bluehats diary

Hey Blue, looks like you are doing better.
bluehat said:
it hurt someone i love dearly (someone else in the house)
by me going
and i cant forgive myself
Click to expand...
I doubt it was you doing the hurting. Can you reconnect and talk with the person?
bluehat said:
i was a teen alcoholic and my mother literally died of
alcohol poisoning and i see myself having more
maybe time for OA and AA and Alanon?
Click to expand...
Given your history and family history with alcohol it sounds like AA and Alanon are both good ideas. And OA can probably help with your diet and weight. Are there meetings you can get to?
 
alligatorob said:
Hey Blue, looks like you are doing better.

I doubt it was you doing the hurting. Can you reconnect and talk with the person?
Given your history and family history with alcohol it sounds like AA and Alanon are both good ideas. And OA can probably help with your diet and weight. Are there meetings you can get to?
Click to expand...

i have reconnected wit that person
but we havnt talked about it much
its extremely complicated
but someday we may

the only way i can get to the meetings is
wait til it stays light out until the meeting times
are over then i can take a bus home
still in daylight
that will be in about 3 to 4 months
because they end around 9pm so id just make it
back by bus before really dark out
 
todays food will be--
2 cups brussel sprouts fried in toasted sesame oil
1 cup choc. coconut milk
16 pork meatballs i cooked in
pasta sauce in crockpot
possibly more chco. plant milk- not sure which carton i will open
likely an almond one
2 cups wild frozen blueberries
 
not much new
not started any exercise again yet
its really too bad that the swelling happened
as i kind of was getting into a daily habit
of a little exercise anyway
and it took a long time to get to that point
now its hard to start again
especially when i dont see any benefits
just pain results
real hard to be motivated with that

foods just a huge confusion
there are way too many choices
and i dont want so much of this
or that nor needles
i can hardly wait until a pills invented
to give us all our nutrients

the foods im eating at present are
about the same as i have been
but
no binging
for a bit anyway
 
went shopping today
all i bought was a large bag
of frozen mixed fruit
and 3 bags of different frozen
veggie mixes
and a tub of frozen whip topping
plus i have a few cartons of plant
milks left and olive oil

and stored at someones place
i have 2 cans of unsalted cashews
i guess its not hard to figure out
what i will be eating for a bit
o plus i have some onions
to go with the veggies
 
Oh, cheers for veggies! :hurray: and for fruit, and a cashew or two, maybe lightly toasted and sprinkled on top of a kind of stir-fry with half an onion and a good few of the veg? Ooohhh... hope you have a great weekend cooking things up and enjoying them! :)
 
so far the only way i made the veggies was to put them in a frying pan
with olive oil and chopped onions but its ok
different from just boiled

todays food--
5 pizza slices with family
5 choc. chip cookies with family
2 cups hot choc with family
and a 20 minute walk outdoors
very cold but not too icy today


we had a planning time and ate too
im not sure if any1 remembers but
i like camping and could not go last
summer due to the surgery and
tubes
so anyway our planning was about this summers camping
it was decided to go wild camping-- its free camping on crown land
as opposed to the organized campgrounds where you pay a fee
and where we live there are bears and timber wolves and possibly cougars

so i really really hope i dont have to have another few surgeries
and tubes -- its not a once surgery treatment fix-- i already have
the condition back- but if it needs no surgery and tubes
i can just go and tolerate the kidney pain as i am now
only id be in the woods

and i have to go shopping tomorrow
but a big storms coming tonight
so i will be eating family leftovers
of cold cuts and hoping to go out the next day

and the other new thing--
i plan to go omad keto with a family member
as soon as we organize meal ideas
i did an omad day today but not keto
so looking forward to less meal planning
and less food to buy
(as i will be facing food insecurity this month again)
maybe omad will help that

so onto another day tomorrow
 
bluehat said:
so i really really hope i dont have to have another few surgeries
and tubes -- its not a once surgery treatment fix-- i already have
the condition back- but if it needs no surgery and tubes
i can just go and tolerate the kidney pain as i am now
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that :grouphug: I hope the keto OMAD works for you.
 
the scale still goes up
so im looking at what im personally doing
to cause that

i have already done the starve off the weight thing
its never worked

the very active lifestyle i had didnt work
no weight was lost ever
even when younger
not at that time

my body fights the different exercise things
ive tried in the last few years
thru pain and swelling

i havent been binging
yet it still goes up

soon i will just have to stay inside
there are 2 stores here to get
affordable clothing
and i already get the biggest

what am i doing wrong?
surely the 2 meds arent having this much effect?
they are known to cause weight gain
aside from the meds--
what am i not doing right?
even if i could just maintain

omad is the very lowest and best i can do
if nothing happens with that then what?
 
Blue- I wish I had some answers for you, but I'm afraid I don't. I can't seem to get my weight to go down either & am wondering if it's down to the meds I'm taking. Hang in there & keep trying, that's all we can do :grouphug:
 
I am not a doctor but short-term fluctuations are normal, especially if you get edema. Water is heavy. If you keep an exact food diary and count all your calories for 4 weeks and the results don't make sense after that time that's information a doctor could work with.
 
i also thought maybe following the least amount of calories ive ever
seen recommended for anyone
which is 1200

the advantage i found before
when i did omad was that 1 meal gets eaten
and its satisfying as opposed to small bits of food
frequently and always walking away hungry
i just checked the meat i have from shopping
(i had a chance to go with someone yesterday--its so hit and miss
but the weather was cleared up for a bit)
and they are 190 calories a piece
so i could eat 3 at a time or cram in all 6
i think cramming in 6 at once sounds gross
so it just might have to be 2 meals a day
in some cases anyway

i have a few easy to use apps that i can put the actual food
and calories in so tracking shud be easy

as for the veggies i just cant find a way to like them
no matter the recipe
except for stuffed peppers
but id soon tire of them
and fruit isnt worth the needle
 
Well, stuffed peppers is a start - though yeah, maybe once in two weeks would be enough! :) So...
- roasting, with a dribble of sesame oil and a sprinkle of sesame seeds? I don't know, just an idea off the top of my head.
- A hearty minestrone soup?
- I was astonished last year by how good brussels sprouts were, roasted.
- Carrots, cooked past the crunchy stage and then tossed with grated ginger a very small allowance of butter and a touch of brown sugar. That's another idea off the top of my head - I'm trying to think of things that won't sound too offensively "clean eating" - if I were dieting hard, I wouldn't have any sugar at all, but I think (only my opinion, I'm not a nutritionist!) it's worth it if it helps make vegetables appealing.

I'd better stop giving ideas "off the top of my head", because ... well, as I just said, I'm not qualified to give any nutrition advice at all. :( Anyway - best wishes for today to be a good day, and for you to get some good results, weightwise and every other wise, soon.
 
yesterdays food--
3 sausages store made

todays food--
1 sandwich store made
2 hot chocolates

went to a diabetes medical appt today
bp in the listing of at a crisis level
but they have no prescribing power
so nothing was done

i guess i need to go to a different walkin centre dr
the one i went to the last 2 times did nothing
despite very high readings

i hate to have a new med added
when the 2 im on cause weight gain as it is

im beginning to feel hopeless
something goes wrong
wherever i turn
 
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