Cate's Diary

[Marsia]

Hi Cate, I think it's great you are looking at food intake again. Can't wait until I can do that again, because I think I am eating way too many calories. I hope LaMa's suggestion of making a pillow nest helps!

 

[Cate]

Are you still icing your knee in the evening? Finding a painfree position to sleep in can be so tough: an extra pillow may help if you aren't already packed in from all sides.

I'm not, LaMa. I'll try icing it tonight. I have one of those knee pillows, but it's very firm & uncomfortable. I'll fish around for a small pillow to put between my knees today & try that tonight.

Hi Cate, I think it's great you are looking at food intake again. Can't wait until I can do that again, because I think I am eating way too many calories. I hope LaMa's suggestion of making a pillow nest helps!

I just can't seem to get back into logging again though, M. This injury is really getting me down. I had oats this morning & they fill me up well. I think I was probably ok yesterday with calories.
I rang the hospital to see if I could change my appointment & the woman I spoke to said my appointment was for my feet, not my knee. She was not slightly helpful & sounded so crabby. She gave me an appointment for the 3rd. The trouble is it was for the 3rd of December. I said I couldn't wait that long because I am in so much pain, left it on the 5th of Nov & after the call bawled my eyes out. I sent L a message later letting her know & for them to go ahead with lunch on the day & we would come along later. She sent one back saying they would wait for us, but I told her there would be no need. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. This has got to me.

 

[Emilyrose]

So sorry to hear that Cate. I hope icing it provides some relief. Hang in there!

 

[Cate]

Thanks, Em. I’m struggling. The pain just doesn’t go away.

 

[Llama]

I'm not surprised they couldn't move the appointment but there really was no need for the woman on the phone to be unpleasant to you. Being in pain sucks. And when you're in pain for longer than just a couple of days it starts to drain your serotonine (I think? I'm terrible at biochemistry), which the body doesn't just use to feel good but also needs to pinpoint where pain is coming from. So it doesn't just crush your mood through discomfort but also disrupts your brain chemistry.

 

[Marsia]

Oh, Cate, so sorry the woman on the phone was so insensitive. I can't imagine 2 health professionals in a row being jerks about your knee when it is in pain. I would go to the feet appointment and just act like the appointment is for your knee, because it really needs attention, and they should be fitting you in since you are in a great deal of pain. I would have sat down and cried, too. !

Also I think we both should go easy on ourselves about counting calories. We can just get ourselves into good habits and ease into things while in super stress mode. More hugs!!

 

[Trusylver]

Sending you hugs, I know how it feels to be in what seem like never ending pain, is the doctor public or private ?

 

[Cate]

Thanks, LaMa. Being in pain constantly sure does affect all aspects of your life. The golfing women asked me to lunch this Thursday & I declined. I feel I am not good company at all. I iced my leg last night & it did help me sleep. Thanks for the reminder
Thanks, M. The woman at the hospital probably hears all the BS & sob stories & when you're not face to face it's not easy to tell. I am definitely not going to be discussing my feet when I go in. I have done a fair bit of crying lately. I tried a walk with Arch yesterday afternoon & only just got around the house & had to come back. I thought G was off in the paddock somewhere, but he came in to find me collapsed on an outside chair, crying. It is so frustrating as well as painful. I have definitely cut down my food & am being more conscious of it.
Thanks, Tru. I see my local GP, but the ortho is in the public health system. If I don't get any answers I may have to go private & pay, but if I need surgery, which I think I will, it would cost a small fortune.

Thank you for all of the hugs. I am close to tears most of the time at the moment & kindness makes me cry. I hate feeling this way. Losing 15 kgs would take away a lot of the strain on my knees, but it feels so hard to do these days. I feel like I'm on a runaway train. I need to be able to walk again to feel better.
I did get a good night's sleep last night. I slept in our spare queen bed, which has a pillow top. I woke a few times but got back to sleep fairly quickly each time. G has gone to golf & I am without a car as his is at the mechanic's, so I am limited in where I can go. I'll try walking Arch just along our driveway, which is flat(ish).

 

[vic32]

So sad to hear that you are in such pain. Hopefully you get better soon.

 

[Cate]

Thank you, Vic. That's sweet of you xo

 

[Llama]

Glad to hear you at least got some sleep Over here it's possible to go private for a specialist visit but then get them to refer you to a public hospital for surgery. It still means a wait but usually less so. (Which is still unfair to the people who can't afford 150€ or so for a doctor's visit but very convenient for those who can...)

 

[Marsia]

Cate, so sorry you are in so much pain. I think it's barbaric you are in that much pain and can't get an emergency appointment. If you were here, I'd drive you to Mexico to where the health care is cheap and good. Could you join a gym with a pool and gently stretch and float in the pool, or would that be too much at the moment? I really hope you don't stress too much about losing weight while injured. I think it might be good to handle one thing at a time and be kind to yourself while you are in pain.

