bluehats diary

well i hate having a negative diary
but
now i cant do stepping either
my legs and feet doubled in size (swelling)
barely can bend my toes
so mad
just when i was doing something
to replace the bike due to leg pain
now my feet and legs hurt to the point
of nausea
i guess im left with just focusing
on the food for now
 
Hey Blue, you should only do what you can do safely and without a lot of pain. Resting when you have to is not a bad thing.

Focusing on the food is something you need to do. When you lose some weight I think you'll find exercise easier and less painful. Has been for me.

I believe controlling your food is more important for weight loss than the exercise, both are good, but just doing food for now should be ok for you.

I think you have started down the road now. Keep at it and we'll all appreciate reading about your progress.
 
What Rob said. And next time you try the step exercise (once your feet are all healed up!) Maybe start with just two minutes once or twice a day and build it up slowly. I hope you feel better soon :grouphug:
 
ok so now the 2 bdays are done until
later in the year
and i managed only 1 piece of cake each day
for the 2 bdays
whew

yesterdays food--
family made beef stew
bday cake

todays food--
family made green bean casserole
family made meatloaf
leftover bday cake
 
bluehat said:
yesterdays food--
family made beef stew
bday cake

todays food--
family made green bean casserole
family made meatloaf
leftover bday cake
Click to expand...

Hey Blue, all sounds good, except the cake. I have not had more than a couple of bites of cake in the last 8 months, and before this diet I bet I ate a lot more cake than you do. If I can stop I know you can. What do you say, how about a no cake pact? I'm game.
 
alligatorob said:
Hey Blue, all sounds good, except the cake. I have not had more than a couple of bites of cake in the last 8 months, and before this diet I bet I ate a lot more cake than you do. If I can stop I know you can. What do you say, how about a no cake pact? I'm game.
Click to expand...

i cant
i decided to not cut out foods
well hopefully anyway
 
pretty depressed
if i cant exercise to lose weight
then at least it may have made
me stronger my other systems stronger
seems like i only lose
and not weight either
 
Weightloss is mostly to do with what you eat. Exercising makes it easier for me to stick with my plans because it makes me feel good but if it hurts anyway it really isn´t a high priority for now!
 
still here
but depression has mostly hit hard
not only to do with not being able to exercise much
and the food issues
other issues in my life that ive been trying to
make better
ive also failed at
but i keep trying to make it better
but maybe i cant
as its likely not possible to make other ppl not be abusive
to me
i made a choice last time i moved a few years ago
to live near the mean person but only
because the nice person lives there with the mean person
and its the only way i get to see the nice person
by living near the nice person
only it subjects me to the abusive person
but im not worth enough to the nice person to see them anywhere else
unless i live near
i hope i didnt make that all confusing

and i cant help but think that these other issues
affect my eating
ive pretty much tried everything i can to get away
though
and there isnt really anyone with enough time
to listen to me
without expecting a 100 dollar an hour fee

so hopefully tomorrow is a better day

its going to be so hard to post this
as its so personal and scary what i shared
but here it goes
 
I´m so sorry things are so hard for you :grouphug: There is no way to make abusers not be abusive to their victims and that´s NOT YOUR FAULT. I hope you can get away, especially if the "nice" person isn´t nice enough to help protect you.
 
I am so sorry that you are still subjected to this abuse. It is not right or fair & it is definitely not your fault. Like LaMa I hope that you are able to move away. This does not sound like a supportive friendship at all. :grouphug:
 
i think the nice person has been a victim of the mean person
and maybe wont believe that the person would have hurt them
or me
but i still dont understand why i have to live close to
see her


im trying to get another place to live as there are mould issues
and no windows for air or any coolness
but by abiding by the tenant rules im up against the ppl who
dont and for whatever reason (likely loss of money)
the landlords will rent to them so i dont get the apts as i
want to follow the law (to give the required 2 months notice
to vacate) so when the ppl who dont that makes apts for rent
right now not leaving me time to give my own notice
be4 the apts are gone
im on a wait list for affordable apts but its long and been 5 years waiting
so far
soooo looking like i wont get away from that mean person either
anytime soon

todays food--
4 cups apple cinnamon cheerios
1 choc bar
1 can wine cooler
10 meatballs i made in pasta sauce in my crockpot
1 store made sandwich

no exercise yet
afraid to start in case swelling goes up
as the pain level has improved alot

so thats a nice thing that happened
 
yesterdays food--
1.5 cups canned green peas
3 tablespoons peanut butter
3 cups chocolate almond milk

todays food--
2 dq cheeseburgers
2 dq chocolate shakes
1 dq chocolate sundae
 
I'm really sorry you're in that dilemma, with the two people living nearby, and difficulties in the way of finding somewhere else to live. Is there any other nice person in your life, even if they don't live close?

I just read back a bit - and well done on how you negotiated the birthdays, with just one slice of cake each time. Today - I guess it was a bit of a feeling down day? Today's food looks a bit that way. :( Hugs, and I hope you can manage to get back to more home-cooked healthy food tomorrow!
 
todays food--
8 ounces cut up steak cooked in pasta sauce in crockpot
200 grams sour cream n onion potato chips
4 cups chocolate almond milk
1 coffee with 3 creams 2 sugars

went shopping
not sure whats going to happen
to the food i bought

i bought 2-800 gram tubs chickpea salad
4 cans 225 grams unsalted cashews
2 -375 grams pks of pepperettes
2-280 gram real cheese slices
3-946ml chocolate coconut milk
plus i have some chocolate almond milk left

no clue how to spread that out
not sure when shopping next
depends on weather and other things
 
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