tipping your waitress?

[Jeanette401]

I have to agree on the percentage base for the tip. I mean, to a degree tipping makes sense in that you can reward/penalize for the quality of service and it's direct feedback.

On the other hand, if someone gives me great service but I only ordered a sandwich they might get less than someone who give me mediocre service, but I was having the lobster? Or the restaurant was overpriced? Or?

For the most part I do tend to tip well because I can't really blame the waitstaff for society's stupid system. I don't know why the 'appropriate' tip has been increasing. I remember when 15% was an awesome tip, and 20% was unheard of. When did 25% become 'good'? and 10% a lousy tip?

Again, I accept that it's probably how it is because it's not Joe Random Waiter's fault that the restaurant industry pays such crappy wages, or that for some reason people tip more and the norm has changed... (Also I have seen Waiting!) but it really baffles and annoys me. How is it that the price of a meal has gone up (not to mention the cost of coffee !!! ) and yet waitstaff wages stay the same and they just deal with inflation by an increased tip expectation?

People are strange. That's all I know.

 

[San2]

They get a wage. That's how they are paid for their service. I don't tip the girl at the checkout in the supermarket either, no matter how nice she is or how well she does her job. Why should waiters/waitresses get special treatment??

 

[ChefChiTown]

Do not think like that. It is their rights.They give you a lot of service. You have to pay for it. It's simple.

First of all, no - their employers should have to pay for it, not the customers.

You don't walk into Best Buy and purchase a $1,500 60 inch HDTV, but then immediately turn around and give the sales associate who helped you $100. You just say "thanks for your help" and enjoy your new TV. You don't tip the guy at Best Buy because it's his job to help you. He gets paid to do that. Why should it be any different with a waiter or waitress? Why is it ok for the customer to "have to pay for it," while the employer offers their staff an embarrassing wage?

Secondly, I don't get tips as a chef. And, if you feel that waiters/waitresses deserve to be tipped/paid by the customer because they give them "a lot of service," then the chefs making the delicious meals those customers are eating should get tipped as well. I'm sorry, but asking what a customer wants to drink, taking their order and then bringing them a plate is nowhere near as much work as a chef has to do. If a waiter/waitress deserves a tip for the work they do for the customers, then a chef deserve sexual favors.

 

[Phwoar]

Yeah In England we have a chain called Wetherspoons where it was cheap and cheerful (as cheap as £1.99 for a decent sized meal) and they recently re-did it all so there are gourmet burgers and stuff for almost £10. Too 'spensive for a lowly student! I didn't mind when then used to bang the food down on the table and be surly when the food was cheap but whilst the prices have changed, the staff haven't so I very rarely tip there anymore!

Our wetherspoons are all still really reasonable!

But I don't think typing is such a big thing in the UK as it is anywhere else as if I eat out I don't feel the need to tip? the waitress/waiter gets paid at the end of the week/month anyway :/ I mean I work and don't get tipped everytime I finish with a customer?! If I'm in like a little cafe or what not then if I feel it's been good I'll add a couple extra £ to the bil

 

[Godzilla1]

Let me brutally honest here ... if you take a job as a waitress, knowing full well that the pay is shit, then you can't really complain about it. It's like jumping in a pool and then complaining about getting wet - you knew there's water in it, what the hell do you expect???

A lot of women jump into that pool because they have no skills - or can't find work with the skills they have - and need to house and feed themselves (and their kids).

Thing is, women take jobs as waitresses knowing full well that the vast majority of people tip, which means they might actually be able to make a living. YOU"RE the one who's changing the rules after the games has started.

I don't tip on a mandatory per-cent basis, especially when I'm out for drinks, because all the waitress has done is carry three trays to the table. If the tab runs to seventy bucks, and she's been courteous, I'll probably tip around six or seven bucks. That seems sufficient for three trips to the table.

If I'm out for dinner, and the waitress has been extraordinarily attentive, friendly, and engaging, I tip in the 20% range.

 

[San2]

A lot of women jump into that pool because they have no skills - or can't find work with the skills they have - and need to house and feed themselves (and their kids).

Thing is, women take jobs as waitresses knowing full well that the vast majority of people tip, which means they might actually be able to make a living. YOU"RE the one who's changing the rules after the games has started.

