- Thanks Cate. He would be lost without her. So would I. She's the 'glue'.
- Thanks Marsia. I'm indulging again tonight and then I really have to put a stop to this. I want August to be a really healthy month. I'm wearing myself out.
- Thanks Liza.
Exercise: A 3-hour tennis session in the beautiful sunshine. It was great.
Food:
Breakfast: banana; cappuccino
Mid-morning: lucozade sport; coffee and milk; small scone with butter
Lunch: chicken salad with sun-dried tomatoes, mixed leaves, goat's cheese, grated cheese, relish, pesto, mayo and 1 slice bread with butter. The place I got it in has a really high rating on TripAdvisor but I wasn't that impressed, to be honest. The cakes look better; apple juice
Mid-afternoon: The rest of the mango juice from yesterday
Evening: galaxy caramel bar 48 g; oat milk cappuccino (really nice! From a machine in the shop, a new thing for me)
Night: white wine 13%
Weight: 171.8; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.2
Cigs TBD.
Emily Rose is tired and talking about herself in the third person. I'm very fed up with things. Tennis was a bright point in the day, I have to say. But everything else is just a bit difficult right now.
I rang Mum this morning on the way to tennis, she sounded weak. I was worried. I went to visit her this evening. She's okay but a standard hip operation has morphed into a really big second operation where she needed two units of blood and they found two fractures in her leg! I just don't understand how this has happened. This means she won't be able to put weight on that leg for six weeks and will be on a zimmerframe instead of crutches for the next while. It's a huge setback. I'm worried. We nearly had her back and then this had to happen. It's exhausting trying to stay positive and keep reinforcing the fact that this is the 'last thing', when we all know she has a long road to recovery ahead of her. She does have a very handsome male nurse though so that helped tonight. Haha. A really polite man.
Anyway, yeah, I'm just over the world and how shitty it can be at the moment. My mum really did not need this to happen to her. I really hope she can hang in there. My heart has been broken leaving her the last few nights, as she stays looking out the door until she can't see me anymore.
![Frown :( :(](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
I guess I know she really does love me, even though when she was in her manic state, it seemed like she regretted ever getting married and having me. At least I know that isn't true. But yeah, it's tough like. She should have been home yesterday.
Anyway, I can spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself, and sometimes I feel that is what I have done, but I've also done a lot of cool things and had good times in between, and I guess I just have to cling to those moments and this too shall pass.