Fiera's Diary

Saturday 9:30A

Oooh, another solid sleep cycle from 4-8. Good!

Proggy will be here at 11 then we head down to an all day music fest. We are meeting his friends T&J who we met up with at the same fest last year. They want to go early and try to get seats, among the limited seating. I was dreading the blazing sun and can't be out in it (Proggy also). Now it is overcast with chance of T-storms. Whatever the day shapes up to be, I am sure it will be OK. My energy is restored sufficiently that I think it will be a fun time.

I'll walk the dogs around 10 and then get in the shower. Having my matcha now.

K the dog walker is coming over as we will be gone all day. I also need to get some breakfast in the dogs. I will crate NDog when we leave but told K she can leave him loose when she is done. He has been crated several times this week already and he has been a good boy when I have left for short periods.
 
Sunday

The music festival was fun. Dog walker came and took care of the pups. NDog did great, KDog didn't want to go out and instead went on the pee pads which is fine. NDog has earned his stripes as far as being left free in the house so now we will just practice crate training for his future adopter.

It rained hard while we were away, with tstorms, and then did it again in the middle of the night. Everything was dry in the basement when we got home, but overnight there was some water which got in to the laundry room, saturating the rug. Proggy helped me drape it over the sink so it could drain.

Proggy told me yesterday after he arrived that his need mission is to help me. He offered to paint or clean or whatever. He said you need help and you need to exercise. When we got home last night he went to work emptying and reloading the dishwasher, making space so I could deal with all the dog bowls and party bowls and the kitchen was clean when I sat down at 10PM. His help was awesome and I appreciated it.

I was a bit surprised and bothered that Proggy's friends we met with yesterday apparently think we are still a couple. It happened last year but at that time we were somewhat recently uncoupled and so I just said something afterward to him. I let it go again this time so as to not embarrass him or get into it while he was drinking, We will talk about it today. I know we are closer than just friends, but we are not a couple, and I don't know why he hasn't clarified things with them. T referred to Proggy as "your boyfriend". J commented "We are so glad he found you, he was so lonely." I am sure it has something to do with his male ego, his manliness, that he doesn't want people to know he is not in an intimate relationship. Well, it is just something for us to talk about, and I am grateful that I am in a calmer place now which will help me to be more sensitive to his feelings.

We missed the annual July 4 party with the M- family yesterday. It was the way the holiday fell and I hope it doesn't become a permanently conflicting event. The challenge is we have to buy tickets for the music festival a couple of months in advance, whereas they decide the day of their party a couple of weeks in advance. Now I will make a separate journey to go visit in the coming months. I have a lot of invitations lately, from DDogs adopters to other volunteers to go for walks or have a glass of wine/chat, etc. But the time is filled up with my Dad (next weekend) or with Proggy (weekend of 21st, going out of town) etc. I also am still stuck on planning my trip to Ireland. I need some time to clear headspace and I hope to get a bit of that next week. I have a dental cleaning on the 5, meds doc zoom and cleaning lady appt on 6th, sidewalk guy on 6 or 7th, But no dog rescue stuff. While Proggy is minded to be of help, I think I will try to get my grad school stuff out of the basement and see what else can go/be donated. It needs to GO. Maybe he can help paint also.
 
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Monday morning. Matcha.

We had torrential rains yesterday, and my house suffered. Handyman did not make it over to clean downspouts I had discovered the hard way were clogged. So two days in a row of water getting in to my wall. It was so bad it was coming in to the basement, and there also was seepage in the basement. Good thing Proggy helped me pull up rugs and dog beds and things. Many people reported seepage and flooding so it's not unique to me. But still, I really would rather not have to deal with this sort of thing, and the damage to the window and wall in the dining room are going to need some attention. That, and the big maple is going to have to come down soon before it ends up landing on my roof. Gosh, I wish good contractors were easier to find.

The concrete guy is scheduled to come Thursday or Friday. I keep hoping for Friday since Cleaning Lady is here Thurs plus I have a Zoom at 10:30 with the meds doc. My garage was only accessible by wading thru water, and still is 18 hours after the rain stopped. A record. By most estimates we had 6 or 7 inches.