 

[Floater]

I'm so sorry that you are in pain and that you have to wait to get it checked out.

I am going to give my personal opinion/advice here, feel free to skip it if it doesn't feel right, you are the expert of your own pain! And just ask me to edit it out if it feels annoying!

I think that as in this moment you are not able to do much about the physical aspects related to the pain, it might be helpful to make your mental space as comfortable as possible. I understand very well how depressing and frustrating it is to be in pain. Once the pain gets sorted out, you can think about those 15 kg, but for now I think it is just as important and productive to find something not related to fitness or diet that you can find some joy in; whether it's a movie (if you can focus from the pain), or a hobby you enjoy, or a cup of tea and a sunset. They won't remove the pain, but clearing out mental space for little moments of relative comfort help your brain and body cope with the pain a bit better. Or at least that's my experience.

Take care. Sorry I've been lazy to comment on your thread while you are always cheering me on

 

[Cate]

Glad to hear you at least got some sleep Over here it's possible to go private for a specialist visit but then get them to refer you to a public hospital for surgery. It still means a wait but usually less so. (Which is still unfair to the people who can't afford 150€ or so for a doctor's visit but very convenient for those who can...)

Thanks, LaMa. You have helped me immensely by reminding me about icing my knee. I spent most of yesterday with gel ice pads strapped to my knee with the brace & managed to take Arch for a couple of small walks. I alternated what I did- ironing, lie down on the bed, strap up, take Arch for a walk, ice on knee, rest, reading, with ice on knee, dishes, rest, another walk, more reading etc. I iced again for most of the evening & slept fairly well.

Could you join a gym with a pool and gently stretch and float in the pool, or would that be too much at the moment?

It's funny, but I woke up after having a dream of trying to work out how to get into a local, heated indoor pool during the night, while no one else was there. Whenever I went there were three people I know well there & they had the keys. It's a crazy mixed-up dream as where the pool was in the dream is where the local fire station is & 2 of the 3 are actual friends who are volunteer firefighters. The 3rd is his SIL. Reading about Floater's hydrotherapy has had me thinking about wanting to do it. It would be so good if only I could find one that was not too heavily chlorinated. I used to go to aqua aerobics in a heated salt pool once. When classes stopped I hired the pool for an hour a week & did them on my own. It was heaven. It was at a private home & it got sold. I'm going to start searching for hydrotherapy classes today.
I just started looking at what pools are available. Our nephew & niece own a swimming centre, but G just reminded me how strong the smell of chlorine was when we visited them there once. *sigh* It was really strong & I didn't actually go near the pool!

They won't remove the pain, but clearing out mental space for little moments of relative comfort help your brain and body cope with the pain a bit better

Thanks, Floater. You're absolutely right. I need to take my mind off it somehow & do things that make me feel good. Yesterday was pretty good. I'll plan something nice for the weekend and tomorrow. Maybe a movie. I haven't been to the movies for years. I'll have a look to see what's on.... Halloween Kills, Paw Patrol, Ron's Gone Wrong, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings & The Last Duel. I will think of something. I need a distraction.

Don't worry about not being as active in other people's diaries. I spend way too much time in the forum & I wouldn't expect anyone else to do that. It's a distraction for me & can help pass the time now that I am no longer working. I treat it as a part-time job (unpaid). It has just become part of my life. Thanks for the hug

G & I are going to get some planting out done today before it rains. I think we had better hurry. It's starting to look ominously gloomy out there. We have about 10 tomato plants, which would be much happier in the ground.....

 

[Cate]

We have gardened for 2.5 hrs, me mostly in a supervisory capacity but we have planted out all the tomatoes, transplanted the poor lemon tree ( again) & I split a sage plant up into 5 & repotted them. I’m giving herbs for Christmas presents this year. Currently drinking peppermint tea with my feet up

 

[Marsia]

Oh, your afternoon sounds so nice, and I bet all the plants will love being planted and getting rained on! I hope you find a really nice salt water pool. I can't go in pools with much chlorine either. It's funny you were trying to find a pool at the fire department in your dream - the fire and water symbols are funny. It's wonderful to hear that icing your knee works so great!!

 

[liza]

Lovely to read about the gardening Not missing it yet in my Autumn but it's nice to know that somewhere gardening is going on.
Really glad you found some relief from the pain too.

 

[Llama]

If only people would stop peeing in the pool... The harsh chlorine smell doesn't come from the original chlorine but from the reaction between it and the pee present in the water.

 

[Floater]

If only people would stop peeing in the pool... The harsh chlorine smell doesn't come from the original chlorine but from the reaction between it and the pee present in the water.

eugh.

 

[Llama]

eugh

The more you know...