Cate
Long term member
That's great, Em.
True that. It's easier making smart choices about everything really.
Tennis & it's socialising are certainly doing you a lot of good. I hope you got invited in for tea
Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
Tennis & it's socialising are certainly doing you a lot of good. I hope you got invited in for tea
- I did get invited in for tea Cate, it was lovely!
- Yeah, it was really great to catch up with them Marsia. No drama.
I had an incredibly annoying day in work and basically complained all day long. It was ridiculous really. There is also a woman in there that I absolutely cannot communicate with - I just find her so, so challenging. She's also not on top of things, which is also head-wrecking. And there were loads of issues on top of that today that I won't get into, but which I will be complaining about to my manager tomorrow. I've decided to complain that woman though because she's started to make life really difficult for me, and I need to be able to work and do my job without worrying about her spreading nonsense about me. She approached one of my colleagues a while back and asked them if I was okay because I seemed upset, when there was nothing in the world wrong with me whatsoever, except that I slightly told her off about something. She's a fucking snake.
Anyway, enough about that. One of the guys at the club was suggesting we book Cute Coach for a lesson in a couple of weeks, so I will have to get on with organising that. Not my suggestion! Just following the universe's lead! I also have a potential new mixed doubles partner while William is on holidays, which would be great. It's nice to mix it up. I'd always keep William as the first option though. I think that's fair.
Anyway, a bit disappointed with myself today at how cross I got in work - I was so enraged and I just had to talk it out all day long. Agggghhhhh. I have my faults, I know I do. But, I think, when it boils down to the big things, I am a good person. I definitely have morals and a certain level of respect and courtesy that I extend to other people. Not on every level, but I do my best. Anyway, I was not treated with any courtesy or respect today, and I was really left in the lurch, and it has pissed me off so much. That's a separate issue to the communication problems I was having with that other girl. But, this also boils down to communication as well and I have not been treated fairly. Anyway, the day is over now. Let's forget about it and go watch The Boys.
- Yeah, it was really great to catch up with them Marsia. No drama.
I had an incredibly annoying day in work and basically complained all day long. It was ridiculous really. There is also a woman in there that I absolutely cannot communicate with - I just find her so, so challenging. She's also not on top of things, which is also head-wrecking. And there were loads of issues on top of that today that I won't get into, but which I will be complaining about to my manager tomorrow. I've decided to complain that woman though because she's started to make life really difficult for me, and I need to be able to work and do my job without worrying about her spreading nonsense about me. She approached one of my colleagues a while back and asked them if I was okay because I seemed upset, when there was nothing in the world wrong with me whatsoever, except that I slightly told her off about something. She's a fucking snake.
Anyway, enough about that. One of the guys at the club was suggesting we book Cute Coach for a lesson in a couple of weeks, so I will have to get on with organising that.
Not my suggestion! Just following the universe's lead! I also have a potential new mixed doubles partner while William is on holidays, which would be great. It's nice to mix it up. I'd always keep William as the first option though. I think that's fair.Anyway, a bit disappointed with myself today at how cross I got in work - I was so enraged and I just had to talk it out all day long. Agggghhhhh. I have my faults, I know I do. But, I think, when it boils down to the big things, I am a good person. I definitely have morals and a certain level of respect and courtesy that I extend to other people. Not on every level, but I do my best. Anyway, I was not treated with any courtesy or respect today, and I was really left in the lurch, and it has pissed me off so much. That's a separate issue to the communication problems I was having with that other girl. But, this also boils down to communication as well and I have not been treated fairly. Anyway, the day is over now. Let's forget about it and go watch The Boys.
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Cate
Long term member
Anyway, enough about that. One of the guys at the club was suggesting we book Cute Coach for a lesson in a couple of weeks, so I will have to get on with organising that.
What a crackup. Thank you, universe!- Haha, thanks Cate.
I am very upset this evening. Basically, the girl I had the run-in with yesterday had a meeting with my manager and told her she was 'very upset', which I kind of knew would happen. It's a very tricky one because, from my perspective, I haven't really done anything that major to her, and she just seems to be gunning for me. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and think how I would feel about our interactions, but all I can come back to is that it's a personality clash. There's a very clear dislike of me coming from her side.