Proggy is still sleeping. We had a talk yesterday about his friends, and a somewhat productive conversation about the nature of our relationship. I am so grateful for the maturity and life wisdom which allows me to approach these things in a way that just opens up a dialog instead of just assuming that how I see things is 'the truth'. I mean he and I both agree we are the nature of our relationship is not bf/gf, that we are just close friends, but he admitted he had a difficult time telling people about it because not everyone understands it and he doesn't know how to explain it in a way which will be understood and supported. He knows that S and J were told. He is pretty sure he told T at one point but they were out drinking. He doesn't think T would understand it, so there is the clarity. It's not that he doesn't want people to know...he just wants to be accepted and supported. I reminded him that he doesn't owe anyone an explanation or blow by blow description. Also, we both acknowledged that if either one of us starts dating it will ruin what we have, and neither of us is interested in doing that right now. It was a good talk. He knows he needs to move here where there is move of his scene happening, and he knows he needs to make some friends here. I talked about my own challenges not going hiking and camping etc, and said that it is KDog holding me back, not him. It was all easy and natural and unforced and isn't it just wonderful to have someone like that in your life.

Yesterday was primarily a sit around the house day. We went out to lunch and got Mexican Seafood take out for dinner since I did not feel like cooking. We dealt with the water coming in and I did laundry to dry out the towels. After the rain stopped and all of us had some dinner, we took the dogs for a walk. He could see how limiting KDog and NDog's conditions are and why it is so challenging to meet both their needs plus my own. Last night we watched tv; I had proposed a game a scrabble but he was not terribly interested. I had a vodka drink and some snack leftovers from the transport arrival.

I scheduled my next 5Day fast finally. Starting a week from today, after I get back from dad sitting next weekend.

The rain Sat and Sun kept neighborhood fireworks to a minimum. Some last night which were not very close by. Today being the 3rd I expect more, along with tomorrow. I have medication for KDog.

Today I would like to:
Go for a long walk in the forest preseve, taking the dog stroller, with Proggy's help
Go to REI for hiking shoes for Proggy
Put away laundry
Take out grad school junk
Take care of items which got wet in the basement when water came thru the wall
Get on the scale
Give away or donate items
Make a to do list/plan for the next couple of weeks
Dog bedding and recycling from transport
Email Vet about preventives

It feels good to have a break from transports for June. My time is opened up. Next weekend is Dad's (with dogs), weekend of 20th is winery fest (without dogs). NDog's former foster agree to watch him that weekend. I asked KDog's sitter yesterday and her dogs have been undergoing hookworm treatment, so we need to see if they are clear and make sure KDog's preventive will be sufficient.

Just added emailing vet to the list.
 
Well, we did take a short walk with the dogs in the woods, but the head and humidity kept it short. It was a good day though. Proggy and I went to REI and he picked out shoes, will wait for a sale. I found a pair of shorts and when I got to the register was delighted that I had enough points to cover the $89 price! Also, I decided to the their bike shop instead of trucking down to the one in RV to fix my rubbing tire. They determined it needed to be trued and took care of it for $20 member price and when I got the bike back it was *gleaming*. I was delighted.

I also was very pleasantly surprised to come home to an envelope in the mail with a settlement check from a class action. I usually don't bother, but I am glad I made the effort as I received $800 I wasn't expecting. What a great surprise!

I also received my quarterly promissory note payment from my former employer, so my bank account is boosted back up. I should have bought a lottery ticket heh.

Proggy and I had a nice lunch on a shaded patio not far from REI, a view that looked out on landscaping which reminded us of being at a winery. Which, we will be in a couple of weeks. I found a new Rental now that we are not bringing the dogs, and I upgraded to an extremely cute, new and clean little studio cabin with lots of windows and bright pine decor.

Made a large salad with some chicken for a healthy dinner, then ruined it with hummus and tortilla chips. Also had a vodka drink, which was really nice. It was a taste of vacation yesterday and I *liked* it! It seems like forever since I had that kind of leisurely fun energy day. Now to get ON the bike and use it.
 
Tuesday

Warm day. Proggy left around 11. I am pleased with the easy way we communicated while he was here. This morning I noticed a for rent / estate sale sign up the block at an apartment we had previously inquired about. The old man I think forgot about it until we stopped by. Already rented. Proggy was a bit disappointed as it is a really big unit and located right where he wants to be.

After he left, I got busy. Called the tree guy about the possible power issue to the garage. Emailed JI about her additional contribution for the transport. Texted Pixy and JgG just hello/catch-up. Texted the concrete guy about the plants and received reply. Texted and received reply from next door re concrete rationale. Texted Crazy T handyman about gutters. Replied to fence guy that yes I am still interested but still making decisions.

