Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Hope you had a nice St Patrick's day! Nice to hear about all the tennis you'll be getting in. And it sounds like you've reached a new level with it with your mindset which must feel really good.
Good luck with the drama club situation--yes very good to get those things sorted even if it can feel a little uncomfortable.
Good luck with the drama club situation--yes very good to get those things sorted even if it can feel a little uncomfortable.
- Thanks Cate. No further message received about that drama. I would prefer not to have to deal with it at all, haha.
- Patrick's Day was really quiet for me, Liza - no drinking! I did go out the following evening though and drank quite a lot! Eek!
Things have kind of gone a bit manic again. I lost a tennis match this evening and I took it really badly. Not externally, thank goodness, but inside I just felt so fed up. I just want to be good! I want to win! Why is it so hard? Haha, I know how ridiculous it is, but I just felt tonight that I have gone two steps backwards, and it's very, very frustrating. Anyway, I have another match tomorrow so I don't have too much time to feel sorry for myself. I talked to my parents for nearly an hour tonight afterwards which cheered me up bigtime. I have also convinced my dad to take a major step towards improving his health, which was actually a major win for the evening. He just kind of puts things off until they reach an emergency stage but I have managed to get him to go to an appointment with me on Friday, which is great. So that was probably a more important win than the tennis match would have been.
I'm thinking of making a major purchase tomorrow - a bit nervous about it, but I'm going to see how it goes. Things have kind of got so complicated in my life in some ways that I can't really be open in my diary anymore, which is a bit sad. Let's just say that I am playing with fire a bit, or I've lost my mind, or a bit of both. If I put down the whole drama now, it would just be too insane for anyone to truly understand. I'll probably write a song or a short story about it at some point. I was able to catch up with two of my very good friends at the weekend and regale them with the whole saga. It was interesting to see their reactions. Ultimately, it comes down to me being a complete idiot that just thrives on drama and excitement.
I just think I need life to be interesting and exciting and I've found someone that fits the bill. I called him yesterday about something and I was so nervous and excited and my heart was going 90 miles an hour and he sounded similarly jumped up for whatever reason, and the whole thing is a fucking disaster. I'm meeting him tomorrow - simultaneously excited and nervous and scared. I'm in a real mess. I guess I just really want my life to change but I'm going about it the wrong way. Sigh. Anyway. Let's see what tomorrow brings. The week has been really surprising so far...
- Patrick's Day was really quiet for me, Liza - no drinking! I did go out the following evening though and drank quite a lot! Eek!
Things have kind of gone a bit manic again. I lost a tennis match this evening and I took it really badly. Not externally, thank goodness, but inside I just felt so fed up. I just want to be good! I want to win! Why is it so hard? Haha, I know how ridiculous it is, but I just felt tonight that I have gone two steps backwards, and it's very, very frustrating. Anyway, I have another match tomorrow so I don't have too much time to feel sorry for myself. I talked to my parents for nearly an hour tonight afterwards which cheered me up bigtime. I have also convinced my dad to take a major step towards improving his health, which was actually a major win for the evening. He just kind of puts things off until they reach an emergency stage but I have managed to get him to go to an appointment with me on Friday, which is great. So that was probably a more important win than the tennis match would have been.
I'm thinking of making a major purchase tomorrow - a bit nervous about it, but I'm going to see how it goes. Things have kind of got so complicated in my life in some ways that I can't really be open in my diary anymore, which is a bit sad. Let's just say that I am playing with fire a bit, or I've lost my mind, or a bit of both. If I put down the whole drama now, it would just be too insane for anyone to truly understand. I'll probably write a song or a short story about it at some point. I was able to catch up with two of my very good friends at the weekend and regale them with the whole saga. It was interesting to see their reactions. Ultimately, it comes down to me being a complete idiot that just thrives on drama and excitement.
I just think I need life to be interesting and exciting and I've found someone that fits the bill. I called him yesterday about something and I was so nervous and excited and my heart was going 90 miles an hour and he sounded similarly jumped up for whatever reason, and the whole thing is a fucking disaster. I'm meeting him tomorrow - simultaneously excited and nervous and scared. I'm in a real mess. I guess I just really want my life to change but I'm going about it the wrong way. Sigh. Anyway. Let's see what tomorrow brings. The week has been really surprising so far...
- Hi Cate. Thanks for that. I kind of know the drill so I don't think I'll be too hurt. I'm used to things not working out!