To be honest, I couldn't care less about her. I have no interest in continuing drama with her, but of course, now we are getting hauled into a meeting together to 'sort it out.' I don't want to have that meeting because I don't feel in any way sorry or guilty or any of the ways I usually feel when I have a dispute with someone. I don't know, I am just over all this stuff. I just want to go in and do my job. But unfortunately, when I'm upset, I also tend to express myself a bit too forcefully, which she has taken exception to. But like, that's just my personality. I'm always going to be dramatic and get overly emotional and aggravated at times.
And, you know what? I don't really want to change that about myself. I'm sick and tired of putting myself down and worrying about how other people perceive me. I've just really started living for myself in the last few years, and I am fucking loving it. Even though there are still the addiction issues plaguing me, in general, this is the best I've felt about myself and my life in a long, long time. I am truly finding out who I am, and that person is a great person! Even if it's me that's saying that! And I have lots of people in my life that would agree with that summation.
I'm always someone who has fallen out with a lot of people or had a lot of people take a complete dislike to me, for reasons I can't really comprehend. This made me sad and angry for a long, long time. Now, what I say is fuck 'em. There's plenty of other friends out there. I can't constantly squash my personality and make myself so small to make other people happy. I wanna shine my light man!
Anyway, I'm going to try to push the latest upset out of my head and just fucking enjoy the good aspects my life. And there really are so many. I can finally say that.
It's all for the best.
I am very upset this evening. Basically, the girl I had the run-in with yesterday had a meeting with my manager and told her she was 'very upset', which I kind of knew would happen. It's a very tricky one because, from my perspective, I haven't really done anything that major to her, and she just seems to be gunning for me. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes and think how I would feel about our interactions, but all I can come back to is that it's a personality clash. There's a very clear dislike of me coming from her side.
To be honest, I couldn't care less about her. I have no interest in continuing drama with her, but of course, now we are getting hauled into a meeting together to 'sort it out.' I don't want to have that meeting because I don't feel in any way sorry or guilty or any of the ways I usually feel when I have a dispute with someone. I don't know, I am just over all this stuff. I just want to go in and do my job. But unfortunately, when I'm upset, I also tend to express myself a bit too forcefully, which she has taken exception to. But like, that's just my personality. I'm always going to be dramatic and get overly emotional and aggravated at times.
And, you know what? I don't really want to change that about myself. I'm sick and tired of putting myself down and worrying about how other people perceive me. I've just really started living for myself in the last few years, and I am fucking loving it. Even though there are still the addiction issues plaguing me, in general, this is the best I've felt about myself and my life in a long, long time. I am truly finding out who I am, and that person is a great person! Even if it's me that's saying that! And I have lots of people in my life that would agree with that summation.
I'm always someone who has fallen out with a lot of people or had a lot of people take a complete dislike to me, for reasons I can't really comprehend. This made me sad and angry for a long, long time. Now, what I say is fuck 'em. There's plenty of other friends out there. I can't constantly squash my personality and make myself so small to make other people happy. I wanna shine my light man!
Anyway, I'm going to try to push the latest upset out of my head and just fucking enjoy the good aspects my life. And there really are so many. I can finally say that.
It's all for the best.
Em, I'm glad you stood up for yourself and were you instead of shrinking and feeling you need to defend yourself. I know what you mean about snakes at work. I tend to get very quiet around people like that, and I bide my time until I amass enough on them to get them fired or reported. If people cross me they usually find themselves mysteriously in a lot of hot water - I document everything and wait until they basically hang themselves. I hope you point out some of the big the stuff she was doing incorrectly at the meeting and explain that you were trying to help her (or some other thing that shows that you were doing your job and she was messing up all over the place.). It's really good that she didn't get you off balance emotionally and you can go in and dispassionately and professionally explain that you just want to do your job well and avoid any future drama.
I completely agree with how you are approaching life - do your best and the rest will fall into place. No need to apologize for having a big personality or for not being perfect. Just work on yourself and be happy! I am starting to do this a lot more, too. I love how much you are enjoying yourself, too! It's wonderful to read!!
I completely agree with how you are approaching life - do your best and the rest will fall into place. No need to apologize for having a big personality or for not being perfect. Just work on yourself and be happy! I am starting to do this a lot more, too. I love how much you are enjoying yourself, too! It's wonderful to read!!
