Cory's Quest for a Healthier Life

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-Cory- said:
Not stress eating has been a challenge tonight, but I've managed.

No exercise today because I'm still sick, but I did get my 10,000 steps in at least.
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Huge kudos to you Cory for not stress eating & still getting 10K steps in. Well done!
 
Today was rough. I feel a little bad because that's basically been my journal update for the last 3 days. I don't like feeling like I'm a negative person.

But I'm still sick and feel like crap and now I'm questioning my entire decision to buy this house and work sucked today. I know a lot of that is first time buyer's jitters. It's a big thing and it's really hitting home now. I just have these visions of there being major structural issues and the repairs costing $20,000 because they'll have to jack up the house to fix it. I do have a meeting (tentatively) with a contractor on Friday to take a look. Realistically, I know it probably won't cost anywhere near that much, even if there is severe damage (it's a LITTLE house). And I do feel like I did everything I could to do my research and make an informed choice when buying this home. Coupled with the fact that half my department was gone today and I felt like I was trying to do 4 people's jobs, it was just a really stressful day. I forgot to eat lunch, which I know probably isn't helping my mood at the moment. The whole day was just overwhelming.

I'm at 8,700 steps right now. Debating on if I care enough today to get the last 1,300 to get to 10,000. I didn't do any other exercise today, so I probably will.

Breakfast: cottage cheese and coffee with milk - 355 calories
Lunch: skipped
Dinner: fettuccine alfredo and roasted vegetables - 706 calories
Total: 1061 calories

Soda free for four days.
 
I totally understand the stress and anxiety related to both the house and working on a day where you´re basically covering for everyone. And if you´re an anxious person anyone, it just tends to explode your brain. I hope you went for that extra walk; I find that walking helps calm me down.
 
Lama: My brain is definitely exploded. I have been furiously googling worst case scenarios for the last 3 hours and I can't seem to stop. Normally I can manage it pretty well, but it's admittedly a little out of control tonight.

Man, I was hoping to have a more positive post today, but that is unfortunately not the case. I'm still flipping out about the house and I worked for 12 hours today. That's pretty much a good summary of my whole day. Oh, my face hurts now because my sinuses have backed up. If this cold or whatever it is doesn't clear up in another day or two, I might need to go to the doctor.

Breakfast: Boston brown bread with butter and an apple - 376 calories
Lunch: Chinese chicken and broccoli with an eggroll - 793 calories
Dinner: cottage cheese - 220 calories
Snacks: dark chocolate - 135 calories
Total: 1524 calories

Got my 10,000 steps today and soda free for day five.
 
Oh, Cory. Stop, stop, stop, please. Find a distraction hon or you'll go crazy! Well done on getting your steps in, being soda free & having 1524 cals when stressed & busy xoxo
 
Ahh yes, I can relate so well to house-related overwhelming anxiety! One thing I can tell you after having done a ton of research on crawl spaces, is this: if anyone tries to talk you into sealing a vented crawl space - don't do it! We are sealing the crawl on our new build because it will be ventless and integrated into the HVAC, almost like a basement. But vented spaces are totally different. You may not even get this suggestion, but if there's been rotting in the past, it might come up as a solution to keep out the moisture. It's expensive and from what I have been told by an engineer friend who deals with landscapes and hardscapes - it causes more problems than it solves. Sounds like it could have been some settling on your house or water got into the crawl space and they had to reinforce or jack it up a bit to even out the floor. Have them check and make sure the terrain is sloping away from the house so the water isn't puddling under it. That fix is usually in the range of 3-5K, but it sounds like it has already been done. Unless your floors inside the house are sagging.
 
Big hugs Cory.

I know the worst piece of advice for somebody stressing is to tell them not to stress... but until you know what the issue is it's just wasted energy to stress. Sure, it could be this or it could be that, but equally it could be nothing. I'm shamelessly stealing from LaMa's diary (and also LaMa's dad lol) but, "the thing you suffer from most is the fear of suffering to come".

I know it's difficult, but try not to worry until you know more :)
 
Cate: Thanks for the hugs.

Jenni: The previous owners had the crawl space sealed. I'm undoing it. It was the first thing I saw when I went down in the crawl space. They've got the vents all blocked up and the insulation is covered with the plastic sheeting. Nothing can breathe. As soon as I get a little settled, that stuff is coming OUT. There is a little bit of a grading issue in the back yard, which I noticed before I put an offer in on the house. I'm a little limited with what I can do about it because a lot of the earth that would need to be moved to fix it is within the drip circle of this beautiful old maple tree that I DO NOT want to get rid of. It doesn't help that some dumb ass directed the downspout on that end of the house into the freaking hill. Eventually I'm going to buy a hose and direct the runoff away from the house. That should help things substantially.

Stan: I'm great at dealing with a situation that's bad. I'm terrible at dealing with a situation that I'm unsure what direction it will go in. I think it's because it makes it difficult to make a plan and control the outcome as much as I can. I have control issues. :p
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Finally I can make a positive post! I think my cold is petering out. I still have a little sinus congestion and sore throat, but I can tell it will be gone either tomorrow or the day after. The guy I helped out at work yesterday (that made me stay 4 hours over) sent an email to my boss saying how helpful and great it was to work with me. Timing couldn't be better for that, considering my performance review is in like a week and a half.

I also met with a contractor today.

