Cate's Diary

Thanks, Em. I think I can do it when I'm not using my laptop. I'll take some more photos later & try again, just using my phone. The ones I have of the elephant plant urn show up a glued back on piece where R's dog got tangled up with it as they were loading it up.
 
Tick, tick, tick……
Happy New Year my friends!
🎉🥳🎊
 
Thank you, Floater, Llama, Liza & Rob :grouphug:
It's the New Year everywhere except for where you are, Rob I think.
I had a rough old end of the year yesterday, but consider myself very grateful. I am grateful for just about everything really. I may have lost my reading glasses, & dented the car getting back in the garage after my return trip into town retracing my footsteps looking for them, but.....
I am so fortunate. I could list all of the things that I am grateful for, but it's a really long list.
I rang G to fish out my old glasses from my golf bag so I do have some reading glasses & the dent doesn't matter. It's just another dent- more a scrape.
So many of my friends are on their own as their husbands have died.
I actually had a lovely day yesterday & had some lovely exchanges. One woman I met, who was an interstate tourist kept telling me how kind I was. All I had done was chat with her & asked about her dog & then asked if I could give it some dog treats. We sat together on a park bench, giving our dogs a few treats & chatted for a while & I think she said "you're so kind" 3 times until I said "surely this is normal kindness" to which she said, "it should be." I love talking to strangers. I went into the newsagents to ask if anyone had found my glasses & as I was walking away a very tall, lovely-looking guy in motorbike gear, was calling my name in a querying way. He had recognised my voice. He gave me a great big hug & asked how G & I were going & how "the boys" were & asked me to say hello to them. It had been years & years since we saw one another & I couldn't for the life of me remember who he was. He had the loveliest big smile & was genuinely pleased to catch up. It frustrated me like crazy not being able to remember him, & I tried so hard to explain his looks & manner to G. He had a soft, gentle voice, called me by an abbreviation not many people used.....etc & then at about 11.30 last night I remembered his name. G would never have guessed as he didn't know he rode a motorbike. G used to play 8-ball with him & our 2 sons in a team down the coast.
We know so many lovely people from our 18 years in the pub & I am going to have to come up with a way of getting their names. I might just tell the truth & say I struggle with remembering names until long afterwards. It will be embarrassing, but not remembering quite who they are is worse I think.
I'll finish this post & come back later I think. It's time to log my food meticulously & I am having a "dry" January. Going into 2024, minus 10 kg would be a very good thing!
 

2023-​

I don't want to make any rash new year resolutions that are doomed to failure. I want to be healthier at the end of 2023 than I am now. I think losing 10 kg or even 5 would make such a difference, but I really want to be 10kg lighter. I'll have to work on that. It won't happen on its own.
If I don't have any alcohol at all in January it should kick my year off in a good way. I'm not going to buy any more sweet biscuits.
I'm going to play 9 holes of golf every week & try to build up to 18. I'm so unfit. I'm going to get fit again.
I'm going to bang negative self-talk on its head. A couple of weeks ago I was heading into town telling myself off for being fat & I stopped & said "fat & fabulous", which was marginally better, but that must stop.
I'm having a visit from a friend whose partner died a few weeks ago. We knew him better than we know her. I had a couple of copies made of a photo we have of him that we had given him over 20 years ago & she's calling in to pick them up. She's not coming for lunch as she has a lap band & can eat very little.
On Tuesday I'm visiting my friend(she worked with us for years) whose husband died in November. I was going to call in to see her yesterday but she was packing to go away camping. I'm so glad that she has friends that she can go away with. I'm looking forward to catching up with her. I must make more of an effort to maintain contact with my women friends. He was only 60. Cancer sucks. They did everything together.
G has been doing lots of brush cutting & our place looks heaps better. It feels safer walking around with Archie now.
It got really humid today, but we are sitting outside drinking herbal tea & it's cooling down. MFP is set for 1670 cals(guided to lose 1/4 of a kilo a week, but not drinking will have me way under that. I'll leave it set at that though.
 
Thanks, Llama. That's sweet of you. There is absolutely no point in giving myself unrealistic expectations.
I have had a good first day of 2023. It's 7 pm & we have had dinner. I have had 1167 cals so far. I'm about to get us a fruit platter & will have a little sweet stuff. Just a little.
 
