Cate's Diary

Llama said:
What a wealth of bird visitors! So many fallen trees though. Are they all on your property?
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Yes, they are, Llama. I think it's a part & parcel of living amongst nature. We have the good & the bad. We have thousands of trees on our property. We were lucky that none came down over our driveway or our fences. Others in the district are not so lucky. Our neighbour down the bottom of the hill has had a humungous tree come down over his drive & one of his fences. He & his adult children have had to park their cars near his gate & walk a good 100 metres to their house. It will be a huge job & he'll need help. It's beyond our small chainsaw. We drove up another street up our way & there are trees down everywhere, one looking very close to a house. We really were lucky.
I have spoken to more neighbours & they seem keen on the get together in December. I'm building up a better picture of who's who in our immediate neighbourhood. I'll pop invites in letterboxes next month.
I have been feeling so out of sorts today.
I weighed myself before my shower & I am down a kilo since I started last week. I have to hang on to this & keep on going. Everything I go to wear is tight. It got me down today. I have been so grumpy.
 
I get grumpy when nothing fits me right, too. Add a spring so rainy you can't really get out much and losing a kilo is all the more impressive.
 
Sounds like quite the storm--so good that no trees came down in inconvenient or dangerous places on your property.
Is it common to get such intense storms where you are? We get occasional big wind storms where i know to stay off trails around here. Once I was on a trail and I could here the trees really stirring and I got off quick. Next day many down right where I was walking! Yikes!
Cate said:
Everything I go to wear is tight.
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Yeah I hate when that happens--although I think that is often water-weight. My clothes go through a bit of a range of fittingness throughout the month!
 
Llama said:
I get grumpy when nothing fits me right, too. Add a spring so rainy you can't really get out much and losing a kilo is all the more impressive.
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Thanks, Llama. My grumpiness was probably exacerbated by all of the wind. It was really unpleasant.
Emilyrose said:
It will be fun doing up the invites for the December gathering, Cate.
Hope the grumpiness subsides soon.
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It will, Em. I think I have been sussing everyone out to see if they are interested as much as anything so now I'll have to go ahead with it or it would embarrassing. I think I did that on purpose. I'm starting to feel negative about having a big party for my next major birthday. That's different as I will be the centre of attention. I really do not cope well with that. I 'let" G give me a party for my 40th. One only. I felt like hiding for most of the afternoon.
liza3 said:
Sounds like quite the storm--so good that no trees came down in inconvenient or dangerous places on your property.
Is it common to get such intense storms where you are? We get occasional big wind storms where i know to stay off trails around here. Once I was on a trail and I could here the trees really stirring and I got off quick. Next day many down right where I was walking! Yikes!
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Unprecedented. That's the buzzword for 2022. These winds were unprecedented. The weather has been nuts. I actually ran when I had to walk under some trees further along our street.
liza3 said:
Yeah I hate when that happens--although I think that is often water-weight. My clothes go through a bit of a range of fittingness throughout the month!
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It must be water weight I know at the moment, but I have gone up another size in the last year. My raincoats (3) are all too small. I refuse to buy a bigger size. This morning I weighed 1.5 kg more than yesterday morning. Weighing every morning does my head in so I'll stop. 2-3 days a week will do.
 
Water weight is maddening. Especially with allergies/inflammatory.
Cate said:
I'm starting to feel negative about having a big party for my next major birthday. That's different as I will be the centre of attention. I really do not cope well with that. I 'let" G give me a party for my 40th. One only. I felt like hiding for most of the afternoon.
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I'm sure it's unhealthy, psychologically, but having everyone be nice without being able to do anything in return feels awful.
 
It is maddening, Llama. I think I have a lot of inflammation at the moment & I feel all swollen up. I took an extra antihistamine today & some extra paracetamol as I have been getting sinus headaches. G felt out of sorts today too & said he didn't have a good reason to & we discussed it. He missed his golf game & I have missed a few decent walks this week, but I suggested it was mainly because our friend is dying. G agreed that it probably was. You feel useless.
I often feel out of sorts when I am trying to lose weight. I think it's a combination of all of these things for me. Tomorrow I will go into town. I have spent too much time at home. I might call in briefly at T & K's. G is going to play golf if the weather is OK & will call in on his way home. I might message her tonight.
 