Thanks Marsia.
Well, we had the meeting today and it seems to be resolved. In my mind, it has been anyway. One thing I liked is that her story didn't change and she didn't start making things up in the meeting, which has been done to me before. So, I can respect that, and just hope she understands me a little bit more after today and we can put this behind us. My manager dealt with it well.
I had a nice evening of tennis afterwards. The weather is quite warm and really nice for a game. I played group tennis for an hour and then a game of singles, which I won. I played quite well, it was encouraging. I have a tournament match tomorrow evening, which is quite exciting. I am really tired now, so going to get to sleep once I finish typing here.
I don't have much else to discuss really. My mum has the dreaded Covid, which means Dad probably has it at this stage also. I felt so sorry for her. She's okay though, just a bit of a cough and a head cold. She could do without it! It's gone mad here again. I am so sick and tired of it. I think the cost of living has taken over as the main pain point for people now. Things are so expensive. I'm not great with money, but even I am aware of how much even a couple of purchases are costing me now. Luckily, my rent isn't too bad, and this house is really warm, so even in winter, we won't be using crazy amounts of oil. We got a good deal on our electricity also.
I think there's a problem with my car again, the horrible noise is back. And my phone is on the blink. I can't afford to replace either. Those are kind of my main concerns for the day. I have the same 500 euros that I keep transferring into my savings every month and then taking back out. I have no debt but no savings either. I need to start figuring that side of my life out.
Well, we had the meeting today and it seems to be resolved. In my mind, it has been anyway. One thing I liked is that her story didn't change and she didn't start making things up in the meeting, which has been done to me before. So, I can respect that, and just hope she understands me a little bit more after today and we can put this behind us. My manager dealt with it well.
I had a nice evening of tennis afterwards. The weather is quite warm and really nice for a game. I played group tennis for an hour and then a game of singles, which I won. I played quite well, it was encouraging. I have a tournament match tomorrow evening, which is quite exciting. I am really tired now, so going to get to sleep once I finish typing here.
I don't have much else to discuss really. My mum has the dreaded Covid, which means Dad probably has it at this stage also. I felt so sorry for her. She's okay though, just a bit of a cough and a head cold. She could do without it! It's gone mad here again. I am so sick and tired of it. I think the cost of living has taken over as the main pain point for people now. Things are so expensive. I'm not great with money, but even I am aware of how much even a couple of purchases are costing me now. Luckily, my rent isn't too bad, and this house is really warm, so even in winter, we won't be using crazy amounts of oil. We got a good deal on our electricity also.
I think there's a problem with my car again, the horrible noise is back. And my phone is on the blink. I can't afford to replace either. Those are kind of my main concerns for the day. I have the same 500 euros that I keep transferring into my savings every month and then taking back out. I have no debt but no savings either. I need to start figuring that side of my life out.
Another tournament, another defeat. It's at times like this that I think I should give up on the tennis dream and just play away myself for fun. I don't know. I'm not really getting anywhere with it. Maybe I'll never be good enough. Sigh.
We didn't play badly, but we didn't play well enough to win. Sometimes I can tap into the magic, but it wasn't happening for me tonight. I have another match on Saturday in a different tournament - agh. It's singles so it's a bit different - it's more under my control what happens, in a way. It's only you versus another person, as opposed to four different people on the court. And less net play, which is good. But my fitness levels are the problem in singles. Anyway, it's too late now, I've signed up, and I will be there on Saturday, win or lose. I would love, love, love to win though. Love it. I need a confidence booster at this point.
I'm not someone who takes losing on the chin, like other people do, but at the same time, I am able to dust myself off pretty quickly. It's hard in the moment though. My partner Angela was telling me about some troubles she's having with a few of the other women in the club - she was part of a Whatsapp group with them, and now she thinks they have formed another Whatsapp group excluding her, because one of them keeps posting in the wrong one by accident and mentioning these social events that she hasn't heard about. These are women in their 50s and 60s. The schoolyard stuff never ends, does it? That kind of thing would really upset me also, but I tried to console her by saying that they are probably a negative influence anyway and maybe she's better off out of it. There are loads of other really nice women in the club to be friendly with instead. I'm lucky I am a lot younger than them, so it kind of protects me from getting embroiled in it all. But yeah, it makes me sad that women are such bitches to each other at times. And Angela is such a lovely person, I really don't know why you would want to exclude her from anything really. But yeah. People! It's complicated!
