfast. I need to try it out and see. What matters is I want something high in protein for breakfast that is easy to eat even if I´m nauseous, and the quark yogurt fits the bill.

BTW, turns out I used the InBody machine wrong - the hand sensors come off the trunk of the machine! Next Friday we´ll see how much this affected the readings or if it did at all. :)
 
Made it to the pool. Had a 200kcal protein drink on my way here. Sweating bullets; definitely a migraine but I'm already here so might as well dip in and see how much I can handle.
 
Did 30 mins of kickboarding and 15 of aqua jogging.

Got groceries on my way home. Dinner is two rye bread sandwiches with marg and two slices of cheese each, pork, beans and corn with scallions, and a bowl of mango. EDIT and 1dl of hemp protein.

Tomorrow is gym day, session 3. Incline bench press, good mornings, and front squats. Already did bent over rows yesterday (misremembered my own program lol) and IDK, I just have a hunger for squats.

EDIT prepped my bedtime snack; one rye bread sandwich with two slices of cheese, 300g of quark yogurt, and 1dl (approx 50g) of dried, roasted edamame.
 
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Doing laundry. I´m going to hit the gym as soon as the machine´s done and I have hung the clean laundry and had lunch. I have DOMS today but nothing too bad.

Breakfast: 300g of yogurt, 50 g of dried roasted edamame. Put rice and quinoa to soak. I have steak in the fridge I bought some time ago to spoil myself, I think I´ll have it tonight.
 
Lunch: pork, sweet potato and black beans. Prepped two bowls of rice and kidney beans and three small bowls of quinoa, corn, chili oil and scallions. Now having a cup of coffee and then heading to the gym. Nice weather outside: 19 C. I´ll need to buy myself some sandals soon...
 
Had one 200 kcal protein drink before gym. Workout was good. Incline bench press 6x6 30 kg. Good mornings 6x6 50, 50, 50, 60, 60, 50 kg. Could probably have pushed the last set with 60 but not with flawless technique so I opted for 50 on the last set. Front squats went stronger than expected: 30, 35, 35, 35, 35, 30 kg. I´m pretty new to front squats and I greatly enjoy them, but towards the end things got pretty slippery from sunscreen and sweat. A T-shirt would probably be better than a tank top on front squat days.

Got home and had two rye bread sandwiches with fresh basil, marg and cheese, and a 300g tub of 3% yogurt.

I´m baking feta cheese and basil crusted chicken fillets which I plan to have chilled with fresh cherry tomatoes and a side carb. Of course the feta cheese is high in kcals, but I wanted a tasty treat that would also be satiating.
 
I was still peckish, so I had one of the feta-crusted chicken fillets for dessert as well as 200g of cherry tomatoes. Tastes amazing.

Reminder to self: I put retinol on my chest and stomach stretch marks, so if I get even more dysphoric about my chest than usual, it´s from the retinol drying out the skin. I need to remember to put some moisturizer on the jigglies before bedtime so I don´t wake up to them looking crinkly and crusty.
 
Snack: rice and kidney beans with scallions, basil, smoked cheese, smoked salt and roasted sesame oil.

EDIT and 50g of roasted edamame. I bought Netflix again and started to watch Fall of the House of Usher and I loooooove it.
 
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Had another bowl of rice, beans, scallions, basil, and smoked cheese. The series was way too good! I kept watching way past my bedtime. Not good for gains. And now I feel too riled up to fall asleep. This is why I've avoided streaming sites for the spring... Youtube never gets interesting enough to prevent me from sleeping
 
I ended up watching the series almost to the end before I finally got sleepy around 5AM. Had a protein bar. Just got up and finished the series. I really enjoyed it and I guess one night of bad sleep won´t annihilate my gains. I do have worse DOMS than usual today though.

Now having my morning coffee and trying to get started with my day. Today´s pool day. Weather outside is lovely
 
Breakfast is sweet potato, black beans, pork.

I need to buy myself some sandals because we have a heat wave coming and I only have closed toe shoes. Trying to decide between canvas Quiksilvers, plastic Billabongs and Havaianas. Canvas would probably not rub my skin off but the plastic ones have fun prints. On the other hand IDK how comfortable canvas flip flops would be if I got surprised by a rain shower. I´m thinking about going up a size from my usual 37/38.

There´s also a cool baseball cap that I really want. Baseball caps and sunglasses give me gender euphoria because I feel like I can´t really be seen that well so people can´t ogle me; and also they reduce my migraines, so it´s a win win.
 
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