Cate said:
That's different as I will be the centre of attention. I really do not cope well with that. I 'let" G give me a party for my 40th. One only. I felt like hiding for most of the afternoon.
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I can really relate to that. I don't tell people when my birthday is even so people can't even say happy birthday. I don't know why that makes me feel so self-conscious!
Cate said:
Unprecedented. That's the buzzword for 2022. These winds were unprecedented. The weather has been nuts. I actually ran when I had to walk under some trees further along our street.
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yes seems all the unprecedented things want to happen all at the same time!

Sorry to hear you're feeling out of sorts. Hope you find your ground again soon.

Cate said:
but I suggested it was mainly because our friend is dying. G agreed that it probably was. You feel useless.
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:grouphug: friends dying can bring up so much. Take care Cate.
 
Thank you, Floater, Llama & Liza :grouphug:
I get overwhelmed every now & then. I think we all want to magic ourselves to where we want to be & we know that's just not going to happen & it's a hard slog. We've been there before & we know what to do & we swore we wouldn't take a backwards step ever again, but then, here we are. We're all at different stages of course, but it sucks. I'll get over myself.
I'll get over it.jpg
I just remembered that I had this saved on my laptop. That is how I feel today.
Sometimes it's impossible to be chirpy & cheerful & positive. I'm going into town today. I need to get out & about.
Yesterday I had about 1400 cals & got plenty of steps in. I have only had wine twice since starting back- bubbles once & 1/2 a glass of red at the weekend. I'm ambivalent towards it now. I'm giving myself every chance to lose weight. Hopefully when we get some spring sunshine my mood will lift.
 
Thanks, Llama.
I am glad I went into town yesterday, even though it was raining when I left & I sure did not feel like it. Before I left I stripped the bed, did the dishes & tidied up a bit. I had to push myself out the door. I was so out of sorts & almost dropped my library books into a puddle, but caught the bag in my other hand, in time. I managed quite a few walks with Arch & many interactions with people on the street, walked along the riverbank, bought lots of fruit & veg, shopped at the wholefoods store, picked up a parcel & came home feeling tired but feeling much better.
I rang T to check that it was OK for G to call in on his way home. I'm glad I did as it didn't really fit in with nurse's visits etc. I told her we'll call in on Saturday.
Last night I felt like I was swollen up like a blimp & even my PJs were tight. My knee had been hurting while I was walking. I'm not sure what's going on really, but this morning it's gone down again.
I am going to really work on stopping my negative self-talk & will post again in the motivational sayings thread. It's good for me to do so.
 
Cate said:
I was so out of sorts & almost dropped my library books into a puddle, but caught the bag in my other hand, in time
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Nice save!
Cate said:
I managed quite a few walks with Arch & many interactions with people on the street, walked along the riverbank, bought lots of fruit & veg, shopped at the wholefoods store, picked up a parcel & came home feeling tired but feeling much better.
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Sounds like a really nice day out.

I think seeing ourselves through our hard times/down moods without resorting too much to our old habitual unhealthy patterns is such a challenge. Give yourself a pat on the back getting yourself out even when you didn't feel like it!
 
Alexistrophic said:
:grouphug:
Sending you some encouragement, Cate. Sounds like you're performing some very wonderful acts of self-care.
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Thanks, Alexis. I'm trying. I retreat into myself & I know it's much better for me to get out & about.
Llama said:
Ouch on the swelling and knee pain but yay for positive self-talk!
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Thanks, Llama. I'm really going to work on this.
liza3 said:
Nice save!
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It was a close call. I really value books & would have been horrified if they had landed in a puddle!
liza3 said:
I think seeing ourselves through our hard times/down moods without resorting too much to our old habitual unhealthy patterns is such a challenge. Give yourself a pat on the back getting yourself out even when you didn't feel like it!
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It is. I think I will make this my priority. If I can see myself as slim & healthy & happy I will get there. It does take a lot of work & on that note, I will go search for something specific to help me today. I think I will also get out of the house & go into town again. It does me good. G is playing golf & that is so good for him. It's so wet underfoot & a hard slog, but he loves it.
 
Keep that picture of yourself in the fullness of health in your mind. In fact, why not believe you have it already? How would you act if you did? That's a thought exercise I try myself sometimes.
 
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