So yeah, one day left in the office. My phone is in breakdown mode - such a disaster. And the car needs to be seen to soon because I suspect I only have a few more weeks before it just stops driving altogether. It's the same problem as the last time. Money, money, money. A win and money, oh wise Universe! Please bring them to me! And a tennis coach that will sort out my tennis game and my love life!
We didn't play badly, but we didn't play well enough to win. Sometimes I can tap into the magic, but it wasn't happening for me tonight. I have another match on Saturday in a different tournament - agh. It's singles so it's a bit different - it's more under my control what happens, in a way. It's only you versus another person, as opposed to four different people on the court. And less net play, which is good. But my fitness levels are the problem in singles. Anyway, it's too late now, I've signed up, and I will be there on Saturday, win or lose. I would love, love, love to win though. Love it. I need a confidence booster at this point.
I'm not someone who takes losing on the chin, like other people do, but at the same time, I am able to dust myself off pretty quickly. It's hard in the moment though. My partner Angela was telling me about some troubles she's having with a few of the other women in the club - she was part of a Whatsapp group with them, and now she thinks they have formed another Whatsapp group excluding her, because one of them keeps posting in the wrong one by accident and mentioning these social events that she hasn't heard about. These are women in their 50s and 60s. The schoolyard stuff never ends, does it? That kind of thing would really upset me also, but I tried to console her by saying that they are probably a negative influence anyway and maybe she's better off out of it. There are loads of other really nice women in the club to be friendly with instead. I'm lucky I am a lot younger than them, so it kind of protects me from getting embroiled in it all. But yeah, it makes me sad that women are such bitches to each other at times. And Angela is such a lovely person, I really don't know why you would want to exclude her from anything really. But yeah. People! It's complicated!
So yeah, one day left in the office. My phone is in breakdown mode - such a disaster. And the car needs to be seen to soon because I suspect I only have a few more weeks before it just stops driving altogether. It's the same problem as the last time. Money, money, money. A win and money, oh wise Universe! Please bring them to me! And a tennis coach that will sort out my tennis game and my love life!
Cate
Long term member
Em, I think it would be such a shame if you gave up competitive tennis. I think it's the competitiveness that you love, even when you lose.
Angela's experience with the tennis club bitches really brought back to me why I probably won't bother going back to the golfing women. The nice ones just don't seem to make up for the bitchy ones. I just can't be bothered with it all.
Now, there's a plan
So glad you have an effective manager at work and the situation is resolved. That's wonderful! I have had that problem with moms where there is competition and exclusion for no reason. I tended not to socialize in the whole kid/parent party thing because of it. I don't get why social situations turn into competitive sports. It's sad how insecure people are that they revert to junior high school behavior so easily.
I agree with Cate about tennis. It seems like nearly everyone has a first year or so losing tournaments and being the newbies who just need a ton of practice in putting in the games to climb through the ranks. You are doing great with the matches and enjoying yourself. When you start winning tournaments in the future, it's going to feel so sweet!
Sorry to hear about your mom catching Covid. I really hope she has a quick recovery, and with any luck that your dad dodges that bullet. I also feel you about economic worries. If it weren't for my mom's car before we sold our house, we would have had to do some sort of car share membership. As far as I can tell there is too much corporate influence in politics and the people running things are very focused on their lobbyists and campaign donors, and are doing a horrible job with actually managing real world economies here and elsewhere in the world. I hope it's not like that where you are, and I really really hope you aren't facing another Covid shut down. I hope you can save up a little each month for a new phone and maybe you could work something out with your parents as far as car sharing if you get in a pinch? Anyway, we moved from our dream house we planned to retire in because of what you are describing, so I completely empathize.
I agree with Cate about tennis. It seems like nearly everyone has a first year or so losing tournaments and being the newbies who just need a ton of practice in putting in the games to climb through the ranks. You are doing great with the matches and enjoying yourself. When you start winning tournaments in the future, it's going to feel so sweet!