I know people will hate me for this, but....if you don't have skills, and you are struggling to feed yourself, how about not having kids in the first place? Just a thought. And there are other jobs you can get with next to no skills. Or you could try to 'skill up'? Just a thought.

And I am terribly sorry for 'changing the rules', but I don't see why I should treat a waiter/waitress different than any other person that offers some sort of service. I don't tip the checkout peeps in the supermarket, I don't tip the girl in the bank, I don't tip my mailman. It's not my fault you decided to take a crappy job. Get over it.

 

[Phwoar]

A lot of women jump into that pool because they have no skills - or can't find work with the skills they have - and need to house and feed themselves (and their kids).

Thing is, women take jobs as waitresses knowing full well that the vast majority of people tip, which means they might actually be able to make a living. YOU"RE the one who's changing the rules after the games has started.

I don't tip on a mandatory per-cent basis, especially when I'm out for drinks, because all the waitress has done is carry three trays to the table. If the tab runs to seventy bucks, and she's been courteous, I'll probably tip around six or seven bucks. That seems sufficient for three trips to the table.

If I'm out for dinner, and the waitress has been extraordinarily attentive, friendly, and engaging, I tip in the 20% range.

Little bit sexist is it not?

 

[Snezy]

Okay, I have to say something about this.

Basically when you go to a restaurant your bill is the food you pay for, the tip is for the service that your server is giving you. It should be determined by their performance. If they're a bad server and they make mistakes, they should not expect a tip. If they do their job and the food gets to the table in an orderly, friendly, and timely manner they should be tipped average. If they're outstanding, such as making everyone laugh, suggesting good foods that are enjoyed and/or showing a level of interest into the customer's overall experience then they should be tipped above average.

It is a measure of the server's performance and is used to motivate the server to give the best service they can.

If they took away the tip, servers would not be motivated to be friendly nor would they do anything extra for the customers. The customers would suffer as a result of the poor service and as a result, so would the business.

Whether you like it or not, tipping is customary in North America and many other places around the world. You must acknowledge this, it's part of our society. Many server must pay out other members of the staff, as they also had a hand in providing the service. Usually it a percentage of the server's total sales or just a flat number per number of tables. So if you don't tip your server, your server is essentially paying for you to eat there.

I used to serve and trust me they deserve it. Most server are treated like trash and are payed peanuts for a wage. Please tip your servers!

Edit:

On the topic of what the appropriate tipping % is? Well I always thought it was 10%. I don't see how a % can increase because it's a percentage... it's not affected by inflation. Anyways I believe the norm these days is about 15%. I'll typically tip 15% if they're average. They have to be pretty bad for me to tip lower than 15%. If they are a good server(which I know, after working as one ) I'll tip them 20%. I think 25% is a bit outrageous. As a server, I would never expect anything more than 10%(although I did receive >10% most of the time ). Lower than 10% would be a bummer, anything higher would be a plus.

 

[ForRealThisTime]

Being originally from Ireland, where service is absolutely terrible, most people tip very little.

Having moved to the USA... the service is for the most part phenomenal. If you are having a beer with dinner and the server asks "would you like another?" and you look down and notice that they noticed your beer was nearly gone before you did that is good service. When you get everything exactly as you asked for it.

Basically when someone doesnt just bring you some food but actually takes pride in their work and makes you have a more enjoyable experience then absolutely I think tipping is required. I value service and will pay well for it.

Also in bars I always tip very well, and when I go back for another round at the bar I get served immediately rather than having to wait.

When I go back to Ireland I am astounded at how terrible the service is.

 

[Iain1974]

Little bit sexist is it not?

Welcome to reality.

 

[ChefChiTown]

So if you don't tip your server, your server is essentially paying for you to eat there.

The credit card I put on the table that has my name on it says otherwise.

I used to serve and trust me they deserve it. Most server are treated like trash and are payed peanuts for a wage.

Work 80 to 100 hours a week in a hot kitchen without hardly ever getting a break, on a salary that, when divided into an hour wage, earns you less than the servers working in the front of the house, and then tell me who in a restaurant "deserves" tips.

 

[Snezy]

The credit card I put on the table that has my name on it says otherwise.