Washed curtain which got wet the other day, hung out back to dry. Ran dishwasher, backed up photos to current. Brainstormed a potential plan to take Proggy to Ireland when I got to visit Irish friend. Wish I was this productive all the time!
 
Wednesday

Yesterday was pretty good. Except the part where I ate an entire pizza for a 9PM snack. Productive otherwise, forward orientation.

This morning the anxiety is up, house related, pertaining to gutters and foundation again. Handyman has not responded to my text yesterday, maybe he was incapacitated or his phone was on the 4th.

We weathered the fireworks well with some Trazadone for KDog. Not ideal news this morning from the consulting vet about her potentially staying at her usual sitters after they had a hookworm outbreak. I don't have a plan B just yet.

Stupid anxiety. Maybe I'll have a 1/2 xanax for breakfast so I don't get paralyzed.

I reread the intro to Daring Greatly last night. Proggy and I plan to work our way through it the way that Saylor and I did with TNMAG. I then made a table of Cultivate/Let Go points. Then I made a list of the sources of shame or vulnerability aversion in my life. It is significantly long. Weight/fitness/clothes is on it. I am not going to ruminate on it here, I will probably share it with my therapist and maybe Proggy in our discussions. I cannot address everything at once, either, there needs to be a process and priority.

Time to go get that Xanax. I have a dental cleaning this morning and then errands to run on the way home. I need to stop at grocery and get more turkey for KDog's meals.

...

OK coming back an unproductive hour later. Looked for bnb alternatives with dog and they are either too far away or very costly. Will come back to it. There is one near where L and I used to own a place, but it is nearly 30 mins from where we want to be and is non refundable. Will need to come back to it.

KDog and NDog both have not been eating reliably. KDog has been tummy sick the past couple of mornings, bile. Spent extra time trying to get KDog to eat. Athey are both tired of their food and want to see what is in each others' bowls all the time.

Trying to not lose a day of productivity here. Never got around to paying bills last night so that is the first order of business. Need to get to bank later for cash and to deposit some checks.

Tummy says I am "hungry", rumbling a bit, impossible with having had a massive amount of evening food last night. It is only 8AM. I woke up at 4-something. It is hot and will mostly spend the day inside. Let me not waste it.
 
Thursday

Cleaning lady day. Having matcha and then will get on with picking up the place.
Yesterday was super busy. Still trying to get someone out to clean my gutters. Concrete was pushed to Monday.

My brothers dog passed away in his arms on the way to the vet. The pup, C, was old, and essentially blind and deaf. Probably a stroke. C had lots of love and attention and he went in a beautiful way. Obviously it is hard on my brother.

Last night the sitter let me know one of her dogs passed yesterday too. And Tina dropped off some donations from her pup who recently passed. This pup was incredibly spoiled. We will offer the supplies to the foster families. So weird of an alignment between all this.

Meantime, I woke up to dried BigD on the hardwoods in the front. KDog was starving yesterday and I should not have caved and given her so much to eat. She has to have small spaced meals while her system comes back online. She also had to go out immediately this morning, We go to my Dad's tomorrow so I really hope she starts feeling better tonight.
 
Whelp. It is 6:36PM and I am starting to lose faith that the gutter company is going to make it today. Inhale. Exhale. One way or another it will get done.

Went to the bank and pharmacy, picked up sympathy cards to mail, got cash and propane. I investigated renewing my mobile discount from current carrier and got irritated at their process requiring 3rd party validation. Signal quality has gone down anyway so thinking about switching after 20-plus years, Investigated newco discounts and waiting to hear back. A lower monthly bill would get my attention.

Had meds doc this morning and the verdict was to restart a low dose of my former med. May help me quit smoking and reduce eating too.

Due to KDog's colitis I am heading to my Dad's on Sat rather than Friday night, The problem of course is that if I am sleeping there is a chance she could have an accident in his house onthe carpet. The prospect of not going out there til Sat AM put some wind in my sails. I need decompressing time by myself in my home. I am enjoying catching up things like mail, bills, bank accounts. and backing up photos.
 
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Friday

Woke at 4-something (again) but was able to get another full sleep cycle. So my day is off to a later start, but a good one. The gutter crew supposed to come yesterday never made it, but they have promised to come today. The prospect of coming to my Dad's on Sat AM instead of Friday night frees up space and energy.