Sorry to hear about your mom catching Covid. I really hope she has a quick recovery, and with any luck that your dad dodges that bullet. I also feel you about economic worries. If it weren't for my mom's car before we sold our house, we would have had to do some sort of car share membership. As far as I can tell there is too much corporate influence in politics and the people running things are very focused on their lobbyists and campaign donors, and are doing a horrible job with actually managing real world economies here and elsewhere in the world. I hope it's not like that where you are, and I really really hope you aren't facing another Covid shut down. I hope you can save up a little each month for a new phone and maybe you could work something out with your parents as far as car sharing if you get in a pinch? Anyway, we moved from our dream house we planned to retire in because of what you are describing, so I completely empathize.
- Hi Cate. It's so sad how that cliquishness is such a common theme for everyone. There's a difference between having a few close friends versus going out of your way to keep someone out of the loop. It's been done to me many times and it's difficult to overcome that. But like I said to my friend, you're better off without them. You really are.
So, things have been a bit tenuous with the team, as you have been reading, and today I 'won' a trivia quiz that one of the lads had put together, and it was an interesting vibe, to say the least. People to seem to take it as a personal insult if you are smarter than them on some things. But, as I said already, I'm sick of pretending I don't like these things and that I'm not interested in winning for the sake of their egos. I mean, we went on this zip-lining thing a few years ago where I was the biggest baby and couldn't do anything on it, so it's not like I am excelling all round me. I am a weakling in a lot of ways. But I really get the vibe that I am pissing a lot of people off right now.
And no, it is not my imagination, because this was my life in school all the time. If I actually start getting really good at tennis, I will be despised in no time. That's the way it goes.
I have to laugh - I was telling Dad about the loss last night in tennis, but that I won the quiz today, and now I'm on a winning streak. And he was like, 'Well, general knowledge doesn't have much in common with tennis, does it?' Lol. I really appreciate having honest parents. People think I am really spoilt as an only child, and I am in some ways, but my parents are not under any illusions about my abilities.
Besides the trivia win, I got two fantastic emails full of high praise today, and one message from another guy who told me I was great to work with. It really was a Fun Friday.
Of course, I am punishing myself for having a good day by drinking wine and making any chance I have of winning my tournament match tomorrow smaller. I was considering this conundrum earlier, and I really think it boils down to me not feeling I deserve any of the good things. And so I punish myself by making myself tired and fat.
I just know my life is on the cusp of being so great. I mean, it's GOOD. But I am missing out on a loving relationship, and I really want that.
P.S. I texted the coach today about the lesson (that was not suggested by me!). No response.
This sentence is so spot on. More about that below.
So, things have been a bit tenuous with the team, as you have been reading, and today I 'won' a trivia quiz that one of the lads had put together, and it was an interesting vibe, to say the least. People to seem to take it as a personal insult if you are smarter than them on some things. But, as I said already, I'm sick of pretending I don't like these things and that I'm not interested in winning for the sake of their egos. I mean, we went on this zip-lining thing a few years ago where I was the biggest baby and couldn't do anything on it, so it's not like I am excelling all round me. I am a weakling in a lot of ways. But I really get the vibe that I am pissing a lot of people off right now.
And no, it is not my imagination, because this was my life in school all the time. If I actually start getting really good at tennis, I will be despised in no time. That's the way it goes.
I have to laugh - I was telling Dad about the loss last night in tennis, but that I won the quiz today, and now I'm on a winning streak. And he was like, 'Well, general knowledge doesn't have much in common with tennis, does it?' Lol. I really appreciate having honest parents. People think I am really spoilt as an only child, and I am in some ways, but my parents are not under any illusions about my abilities.
Besides the trivia win, I got two fantastic emails full of high praise today, and one message from another guy who told me I was great to work with. It really was a Fun Friday.
Of course, I am punishing myself for having a good day by drinking wine and making any chance I have of winning my tournament match tomorrow smaller. I was considering this conundrum earlier, and I really think it boils down to me not feeling I deserve any of the good things. And so I punish myself by making myself tired and fat.
I just know my life is on the cusp of being so great. I mean, it's GOOD. But I am missing out on a loving relationship, and I really want that.
P.S. I texted the coach today about the lesson (that was not suggested by me!). No response.
