Emily Rose: The Reboot
- Thread starter Emilyrose
- Start date
- Thank you Cate. x
- Thanks for the giant hugs Marsia.
- I hope so Liza.
I smoked 20 cigarettes yesterday and had an additional two large whiskeys with lucozade sport last night. I am really suffering for my poor life choices today. Feel like crap.
Exercise: An hour of singles but it wasn't really an hour as we spent a lot of it talking.
Food:
Breakfast: one of those activ gel things that you are meant to use for marathon running; revive active and spatone iron supplement; the rest of the lucozade sport
Mid-morning: coffee and milk; slice of toast and butter; 1 digestive biscuit
Lunch: huge ham and chicken club sandwich; reese's peanut butter cups 42 g; some mango fruit juice
Mid-afternoon: tea and milk
Evening: pack of relish crisps; can of 7up
Night: 9 inch ham and pineapple pizza; garlic dip; chips (but I didn't eat too many of them)
Weight: 170.4; BF 39.2%; BMI 26
Cigs 13.
Mum's surgery was in the afternoon and I suspect was complicated enough. The surgeon rang my dad around half an hour ago to say she'll be leaving recovery in the next couple of hours and that she's doing well. He also went into all the technical details of what they had to do but my dad couldn't remember any of it. Anyway, what does it matter? She's fine! I'm so happy. Dad was saying he was crying this evening wondering what he would do if she didn't come home.
But anyway, it looks like she will be coming home soon. I can't wait to see her tomorrow and bolster her up. She's a hero.
- Thanks for the giant hugs Marsia.
- I hope so Liza.
I smoked 20 cigarettes yesterday and had an additional two large whiskeys with lucozade sport last night. I am really suffering for my poor life choices today. Feel like crap.
Exercise: An hour of singles but it wasn't really an hour as we spent a lot of it talking.
Food:
Breakfast: one of those activ gel things that you are meant to use for marathon running; revive active and spatone iron supplement; the rest of the lucozade sport
Mid-morning: coffee and milk; slice of toast and butter; 1 digestive biscuit
Lunch: huge ham and chicken club sandwich; reese's peanut butter cups 42 g; some mango fruit juice
Mid-afternoon: tea and milk
Evening: pack of relish crisps; can of 7up
Night: 9 inch ham and pineapple pizza; garlic dip; chips (but I didn't eat too many of them)
Weight: 170.4; BF 39.2%; BMI 26
Cigs 13.
Mum's surgery was in the afternoon and I suspect was complicated enough. The surgeon rang my dad around half an hour ago to say she'll be leaving recovery in the next couple of hours and that she's doing well. He also went into all the technical details of what they had to do but my dad couldn't remember any of it. Anyway, what does it matter? She's fine! I'm so happy. Dad was saying he was crying this evening wondering what he would do if she didn't come home.
But anyway, it looks like she will be coming home soon. I can't wait to see her tomorrow and bolster her up. She's a hero.
Cate
Long term member
Oh, Em. Your poor Dad 
I don't know if I worry more about how my life would be without G or how his life would be without me. I think he would cope better.
I'm glad you will be there to help bolster your Mum's & your Dad's spirits. We need our "kids" more than we ever let on xoxo
I don't know if I worry more about how my life would be without G or how his life would be without me. I think he would cope better. I'm glad you will be there to help bolster your Mum's & your Dad's spirits. We need our "kids" more than we ever let on xoxo
- Thanks Cate. He would be lost without her. So would I. She's the 'glue'.
- Thanks Marsia. I'm indulging again tonight and then I really have to put a stop to this. I want August to be a really healthy month. I'm wearing myself out.
- Thanks Liza.
Exercise: A 3-hour tennis session in the beautiful sunshine. It was great.
Food:
Breakfast: banana; cappuccino
Mid-morning: lucozade sport; coffee and milk; small scone with butter
Lunch: chicken salad with sun-dried tomatoes, mixed leaves, goat's cheese, grated cheese, relish, pesto, mayo and 1 slice bread with butter. The place I got it in has a really high rating on TripAdvisor but I wasn't that impressed, to be honest. The cakes look better; apple juice
Mid-afternoon: The rest of the mango juice from yesterday
Evening: galaxy caramel bar 48 g; oat milk cappuccino (really nice! From a machine in the shop, a new thing for me)
Night: white wine 13%
Weight: 171.8; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.2
Cigs TBD.