KDog is doing better, no more BigD. I took her out solo this morning and stayed near the house, forgetting I keep the bags attached to NDog's leash. She went at the vacant construction house. I had to run back over with a bag after I brought her in the house. A woman out walking her dog called out to me from across the street, "Can I ask you a question? Did you just return to the scene of the crime?" "You just made my day." Apparently she saw the entire thing, and I understand how she feels. A dog owners who don't pick up are uncommon but they ruin it for everyone. She voiced that she picks up for other people just to keep the neighborhood nice.

Reminds me to mention that I took a trash bag over and picked up the construction site a couple of days ago. Someone has taken to chucking their beverage bottles and potato chip bags out of the car instead of using the trash cans 50 feet away. I have an idea who it is, newer renters, as I saw the 8ish yo son chuck trash out the window one day when his mom left the kids in the car in the alley and ran inside for something. Probably learned it from a parent. Where they are doing it is out of sightlines from my house and the nonprofit and other residences. But it is there for everyone to see as we walk past. A couple of beer bottles were also left against a tree trunk. That simply isn't done around here, and I hope we can get this ridiculous behavior to stop.

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Had CB just now. She asked me what I thought my blind spots are. Well I know blinds spots are blind spots, but I said that the intro to Daring Greatly made me realize that I had shame I never really recognized before. From the intro of daring greatly and the list of shame moments/topics which had come to mind, is a homework assignment to do a lot of writng and identify the shame in each one. "I am ________" Incompetent, fearful, clumsy, unloveable. Doing this exercise is like voluntarily entering the gravitational field of a black hole. I am not sure I am ready. But I know that getting caught up on the rest of my life gives me a bit of bandwidth to work on it. It should ultimately be liberating. But my plate for the next few days is pretty full so perhaps next week.
 
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Well, after inspecting KDog's toes this morning I discovered that what I thought was a superficial scrape was actually a nasty oozing wound that I could not see well enough on my own. So, off to the vet. Not our usual doc but I was pleased enough with her. Ended up being sutures as the skin glue would not work and it is in a difficult to heal spot. And antibiotics.

Afterward I fueled up my car for the drive to my Dad's tomorrow then dropped the cards off at the post office. Got home, fed and medicated KDog, and then she stole NDog's dinner while I was taking him out, Darn it. I am trying to keep her on a strict diet and will just have to see whether that food plus the vet visit cause her blowout to reoccur.

When I arrived back at the house the gutter guys were here. He said I need to have them cleaned every spring/fall and he said the debris filter on the N downspout is partly responsible. They seem fairly sure it is a cleaning issue and not a capacity issue. Even though the white pine is now gone, most of the debris was baby helicopters from the maple, which also needs to come down soon. So the small silver lining in losing the trees is avoiding all the damage and work they can cause.

I ordered sushi/thai delivered, which is expensive these days but it was just super helpful. I was tired. Dad wants me to make tuna salad when I get there in the morning. I am going to have to carry KDog up and down the stairs at my place to protect her foot / stitches. Otherwise I will have to stay at my Dad's or Proggy's for a bit but I also have the sidewalk guy coming on Monday. Feeling a bit drained atm. Also, forgot to take my med today until it was so late it would keep me up at night.

Dishwasher is going. Made enough turkey to get KDog through several days. My strategy is to pack just what I need for a day at my Dad's, with maybe an extra change of clothes and dog food.

I had an aversion to contacting the sitter but I bucked up and did it. I am getting better at recognizing that feeling of avoidance and taking action rather that let it simmer. I told her KDog will have a recheck on Tuesday and also that we should talk about the hooks in the yard when it is convenient for her.

If I have time I will go over some important documents with my Dad while I am there. Goal is to pull those these evening after I tackle catching up with my cashflow banking transactions. Am tired so not expecting to get 100% done.

Weight today 183.5. My immediate goal is to reverse the gaining trend and get back under 180.
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Well, that was productive. I tackled my rather sizable stack of dad paperwork. I found that I had done a good job of organizing back in 2021 and just needed to pull out a few outdated or unsigned copies of things I have since received replacements for. I also was able to comfirm that some information for tax basis is correctly contained in the online investment accounts and therefore moved a four inch stack of paper statements spanning 20 years into the shredding pile. Helps a great deal! Tomorrow afternoon if he is up to it I am going to make sure I have his current logins/passwords and also go over some family tree things. Also introduce the ideas of a dog walker and an in home care assistant I spoke with a couple months back.