Hi Em!! I hid many of my abilities growing up so I didn't get picked on, and I still tend to do that around people who I am not sure of as far as them being competitive and weird. So I need to tell me to go ahead and be myself a lot more. It's hard if you are in an environment where people compare themselves unfavorably to you. Also I notice with our board game nights here at home that some people thrive with competition and some people feel badly and don't like competing at things they aren't naturally good at right of the bat.
With deserving to be happy, the advice I am trying to internalize is that people should put their happiness right up there even higher than making other people happy, because if you walk around happy, that influences everyone around you, but if you walk around frustrated and in a bad mood, that also influences every one around you. So the advice is to take care of your happiness first and the rest will naturally arise out of that. I will be doing the world a service learning to be at peace with myself. I am trying to practice this anyway.
It stinks how generally we don't meet people to date while searching for them, it's usually when we are content being alone that we get that attractive energy that draws potential boyfriends in. So annoying. Hopefully your coach is just inordinately busy and will get back to you!
Also, I hope you feel good (with no strings attached) at the emails full of praise!
With deserving to be happy, the advice I am trying to internalize is that people should put their happiness right up there even higher than making other people happy, because if you walk around happy, that influences everyone around you, but if you walk around frustrated and in a bad mood, that also influences every one around you. So the advice is to take care of your happiness first and the rest will naturally arise out of that. I will be doing the world a service learning to be at peace with myself. I am trying to practice this anyway.
It stinks how generally we don't meet people to date while searching for them, it's usually when we are content being alone that we get that attractive energy that draws potential boyfriends in. So annoying. Hopefully your coach is just inordinately busy and will get back to you!
Also, I hope you feel good (with no strings attached) at the emails full of praise!
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Cate
Long term member
Sounds familiar
I spent half of my life doing that.Concentrate on the fact that life is good, Em.
M has a good point here.
- Thanks Marsia. I feel like I'm content enough these days by myself, but a nice boyfriend would be the icing on the cake!
- We deserve the good things, Cate. xx
Today, my body is broken. I played four and a half hours of tennis today in the equivalent of an oven and now it's 12.30 am and I can't sleep. My body feels like it is on fire. My face is so hot, all my muscles are aching and my feet are sore.
On the plus side, I had a really fantastic day. I played the best tennis of my life (still didn't win! for feck sake!) and had my parents and a girl from work there cheering me on, which was lovely.
I am so burnt now though and my head has gone mad from the tournament, which tends to happen. I also had another lady that I played against earlier in the week come over to me after the match, and she was really kind and friendly, so that was nice too.
Tomorrow, I am going home for a richly-deserved roast lamb dinner and I'm going to put my blistered feet up and watch Wimbledon. I will be staying out of the sun as much as I can. It was 23 degrees today and it felt so, so hot. I definitely wouldn't like to live anywhere warmer for long. I'm not a sun worshipper at all. I will have a lovely colour after the burn goes down.
For Wimbledon tomorrow, I am rooting for the Aussie Nick Kyrios. Yeah, he doesn't seem like the greatest person on the planet but he's such a fantastic player and Djokovic has won it enough times. It's going to be such an exciting match, looking forward to it.
Not much else to report really. No wine today, but I feel I would turn into a raisin myself if I dehydrated myself any further. I was really happy with my fitness today, it was such a tough match, and I managed to keep going. My friend from work told my parents that I have improved so much. That warmed my heart.
Anyway, I need sleep!! Pray for me that my brain switches off soon.
- We deserve the good things, Cate. xx
Today, my body is broken. I played four and a half hours of tennis today in the equivalent of an oven and now it's 12.30 am and I can't sleep. My body feels like it is on fire. My face is so hot, all my muscles are aching and my feet are sore.
On the plus side, I had a really fantastic day. I played the best tennis of my life (still didn't win! for feck sake!) and had my parents and a girl from work there cheering me on, which was lovely.
I am so burnt now though and my head has gone mad from the tournament, which tends to happen. I also had another lady that I played against earlier in the week come over to me after the match, and she was really kind and friendly, so that was nice too.Tomorrow, I am going home for a richly-deserved roast lamb dinner and I'm going to put my blistered feet up and watch Wimbledon. I will be staying out of the sun as much as I can. It was 23 degrees today and it felt so, so hot. I definitely wouldn't like to live anywhere warmer for long. I'm not a sun worshipper at all. I will have a lovely colour after the burn goes down.
