Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

alligatorob said:
You shouldn't. It sounds like at least you now know what you have to start doing. That's progress!

Hang in there, you can beat this!
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Thanks so much Rob. Yes this year has been a bit of a breakthrough in terms of identifying what is going wrong, it seems one system is setting off another, they're all interconnected. But with the right medication and diet plan, I will be OK. It's just going to take some time and trial and error and I have been hanging in there for 2.5 years anyways, what's an extra year of healing.

I've also opened up to medication and the side effects - some discomfort for a better quality of life is OK. I cannot be on some of these drugs forever as I age and hormones change and they may impact the liver - but will cross that bridge when I get there.

The BCP is causing some digestive discomfort and acid reflux, and I just need to take in even more fibre.

I am going to take this day by day.

Thank you Cate and Rob for listening to my journey and being so supportive, I truly appreciate your time and support and patience in listening to a girl that, at times, may sound crazy. It has been - and continues to be - quite the health saga but I'm hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.
 
misty22 said:
listening to a girl that, at times, may sound crazy
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Don't we all.
 
misty22 said:
Thank you Cate and Rob for listening to my journey and being so supportive, I truly appreciate your time and support and patience in listening to a girl that, at times, may sound crazy. It has been - and continues to be - quite the health saga but I'm hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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I will always hope for that for you, Misty. I still am amazed at your resilience & determination to get to the bottom of your health issues. I used to think my motto was never give up, but I think it's yours too!
 
Well my doctor is sick so I cannot see her tomorrow. I had to make back-up plans. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

I am still going in for my gardasil shot.

And I booked an appointment with my endocrinologist on Mon instead.

Also having bad acid reflux - going in to the birth control tomorrow.

I want to believe things will get better.
 
So my BCP is not causing my digestive issues - my low stomach acid and gut bacteria is - I am on a diet and supplement protocol. I informed my family doctor and she is doing her own testing. Symptoms are not fun but I've read online that at minimum the supplements seem to calm down symptoms in a week or two and then the full course is 30 - 60 days.

My endocrinologist bailed on me today - I went in to see him and he cancelled on me due to an "emergency" - which is strange because I literally called the doctors office 15 mins before I arrived telling them I would be there and booked the appointment last week. The way the lady at the front desk was talking to me was weird, like she was hiding something, because it seemed like the "emergency" was known about for a while. Anyways, that office and endo do not have great bedside manner. It takes months to be referred to another one but I will ask Dr. Ross for a referral to a female endocrinologist in the city if possible. I find my endo...doesn't quite seem to be as understanding of being a woman sometimes and my hormonal issue is very much a female reproductive system one. Anyways, I have rescheduled for next Friday, Feb 7th.

My family doctor is very hesitant to prescribe me spironolactone - I think the issue is both my doctor and my endocrinologist (who seems to take more diabetic patients than PCOS patients) are not super well-versed in it. I will ask my endocrinoloist if I can trial the drug for a few months. If he says no, I am planning on finding another endo anyways. Also, luckily the women's hospital will take my case but I will not be seeing them till May 5th. They have a clinic that specializes in PCOS and I have been on the waitlist for a year. An entire year - can you believe it?

Thyroid testing - doing this this week as well. BCP can throw off thyroid.

I feel like a crazy person. With so much broken .... reproductive system, hormones, gut, adrenals, thyroid....I wonder what the purpose of my existence is ....it could be so much worse, I do acknowledge that ....but this has been a lot to deal with and some days it's mental breakdown after mental breakdown hour by hour and everyday it's tons of self-talk saying, do the best you can. But truly, on the inside, I feel exhausted and I would like to do things normal people do. I want to be normal. I want this madness to end.

I am hoping fixing the gut is the key and will make everything else fall into place.
 
You are not a crazy person though, Misty & you will get to the bottom of all this. One day you will feel normal. It has been an issue for you for such a long time. May 5th will come around much quicker than you think. I'm glad you can get into the women's hospital, with its specialist clinic. Hang in there sweets xoxo
 
misty22 said:
I feel like a crazy person
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Cate is right, no matter what else may be wrong, you are not crazy, but I can understand why you might feel that way sometimes. To me you appear rationale and working on your problems as reasonably as you can. I don't pretend to know enough about medicine to understand any of your health problems, but I know a smart non-crazy person when I see one, that's you.

Hang in there, this will pass, you will figure it out.
 
Turns out I'm not crazy ----- my MRI scan came back - the one I was almost not about to do. Pituitary tumour. I had a good cry in the washroom and now I am going to do everything in my power to get this resolved. It's going to take even more strength, more tests and more time. More tears. But I will be ok.
 