- Thanks Liza. x
It's been a bananas week. Absolutely mad from Monday morning until the quiet time I am finally getting to experience tonight. I am so, so tired. Had to go for a nap the minute I got home from work but didn't sleep long enough unfortunately. I really feel like change is in the air for me. After a long, long period of stagnancy (made longer because of the C word), life is finally starting to take shape again. And I couldn't be happier about that.
I met The Man and I couldn't have been happier for the half an hour I was in his company. He told me this beautiful (but tragic) story about a castle in the local area and I was just... ugh. It's a mess.
Besides that, it's been a fantastic week. I won my tennis match last night and got some really lovely messages from some of the tennis gang. I have made a lot of new friends there, it's great. One girl I played with on Wednesday just texted me 10 minutes ago to ask how I got on, which is so lovely.
Really feeling the love at the moment. It's also such a different feeling from when you win a match to when you lose a match. Everything is right with the world when you win, for one evening at least! Lol.
I have a meeting tomorrow that I really feel like cancelling but I kind of just have to go ahead and face the music on that one. Dreading the comments. About The Man. But interested as well. Although, at the end of the day, people don't really care all too much. Anyway. There's nothing going on so I don't have to worry really.
Not much else to say. Will prob just watch a bit of Netflix tonight. Not much is appealing to me right now, but let's try to switch this brain off! Still sleeping very poorly. Woke up a number of times last night, which is really annoying.
- Thanks Liza. x
It's been a bananas week. Absolutely mad from Monday morning until the quiet time I am finally getting to experience tonight. I am so, so tired. Had to go for a nap the minute I got home from work but didn't sleep long enough unfortunately. I really feel like change is in the air for me. After a long, long period of stagnancy (made longer because of the C word), life is finally starting to take shape again. And I couldn't be happier about that.
I met The Man and I couldn't have been happier for the half an hour I was in his company. He told me this beautiful (but tragic) story about a castle in the local area and I was just... ugh. It's a mess.
Besides that, it's been a fantastic week. I won my tennis match last night and got some really lovely messages from some of the tennis gang. I have made a lot of new friends there, it's great. One girl I played with on Wednesday just texted me 10 minutes ago to ask how I got on, which is so lovely.
Really feeling the love at the moment. It's also such a different feeling from when you win a match to when you lose a match. Everything is right with the world when you win, for one evening at least! Lol.I have a meeting tomorrow that I really feel like cancelling but I kind of just have to go ahead and face the music on that one. Dreading the comments. About The Man. But interested as well. Although, at the end of the day, people don't really care all too much. Anyway. There's nothing going on so I don't have to worry really.
Not much else to say. Will prob just watch a bit of Netflix tonight. Not much is appealing to me right now, but let's try to switch this brain off! Still sleeping very poorly. Woke up a number of times last night, which is really annoying.
Thanks Liza. The meeting was very enjoyable actually.
Thanks Cate. If you mean meeting up with The Man, yeah, but that wasn't quite what you think. It's fine, we're friends. Just a moment of madness really.
What was not so enjoyable was a call I had tonight with someone who gave me their perception of stuff that they weren't really involved with until the end and basically kind of attacked me and threw a few accusations around that were not based on any reality that I was aware of. I called two people that were involved afterwards and they reassured me that I haven't been living on another planet and that they didn't agree with him. It was really upsetting, to be honest. I just really felt like he could have kept those thoughts to himself because they have done nothing except upset me and create drama where none existed. Like, he was saying that I really upset The Man with one of my comments, and I was like, 'No, I didn't.' He is 100% not upset with me, he told me he thinks I'm amazing, for God's sake.
Anyway, what a disaster. But I've kind of talked it out of my system now. I had big plans to go to spin in the morning but I also have a tennis game in the evening, so I'm thinking that one thing might be enough. Still contemplating giving up smoking. In fun news, I am buying a new car this week, and giving up the smokes would more or less cover the money I will be paying monthly for the car. So, I really have a great opportunity and reason to give them up. It's just the thought of getting through the day without nicotine seems impossible. Which is so sad. They are making me very dehydrated and tired and I'm really getting sick of and from them.
Does anyone have any good ideas about what I could replace them with? Something I can do or ingest every 2 hours or so. It's just hard because they kind of act as a milestone and reward, even though the concept of rewarding yourself by blackening your lungs is laughable really. I guess it's the nicotine I'm after. Or the deep breathing. Or just getting away from people and my desk for 5 minutes to ruminate in my own thoughts. Sigh.