For Wimbledon tomorrow, I am rooting for the Aussie Nick Kyrios. Yeah, he doesn't seem like the greatest person on the planet but he's such a fantastic player and Djokovic has won it enough times. It's going to be such an exciting match, looking forward to it.
Not much else to report really. No wine today, but I feel I would turn into a raisin myself if I dehydrated myself any further. I was really happy with my fitness today, it was such a tough match, and I managed to keep going. My friend from work told my parents that I have improved so much. That warmed my heart.
Anyway, I need sleep!! Pray for me that my brain switches off soon.
Wow, I really do hope you got to sleep ok. If not and you are reading this, would a cooler shower or bath help? I hope you have good things to take the sting out of the sunburn. I was thinking about the tournaments, and I don't think it's fair to compare yourself to the other players who have been playing in them longer than you. You were just asked to join, so as the newb, you especially may not want to compare your game to anyone's but your own previous performance. With those criteria in mind, you won big time!
Thanks Marsia. I actually didn't get badly burnt, I was just really, really hot from being out in the sun for that long. I'm fine again.
Right! I've decided that I need to start using this diary for what it's actually meant for, which is weight loss. With that in mind, I'm going to plan my food for the next day every evening. I'm not going to berate myself if I go off track, but planning is key. 'Fail to plan, plan to fail.'
This is the first evening 'off' I've had in ages, where I have nothing on, and it's been great. Sometimes I fill that void by buying alcohol, but for some reason this evening, that idea hasn't appealed to me at all. Which is great! Maybe I'm cured!
I came home and had something to eat and packed my lunch for tomorrow, did a bit of emptying of bins and kitchen cleaning, and chatted to my housemate for a little while. All good, all productive. I have nothing else to do this evening and I plan to close my eyes for sleep at 9pm! I haven't got an early night in weeks.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- buckwheat porridge, bee pollen, blueberries, whole milk
- smoked salmon, orange peppers, tomatoes, kimchi, sauerkraut, cheese and cucumber
- prawn stir-fry with mixed veggies and sweet potato fries
- 1 coffee and milk, 1 tea and milk, herbal tea, water
Exercise:
- easy morning run
- tennis doubles 1 hour
Easy, eh?
Right! I've decided that I need to start using this diary for what it's actually meant for, which is weight loss. With that in mind, I'm going to plan my food for the next day every evening. I'm not going to berate myself if I go off track, but planning is key. 'Fail to plan, plan to fail.'
This is the first evening 'off' I've had in ages, where I have nothing on, and it's been great. Sometimes I fill that void by buying alcohol, but for some reason this evening, that idea hasn't appealed to me at all. Which is great! Maybe I'm cured!
I came home and had something to eat and packed my lunch for tomorrow, did a bit of emptying of bins and kitchen cleaning, and chatted to my housemate for a little while. All good, all productive. I have nothing else to do this evening and I plan to close my eyes for sleep at 9pm! I haven't got an early night in weeks.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- buckwheat porridge, bee pollen, blueberries, whole milk
- smoked salmon, orange peppers, tomatoes, kimchi, sauerkraut, cheese and cucumber
- prawn stir-fry with mixed veggies and sweet potato fries
- 1 coffee and milk, 1 tea and milk, herbal tea, water
Exercise:
- easy morning run
- tennis doubles 1 hour
Easy, eh?
Thanks Cate. I did the breakfast and lunch part as planned, couldn't quite manage the dinner.
Today I'm in a little bit of a slump myself. I was fine in work, just felt flat after work - even the tennis game didn't cheer me up really and I was a bit off-form. I get like that sometimes. Nothing to worry about really, I guess I'm just working through some stuff.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- muesli with added goji berries, mulberries, blueberries, bee pollen and spirulina with milk
- I'm going to leave lunch open, as I have nothing prepped and no energy to
- prawn stir fry with sweet potato fries
Exercise:
- Run
I have to be in work early tomorrow to meet a man about a franking machine. Exciting times.
The weather is still very warm. I had a really early night last night but I was tossing and turning for ages and sweating like crazy. I kept waking up during the night. I also had a dream that I could control lights and they would start flickering when I entered a room. I think they all exploded at some point. That's the winning combo of watching The Boys and The Phantom of the Opera in the last few days. I'm a combination of Starlight and the Phantom. Lol.