This is the second guy I've met with and provided he doesn't give me a completely outrageous quote, I will probably hire him. The first guy I spoke with didn't really look at anything. I told him verbally what I wanted while he stood in the kitchen and nodded, then he texted me a number the next day. Nothing was broken out in terms of labor, materials, and the cost per individual job. The guy I spoke to today spent about an hour and a half walking around with me while I showed him the things I would like to have fixed. He even followed me into the crawl space and looked at the areas I was concerned over. He said it all looks good and the fixes will be minor/mostly cosmetic. Little to no damage to the rim joist and no damage to the sill plate. I am so relieved.

Food for the day:
Breakfast: Boston brown bread with butter - 296 calories
Lunch: tuna salad sandwich and pickles - 505 calories
Dinner: butter chicken, naan bread, and samosa chaat - 1343 calories
Total: 2144 calories

I will fully admit that I got takeout in celebration of my talk with the contractor. Maybe not the healthiest, but I'll be honest and say that I'm just thrilled I didn't binge eat every single day this week. Also, I only ate about half of it. I got some terrible stomach bug on New Year's eve that kept me nauseous for about a week and my stomach shrank A LOT in that time. My dad also just called and said he'd make the trip up here to see my new house this weekend. My mom actually saw it before I put in the offer because I wanted at least one parent's opinion on it, but he hasn't seen it yet. He also hasn't been up since my brother and his girlfriend moved up here either, so he'll want to see where they're living too. It'll be a nice visit, although I know it'll be really food heavy because he like to go out to eat. I'm thinking I'll try to liquid fast until dinner tomorrow because I suspect he'll want Mexican and I want to be able to eat chips and salsa and eat all my food.
 
Really nice visit with my dad. He really likes my house and thinks it was a smart buy. After he saw it we decided to grab some food. He, my brother, my brother's girlfriend, and I had dinner last night and then hung out at my brother's new place for a while. Only thing missing was my mom. It's a shame she couldn't have come up too. I was so bad in terms of food though. Truthfully, I calculated it out and probably ate about 3200 calories yesterday. YIKES. I also drank some soda, so my counter will have to start over today. So Friday night was around maintenance, yesterday was way over, and today will probably be around maintenance while I get rid of all the snacks he bought. Maybe if I'm really good this week, I can still lose a little weight by Friday.
 
At least you were feeding your soul as well as your stomach. Much better than stuffing yourself secretly while home alone.
 
Glad to see the house is getting sorted and it's only minor issues to deal with. My last place had a lot of issues so I understand the stress that comes with dealing with those things. :beerchug:Here's to a positive week coming up.
 
I'm happy for you that the house had fewer issues than you allowed youself to imagine and that you received parental support and approval. Hopefully this will help you place more trust in your convictions and instincts. Accepting more faith in yourself should shield you from some of the stress that triggers unhelpful responses. We don't always get everything right at first shot but I can't see you allowing yourself being easily hoodwinked. Even if things hadn't worked out quite as well as they did, would it have been worth all the stress?
 
Hale said:
Even if things hadn't worked out quite as well as they did, would it have been worth all the stress?
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That´s the thing about anxiety: it doesn´t listen to reason. I´m sure Cory knows she´s smarter than most people and has quite a bit of technical understanding but none of that matters when the chemical cascade in your brain gets triggered.
 
I don't disagree with you, LaMaria or you Cate. I see reinforcement of success as mitigating future anxiety via positive affirmation. Things that made me anxious in the past don't do so nearly as much with the wider context of age and experience. Buying a house in your 20s is a major achievement and could turn anyone into a basketcase. I see this as a notch in her belt to draw on for building a mantra to overcome adversity with greater confidence. My son bought his home in his mid 20s and I have never been prouder.
 
Everyone has actually made some really good points. The anxiety is definitely not rational or logical and one of the most frustrating things is that I completely recognize that even when I'm in the middle of it. Hale is also right in that part of what pushed it this time was the unfamiliarity of the situation. I'm betting next time I do this, it won't be so bad. I definitely did do my homework. My realtor told me she'd never worked with someone like me before. I'm the person who brings and ladder and tool box with me to every home tour so I can climb up things and take things apart. If I go to those lengths, there's no reason for me to be especially anxious about my choice, but we all know it doesn't work like that. I definitely appreciate everyone's support over the last few days. I'm thinking this week will be better in almost every single way.

Just wanted to check back in to say that today's food went waaaaayyyyyy downhill. It's a second 3,000 calorie day. Just have to dust myself off and move on. Make tomorrow and the rest of the week good.
 
-Cory- said:
Everyone has actually made some really good points. The anxiety is definitely not rational or logical and one of the most frustrating things is that I completely recognize that even when I'm in the middle of it. Hale is also right in that part of what pushed it this time was the unfamiliarity of the situation. I'm betting next time I do this, it won't be so bad. I definitely did do my homework. My realtor told me she'd never worked with someone like me before. I'm the person who brings and ladder and tool box with me to every home tour so I can climb up things and take things apart. If I go to those lengths, there's no reason for me to be especially anxious about my choice, but we all know it doesn't work like that. I definitely appreciate everyone's support over the last few days. I'm thinking this week will be better in almost every single way.

Just wanted to check back in to say that today's food went waaaaayyyyyy downhill. It's a second 3,000 calorie day. Just have to dust myself off and move on. Make tomorrow and the rest of the week good.
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I love your attitude! :)
 
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