Thanks Cate. If you mean meeting up with The Man, yeah, but that wasn't quite what you think. It's fine, we're friends. Just a moment of madness really.
What was not so enjoyable was a call I had tonight with someone who gave me their perception of stuff that they weren't really involved with until the end and basically kind of attacked me and threw a few accusations around that were not based on any reality that I was aware of. I called two people that were involved afterwards and they reassured me that I haven't been living on another planet and that they didn't agree with him. It was really upsetting, to be honest. I just really felt like he could have kept those thoughts to himself because they have done nothing except upset me and create drama where none existed. Like, he was saying that I really upset The Man with one of my comments, and I was like, 'No, I didn't.' He is 100% not upset with me, he told me he thinks I'm amazing, for God's sake.
Anyway, what a disaster. But I've kind of talked it out of my system now. I had big plans to go to spin in the morning but I also have a tennis game in the evening, so I'm thinking that one thing might be enough. Still contemplating giving up smoking. In fun news, I am buying a new car this week, and giving up the smokes would more or less cover the money I will be paying monthly for the car. So, I really have a great opportunity and reason to give them up. It's just the thought of getting through the day without nicotine seems impossible. Which is so sad. They are making me very dehydrated and tired and I'm really getting sick of and from them.
Does anyone have any good ideas about what I could replace them with? Something I can do or ingest every 2 hours or so. It's just hard because they kind of act as a milestone and reward, even though the concept of rewarding yourself by blackening your lungs is laughable really. I guess it's the nicotine I'm after. Or the deep breathing. Or just getting away from people and my desk for 5 minutes to ruminate in my own thoughts. Sigh.
Cate
Long term member
No, I had thought that someone was having a dig at you & it seems they were. Possible jealousy? People like that are not worth worrying about.
I hope you have a great tennis match & play well & have fun.
Re: nicotine & finding a replacement. Chewing sugarless gum is a distraction & is good for a dry mouth. My dentist says I should be using it every day. You can do it, Em. Once you decide I'm sure you can.
Yay for a new car!
I hope you have a great tennis match & play well & have fun.
Re: nicotine & finding a replacement. Chewing sugarless gum is a distraction & is good for a dry mouth. My dentist says I should be using it every day. You can do it, Em. Once you decide I'm sure you can.
Yay for a new car!
Yay!
As you know, I can understand this whole struggle. I really get the getting away from your desk for the smoke break. I always think it's funny that smokers have this opportunity but not the non-smokers. I often found it a nice way to just take a step outside and get some space from stressful work stuff. Maybe you can step outside for pretend smoke breaks? Just take that time to get up, walk away, go outside and breathe...
I never found anything to ingest that helped, it was more just breaking those habitual patterns and eventually it stuck for me...
Best of luck with it! It is really so terribly expensive--I am so glad to not smoke anymore even just for that piece alone.
- Hi Cate. You know, I've had a think about it, and I think there's an undercurrent of misogyny there. I can't imagine him making the same phone call to a man, I really can't.
- Yeah, that could be the ticket, Liza! It is just habit, you're right. And yes, the expense is ridiculous.
Well. I haven't weighed in for a couple of weeks but I said I'd have a little check-in today and I was 193.6 pounds today! You have no idea how exciting it is to be closer to 190 than 200 after struggling for such a long time! I highly recommend stress and heartbreak as the best diet on the planet!!
Nah, not really, but my appetite has definitely been suppressed in the last couple of months. Even though it's not a massive or quick drop, I am definitely doing better in terms of not buying as many bars of chocolate or things like that. There has been a bit of a mental shift. Long may it last.
I also had a pretty good eating day. Had branflakes and milk for breakfast with some orange juice. Lunch was tuna salad with a cup of coffee and 2 rich tea biscuits afterwards. Dinner was a prawn and chicken thai curry with mixed veg, brown basmati rice and miso paste. Really, really tasty and I really enjoyed the whole cooking process. No one was in the house though, so that made a difference, and I could have my tunes on and clean up the kitchen without anyone bothering me. I would really prefer to be living alone or with a loved one at this stage. Still, the girls are actually nice and we all kind of keep to ourselves, which is great, haha. I am helping one of them out on Thursday evening though, which is important too.
Tennis life is going great. Work life is going great also. I got asked to play tennis tomorrow with a fairly good duo in my grade, which is a great compliment. They're really nice people also and they are playing a semifinal this week so they want a bit of practice. I'm finally good enough to practice against! Hahaha. Even though I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster recently, the tennis is a constant source of solace and I really appreciate that.