I now get to work on my cash accounts and take NDog out before bedtime. KDog has not gone out since 2P and hasn't made #2 since yesterday; but she doesn't want to get up/go out. Presumably she will head into the front at some point overnight while I am sleeping and use the pads, which will be easier for her...and maybe me too, since her foot is all bandaged up. Her weight today was 76 and the best I can do is hold her up by her harness to help reduce weight and stabilize. It is easier going up than down. If I didn't have the concrete guy coming Monday I would just stay at my Dad's for a couple of days and then Proggy's. Having NDog to tend to also adds to the work involved in all this. At least my calendar for next week looks fairly light otherwise. So *glad* there is no transport scheduled for July.
 
Monday

So tired. My mind overnight at my Dad's was full of logistics challenges and anxiety about the concrete project today. My dad is also talking loudly in his sleep a lot more than he used to, we think it may be a new medication. I didn't get a lick of decent sleep, and so popped out of bed at 6, was on the road by 7, encountered surprisingly little traffic on the way home. I didn't know how I would manage to get KDog in the house but she was very happy to be home and got herself up the front stairs on her own. The concrete guy had told me it was fine to get home by 10:30, but glad I was home early because he called before 9 and said that they were on the way over. On the down side they are not planning to pour until tomorrow now.

I took the big bandage off KDogs foot and while it was wet with exudate, I don't think there is an infection. Now leaving it uncovered until I have to at some point take her out. I will probably walk NDog alone first in the hopes that KDog will use the potty pads and not actually need to go down the stairs. Fewer trips means less chance of injury/re injury right now.

Am bleary eyed and drinking extra coffee, but honestly will lay down for a nap as soon as these guys are done for the day. Spent time last night drawing up ideas for a dog ramp/back patio area. This morning went on social asking some of the other owners for their ideas. Need to decide whether I want something temporary or just incorporate into a back porch rebuild.

I probably won't get much else done today. But that is Ok.
 
Thank you Cate! Getting there!

Things are going more smoothly. The sidewalk guys were here yesterday for demolition/set up and this morning at 6 they started pouring. They are putting the finishing touches on now while it sets up. It sure does feel a whole lot better having something fixed and looking nicer and more functional. The price tag though...I would probably feel a bit more secure if I could land some part time work...it hardly pays for itself though by the time taxes are taken out.

Yesterday I felt that avoidance kick in when KDogs sitter rang me around 3. I was so tired too, I just didn't know how to muster the right frame of mind to talk to someone who is going through cancer treatment plus just lost a dog, plus talk about my own dog-related needs. But I just did it, and she made it pretty easy. She is a good conversationalist and presents things openly and fact based. Lucky me. Anyway, while she would do it, we are all concerned that stairs are getting harder for KDog and she gave me two other sitters she collaborates with, both who live in ranch style homes with no stairs. She had already checked dates with for the weekend Proggy and I want to go out of town. So that is it then, KDog is going to have to get used to a new sitter, and DC made it easy for me to find a suitable one.

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The concrete is done and the ramp they made seems to be sufficient to allow me and KDog (and NDog) the ability to get in and out. She is moving around a bit better today, so perhaps whatever flare up she had is doing better. Certainly getting the big bandage off helped. I think her foot is healing and I am inclined to skip the vet visit and avoid the risk of injury in the transit process.

Its going to be a hot and sunny day but then cooler the rest of the week. Might be good baseball weather. I have to get out of the house today, I was definitely in stay-in since Friday, (dad visit, KDog, hot weather). Will sit down with the to do list. Maybe nap a little. Things are looking up.
 
Ha ha ha [expletive] Universe. Pop up tstorms downpouring for an hour on my newly laid concrete. The mailman decided to step on it in spite of the cones just for good measure. I have had the urge to all day to have a drink which I rechannelled into a faux rita and overeating. It comes in part from feeling tired. Napped briefly but KDog decided she needed "something". Anyway, I'm fine, I just needed to vent. I will pull myself out of the nosedive and do something more constructive.
 
Wednesday

Sleep was somewhat restorative. Still a ways to go to recover from everything and nothing. Eating was insane yesterday. Anything easy and cheesy. Very mentally far away from doing the 5 day fmd. But stress and severe fatigue are pretty hard. So today I need little goals. Shower, grocery, dog food, dishwasher. And dog walks of course, Taking the dogs one at a time 4-5 times a day is too much and so gratefully KDog is cooperating with the pads. I would like to get her out of the house today tho.