Nothing more to say. I have to see this man in concert soon.
Today I'm in a little bit of a slump myself. I was fine in work, just felt flat after work - even the tennis game didn't cheer me up really and I was a bit off-form. I get like that sometimes. Nothing to worry about really, I guess I'm just working through some stuff.
Food plan for tomorrow:
- muesli with added goji berries, mulberries, blueberries, bee pollen and spirulina with milk
- I'm going to leave lunch open, as I have nothing prepped and no energy to
- prawn stir fry with sweet potato fries
Exercise:
- Run
I have to be in work early tomorrow to meet a man about a franking machine. Exciting times.
The weather is still very warm. I had a really early night last night but I was tossing and turning for ages and sweating like crazy. I kept waking up during the night. I also had a dream that I could control lights and they would start flickering when I entered a room. I think they all exploded at some point. That's the winning combo of watching The Boys and The Phantom of the Opera in the last few days. I'm a combination of Starlight and the Phantom. Lol.
Nothing more to say. I have to see this man in concert soon.
Thanks Cate. It's nearly Friday, haha.
So, I played some tennis tonight at our social night and I played so well. And I realised something... I think I can win the next tournament I'm in if I do what I did last night and today consistently for two weeks.
To note:
- I was asleep by 10 pm last night.
- I had my muesli with all the trimmings this morning and I had my tuna salad with pasta, tomatoes, cucumber, kimchi, sauerkraut and orange pepper for lunch.
So, I was both well-rested and had the proper nutrition, and my game was just so impressive. I was assured, I was confident, I was hitting the ball well. So, now I know that early nights and healthy food actually make a huge difference. What a shocking revelation! Hahaha.
The next tournament starts two weeks from tomorrow. I did really well in the most recent one with no preparations whatsoever - if fact, I had an extremely unhealthy week. But if I can just make this commitment to myself to give it my all in the run-up to this one, I think I could actually win the bloody thing! Wouldn't that be a turn up for the books!
So yeah, I'm all excited again. Obviously, eating well, avoiding the smokes and alcohol and going to sleep early is the antithesis of the way I've been living my life in the last few years. Or ever really. But maybe having this external goal is the push I need to stay focused on this.
I really, really, really, really want to win. Do I want to win more than I want to drink or smoke or eat chocolate? That remains to be seen. But I'm going to keep trying to hammer that message home to my subconscious. 'If you build the proper routine, the victories will come.'
No other news really, work is going great. I'm helping a friend get his Irish citizenship, which is one of the coolest things ever. He asked me to be a reference for him. It was a real honour to be asked. So that's exciting. It's nice to feel useful!
So, I played some tennis tonight at our social night and I played so well. And I realised something... I think I can win the next tournament I'm in if I do what I did last night and today consistently for two weeks.
To note:
- I was asleep by 10 pm last night.
- I had my muesli with all the trimmings this morning and I had my tuna salad with pasta, tomatoes, cucumber, kimchi, sauerkraut and orange pepper for lunch.
So, I was both well-rested and had the proper nutrition, and my game was just so impressive. I was assured, I was confident, I was hitting the ball well. So, now I know that early nights and healthy food actually make a huge difference. What a shocking revelation! Hahaha.
The next tournament starts two weeks from tomorrow. I did really well in the most recent one with no preparations whatsoever - if fact, I had an extremely unhealthy week. But if I can just make this commitment to myself to give it my all in the run-up to this one, I think I could actually win the bloody thing! Wouldn't that be a turn up for the books!
So yeah, I'm all excited again. Obviously, eating well, avoiding the smokes and alcohol and going to sleep early is the antithesis of the way I've been living my life in the last few years. Or ever really. But maybe having this external goal is the push I need to stay focused on this.
I really, really, really, really want to win. Do I want to win more than I want to drink or smoke or eat chocolate? That remains to be seen. But I'm going to keep trying to hammer that message home to my subconscious. 'If you build the proper routine, the victories will come.'
No other news really, work is going great. I'm helping a friend get his Irish citizenship, which is one of the coolest things ever. He asked me to be a reference for him. It was a real honour to be asked. So that's exciting. It's nice to feel useful!