They're not paying the entire bill. But when you don't tip them they actually have to pay other members of the staff regardless of whether you tipped them or not. So if you don't tip them, they have to pay to serve you.

Work 80 to 100 hours a week in a hot kitchen without hardly ever getting a break, on a salary that, when divided into an hour wage, earns you less than the servers working in the front of the house, and then tell me who in a restaurant "deserves" tips.

If you feel you're not getting what you deserve, then this is an issue to be dealt with your boss. Not in a debate on tipping servers.

From my experience the servers get treated much worse than the cooks. I have no idea what the cook's wages were, but I know that the server's wage was despicable.

 

[Phwoar]

Welcome to reality.

Have always been in reality thanks

But not all folk working in restaurants etc. are female?!

 

[Godzilla1]

I'm sexist, but I favour both genders.

Little bit sexist is it not?

Nope, not in the least. I appreciate - and to a certain extent, expect - civil conduct and an honest effort from everybody.

When I have delivery, and the guy is prompt and pleasant, I tip him a few bucks. When I hire movers, and they're courteous and diligent, I tip them $20.00 and have a snack and a drink for them. Tour guides usually get $20.00 if they've put in a good effort and tried to make the occasion special. When my staff has risen to perform in difficult occasions, I take them out for tapas and drinks.

It's all tips. It's all a way of saying "I appreciate your genuine effort" to people who make a genuine effort.

Bottom line: If you don't want to tip, don't.

 

[San2]

If you feel you're not getting what you deserve, then this is an issue to be dealt with your boss. Not in a debate on tipping servers.

Then the waitresses need to take it up with their boss if they feel they don't get what they deserve as well. I ask once more, why is it that people are supposed to treat a waiter/waitress any different than anybody else who works in the service industry? Do you tip your bus driver? The person at the checkout in the supermarket? Your mailman? Your doctor? The guy behind the counter at McDonalds (or any other fast food chain)? When was the last time you gave a tip to a teacher, or to the dude that's sweeping the street?

They all perform a service for you. They are no different than a waiter/waitress. Some of those people's jobs are a lot worse than carrying a few plates around. And yes, I have worked as a waitress before, so I know what I'm talking about. And while tips are nice, I still wonder what makes a waiter/waitress so special that I need to pay extra for them?

As for them having to pay for serving me....nonsense. I get a bill from the restaurant that exceeds the actual value of the food by a very generous margin...well, I'd usually say about 20% of the bill will cover the groceries used for the meal. What the owner of the restaurant does with the remaining 80% of the money is simply not my problem. I paid the bill, in full. Not the waiter/waitress. They get a wage for serving me. It's their job, just like it's my bus drivers job to drive the bus. If they don't like the job or the wage, they have to find a different one, it's that simple.

 

[Monster2]

You know... I gotta agree with Chef... cooks, especially non chefs really do get royally screwed when it comes to pay.
and Thanks for the insight, guys. I thought this thread had degenerated into bickering and repetitiveness, but I'm glad I came back and had a read.
I may never tip again!

 

[ChefChiTown]

They're not paying the entire bill. But when you don't tip them they actually have to pay other members of the staff regardless of whether you tipped them or not. So if you don't tip them, they have to pay to serve you.

What are you talking about? If I don't tip a waiter/waitress, they're not paying for shit. I'm still paying my bill - I'm just not tipping them.

I order a steak and chicken entree for me and my girlfriend. We have a few drinks. At the end of the night, the bill comes out to $35. I put $35 on my credit card, but don't tip the waiter because their service was piss poor. In no way, shape or form are they paying for anything just because I didn't tip them. I'm still paying $35 for my meal, which leaves the waiter in that scenario paying for absolutely nothing. Not one penny comes out of their pocket.

Where are you getting this notion that not tipping a waiter/waitress leaves them with paying the bill? It makes no sense.

If you feel you're not getting what you deserve, then this is an issue to be dealt with your boss. Not in a debate on tipping servers.

From my experience the servers get treated much worse than the cooks. I have no idea what the cook's wages were, but I know that the server's wage was despicable.

If a server's wage is despicable, than a chef's wage is worse. When you break down the salary of an average chef into an hourly wage, they end up making less than many waiters and waitresses. Not to mention, chefs don't get tips.