The concrete guy says the rain was ok since the concrete had enough time to set up before the rain started. Seems ok to me as well. What is not ok is the neighbors gutter pouring over. I have to ask him to check it. Or rather ask his wife to ask him. This triggers anxiety. He hates me. Or rather despises me. Something along those lines. No CB this week, I could use a talk through that.

Somewhere in the bustle I have managed to misplace the key ring which has the back gate and my bike lock keys on it. I left my main key ring on the patio table overnight and it was there in the morning but the spare keys were not with it. Hopefully in my car or the garage as I have taken a look around the house and in the grass outside. I loathe having to spend time looking for misplaced things, and I do it more and more often lately. I hope it is a sign of distraction and anxiety rather than an aging brain. Either way, it is decidedly inconvenient.

Just flipped on coverage of the flooding in Vermont's capitol, Montpelier. Sobering sanity check on how easy I have it today. I know that when life deals you disasters or stress or whatever that you either have to just keep going, until you can't. Surely it is better to be fit and healthy heading into whatever situation life is about to hand you.

I moved this front and center somewhat in 2018 as I prepared to turn in my retirement notice and hit a milestone birthday. I signed up for my goal marathon and made training the immovable priority in my life. I started dating again but only in the in between spaces. But I was struggling and suffering with depression and crushing shame the rest of that year. Then my dad's medical issues, the pandemic, S's accident, the hacker, and the knowledge that I was probably not in the right relationship all arrived within a couple of months. When KDog's mobility declined, I stopped taking long walks for exercise, or fishing, or biking etc. I should have all the ingredients for a happy and fulfilling retirement and it is clearly a mental game, combined with a lack of a family/social circle. Why I am relating all this again to myself, I wonder. Maybe I just needed to look at the arc of how I got to this place, remind myself that I did have a plan for a healthy, active retirement, and I am letting it slip away while I tend to my Dad or KDog or Proggy or NDog or the transports.

Well. Outside of getting on some illicit energy drug, I guess I have to power on somehow today with coffee. Happy that KDog took a nice walk in the cooler morning weather. NDog misses his yard (off limits while the concrete is curing).

That's all I've got.
 
"The 24-hour rule states that you turn the page every day. No matter what. You can celebrate or cry, but tomorrow you turn the page. Tomorrow is a new day.

Those anchored to the past are incapable of seeing the future.

Learn from the past but don’t hang on to it."

From a blog I follow. It's a good one.
 
It has been a damp, rainy day. I had a shower and went to the pet store for KDog food and to the bigger grocery for a few other things. Amish chicken breasts were on sale so bought 3 packs of those. Turkey for KDog, and some mango salsa jumped in the cart for me. Anything veggie based is a winner right now.

My listlessness manifested in a desire to watch Casablanca. I think however a source of the mood was the lost keys. (along with still being tired, weather, etc.) I had looked in the obvious spots yesterday, the coffee table, the chairs and couch innthe den, countertops, imside the front door. Today I checked the yard, the garage, the car, the shoes underneath the back door key hook. I finally put on rubber gloves and went through the full and stinky kitchen garbage. No luck. I started up a detailed systematic search of the den. Finally. They WERE in the car Monday afternoon after I locked the gate and moved the car out of the garage as the guys were leaving for the day. When I got out of the car and went back inside, I had grabbed a sling bag of documents leftover from my dads and shoved the keys and my sunglasses case in there to consolidate. Why oh why do I do these things in a distracted hurry and cost myself so much time? Is it stress? Multitasking? Well I certainly was fatigued.

In any event I had the movie playing but wasn't watching, so I will put it on again in just a few. It was a movie I shared with Jason, but 10 years on, I only give him a passing thought. A year or two ago I might have dropped him a text. But there seems no point any more. It seems all I can do to keep up with the day to day. And to think my life was once so full of excitement and intrigue lol. Well that was the thing about being fueled by vodka, it really helped to not feel so dang tired.

Now my life is full of dogs, dog food, dog poop and pee, conversations about dog behavior, taking short dog walks, and staying home with the dogs, Woof.
 
:grouphug: I'm exhausted just reading about your current life! Woof. :smilielol5:
 
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