Well, it's like this. I don't own a scale. Never have but won't say never will. I've not deviated from my original thoughts about scales - right, wrong or indifferent. I know some can and will rightfully disagree with me on this. That's fine.
MSN.com had a highlight story on Michelle - last night's BL winner. And in MSN fashion, they had a few sub-links; one being the 'Where are they now' of the past five season winners. I explored it deeply.
As it turned out, by my gorilla math, pretty much 30 lbs gains was the mean average for relapsing contestants. Probably the only consistent group that was under a 30 lb. gain was last season's group. Did it make me feel any better ?? Well, no, but it made me understand, though.
It made me understand that a contest is just that. It's an opportunity, sure, but without a complete lifestyle change in complete totality, well, there is vulnerability. I guess I found that out - without acceptance. Now I know.
Totality is my next level, not engaging in this demeaning nature outside of my element. I could only wish to encourage you collectively and feed off the second tier ahead me. Liz's yearning is comparable to my own. I'd just as soon work off of that. Obviously my previous race to weight loss had a weak link that led to relapse. I don't need to do this a second time.
Sorry for the sincerity but my obesity was pretty serious to me and forever will be. I'm dealing with a different set of parameters than when I joined here in the past. I just need consistency, diligence and steadfastness, not a race right now. Don't construe this as a sign of weakness, in fact, it's the complete opposite of.
I more than likely won't be the first to 30 but don't bet against the 30 happening, either.