Emily Rose is tired and talking about herself in the third person. I'm very fed up with things. Tennis was a bright point in the day, I have to say. But everything else is just a bit difficult right now.
I rang Mum this morning on the way to tennis, she sounded weak. I was worried. I went to visit her this evening. She's okay but a standard hip operation has morphed into a really big second operation where she needed two units of blood and they found two fractures in her leg! I just don't understand how this has happened. This means she won't be able to put weight on that leg for six weeks and will be on a zimmerframe instead of crutches for the next while. It's a huge setback. I'm worried. We nearly had her back and then this had to happen. It's exhausting trying to stay positive and keep reinforcing the fact that this is the 'last thing', when we all know she has a long road to recovery ahead of her. She does have a very handsome male nurse though so that helped tonight. Haha. A really polite man.
Anyway, yeah, I'm just over the world and how shitty it can be at the moment. My mum really did not need this to happen to her. I really hope she can hang in there. My heart has been broken leaving her the last few nights, as she stays looking out the door until she can't see me anymore. I guess I know she really does love me, even though when she was in her manic state, it seemed like she regretted ever getting married and having me. At least I know that isn't true. But yeah, it's tough like. She should have been home yesterday.
Anyway, I can spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself, and sometimes I feel that is what I have done, but I've also done a lot of cool things and had good times in between, and I guess I just have to cling to those moments and this too shall pass.
- Thanks Marsia. I'm indulging again tonight and then I really have to put a stop to this. I want August to be a really healthy month. I'm wearing myself out.
- Thanks Liza.
Exercise: A 3-hour tennis session in the beautiful sunshine. It was great.
Food:
Breakfast: banana; cappuccino
Mid-morning: lucozade sport; coffee and milk; small scone with butter
Lunch: chicken salad with sun-dried tomatoes, mixed leaves, goat's cheese, grated cheese, relish, pesto, mayo and 1 slice bread with butter. The place I got it in has a really high rating on TripAdvisor but I wasn't that impressed, to be honest. The cakes look better; apple juice
Mid-afternoon: The rest of the mango juice from yesterday
Evening: galaxy caramel bar 48 g; oat milk cappuccino (really nice! From a machine in the shop, a new thing for me)
Night: white wine 13%
Weight: 171.8; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.2
Cigs TBD.
Emily Rose is tired and talking about herself in the third person. I'm very fed up with things. Tennis was a bright point in the day, I have to say. But everything else is just a bit difficult right now.
I rang Mum this morning on the way to tennis, she sounded weak. I was worried. I went to visit her this evening. She's okay but a standard hip operation has morphed into a really big second operation where she needed two units of blood and they found two fractures in her leg! I just don't understand how this has happened. This means she won't be able to put weight on that leg for six weeks and will be on a zimmerframe instead of crutches for the next while. It's a huge setback. I'm worried. We nearly had her back and then this had to happen. It's exhausting trying to stay positive and keep reinforcing the fact that this is the 'last thing', when we all know she has a long road to recovery ahead of her. She does have a very handsome male nurse though so that helped tonight. Haha. A really polite man.
Anyway, yeah, I'm just over the world and how shitty it can be at the moment. My mum really did not need this to happen to her. I really hope she can hang in there. My heart has been broken leaving her the last few nights, as she stays looking out the door until she can't see me anymore.
I guess I know she really does love me, even though when she was in her manic state, it seemed like she regretted ever getting married and having me. At least I know that isn't true. But yeah, it's tough like. She should have been home yesterday.Anyway, I can spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself, and sometimes I feel that is what I have done, but I've also done a lot of cool things and had good times in between, and I guess I just have to cling to those moments and this too shall pass.
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Cate
Long term member
Em, this is a setback for your Mum, but she'll recover. You have your loving Mum back, Em. Be positive for her if you can. You can help her with recovery & cheer her up. Has she had a bone scan for osteoporosis? I'm having one when the bus is in our local town next. My Mum had it and my younger sister has the precursor to it, but, in this respect, I'm grateful I have my Dad's build.
