bluehats diary

hi
as for my food
still struggling
to find a way of eating
that i can live with
ive likely had or heard
or read every suggestion
that exists
i looked around again
for eating help
and found one that requires
a form to be filled out by a dr
take a guess?
can i get in?
nope
i dont have a dr and the
walkins dont fill out forms
i will try the er in sept
when im more feeling able
to wait the 8+ hour
wait
to see a dr there maybe?
right now its extremely uncomfortable to sit for
long periods of time
so maybe theres hope at some point in my life

its just unfortuneate that things are set up in such a way
that only certain ppl have easy access to help
but if im meant to get it
it will happen

the food ive been eating has been hit and miss
today im hoping to put some meatballs
in my crockpot
in a pasta sauce
i hope they freaking taste better
than my last attempt at them
lol
 
PLB said:
I'm sorry to hear the move didn't work out for you...
Click to expand...


i do have another move on the works
ive been on a list for 6 years
and i heard from them recently
they are saying
i shud get something by end of summer
im so excited

the place im in now has no windows
in a basement in an apt building
and the mold is awful
i was keeping up with it
but now the bending
is forbidden
but it smells so i tried bending
a few days ago to clean some
it helped the smell
but im paying dearly for it
hurts everywhere now in my body
of course part of it is my size
not just the surgery stuff
ya so its gonna wait til sept i guess
and with the no air
circulation its like an oven in the summer
no window for a/c

i really hope i get to move soon like they said
but 1 thing
i will need to get to that cycle asap as there
are 4 floors no elevator
ive got to be able to do some stairs
but still good news
 
I really hope that you get to move into a nicer, more suitable place. I'll keep my fingers & toes crossed for you, xoxo
 
dear diary
not what i want
but this may be my last post
some other expenses trump the
50 + i spend on internet

so an update anyway

still struggling with the food issues
at this rate likely it will be an ongoing thing

for exercise
i get the surgery on friday
and the tube out i was told 2 weeks later
so i will begin my indoor bike again then


thankyou to all who helped me
 
I hope the surgery goes well & that your life improves. I will make a suggestion that may help with feeling that you do not lose touch. It's also good therapy. Keep a physical diary of your day. One day you may want to read back on it & see how far you have progressed. If you feel like it, you can come back in here & let us know how you are going. All the best bluehat :grouphug:
 
hi
thankyou for all the well wishes
i wanted to send one last update before my nets gone

i got the surgery
and the tube time was extended to stay in for 3 weeks
now instead of the 2
so another delay be4 i can get on my bike
man i hope i can find it
its been so long not using it
lol
as for eating--
still struggling
but i did find 1 addictions support group
and 1 recovery support group
and even better yet--
maybe some counselling in oct
as for the move--
a new option came up that i never
even thought about
so maybe just maybe things might be looking up
and maybe after the move in a few months
i can get back on the net
:):)
 
Thank you for letting us know how you are. You sound hopeful for the future & that is nice. Time to rest, eat well & get healthy. Please don't rush into anything vigorous. Nurture yourself. Fingers crossed for counselling & a move into a better living situation & a better life. Sending you lots of love & best wishes, xoxo Cate
 
hi
surgeries done and the painful tubes out
im so grateful because now i get to go out
and no pain now
im back on my bike and am not having leg pain
like in the past and im thankful for that too
im up to 15 minutes a day but take 1 day off
each week
my eating still isnt so great but i dont have
as large of binges now so thats better
i go to a weekly addictions group
they said food is an addiction when i expressed my concern
aloud that i wasnt sure if food counted as an addiction
plus shortly i get to go to a 20 week group just for binge eaters
i didnt get to move to a better place to live yet but am still working
on that
so i think things are better now a bit

todays food was--
1 pound of bacon fried
3 sandwiches
not happy about all that but i take the blame
because i bought so many sandwiches
i knew better but i told myself i would only eat 1 today
and failed

todays exercise--
15 mins. on bike

and i managed to get all 12 cups water in plus an extra cup
very happy about that
 
yesterdays food--

600 grams potato chips

12 + cups water
1 pumpkin coffee
4 granola bars

15 mins. on bike
 
food today--

2 sausage patties
2 fried eggs
4 cups raw green beans
4 tbsp mighty ceasar renees dressing
2 slices processed cheese

6 cups water


my 1 day a week off cycling today
 
LaMaria said:
Can I ask why you ate the green beans raw? I'd likely have an upset stomach after only one cup.
Click to expand...

i had my beans raw because im trying to increase
my raw veggie consumption
as opposed to all cooked veggies
 
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