Cate said:
You are not a crazy person though, Misty & you will get to the bottom of all this. One day you will feel normal. It has been an issue for you for such a long time. May 5th will come around much quicker than you think. I'm glad you can get into the women's hospital, with its specialist clinic. Hang in there sweets xoxo
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Thank you so so so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
alligatorob said:
Cate is right, no matter what else may be wrong, you are not crazy, but I can understand why you might feel that way sometimes. To me you appear rationale and working on your problems as reasonably as you can. I don't pretend to know enough about medicine to understand any of your health problems, but I know a smart non-crazy person when I see one, that's you.

Hang in there, this will pass, you will figure it out.
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Rob, thank you. Now we go on a journey to resolve my pituitary tumour. Thanks for being here for me. Wish we could meet in person so I can give you a big hug.
 
If it wasn't for you being so determined to get to the bottom of this who knows how long it would have taken to find out about the tumour! Oh, honey, I am sending you a great big squishy hug xoxoxo
 
Cate said:
If it wasn't for you being so determined to get to the bottom of this who knows how long it would have taken to find out about the tumour! Oh, honey, I am sending you a great big squishy hug xoxoxo
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HUGGGGG xoxo
 
I cried on and off. I have eaten junk food for the most part today. I feel a little lost.

I feel lost because the doctors I have been dealing with failed me and it feels like I need to find a solution for myself. My family doctor left me a voicemail that said, "don't worry" and that she will call me tomorrow. Only, I am worried. I am worried they will fail me again. I am worried that I will need to pursue more qualified practitioners and that will take months.

At the same time, I am exhausted, physically and mentally and I will need to fight this battle one day at a time.

Surgery can have complications if something goes wrong b/c the pituitary is near the brain....but I want to see what the doctors say.
 
misty22 said:
Surgery can have complications if something goes wrong b/c the pituitary is near the brain....but I want to see what the doctors say.
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That does sound a bit scary, hope you have good doctors you can trust.
misty22 said:
I have eaten junk food for the most part today. I feel a little lost.
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You know you can do better than that, what you eat is one thing you can control right now. It will make you feel at least a little better.
misty22 said:
Wish we could meet in person so I can give you a big hug.
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That would be nice, but for now an ehug is fine!

Hang in there Misty, you are doing this!
 
I spoke to my family doctor yesterday and she said my tumour is not causing my symptoms - which I feel, is incorrect. I asked her to refer me to a pituitary endocrinologist, which will take a few months to see. I see my regular endo on Monday.

My energy levels are very low - it is interfering with work and life. I feel like I am dying. I need them to believe me when I say something is off.
 
Honey, you need to concentrate on what you can do that makes you feel better for now. Eat really healthily, some gentle exercise, some reading maybe. A general practitioner, while knowledgeable on many illnesses can't know everything. It will be interesting to hear what your normal endo says. Sending you a hug for now :grouphug:
 
Cate said:
Honey, you need to concentrate on what you can do that makes you feel better for now. Eat really healthily, some gentle exercise, some reading maybe. A general practitioner, while knowledgeable on many illnesses can't know everything. It will be interesting to hear what your normal endo says. Sending you a hug for now :grouphug:
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Thanks so much, Cate! Yes, I am telling myself that I just need to live a "regular" life as much as I can & focus on what I can do. I have been feeling more fatigued than usual and the hair loss has picked up a but but it could also be because I am working through my gut bug and the protocol I am on had me taking a number of supplements. I hope it is that.

Monday will be interesting but in all likelihood he will tell me to run a bunch of blood tests. Which I am OK to do. I just need to go in prepared asking him for everything. Half this battle is asking the doctors and pushing them to do

I also feel I don't have a strong roster. My current family doctor is literally right out of med school. And my endocrinologist is very young too. So this will be the work I also have to do of upping up the experience in my group.
 
I talked to my endo and he said my tumour is small and we can monitor it on an annual basis. He does not think it is messing with my hormones. I am waiting on a second opinion as well. Doesn't think it's connected to my hair loss or my pcos.

It has been a roller coaster week/ very draining emotionally.

I have started naturally treating my h pylori until the doctors/labs verify the stomach bug. I feel a bit better today but I know it is not gone.

I'm going to start getting back to healthy eating and walking more. My weight has increased a bit due to junk food eating (because I had a bad week when I found out about the tumour) as well as lack of exercise.

CW: 111.4
 
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