Yay for tennis once again!
Edited at 2.40 pm on Sunday- & Yay for handsome male nurses
Yay for tennis once again!
Edited at 2.40 pm on Sunday- & Yay for handsome male nurses
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Sorry to hear about the continued worry and stress Emily and such a big setback. I'm glad the handsome male nurse was able to cheer you up a little! I think your mom knowing just how much you and your dad love her and need her will be the thing that keeps her going and help to make the recovery go as well as possible.
Very lovely to hear you had a good tennis session--be sure to keep those positives going in your life!
Very lovely to hear you had a good tennis session--be sure to keep those positives going in your life!
My daughter has a Gullah friend who told us that we should really embrace when things are good because they are only good about 60% of the time, so we need to fortify for when times are tough. I think that's largely true. I also think my mom had manic depression, and she said things to me like that when she found out she was pregnant with me, she told my dad she'd rather have a dog. The person you love is not the person you always get when there are mood swings involved, and that's so hard when it's your parent. But I think you can't go wrong holding tight to how much you love her and how much she loves you in her heart. The rest will sort itself out, I think. I hope you can keep up with the tennis and walks by the sea and other things that bring you joy while you are going through so much stress!
- Haha, thanks Cate. She doesn't have osteoporosis, she's fine that way. We don't really know what happened - I suspect the fall is what caused the breaks.
- Thanks Liza, I will.
- Thanks Marsia. It is very difficult when the person who is meant to love you most in the world says cruel things like that. I do think being a mother is a huge undertaking though. I forgive her.
Exercise: None. Probably none tomorrow either but I hope to get back on track later in the week. Hospital visits are taking up exercise time. Which is fine.
Food:
Breakfast: 2 slices toast with sun-dried tomatoes, cheese and butter
Mid-morning: can of aqua libra blood orange and mango (so refreshing); glass of carrot juice; milk from carton throughout the day
Lunch: oat milk cappuccino (new obsession!); banana; freddo chocolate bar
Mid-afternoon: tuna and sweetcorn sandwich
Evening: 5 pints Birra Moretti; 3 steak tacos with rice
Some more drinks were had but I was out with friends and started at about 5pm so I shouldn't be too bad tomorrow. I had an additional two large whiskeys with orange juice after the wine last night. Cigarettes were 20. I really want to put a ban on drinking alone, as it's fucking stupid. So that ban is in place from now on. But yeah, I had a fantastic evening. The steak tacos I had out with my friend were lovely. He really enjoyed the night too and it was great to catch up with him.
Weight: 169.8; BF 39.1%; BMI 25.8
Cigs TBD.
- Thanks Liza, I will.
- Thanks Marsia. It is very difficult when the person who is meant to love you most in the world says cruel things like that. I do think being a mother is a huge undertaking though. I forgive her.
Exercise: None. Probably none tomorrow either but I hope to get back on track later in the week. Hospital visits are taking up exercise time. Which is fine.
Food:
Breakfast: 2 slices toast with sun-dried tomatoes, cheese and butter
Mid-morning: can of aqua libra blood orange and mango (so refreshing); glass of carrot juice; milk from carton throughout the day
Lunch: oat milk cappuccino (new obsession!); banana; freddo chocolate bar
Mid-afternoon: tuna and sweetcorn sandwich
Evening: 5 pints Birra Moretti; 3 steak tacos with rice
Some more drinks were had but I was out with friends and started at about 5pm so I shouldn't be too bad tomorrow. I had an additional two large whiskeys with orange juice after the wine last night. Cigarettes were 20. I really want to put a ban on drinking alone, as it's fucking stupid. So that ban is in place from now on. But yeah, I had a fantastic evening. The steak tacos I had out with my friend were lovely. He really enjoyed the night too and it was great to catch up with him.
Weight: 169.8; BF 39.1%; BMI 25.8
Cigs TBD.
Cate
Long term member
I'm glad your Mum doesn't have osteoporosis, Em. At this time in my life, I should be happy my legs are more like oak trees than willows. I sometimes look at really skinny people's legs & think they could easily snap. I know that's a weird thought 
How long do they think your Mum will be in hospital?
