Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

I looked into stress leave - it's decent. I may request WFH instead, insurance would have to OK me for this. I'll think about this over next week.

Remaining testing:
  • Sent in my GI MAP and HTMA test - should get results by first or second week of Feb
  • Feb 13th - reviewing Dutch test results and will need ask for another round of thyroid testing
  • Feb 17th - MRIs
All this testing is very comprehensive and I am pretty much done my part unless someone suggests something else. But I feel we will get a good idea of what is going on based on all this.

I am continuing with no coffee, my leaky gut protocol and my iron supplementation otherwise, in addition to the BCP and low thyroid meds.

CW: 109.6lbs
 
misty22 said:
All this testing is very comprehensive and I am pretty much done my part unless someone suggests something else. But I feel we will get a good idea of what is going on based on all this.
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I sure hope so xo
 
Okay so I just realized that I need a CT scan and not so much an MRI scan of the adrenals and for that I definitely need a doctor's script. So....Monday morning will be fun.
 
I'm beginning to understand my PCOS better - I believe I have adrenal PCOS, which is not as well understood and hard to get under control with diet, and so this makes sense why my adrenal markers are high and why a 30lb weight loss has not moved the needle. I will find out more from my naturopath tonight.

My DHEA-S and androstenedione markers are always on the upper limit - the DHEA-S has steadily crept up. Apparently RT3 which is high for me can also be caused by stress - which makes sense with my adrenal markers. So things are slowly beginning to make sense. The question is, why are my adrenals pumping out so much stress hormones?

In addition to genetics, there may be a few things adding to my flare up:
  • Leaky Gut - which I will know in a few weeks. It will be challenging fixing this on the pill.
  • Possible tumour - which the MRIs/CT will hopefully rule out. Small chance these scans will not pick it up but I assume if I get worse I will repeat the tests.
  • Chronic stress - just a build up over time - which will be difficult to dissipate - massages, meditation, deep breathing only do me so much good.
 
I started reading about adrenal PCOS, Misty & found it a little overwhelming & that is with me not having it! You are doing so well trying to get to the bottom of this. I admire your strength :grouphug:
 
Cate said:
I started reading about adrenal PCOS, Misty & found it a little overwhelming & that is with me not having it! You are doing so well trying to get to the bottom of this. I admire your strength :grouphug:
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Thanks so much Cate, this is such a journey, lol
Love you xoxo
 
Ok so it appears I do have adrenal PCOS - and I was surprised by my naturopath's suggestion of going onto medication called spironolactone, which even my family doctor is hesitant to put me on. I'm going to ask her about it next week I guess.

Re: CT scan - so I talked to my doctor and surprisingly she was OK with this. But she said an MRI is better, so I got a note from her. At least we are going on this journey together. I've asked so much from her that asking for spironolactone again seems like an uphill battle.

Also my adrenals seems to be weak, they need some time to recuperate.
 
Today I feel depressed and heartbroken. Been a rough start to the year with someone I liked disappearing on me, being told I need even more medication (not even knowing if this will work), and feeling absolutely miserable at work.

I think T disappearing on me is hitting me today. Am I really that unlikeable? I feel heartbroken today. Completely heartbroken.

And does God really hate me that much to be taking away chunks of my hair? I'm going to have to jump a few more hoops for the medication b/c my sodium and potassium levels will need to be check prior to medication use - which will take a good week. The dosage will need to be adjusted and then it is a wait and watch game on top of side effects. Maybe I am complaining too much but I really really need a break. Somewhere. Anywhere.

I know I will make things happen. I know that if this feels like rock bottom (which it isn't even, things can go much much more wrong), there is only up. It just hurts. Everything hurts today. I'll be ok in a couple of weeks though. Heartbreaks take a while. A boy that makes me cry isn't worth it though. My brain is telling me that - unfortunately my heart is hurting regardless.
 
Honey, I think we all have those days. You must know that you are loveable. You'll get through this rough patch. You are strong & lovely. You are steps ahead towards finding what might actually work for you. I'm sending you the biggest hug I can muster & sending you lots and lots of love xoxoxo
 
Cate said:
Honey, I think we all have those days. You must know that you are loveable. You'll get through this rough patch. You are strong & lovely. You are steps ahead towards finding what might actually work for you. I'm sending you the biggest hug I can muster & sending you lots and lots of love xoxoxo
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Thanks so much Cate, one of my resolutions this year is to be stronger. Mentally. I am in a hole that only I can dig myself out of. It's just been a bit rough.

I feel I need to ride out the next couple of weeks. MRIs will be done, will have asked the doctor for meds, I'll be a bit more into job hunting mode, I need to give myself some time.
 
Update: I just deleted all of T's messages and number. I feel that if I have so much shit going on in my life and I can drop a text to say hello to someone, there is no reason someone else cannot reciprocate. I have more self-respect than that. Yes, my self-confidence is a bit low because of the hair loss and the job - but once those things resolve themselves, I should be OK. And will find someone that can reciprocate and hold a meaningful conversation with the intention of having a committed relationship.
 
misty22 said:
Update: I just deleted all of T's messages and number. I feel that if I have so much shit going on in my life and I can drop a text to say hello to someone, there is no reason someone else cannot reciprocate. I have more self-respect than that
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Yes. Yes, you do :beating:
 
Been quiet for a while. Had one of my MRI last Friday - will get results back this week. Have another one next Sat - I could not do them both in one day. This week's is more important anyways.

Appointment with Dr. Ross: Fri, Jan 24th
Need to ask: new prescription BCP, spironolactone, gardasil shot

I need to move on with my job hunt. I am leaving work at 4pm everyday and will need to start coming in early to make up for my work hours and then home and job hunt properly. Scared, excited, nervous, all at the same time. My energy is not great either so looking forward to napping and then kicking off job hunting. Was thinking of an interview coach as I have not interviewed in a while. I have one that I found online, his name is Austin. I need to brush up on a few things tonight and reach out to him if I feel I need help.

Gained a few lbs when I went home and ate like crap - mostly emotional eating. Back on track today.

CW: 111.6
 
Lol so my GI MAP came back. My gut is a bit of a mess. Have some bacterial overgrowth, immune system is low, stomach acid low, digestion not as good, not absorbing as much nutrients, leaky gut. The girl I did it with also thinks I have a thyroid issue.

It seems like my entire system is collapsing. Which is true. It reflects in how I look/feel. And I also have adrenal PCOS. It's a mess.

I will have to address all of these areas one-by-one with further testing after I take some healing steps. I feel a slight bit overwhelmed and unlucky but so it goes. Have to make the best of the situation. I feel terribly lost. I don't even know what has set everything off. It will take some months for things to settle down.
 
misty22 said:
I feel terribly lost.
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You shouldn't. It sounds like at least you now know what you have to start doing. That's progress!

Hang in there, you can beat this!
 
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