I had a rough old end of the year yesterday, but consider myself very grateful. I am grateful for just about everything really. I may have lost my reading glasses, & dented the car getting back in the garage after my return trip into town retracing my footsteps looking for them, but.....
Oh my! that does sound a bit of a rough ending, but so great you can focus on your gratitudes!

Your 2023 plan sounds great! I really like that you've been able to reintegrate golfing considering how joyful that sounds for you. I think it's so good when we can find those activities that bring us joy!

Happy Dry January!
 
Thanks, Liza. I think it's important to find perspective when things go wrong. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't, but I'm going to keep trying. I think getting back into golf will be really good for me. I might play on Wednesday with the women but leave after 9 holes. I don't really want to spend all day out there.
I ended up <1500 cals with Sunday night treats yesterday. I have also woken up with a belly ache. I am going to make more of an effort to avoid gluten. I'll have to get that through to G as he's the cook. He has been sneaking pastry in lately. My stomach will thank me.
 
Glad you had a successful first day of the year and I hope the stomach pain eases off. I hope this year goes great for you and G.
 
You wouldn't think that just 1 or 2 glasses of wine would stop you from dreaming but they do me.
Alcohol makes you sleepy but does change your sleep pattern. I think it makes you sleep less deeply? (I used to feel like I was knocked unconscious even after one or two glasses but I guess perception is subjective.) If so that could disturb your dreams.

I hope G takes your stomach pains seriously: we got through the entire holidays without issues but then my little sister got caught out by nuts in a tear&share loaf yesterday, poor thing. "Thankfully" she vomited out even the one bite she had so the reaction didn't last very long.
 
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Glad you had a successful first day of the year and I hope the stomach pain eases off. I hope this year goes great for you and G.
Thanks, Em.
Alcohol makes you sleepy but does change your sleep pattern. I think it makes you sleep less deeply? (I used to feel like I was knocked unconscious even after one or two glasses but I guess perception is subjective.) If so that could disturb your dreams.
I am sure I sleep better after some wine, although I don't think it's meant to be that way. Hopefully, my sleep will get better.
I hope G takes your stomach pains seriously: we got through the entire holidays without issues but then my little sister got caught out by nuts in a tear&share loaf yesterday, poor thing. "Thankfully" she vomited out even the one bite she had so the reaction didn't last very long.
I'll keep reminding him, Llama. I also have to be stronger.

We had a lovely visit from our friend, K. I have felt quite sad since she left. I'm sure it did her good to talk about everything, including the moment of his death. She had a good cry & I felt honoured that she would let her emotions show with us. It was very relaxed & comfortable.
Since she left we found out that a guy that drowned a couple of days ago was the son of one of our friends.
If I am not grateful for every day then I need to give myself a good talking to!
 
We had a lovely visit from our friend, K. I have felt quite sad since she left. I'm sure it did her good to talk about everything, including the moment of his death. She had a good cry & I felt honoured that she would let her emotions show with us. It was very relaxed & comfortable.
So nice that you could share some quality time with K. I also always feel so glad when people feel able to be open with their real emotions instead of trying to cover it over. Shows some real trust and connection.
Since she left we found out that a guy that drowned a couple of days ago was the son of one of our friends.
That is so hard and so sad.
And, yes, reminds us how precious all the moments we share with people are.

sending you hugs Cate:grouphug:
 
Thanks, Llama, Liza & Em :grouphug:
I was going into town to visit T today, but I don't think I feel up to it. I almost feel guilty that I am so lucky, but I am trying to concentrate on not feeling overwhelmed by death. G & I could still have another 10-20 years together or we might only have 1-2, but I must make sure we continue to enjoy what we have. I will continue to strengthen my friendships, especially with these women. It's a fact of life (death) that women live longer. K was telling me how stressful it was having to make so many decisions after he died & it has reinforced my intention of planning our funerals & keeping money aside for them. I don't want G to have that pressure & I know I don't want it for myself.
I'm going out to play 9 holes of golf tomorrow, maybe on my own, maybe with the women. I'll decide that part tomorrow & visit T. I hope she had a nice time camping.
It's our youngest grandson's 15th birthday today. His phone never has credit so I can't wish him a Happy Birthday. I love those kids. Maybe I can organise some phone credit for him for his birthday. I'll work on that.
Weight-wise no change today, sleep- terrible.
 
G & I could still have another 10-20 years together
I hope so, and it is possible!
I must make sure we continue to enjoy what we have.
Absolutely!

Death is one of the most unpredictable life events, best to be ready for it but not to worry overly much. Its out of your control.
 
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