Work is also going great, we're all having a lovely time in the office. I'm struggling to concentrate bigtime but I managed to get a big project done today and it's turned out really nice, so I'm happy with that. I do need to pick up the pace a bit, but I guess there's just been a lot going on. I did work at probably 90% capacity for 5 years though, so I'm happy to slow down a bit for the moment. I just don't have it in me right now.
- Yeah, that could be the ticket, Liza! It is just habit, you're right. And yes, the expense is ridiculous.
Well. I haven't weighed in for a couple of weeks but I said I'd have a little check-in today and I was 193.6 pounds today! You have no idea how exciting it is to be closer to 190 than 200 after struggling for such a long time! I highly recommend stress and heartbreak as the best diet on the planet!!
Nah, not really, but my appetite has definitely been suppressed in the last couple of months. Even though it's not a massive or quick drop, I am definitely doing better in terms of not buying as many bars of chocolate or things like that. There has been a bit of a mental shift. Long may it last. I also had a pretty good eating day. Had branflakes and milk for breakfast with some orange juice. Lunch was tuna salad with a cup of coffee and 2 rich tea biscuits afterwards. Dinner was a prawn and chicken thai curry with mixed veg, brown basmati rice and miso paste. Really, really tasty and I really enjoyed the whole cooking process. No one was in the house though, so that made a difference, and I could have my tunes on and clean up the kitchen without anyone bothering me. I would really prefer to be living alone or with a loved one at this stage. Still, the girls are actually nice and we all kind of keep to ourselves, which is great, haha. I am helping one of them out on Thursday evening though, which is important too.
Tennis life is going great. Work life is going great also. I got asked to play tennis tomorrow with a fairly good duo in my grade, which is a great compliment. They're really nice people also and they are playing a semifinal this week so they want a bit of practice. I'm finally good enough to practice against! Hahaha. Even though I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster recently, the tennis is a constant source of solace and I really appreciate that.
Work is also going great, we're all having a lovely time in the office. I'm struggling to concentrate bigtime but I managed to get a big project done today and it's turned out really nice, so I'm happy with that. I do need to pick up the pace a bit, but I guess there's just been a lot going on. I did work at probably 90% capacity for 5 years though, so I'm happy to slow down a bit for the moment. I just don't have it in me right now.
Cate
Long term member
It sounds like it.
Life sounds good overall, Em. It is a compliment to be asked to play in practice matches against good players. I can imagine you finding someone through tennis.
What a great post--so much positive stuff going on--really nice to hear.
So great that tennis has remained a constant source of solace. Such a great find to have something that is both challenging and joyful...and has brought you many good connections.
And congrats on the scale moving more toward the 190 mark!
So great that tennis has remained a constant source of solace. Such a great find to have something that is both challenging and joyful...and has brought you many good connections.
And congrats on the scale moving more toward the 190 mark!
- Thanks Cate. Not so sure about that. Not a lot of single men on the scene. I guess you never know.
- Thanks Liza. Yes, it is the silver lining out of Covid for me, 100%.
Today was a good day, even though I was kind of tense and nervous all day in work. I just felt out of sorts completely, but I managed to get through it and get some work done. I have a lot of focus-heavy tasks on the agenda this week, which is a little bit tricky, but I'm getting through them.
I had a lovely conversation with one of the tennis ladies today. We were meant to play this evening but it started lashing rain about half an hour before we were due to play. Ah well. She's really nice. We're having a team night out the second week of May in a really cool new restaurant in town which I must actually google now, because I never heard of it before tonight. I think it's upstairs in an art gallery and it's only open on weekends so it sounds super chic! Hahaha.
I also spent roughly an hour with one of my favourite people in the world this evening. God, I am just crazy about him. Crazy. I keep waiting for him to do or say something that I really despise and it just doesn't seem to be happening this time. Which is a disaster. He just has such a lovely temperament and kind, romantic eyes. We were by ourselves for a little while today and the whole time we were both babbling away and there was just so much to say and it was all so interesting and I don't think this is all one-sided like it might have been in the past. Like, I've been around for a while now, I've met loads and loads of lovely men, really nice men. I generally get on well with men. But if I think back over all the guys I've hung around with over the last 20 years, this one feels different.