How long do they think your Mum will be in hospital?
- Hi Cate. We don't know yet. Hopefully home by Friday.
- Hi Liza. It was a super night, one of the best I've had in ages. Just super-good vibes all round.
Exercise: None but I need to do something soon.
Food:
Breakfast: nutrigrain chocolate bar; can of club orange
Mid-morning: 2 coffees and milk
Lunch: egg salad sandwich; jam and cream doughnut
Mid-afternoon: tea and milk
Evening: cheeseburger, garlic and cheese chips and a sprite
I'm a bit lethargic and low today. I visited Mum but I didn't have the energy for it really. She's fine though, making improvements every day, so that awful worried feeling has dissipated. I can't wait to go to sleep though. It's been very draining.
Weight: 172.5; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.3
I must watch this a little bit.
Cigs yesterday were 17. 11 today.
- Hi Liza. It was a super night, one of the best I've had in ages. Just super-good vibes all round.
Exercise: None but I need to do something soon.
Food:
Breakfast: nutrigrain chocolate bar; can of club orange
Mid-morning: 2 coffees and milk
Lunch: egg salad sandwich; jam and cream doughnut
Mid-afternoon: tea and milk
Evening: cheeseburger, garlic and cheese chips and a sprite
I'm a bit lethargic and low today. I visited Mum but I didn't have the energy for it really. She's fine though, making improvements every day, so that awful worried feeling has dissipated. I can't wait to go to sleep though. It's been very draining.
Weight: 172.5; BF 39.2%; BMI 26.3
I must watch this a little bit.
Cigs yesterday were 17. 11 today.
for Friday xoYou definitely deserve all the sleeps! I have a whole family who wasn't good with kids, so I've come to see that they loved me as best they could, and I try not to take it personally. I do think it affects self esteem though, so know that I need to boost up mine myself. It's hard and messy being a human! Glad you had a nice night out with friends, and I hope your mom heals up quickly. So great she's making a lot of progress already!
- Thanks Cate. Yeah, Friday doesn't seem so possible now.
- Thanks MsBubbles, I appreciate the kind words.
- Thanks Marsia. I think self-esteem is something we all have to work on, no matter what our upbringing.
- To be honest, the exercise has dropped because I have to go to the hospital every day Liza and I don't have the energy to try to squeeze it in. But thanks.
Exercise: -
Food:
Breakfast: porridge with raisins, pumpkin seeds and milk; carrot juice
Mid-morning: 2 decaf coffees and milk; kiwi
Lunch: shop-bought cajun chicken salad with quinoa, kale, spinach, carrot, white cabbage, hummus and miso dressing
Mid-afternoon: 110 g dairy milk
Evening: taco with french fries, chicken, lettuce, tomato, cheese and garlic sauce; can of coke
Night: 10.5% bottle of white wine
I'm in really, really bad form. Mum's blood levels are off so they think she might have an infection. I'm really sad. She seems okay though but this is bad news as regards her recovery and getting her home. So fucking fed up.
Weight: 173; BF 39.4%; BMI 26.4
I tried to eat better today but it got worse as the day has progressed.
Cigs TBD.
- Thanks MsBubbles, I appreciate the kind words.
- Thanks Marsia. I think self-esteem is something we all have to work on, no matter what our upbringing.
- To be honest, the exercise has dropped because I have to go to the hospital every day Liza and I don't have the energy to try to squeeze it in. But thanks.
Exercise: -
Food:
Breakfast: porridge with raisins, pumpkin seeds and milk; carrot juice
Mid-morning: 2 decaf coffees and milk; kiwi
Lunch: shop-bought cajun chicken salad with quinoa, kale, spinach, carrot, white cabbage, hummus and miso dressing
Mid-afternoon: 110 g dairy milk
Evening: taco with french fries, chicken, lettuce, tomato, cheese and garlic sauce; can of coke
Night: 10.5% bottle of white wine
I'm in really, really bad form. Mum's blood levels are off so they think she might have an infection. I'm really sad. She seems okay though but this is bad news as regards her recovery and getting her home. So fucking fed up.
Weight: 173; BF 39.4%; BMI 26.4
I tried to eat better today but it got worse as the day has progressed.
Cigs TBD.