But, you know what? You're right. If you feel you're not getting what you deserve, it's an issue that needs to be taken up with your boss. It's no different for waiters/waitresses. Don't get mad at the customer for not tipping you an amount which you feel you 'deserve' - get mad at your boss for paying you a shitty salary.

As for them having to pay for serving me....nonsense. I get a bill from the restaurant that exceeds the actual value of the food by a very generous margin...well, I'd usually say about 20% of the bill will cover the groceries used for the meal. What the owner of the restaurant does with the remaining 80% of the money is simply not my problem. I paid the bill, in full. Not the waiter/waitress. They get a wage for serving me. It's their job, just like it's my bus drivers job to drive the bus. If they don't like the job or the wage, they have to find a different one, it's that simple.

Exactly.

If you walk into a waiter/waitressing job EXPECTING to make tips, as if you DESERVE them, then you're never going to be happy with the amount of money you make. Even if you make $400 a night, you'll still be able to nitpick about how you 'deserve' more, as if the customers owe you money.

I've known some very excellent waiters and waitresses in my life, but none of them have ever 'deserved' the money I tip them. A tip isn't a right - it's a reward - a pat on the back. And, rewards are never deserved, as if they are hand outs - rewards are earned. And, if you don't earn your tip, then you have no right to bitch and moan when you don't get one.

 

[Snezy]

I'm still paying $35 for my meal, which leaves the waiter in that scenario paying for absolutely nothing. Not one penny comes out of their pocket.

Where are you getting this notion that not tipping a waiter/waitress leaves them with paying the bill? It makes no sense.

Okay, I will describe the scenario to you in depth so you understand.

You pay 100 dollars for your meal and you don't tip your server.

The server needs to pay the rest of the staff a % of their sales to the rest of the staff. This % depends on the place. It's usually around 2-3%.

So for your table she has to pay 2-3 dollars to the rest of the staff to serve you.

You gave her 0 dollars in tip, she gave 2-3 dollars to serve your table. Therefore she had resulted in negative 2-3 dollars after serving your table.

But, you know what? You're right. If you feel you're not getting what you deserve, it's an issue that needs to be taken up with your boss. It's no different for waiters/waitresses. Don't get mad at the customer for not tipping you an amount which you feel you 'deserve' - get mad at your boss for paying you a shitty salary.

This is not a debate on myself, I don't even serve anymore.

But typically a server's salary is almost always lower than a cook's. I'm pretty sure it's minimum wage, in nearly all restaurants. And the things that server's have to go through is pretty tough as it is. They are compensated by the extra money paid by tips. Although you may not agree with this, it is the way the restaurant business works. If you choose to ignore this they will get mad because it is a social norm.

And, rewards are never deserved, as if they are hand outs - rewards are earned. And, if you don't earn your tip, then you have no right to bitch and moan when you don't get one.

I do agree with you on this topic, as explained in my post.

 

[Iain1974]

The server needs to pay the rest of the staff a % of their sales to the rest of the staff. This % depends on the place. It's usually around 2-3%.
So for your table she has to pay 2-3 dollars to the rest of the staff to serve you.

But typically a server's salary is almost always lower than a cook's. I'm pretty sure it's minimum wage, in nearly all restaurants.....

% of sales? Are you sure? I've never heard of this before.

At college I used to work at McDonalds, they pay minimum wage (actually it was a little above, $5.60 in the mid-1990's) but I don't remember feeling hard done by for not getting tips. Oh, and we got less respect than the average waiter. The mess left behind by some customers defied belief.

 

[San2]

Okay, I will describe the scenario to you in depth so you understand.

You pay 100 dollars for your meal and you don't tip your server.

The server needs to pay the rest of the staff a % of their sales to the rest of the staff. This % depends on the place. It's usually around 2-3%.

So for your table she has to pay 2-3 dollars to the rest of the staff to serve you.

You gave her 0 dollars in tip, she gave 2-3 dollars to serve your table. Therefore she had resulted in negative 2-3 dollars after serving your table.

I so don't understand what you are talking about, and I always considered myself a reasonably intelligent person. I have never once heard that a server has to pay a percentage of their sales to the other staff. That doesn't even make sense. If that was how they handled it wherever you worked, that must have been one weird restaurant, and a hell of a crappy job. But that's certainly not the norm.