Syd's Journey to Summer

Status
Not open for further replies.
Calories are not worth talking about for today but I'll do a weigh in.
Current weight: 72,7kg (160lbs)
Total weight lost: 13,2kg (29lbs)
 
My current weight is still around 72kg. Hopefully that'll change soon.

This is the video of the holiday to Slovenia.<3 I've finally finished it and I'm so happy.
 
Current progress~

21850402_2010518062493401_825778909_n.png
 
Also a little update: I did mail the psychiatry at the hospital I used to go to for dental problems. I will check if my insurance would cover appointments, and if they do I might get an intake scheduled.
The reason being is that I have definitely developed an eating disorder. Laxative abuse, Chew/Spit hauls, excessive exercising and recently also purging are all things that have come into play now. I'm sorry I failed y'all.
 
You didn't fail anyone but yourself and even that is not a matter of placing blame but of needing to (re)learn to value and care for yourself instead of your achievements. I am sorry you're struggling so but you can already be proud of recognizing you have aproblem and taking the first step to solving it. Hugs if you want them and all the best with your recovery.
 
Good for you Syd, acknowledging that you need help. You certainly have not failed us. I agree with LaMa's point that you need to learn to value & care for yourself instead of your achievements. You deserve some TLC hon. We certainly wouldn't criticise you. Hugs from me too if you would like them xoxo :grouphug:
 
Little update just so you know how I've been doing...

I've scheduled an appointment with the psychiatrist. At first it was going to be January 10th but last week I called the hospital and asked if there was any opportunity to reschedule. January 10th would just be too far away as my situation is getting worse and worse. It's been rescheduled for Dec 21st.

I used to chew & spit, which isn't that bad for your body except that it makes your body produce stomach acids that may lead to stomachache, but that's really all. Now I've purposely bought food to binge on and then purge. When I was still chewing & spitting I could never see myself binging and purging, but here I am. You buy 1 bag of crisps purposely to purge and the next 2 days you spend €25 on B/P foods.

Last Tuesday I had an appointment with the doctor to talk about my eating habits and especially my laxative abuse. Since my boyfriend found out about them he made me promise not to take laxatives anymore. One week after that and I was constipated as all hell, hadn't been to the toilet at all. The doctor prescribed a laxative powder that's supposed to be a lot more mild and less painful than the basic laxatives I got at the pharmacy.

I used to feel fine, but I honestly feel disgusted with my new binge/purge habit. I don't really know what to do.

Food diary 6/12
Breakfast: -
Lunch: 1 Sour Cream crisp (10)
Dinner: -
Drinks: 500ml sugarfree lemonade with lax powder (25)
B/P: 500ml B&Js Peanut Butter Cup (1400)

Total: 35 calories.
Steps: 4,449 (142 burned)

Binge/Purge haul. The popcorn, 2 packets of noodles, the puddings, bifi sausages and the hazelnut chocolate bar were Binge/Purged yesterday.
24819106_2041916382686902_753100943_o.jpg

24946193_2042302302648310_622813204_o.png
 
Last edited:
admitting you have a problem is a big part of dealing with it, you have done that, the rest will come with time once you get to see the psychiatrist. You will be ok in the long run with support, and we support you here.
 
I would personally prefer it if you didn´t post pictures of the foods you bought to binge on because it hits a little close to home but I am glad you managed to get your appointment moved up. Purging instead of pooping does not sound pleasant! Jedi hugs.
 
LaMaria said:
I would personally prefer it if you didn´t post pictures of the foods you bought to binge on because it hits a little close to home but I am glad you managed to get your appointment moved up. Purging instead of pooping does not sound pleasant! Jedi hugs.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry LaMaria, in the future I won't post pictures of those foods. And thank you for the Jedi hugs! :p
 
Thanks hon. I really don´t want to criticize you on top of all the shit you´re dealing with but... Self care and all that. You are going to beat this!
 
Happy new year to everyone! Hope you had an amazing start of 2018.

As for me, I have now officially been diagnosed with Bulimia. A combination of Bulimia and BED actually, but really the only reason I'm not 100% diagnosed with Bulimia is because I don't eat until I'm absolutely too full to actually take a bite anymore. I haven't told my parents yet, they are dealing with enough stress right now since we found out my 27 year old sister has cervical cancer.

I've been put on Fluoxetine for Bulimia, so not for depression or anything. But they are currently making me feel nauseous as hell, though I shouldn't be affected this much after just one pill. The effects stay in your body for 3 weeks, so if one pill makes me feel like this, I wonder what it's going to be like in 3 weeks. Maybe I'm having an allergic reaction?

Either way I hope everyone is doing okay.<3
 
Hi Syd, good to hear you got a diagnosis and are being treated. Can you ask your physician if the symptoms you're experiencing are an expected reaction to your meds? I think it always pays to be careful. All the best for your sister as well, of course.
 
I think my body just had to get used to the medicine. I haven't been feeling very ill the past days while taking the recommended 20mg every day.

Gonna go to the dentist tomorrow to fill up a hole in my tooth. A piece broke off when I was chewing gum, but because I had root canal treatment there, it didnt hurt one bit (thank god).
 
Last edited:
I'm also glad to hear that you are receiving treatment & that the nausea has gone. I'm so sorry about your sister having cancer hon xoxo
 
Just doing a quick weigh in.

CW: 64,4 kg or 142 lbs.
Weight loss in 2018: 2,9 kg (6,4 lbs)
Total weight loss: 21,5 kg (47,4 lbs)

I'm proud of myself for nearly losing 50 lbs, but obviously not proud of the way I've done it.
I'll just focus on getting better for now.
 
Just did a weigh in and I've now officially lost 50lbs.

CW: 63,1kg or 139,1lbs
Weight lost in 2018: 4,2kg (9,2 lbs)
Total weight loss: 22,7kg (50,04 lbs)

SBMI: 30,8
CBMI: 22,63

Also, my food diary from the past 3 days to show others why losing weight this quickly is definitely not worth it.
Keeping a food diary outside of this site right now to show my therapist when I have to go back February 2nd.

Getting better is gonna be quite difficult, I'm literally terrified of food actually digesting.

Sunday Jan 21st
Food Diary:
250 ml Sugar free energy drink (5)
500ml White chocolate mocha (128)
330ml Cherry coca cola zero (2)
250ml Cola zero (2)

Total: 137 kcal

Binge / Purge food:
- Ritter Sport, White Whole Hazelnut
- 2 Hawaiian pizza baguettes
- Meat balls in sweet & sour sauce
- 12 mini chicken skewers
- Bag of unsalted walnuts, cashews, hazelnuts and peanuts

--------------------

Monday Jan 22nd
Food Diary:
500ml Sugar free energy drink (10)

Total: 10 kcal

B/P food:
- Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup
- Bag of strawberry laces
- Big Italian oven bun
- 200g white chocolate mousse
- Mug shot pasta tomato & herb
- Peanuts
- 2 popsicles
- Toffifee

--------------------

Tuesday Jan 23rd
500ml Sugar free energy drink (10)
330ml Cherry coca cola zero (2)
500ml White chocolate mocha (128)
250ml Hazelnut latte (70)

Total: 210 kcal

B/P food:
- Bag of sun moon & star crisps
- A waffle cookie
- 14 Chicken balls with sweet chili center
- Peanut M&Ms
- Box of Toffifee
 
Oh, honey, I'm glad you are going to a therapist & I wish you all the best. I look forward to the day that you can share with us that you are treating yourself with the love & care that you deserve, xoxo
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top