Floater's diary

Did not go for a run. IDK what it is about that that freaks me out so much. I need to talk about it in therapy I guess but I´ll go tomorrow.

Bought flour and dry yeast and am making pita bread at home. So far so good, dough is rising. Fingers crossed! It´s been a long time since I last baked haha.
 
Bread turned out ugly but tasty! Will perfect this skill in the future. Store bought doesn't hold a candle to home-made
 
High anxiety day today, did foodprep but just too anxious to go out. Made a loaf of bread that´s chilling in the baking dish. I can´t wait to get to taste it.
 
I think I have a bug or something, because I´m just unusually tired. I´ve been resting and eating balanced meals so that´s something at least. I had two bananas on the verge of going bad so decided to attempt to make high protein banana bread with an improvised recipe. We´ll see how it turns out. TBH I do realize I´m probably avoiding something emotionally by baking, because baking requires so much attention to detail, but... Whatever. I could be doing so much worse stuff to distract myself, that´s for sure.
 
I was back at the gym yesterday and looks like I had needed the rest because I was closer to my normal level but not quite there yet. Very stressful things going on with disability benefits and doctors and stuff.

Managed to find a really nice baguette recipe though. It might just be in my head but it´s as if home made bread gave me less GI issues? Next time I´ll bake them at 225C instead of 200 but they turned out great.
 
Gym day today. I made a pre-ferment this morning, and used that for a cold batch fermentation dough that I plan to bake into bread tomorrow. I really want to perfect my home made bread and practice is the route to that!
 
JFC I ended up baking the prefermented dough tonight and I got the prettiest loaf, incredibly tasty, big big air bubbles inside. The taste is worlds apart when using preferment, the gross and shallow instant yeast taste is completely transformed. I could have baked it for 10 mins longer, it´s not raw but it´s softer than what the ideal outcome would be. The dough had 2 eggs in it to help bring the protein content up a bit. The flour I use has 13g of protein per 100g.

The preferment I made in the morning was "sponge". Tonight I got a "biga" preferment started and added a pinch of cinnamon to it too, not to make the bread taste cinnamon-y but to give the yeast something funky to eat to see what happens. Haha.
 
Took five days off gym because I was feeling unwell. Went to the gym today and did half a workout. Better than nothing. I baked bread with dried roasted edamame in the dough and it turned out great. The edamame also bumps up the protein content of the bread nicely.
 
All is well here, I´ve been going to the gym, but taking things veeery carefully, and it´s worked.

Been baking my own bread, it´s a very soothing hobby. I´m glad I have the functionality to cook from scratch again. It´s good for me mentally
 
Hey folks,

2025 has been treating me kindly. I was approved for permanent disability pension, which means I will never have to worry about my financial survival again. It´s not like I´ll ever be rich, but the pension even allows me to work for a limited amount if I ever find something sustainable.

This has helped me manage my stress much, much better. Diet and training are going stellarly. I did gain a bit during last year from stress eating but weight is on the decline again.

I started to take testosterone on 17.3.2025. I figured that by this point, and as a pensioner, my likelihood of receiving fertility treatments is slim anyway, so I might just as well focus on my own health and accept that I won´t have bio kids. I used a telehealth servie to do so because the Finnish trans clinic system keeps being a piece of shit. I do feel sad about childlessness, but testosterone is already having a hugely positive impact on my mood and sleep. I have zero nightmares, sleep like a log, and wake up around 7AM without an alarm clock. My appetite has changed: I´m less interested in the taste of things and more in the texture of things. Sweet foods have no appeal to me now. I also dislike coffee which I would never have believed was possible haha. Instead I really enjoy herbal teas, fenugreek being my favorite.

I guess that if the options are no kids and no HRT, vs no kids but HRT, I´ll take the latter. T also won´t immediately sterilize me so some Deus Ex Machina may still show up but perhaps it´s best to live in the moment and take the good things I can get and make my own happiness.

Got sick with the flu so I´ve only been to the gym twice after starting T but I did DL 105KG on my third day on T. Not explainable through physical changes yet, I think. More likely due to me feeling braver.

I hope everyone is progressing nicely and managing their lives. Be well, folks!
 
Everything´s going great here. Got over my flu quickly. I´ve added more cardio to my workout schedule to help with the body recomp. Today I had a fish burger after doing my lifting, and I guess it was OK, but fatty foods definitely don´t appeal to me the same way they used to.

While adjusting to testosterone, I have just listened to my body and stuck to what feels nice at the gym. I think I have my limits figured out now and would probably benefit from following a program for the next months. German Volume Training is familiar, and I know it to work, and I´m kinda intrigued to see how testosterone would factor into recovery, but on the other hand I would like to stick to gym and pool on alternate days and for that GVT is way too fatigue-inducing.

Strength increase is pretty subtle, but that makes perfect sense: testosterone replacement therapy for trans men is NOT the same as abusing steroids, and my dosage is only twice what´s given to postmenopausal women, to put it into context. I will get significant body recomp and fat redistribution, but it requires time and hard work and consistency. To save my hair and prevent an ass carpet I´m also on finasteride, so some effects of DHT are being lost due to it. Time will tell if I´ll keep my menstrual cycle or not, I hope to lose it but finasteride might keep it going. If so, I can always have a progesterone IUD inserted, but as the finasteride doesn´t seem to be causing any issues (of course I´ll know more once I get my control labs) I´ll stick to it for now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top