Je ne regrette rien and I'm really happy to know him. But, if I'm being honest, this is probably the biggest tragedy of my life so far. And yes, someone else could come along that will sweep me off my feet very soon - and maybe I've got it wrong with the above man, I don't know. But I don't think I have. I am heartbroken about it really. But what can you do? That's life. Let's get some Hozier on to soothe our souls.
- Thanks Liza. Yes, it is the silver lining out of Covid for me, 100%.
Today was a good day, even though I was kind of tense and nervous all day in work. I just felt out of sorts completely, but I managed to get through it and get some work done. I have a lot of focus-heavy tasks on the agenda this week, which is a little bit tricky, but I'm getting through them.
I had a lovely conversation with one of the tennis ladies today. We were meant to play this evening but it started lashing rain about half an hour before we were due to play. Ah well. She's really nice. We're having a team night out the second week of May in a really cool new restaurant in town which I must actually google now, because I never heard of it before tonight. I think it's upstairs in an art gallery and it's only open on weekends so it sounds super chic! Hahaha.
I also spent roughly an hour with one of my favourite people in the world this evening. God, I am just crazy about him. Crazy. I keep waiting for him to do or say something that I really despise and it just doesn't seem to be happening this time. Which is a disaster. He just has such a lovely temperament and kind, romantic eyes. We were by ourselves for a little while today and the whole time we were both babbling away and there was just so much to say and it was all so interesting and I don't think this is all one-sided like it might have been in the past. Like, I've been around for a while now, I've met loads and loads of lovely men, really nice men. I generally get on well with men. But if I think back over all the guys I've hung around with over the last 20 years, this one feels different.
Je ne regrette rien and I'm really happy to know him. But, if I'm being honest, this is probably the biggest tragedy of my life so far. And yes, someone else could come along that will sweep me off my feet very soon - and maybe I've got it wrong with the above man, I don't know. But I don't think I have. I am heartbroken about it really. But what can you do? That's life. Let's get some Hozier on to soothe our souls.
Is he not available? That must be hard to find someone you connect with but it can't go anywhere...
- Hi Cate. Yes, I like Foy Vance. I like the song 'At Least My Heart Was Open.'
- Hi Liza. He couldn't be more unavailable. It's very sad for me.
Today I had a lucky meeting with two friends and they joined myself and another friend for an impromptu lunch and coffee. It was a lovely afternoon. And the sun is finally shining.
Lots of things in my life are breaking down at the moment - my car a couple of weeks ago (hence the new one) and today my phone. When I logged onto the laptop last night, the mouse stopped working and it was the same earlier but that seems to have rectified itself again. So, a new phone must be got! My friend has one that he said he'd give me but if he can't find it, I will just have to buy a new one tomorrow because my phone has only a couple of days left max. If I'm lucky.
Anyway, I like to think of this as a massive release of negative energy and that it's the start of a brand new life path. Hopefully a positive one. I'm going to a party tonight but I've decided to drive there and not drink because I just hate waking up on a Sunday morning hungover. I don't mind being hungover on Saturdays but Sunday... no. So anyway, that's a good decision. And I have to stick to it because my housemate is coming to the party with me and I've already told her that I'd drive her, so I'm kind of locked into that decision.
I'm pretty tired now. Just lounging in bed and listening to the radio. It's actually a pal of mine on the radio, which is cool. I'll have a cigarette after that and then I'll go for a power nap before getting ready for the party. It's a music party with different bands and groups playing so it should be a lovely evening. I'm looking forward to it. There is someone potentially going that I absolutely dread meeting. I did hear a great quote recently though from Oscar Wilde - 'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.' I'll try to keep that in mind later, haha.
- Hi Liza. He couldn't be more unavailable. It's very sad for me.
Today I had a lucky meeting with two friends and they joined myself and another friend for an impromptu lunch and coffee. It was a lovely afternoon. And the sun is finally shining.
Lots of things in my life are breaking down at the moment - my car a couple of weeks ago (hence the new one) and today my phone. When I logged onto the laptop last night, the mouse stopped working and it was the same earlier but that seems to have rectified itself again. So, a new phone must be got! My friend has one that he said he'd give me but if he can't find it, I will just have to buy a new one tomorrow because my phone has only a couple of days left max. If I'm lucky.
Anyway, I like to think of this as a massive release of negative energy and that it's the start of a brand new life path. Hopefully a positive one. I'm going to a party tonight but I've decided to drive there and not drink because I just hate waking up on a Sunday morning hungover. I don't mind being hungover on Saturdays but Sunday... no. So anyway, that's a good decision. And I have to stick to it because my housemate is coming to the party with me and I've already told her that I'd drive her, so I'm kind of locked into that decision.
I'm pretty tired now. Just lounging in bed and listening to the radio. It's actually a pal of mine on the radio, which is cool. I'll have a cigarette after that and then I'll go for a power nap before getting ready for the party. It's a music party with different bands and groups playing so it should be a lovely evening. I'm looking forward to it. There is someone potentially going that I absolutely dread meeting. I did hear a great quote recently though from Oscar Wilde - 'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.' I'll try to keep that in mind later, haha.
Cate
Long term member
I didn't know that one. He's a great songwriter & apparently, is very good live. Our son, R went to see him & loves his music.
Lunch sounds nice, Em & good decision re driving home from the party. Hope you enjoy yourself!
Thanks Cate. The party was fine, but the honest truth is that I would have enjoyed it more if I was drinking. I left at around 11pm. Still, I woke up today feeling like I hadn't really missed out on anything and happy with my decision.
I've just booked in an acupuncture session for the Saturday after next in another effort to give up smoking. I've marked it in my diary as my 'quit day'. They offer 3 to 4 sessions with quitting smoking as the emphasis. It's definitely worth trying anyway. I've only got a very short session of acupuncture before, and the woman was really horrible to me, but I found the whole experience quite enjoyable in some ways. Needles don't freak me out too much and it's not sore or anything. Anyway, fingers crossed! I will quit these damn things, I will!!!!
Today is the most glorious day it's been here in months and months. Beautiful blue sky, sun shining, a fresh 9 degrees out there. I woke up at half 8 (too early, my sleep is still very disturbed) and after a bit of lounging around, I got up and decided to walk to the shop next door to get a coffee. Lo and behold, it was closed, which is unusual and makes me think someone died. Anyway, this forced me on a 20 minute walk to the next shop and then I took my cake, coffee and paper to the park. I sat basking in the sun for a while and then walked home. So, a really positive start to the day.
The woman I dreaded meeting was at the party, as suspected. I actually chatted away to her and her husband quite naturally, and I've realised I'm over the whole thing and I don't bear her any ill-will or resentment anymore. It was great! They both looked very thin and were a bit subdued. They also left really early. Anyway, overall, it was a very positive meeting for me because I really feel I've matured and have managed to forgive but also I'm happy that I stuck up for myself and didn't try to cling on to a friendship that had clearly run its course.
I also met a good few of my own friends and had some good fun with them so it's all good. I'm going to go home to my parents' house after tennis this evening and show off the new car, which will be really exciting. And then another week begins. Tomorrow evening, I have a bit of an awkward meeting to get through, so I'm hoping it all goes fine. Life is complicated at times, haha. At least I'm out there, giving it a go.
I've just booked in an acupuncture session for the Saturday after next in another effort to give up smoking. I've marked it in my diary as my 'quit day'. They offer 3 to 4 sessions with quitting smoking as the emphasis. It's definitely worth trying anyway. I've only got a very short session of acupuncture before, and the woman was really horrible to me, but I found the whole experience quite enjoyable in some ways. Needles don't freak me out too much and it's not sore or anything. Anyway, fingers crossed! I will quit these damn things, I will!!!!
Today is the most glorious day it's been here in months and months. Beautiful blue sky, sun shining, a fresh 9 degrees out there. I woke up at half 8 (too early, my sleep is still very disturbed) and after a bit of lounging around, I got up and decided to walk to the shop next door to get a coffee. Lo and behold, it was closed, which is unusual and makes me think someone died. Anyway, this forced me on a 20 minute walk to the next shop and then I took my cake, coffee and paper to the park. I sat basking in the sun for a while and then walked home. So, a really positive start to the day.
The woman I dreaded meeting was at the party, as suspected. I actually chatted away to her and her husband quite naturally, and I've realised I'm over the whole thing and I don't bear her any ill-will or resentment anymore. It was great! They both looked very thin and were a bit subdued. They also left really early. Anyway, overall, it was a very positive meeting for me because I really feel I've matured and have managed to forgive but also I'm happy that I stuck up for myself and didn't try to cling on to a friendship that had clearly run its course.
I also met a good few of my own friends and had some good fun with them so it's all good. I'm going to go home to my parents' house after tennis this evening and show off the new car, which will be really exciting. And then another week begins. Tomorrow evening, I have a bit of an awkward meeting to get through, so I'm hoping it all goes fine. Life is complicated at times, haha. At least I'm out there, giving it a go.